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Question of the day
Wednesday, Feb 21, 2007 - Posted by Rich Miller Today is the last day for U of I sports mascot “Chief Illiniwek,” overshadowing the last home game for the Illini’s senior class. Media hordes are preparing to descend upon Assembly Hall, but they probably won’t find any protests by the anti-Chief crowd, and there’s still debate about what to do with the logo. But I don’t care about any of that. Question: Let’s come up with a new “mascot” for the U of I. Snark is heavily encouraged, debating the Chief’s demise is strongly discouraged. We’ve already been there, done that. It’s over. Let’s move on…
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- oechmd - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:30 am:
How about the image of a politician behind bars? Very bipartisan, and truly reflective of the color blind, inclusive sort of state IL strives to be? The dance could be a threesome, the pol plus two guards, while the crowd chants ‘I didn’t do it’.
- Archpundit - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:35 am:
Change the name to the Illini Grifters–especially fitting since the U of I was put in Champaign-Urbana due to a bribe.
New image–briefcase handoff like in track.
Finally, new motto–what else other than Ubi Est Mea
- Commonsense in Illinois - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:37 am:
Gary Larson’s “Boneless Chicken Ranch” cartoon just jumps to mind…
- Mr. Ethics - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:38 am:
To be politcally correct the NCAA just needs to do away with mascots all together. They can still be the Illini, redbirds, huskies, salukis or whatever but no costumed mascot. If U 0f I can’t use Illini since it offends someone than how about the “Champaign Toasts”
- Chief Wahoo - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:50 am:
I’m looking forward to being at tonight’s game - season ticket holder. Rumor is that to make the Chief’s retirement ‘authentic’, an Iroquois Indian will be in C Section with a bow and arrow to take down the Chief at the end of the dance. Should be worth the price of admission.
New mascot - in honor of the late Sen. Stan Weaver (U of I’s pork king), make the mascot an undertaker (Stan’s profession) or cigarette (Stan was never without one).
- Anon - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:52 am:
I think you just put it out for bid. They could re-bid every year. One year it could be the Illilnois Fighting “Drink Pepsi” the next year the Illinois Fighting “Toyotas”…
- Squideshi - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:12 am:
How about “Rod Blagojevich’s University of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, Governor”?
- Ron - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:22 am:
how about a collage made up of every ethnic and racial person, both male and female, with some gays thrown in. the new fight song can be “we are the world.”
- Hayden Fry - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:37 am:
…how about the Hawkettes?
- Illini - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:42 am:
I love snark, but not for this topic. Again, as Rich has incorrectly pointed out for the 2,358,257th time, Chief Illiniwek is a symbol, not a mascot. Bucky Badger is a mascot…the Chief is an honored tradition. NO new symbol, NO mascot.
- Patriot - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:45 am:
How about the “CUPCAKES” which stands for a Collection of University Politically Correct Academic Know-it-alls Educating Students.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:46 am:
“Chief Illiniwek is a symbol, not a mascot.”
Chief Illiniwek is a mascot. Just because you alumni insist upon calling him a “symbol” does not make it so. He’s a mascot. Actually, after tonight, he’s not even that. He’s nothing. Gone. Vamoosified.
Move along, please.
- Sango Dem - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:05 am:
The Illinois Polecats. The mascot can be represented at games by any politician running for re-election.
- leigh - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:19 am:
I think they should stick with the whole “Village People” theme. Since they can’t use an Indian anymore perhaps it is time to move on to the cop or the cowboy. Maybe they could rotate them. Their new fight song, “YMCA” of course.
- Illini - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:21 am:
Rich,
You’re ignorance on the topic is deafening. And I’m not just bashing you…because I love about 99% of your stuff.
- The Ghost - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:22 am:
Today is a sad day for many U. of I. alumni and especially for me, since I performed with the Chief in the Marching Illini and b-ball band.
This thread is offensive. I think I’ll start a protest. Get a few whiners who have nothing to do with this blog to protest. Then get the national blogger association to ban you from post-season blogging.
Or perhaps you’ll allow us to come up with snarky mascots/names for the other state universities, which some of us would call the “safety schools.” You know, like Edgar University or Poshardapalooza.
- Chitownguy - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:23 am:
Rich - That is wrong.. The Chief will still be around.. just not at halftime. he will still be on shirts, pictures etc.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:29 am:
“Chitownguy” I’m touched by your commitment to the goofy dancing white boy. Truly I am.
But let’s get back to the question, shall we?
- Anon - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:33 am:
The Village People comment had me laughing out loud.
- Sango Dem - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:36 am:
On second thought, after reading some of the posts here, I think it should be the Privileged Whiner mascot.
Instead of that goofie dance they have now, they’ll have some white guy who thinks he should be in an ivy league school compensate for not getting accepted to Harvard by bragging about how much better the U of I is than other state schools.
