* Eric Zorn has some flag pledges recited in states across the country. Illinois has no such pledge…
Texas: Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.
Kentucky: I pledge allegiance to the Kentucky flag, and to the Sovereign State for which it stands, one Commonwealth, blessed with diversity, natural wealth, beauty, and grace from on High.
Michigan: I pledge allegiance to the flag of Michigan, and to the state for which it stands, 2 beautiful peninsulas united by a bridge of steel, where equal opportunity and justice to all is our ideal.
Question: Let’s come up with our own state flag pledge. I’ll put the winning entry on a t-shirt that we’ll sell at our charity store and the winner will get one of those shirts for free.
- Carl Nyberg - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:40 am:
State seal on a bed sheet
“Sovereignty” upside down
“Illinois” amended on
I pledge my loyalty to you
- GoBearsss - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:47 am:
I pledge allegiance, to the flag,
of the Great State of Illinois,
From the Great river junction,
to where Lincoln stands,
we are all Cardinals fans.
And from the wind-swept prairies,
to the Lincoln Park Zoo,
we bleed Cubbie blue.
Some of us wear White Sox, too.
With empty pockets,
here we stand,
One State, under Rod,
With Madigan and Emil there, too.
- i d - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:47 am:
I pledge allegiance to Illinois.
Government runs by tricks and ploys.
Chicago’s elitism
Trumps down state’s colloquialism.
All’s well with the good old boys.
- lake county democrat - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:50 am:
It’s impossible to pledege allegiance to Illinois and not revoke the “and to the republic” clause of the national pledge.
- Little Egypt - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:51 am:
I pledge allegiance to Illinois politicians
And to the influence my dollar can buy.
This State’s cup runneth over with corruption,
And that’s a fact no one can deny.
- Levois - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:53 am:
Can my pledge be cynical?
- yinn - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:55 am:
There’s no way I can top GoBearsss with Hastert’s resignation on my mind so I won’t even try.
Still, I can tell that lake county could use some lightening up.
- train111 - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:56 am:
I pledge allegiance to the Illinois flag
and to the politicians that top dollar can buy
To the corruption for which it stands
One cesspool
in the heartland
With favors and payouts for the few.
train111
- Bass Man - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:58 am:
Okay, I can’t resist this one…tongue firmly in cheek:
I pledge allegiance to our state flag; where from Lincoln to Reagan once shagged.
Where our politics are staple at the most vociferous table,
And justice is measured in brown envelop thickness and Governor’s clique-ness, we’ll have liberty and freedom with gall.
- Lefty - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 10:59 am:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the insufferable State of Illinois, and to the Combine who runs the show. One State, under investigation, with liberty and justice for some.
- so-called "Austin Mayor" - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:01 am:
I think we should take our cue from the Open Road Tolling Signs:
I pledge allegiance to the Flag of Illinois, Rod R. Blagojevich, Governor and to the Republic, Rod R. Blagojevich, Governor for which it stands: one Nation under God, indivisible, With Liberty, Justice and Rod R. Blagojevich, Governor for all.
– SCAM
- God's Country - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:03 am:
I pledge allegiance to the Blago,
of the deserted mansion in Springfield,
and to the hairstyle, which never moves,
one mindset, that of Rod’s,
with Elvis impersonators and mammograms for all.
Too snarky?
- Gus Frerotte's Clipboard - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:06 am:
I pledge allegiance to the Illinois flag
And here, take this brown paper bag.
When you open it up
Overfloweth your cup –
Thus, respond when for favors I nag.
- Ghost - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:10 am:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the state of Illinois and to indicted and soon to be indicted goverment officials for which it stands: A state of corruption, under a moment of silence, united in pay to play, with public officials confident that justice shall never touch them, or reform.
- Six Degrees of Separation - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:13 am:
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United State of Chicago
And to the corruption for which it stands
One state under a city, under a Moment of Silence,
Public workers invisible
(or sleeping in their trucks),
With indecent liberties and juice for some.
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:17 am:
I pledge allegiance to Illinois,
even though its run by a little boy.
My state won’t fund my education,
Nor even highway rehabilitation.
The Governor, Senate, and House got raises,
But money for everything else is in stasis.
So the only thing to which I can pledge,
Is blind loyalty to the system of patronage.
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:20 am:
I might change the second line to:
“even though its run by little boys.”
The kids would have to mispronounce Illinois, but everyone else does anyway.
- Jake From Elwood - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:20 am:
I pledge allegience to the Illinois flag, stained with blood, dirt, and jet fuel, it’s still a grand ole’ rag.
- The Curmudgeon - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:22 am:
I pledge allegiance to Illinoize
To the good old girls and the good old boys
Who run this State for a favored few,
And to their family members
Who will succeed them:
I pledge my wallet and my vote,
I pledge my car, I pledge my boat,
I pledge the Cubs’ famed Billy Goat.
I pledge to pay and pay and then
I pledge to pay and pay again.
Amen.
I think Dr. Seuss fits better with the level of political leadership in this state — but I really like Lefty’s concluding line:
“One State, under investigation, with liberty and justice for few.”
- washmyhands - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:26 am:
I pledge allegience to the flag of Illinois and to the embarassing political leadership, most of us can’t stand. One shoe box, full of cash. With tax increases and casino gambling for all.
- irishpirate - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:29 am:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the glorious State of Illinois.
Fewer cows than Wisconsin.
More letters than Iowa.