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:41 am:
“Illini” feel free to say what you will. If we disagree on one percent, it’s no big deal in my book.
But let’s try to at least address the question at hand, OK? Thanks.
- Wumpus - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:51 am:
Illinois Fighting Irish! Or Lazy (Insert nationality here), etc.
How about Illinois PC Police!
- pickles!! - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:56 am:
Something that is not politically incorrect? with the name Fighting Illini, theres only so much you can do to match a name with a mascot that won’t “offend” anyone. (and god forbid we offend someone)
I Got it! how about a walking ear of corn! Thye can name him something dumb, like Corney, the Illini mascot! Kids can throw butter at him. Illinois is all about corn and John Deere tractors, so why not. Or maybe a deer.
The’ll probbaly pick a dumb bird like they did with Tommy Hawk anyway.
- NW burbs - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 11:57 am:
The posts here are too political-based. Lighten’ up y’all…
The Fighting Lincolns — Stovepipe hat, scraggly beard, start every half time with “Four score and…” …sweet.
The Flying Squirrels — Big furry tails for the first 500 fans!
And, for you kooky conservative Barry-haters:
The BO — Blue and orange body paint for everyone + a bonus Obama face-mask for the first 500 fans; just don’t tell Fran Eaton or she’ll go ballistic over the U of I preaching about athletic supremacy and Big(11)Ten separatism (then again, they’re going to have to get some better gameplans together before anyone can talk about athletic “supremacy”).
(And yes, I’m an alum. And yes, those whining about it all are coming off sounding like crybabies. Life goes on kids.)
- Wumpus - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:01 pm:
How about the non-graduating, exploited atheletes accompanied by the fundrasier?
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:05 pm:
The Chief is a “symbol,” not a mascot.
The Governor is a “leader,” not a fraud.
The carpet store down the street sells “floor solutions,” not carpets.
Rep. Chapa LaVia pushed a bogus violent video game bill because she was “honestly concerned as a mother,” not because she was a vulnerable freshman Democrat trying to build cred with suburban Moms.
Emil Jones blocks consumer-friendly energy legislation because he’s “concerned about ComEd’s viability,” not because they pay for his campaigns.
If Rich were gullible enough to buy the whole Symbol/Mascot distinction, then he’d be gullible enough to buy all the other B.S. that gets thrown around. And then this blog would suck. So where would that leave us?
- IlliniPundit - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:13 pm:
I’d prefer nothing at all.
- Lovie's Leather - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:15 pm:
Fine, if the native americans don’t like the fighting Illini, then we should try to honor an underpriviledged group in the world… The gypsys… How about the Fighting Pikeys?! And the mascot could be a really greasy looking Brad Pitt and the school slogan would be, “So, you like dags?” And the school color would be “Periwinkle Blue.”
- Cornelius - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:25 pm:
How about a big oversized hairbrush stuck in a full pompadour?
- Boone Logan Square - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:25 pm:
All UIUC teams should immediately be named The Fightin’ Obamas. At halftime of every basketball game an Obama impersonator could give his 2004 DNC speech using the name Obamamania. When the team runs off a winning steak, the streak will be known as Obamamomentum.
Say what you will, but this will guarantee more mentions on SportsCenter. What sports anchor wouldn’t want to bellow the word Obamamomentum?
- Tom - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:27 pm:
The Drunken Fratboys would work. They would march out with Greek letters and backward baseball caps, chug from flasks, and march around until falling in a drunken heap.
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:30 pm:
The Fighting Peaceniks - Any fratboy could be the icon.
- Lovie's Leather - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:33 pm:
The fighting pacifists???
- Amy - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:36 pm:
guys dressed like Joel in Risky Business…
white shirt, Raybans, socks and
dancing to Old Time Rock and Roll. After all, U. Of
I. was Joel’s safety school
- Bomber91 - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:39 pm:
Representative X: “Today, I’m introducing legislation to form the Select Committee on Mascots and Other Registered Organizational Names.”
Don’t laugh because I see a “blue ribbon panel” on the horizon.
- RickG - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:41 pm:
How about a black hawk?
Oh, wait.
- Gus Bode - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:42 pm:
The Yipping Pomeranians
This is perfect because they can’t run with the big dogs at SIUC
- Objective Dem - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:43 pm:
As a capitalist, I like the earlier suggestion about selling the naming rights to the highest bidder. But as a liberal, I think we need to make sure that certain products and companies are not allowed to bid (junk food companies, Fox news, etc.) and we need to give bonus points for certain other products and companies (”green” products, minority firms, etc.). The concept may not generate new income to the school but it will create employment.
- Objective Dem - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 12:59 pm:
I propose the Fighting Platos. It honors the philsopher who founded the first place of higher education, the “Plato” computer system, and the greek fraternity/soriority system. Best of all Plato was homosexual, which should unnerve our opponents.
A second option is to honor the Plato system and the Greek life
- The Federalist - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:02 pm:
One not so serious. Use a wrench as a symbol and that way every liberal PC nut could be up tight.
Serious. Civil War soldier, riding a horse around the stadium and firing a cannon when we score. Civil War color guards…Then the “Fighting Illini” would be appropriate. As I understand it, the name was first in reference to WWI vets the Stadium was built to commerate. Only the Rebs will be offended and I do not believe they are an ethnic group. New revenue stream. Sabers, Hats, Shirts Flags. If we ever go to the Peach Bowl the Band can play “Marching Through Georgia” and only alienate the Rebs and NASCAR fans. Another suggestion I received about this great idea is call them the “Illini Union.
- Fighting Ennui - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:03 pm:
I never had a problem with the logo, just the minstrel show.
- Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:18 pm:
How about a politically, racially, ethnically neutral mascot that speaks to the University’s core value? That’s right, the UIUC Cash Bag. A big sack of dough can come around and shake it around the sidelines and at courtside and not offend a soul.
Instead of fireworks on TD’s, substitute the loud ring of a (traditional) cash register.
Because after all, this is the real issue at hand. Not the Indian. Cash money.
- PalosParkBob - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:26 pm:
I’m for the “Fighting Pundits”.
We can put one out there in a KMart suit with Benji’s hanging out of their pockets, and a large note from Emil Jones saying “Thanks for the help, Boys!”
Of course, mandatory parts of the costume would include an “I Love Obama” Button and a DNC tee shirt under the jacket
The biggest problem would be when they get on the floor/field to do their dance.
There’s only so many routines you can do when you’re always leaning to your left……..
- South Sider - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:29 pm:
New team name: The Powerbrokers.
New mascot / Symbol: Image of Emil Jones waving his fist.
New Slogan: “Anything is possible with a veto-proof majority.”
- Jerry - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:47 pm:
Non snarky idea for a mascot:
The Galloping Ghosts (saw someone else else suggest this somewhere, and I’d have to say a like it…the mascot could be a guy dressed up in a red grange uni…or something)
Snarkier-
Or how about the Hal 9000’s. They could raise a giant black pedestal on the field, with a red eye. As the black pedestal thingy rises at the same point in the 3 in 1 that the chief raised his hands to the sky.
The Mozilla’s. Mozilla was the first GUI web browser, and developed at U of I.
Fire Foxes - direct descendent of Mozilla.
The Playboy’s - Hey, Hugh Hefner is a proud alum.
The Fighting Eberts
and, how can I forget -
The Dancing Whities - the Chief returns, sorta! Minus the costume! He can go shirtless, and paint a block I on his chest!
- Ivory-billed Woodpecker - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 1:51 pm:
The Illinois Connected Insiders.
Mascot: a Möbius strip. With teeth.
- Dooley Dudright - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 2:03 pm:
The Daley Illini.
- Pat Colllins - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 2:09 pm:
New symbol: A guy dressed in buckskins, carrying a kentucky long rifle, and he shoots it at the end of the dance. Which, oddly enough, could be a very familiar one.
We could call him GRC
time to move on, put it past us
Sort of the victory cry of the PC crowd.
- Papa Legba - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 2:15 pm:
The U of I Wanna-bees. Because all Alum think they are better than everybody else because they went to a school in the middle of a prairie. And, because “They say it’s so!!!”
- Anon - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 2:27 pm:
How about “The Illinois Politically Correct.” For our slogan, “We stand for a little bit of everything but a whole lot of nothing.”
- Squideshi - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 2:50 pm:
What about HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey? After all, HAL was fictionally created at the HAL Laboratory in Urbana, Illinois. They could use that iconic red camera eye for a logo.
- snidely whiplash - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:31 pm:
“goofy dancing white boy?” Isn’t that in and of itself a racist remark? Would you refer to a “goofy dancing black boy” if an African-American portrayed the Chief?
Why don’t we go with “Pinheads,” because there are plenty on both sides of this–not the least of which is you, Rich.
- Jechislo - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:31 pm:
Well, Rod appointed the U of I Board of Directors. Emil’s crew confirmed them. Now both of these guys have proved that their henchmen will do their bidding. Since they are now doing to the Chief what Rod and Emil have been doing to the State of Illinois for the past 4 years, I suggest a mascot of a giant screw.
- So-Called "Austin Mayor" - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:32 pm:
The Fighting HAL 9000s Battle Cry: “We’re putting ourselves to the fullest possible use, which is all we think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.”
Go HAL9Ks!
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:34 pm:
Let’s just have a “Moment of Silence” at the beginning of each game in honor of the fallen Chief. And we could have a symbolic Lone Cardinal Feather as the iconic symbol of greatness.
- Smack-o-cratic - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:48 pm:
Some great ideas coming out of this. To keep with the existing theme, how about the “I’m a peeved native American personage, no offense”.
Or for a colorful new image, follow the lead of Alabama and Syracuse Universities - No, not the Orange Tide or Orange Men. Something else….perhaps….oh I know, lets name them for the State’s (World’s?)largest machinery maker - Catepillar! The Catepillars. And the mascot would be a wolly one.
- Shelbyville - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:50 pm:
Is there a symbol for drunken driving? Been a little of that going on, lately.
- So-Called "Austin Mayor" - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 3:52 pm:
I think that the aggrieved alumni deserve to have one beloved symbol replaced with another beloved symbol: BOZO!
He’s not doing anything right now and fans could play the Grand Prize Game at halftime.
- HappyToaster - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:05 pm:
“The Combine”
“Insecure Nation”
- Jamar's Car - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:08 pm:
Clearly the top choice is Anna Nicole Smith. it would be a very fitting turn of events, politically correct and really put the State on the map.
- A.N. Smith - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:09 pm:
Hey rather than pick on me how about Jamar’s Car?
- Dan Vock - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:14 pm:
What about Mr. Blue Hands? You know, this guy (top picture)… http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/sioncampus/09/28/roadtrip.bigten.illinois/index.html
- diane - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:22 pm:
Why not go from “symbol” to campy. Emulate the Stanford Tree. If it has to be a cornstalk, it’s a cornstalk. Or better, a wheat bouquet.
- Ivory-billed Woodpecker - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:47 pm:
Like the Fighting HALs idea very much. SCAM, the alternative fight song is “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
- In the Sticks - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:48 pm:
Leave the term “Chief”, but it is a guy in a suit with a briefcase - the CFO
- Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:53 pm:
Rich, I think it’s only right since you started this that you allow a vote for “Best New Mascot.”
There are some excellent suggestions here. My “Cash Bag” pales in comparison to the “Giant Screw” or the “Illinois Pinheads.”
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:56 pm:
The Illini PCs. Battlecry: OK!
I’ll wait for the half-time Chief Illiniwek streak that you know is coming.
- A.N. Smith - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 4:56 pm:
Hey the Illinois Ears sounds good
But “Jamar’s Car” still has a great ring
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 6:10 pm:
The Whizzers. And the symbol could be an orange and blue con@@@.
- Nostradamus - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 7:10 pm:
How about the “Fighting Trojans” and the team would wear orange and blue prophylactics with the
logo “For the NCAA P—-s”
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 7:30 pm:
I surrender! I am for the Fighting Trojans. It just seems to cover everything important.
- Ted Nugent - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 8:06 pm:
How about the Great White Buffalo? We can use a different Native American symbol.
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 8:26 pm:
And Buffalo Chips as the Symbol . . . or if really fresh they could be the mascot.
- Alum 74 - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 8:50 pm:
Fighting Soybeans
- charlie johnston - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:50 pm:
How about the Swaggering Hacks, school colors blue and red - because when it comes to swag, the hacks in this state go both ways.
- Lakeview Voter - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 9:51 pm:
Ok, this from a UIUC alum:
1) The Wannabe Wolverines (since U of I students seem to be OBSESSED with this imaginary rivalry with Michigan)
2) The women’s teams can be The Future Trixies (since they are all headed to Lincoln Park one day)
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Feb 21, 07 @ 10:20 pm:
How about the flaming hemorhoids or to be less sexist and more PC the Flaming Asteroids!
- Louis Friend - Thursday, Feb 22, 07 @ 2:18 am:
Name: The Fighting Buffalo Bills
Battle Cry: ‘PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!’
- Jechislo - Thursday, Feb 22, 07 @ 7:18 am:
Everyone should read today’s national newspaper column(02/22/07) by Robert Novak. It’s titled “Death of the Chief”. Although I respect Rich Miller immensely, I believe he is totally wrong on the subject of retiring the Chief. This whole fiasco is nothing more than a politically-correct railroading of the Chief into oblivion. Novak said it better than I ever could have.
- frustrated GOP - Thursday, Feb 22, 07 @ 8:44 am:
I same a farmer named Morrow Plots. He can come out at 1/2 time and do a little jig or something.
At competeing big ten games he can bring a gun and shot the rodents. It’s perfect.
Yes I am an alum and miss the cheif but we been hitting ourselves over the head since 1992 on this. The University leadership tried but failed again to do the right thing by forgoing the $$ for the spring announcing the retirement and doing it at the first football season and saying a proper good bye. They kept it forthe money, they dumped it for the money. Same song. So I say Morrow Plots and he drives a big green machine.
- capitol view - Thursday, Feb 22, 07 @ 11:09 am:
I’m always amused when new sports teams pick team names or mascots reflecting the ancient past, such as various dinasours. We’re in the 21st century now - how about a name that reflects space exploration or our new technology?