One more I than Missouri
Lincoln Moved here from Kentucky
More exciting than Indiana
Based on 21 Demographic Factors “The most Average State”
“Hail, Illinois”
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:31 am:
One hint for contestants: I doubt I’ll ever choose anything with the word “Cubs” in it.
- Muskrat - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 11:36 am:
“The amount of $2, or so much of that amount as may be necessary, is appropriated from the General Revenue Fund to the General Assembly for its ordinary and contingent expenses.”
Hey, it’s a work in progress!
- BigDog - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:01 pm:
Taking a slightly different tack and going with a Limerick trio:
I pledge allegiance to Rod
Who fancies himself as a God
Though he has an affinity
For testicular verility,
he can’t win respect from a cod
I pledge allegiance to Mike
Who fights with his peers like a tyke
That his daughter will run
is priority one,
so he must make Rod difficult to like.
I pledge allegiance to Emil
who’s Chicago State ties are …..
Ah screw it! Nobody can rhyme two more words with Emil!!
- GoBearsss - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:07 pm:
Rich,
Some of us would sacrifice not winning in order to have the Cubs in the pledge. Count me among them.
But I put the White Sox in there, too!
- Levois - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:08 pm:
DANG!!! And don’t forget about the Cardinals!
- Bird Man - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:34 pm:
I pledge my allegiance to the state of Illinois, being long on politics and void of policy, and further pledge to never seek a career in Illinois government lest I be absent of sense or pride.
Sad yet undeniably true.
- Ghost - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:35 pm:
I pledge allegiance,
To the flag,
Of the State of Illinois,
And to the influence,
my dollar can buy.
One State, under indictment,
With patornage,
And pay to play for all.
- Just Sayin' - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:37 pm:
Rich,
Can’t we just all agree on Da Bears? Nobody’s a Rams fan anymore, right?
- Paul - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:40 pm:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the Land of Lincoln,
And to the principles for which it stands,
Which includes Lincoln’s adage,
“When the government fears the people,
there is liberty.
When the people fear the government,
there is tyranny.”
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 12:43 pm:
The Bears rule. Who are the Rams?
- 10th Indy - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:00 pm:
I pledge allegiance to Illinois
And the comeuppance we will enjoy
When finally done with bloat and spin
We vote out the bums we voted in.
- Levois - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:00 pm:
I pledge of allegiance to the flag of the state of Illinois which stands for where’s mine.
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:03 pm:
I pledge allegiance to the Illinois flag,
And to the insanity for which it currently stands.
One state,
Under Rod/Emil/Mike (pick ‘em),
Divided by I-80,
With never-ending sessions and indictments for all.
- jerry 101 - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:13 pm:
I pledge allegiance to the Hair
And the corruption for which it stands
One ‘do, under God
For mousse and justice for Rod
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:21 pm:
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the indicted state of Illinois,
And to the nepotism for which it stands.
One state, under Rod’s hair,
Unindivisable,
With patronage and contracts for all who pay to play.
Amen.
- Ivory-billed Woodpecker - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:23 pm:
BigDog, for your consideration –
I pledge allegiance to Emil,
Who knows that pork makes a quite tasty meal.
Together the House and State Senate,
Could override if they would pen it.
But for Emil it is not a done deal.
- Squideshi - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:29 pm:
Does one need be a Christian Socialist, as was the author of the Pledge of Allegiance, in order to win?
Oh! Do we also get to propose a flag salute?
Native Americans once ruled in this land…
Then Spain, England, then Spain did reign…
France, England, then France had domain…
England, Virginia, the United States…
State of Illinois, our Congress creates…
To this flag, my fidelity, heart under hand.
(Based on Chain of Title for Illinois.)
- train111 - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 1:58 pm:
I pledge allegience to the leaders
of this Great State of Illinois
and to the indulgence for which they stand
Each man’s ego over all
where kickbacks and favors abound
train111
- Jaded - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 2:01 pm:
I pledge allegance to the flag
of the politically corrupt state of Illinois,
From stolen elections to cash in a shoebox.
One state, under investigation,
with drivers licences and board appointments for sale.
- GoBearsss - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 2:10 pm:
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the
Great State
Of Illinois.
Capitol Fax, will help us
Understand, the politics and
Belligerence of them all.
Stand together, under
God, with skepticism, suspicion, and
Oversight for all.
- Keep Smiling - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 2:53 pm:
I pledge allegience to Illinois;
Land of proud leaders, blue water and
shining sons.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 2:58 pm:
I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the Land of Lincoln.
And to the system,
in Combine’s hands,
Where something’s really stinkin’.
Plenty of contracts
to go around
For those who have the Clout.
But if you want health care,
or better schools,
You’ll have to go without.
- anonymous - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 3:03 pm:
this goes to the tune of the league song in A League of Their Own
We fly the flag of the great state of Illinois,
We come from cities, Chicago to Cairo
We’ve got politicians who fight
it’s quite a fright,
we’ll kick your ***
we’ll fish for bass,
we’re Illinoisians
- Poli-Sci Geek - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 3:25 pm:
I pledge allegiance,
to the flag of the great state of illinois,
cuz some guy sent me,
to work this ward,
for some guy I don’t know,
so I might, someday, get a job.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 3:27 pm:
I pledge allegience to Illinois,
to whom my wallet is given,
to provide for me from cradle to grave,
politically correct laws on livin.
I pledge allegience to the place,
whose rivers were once guarded by Reagan,
and forces children during moments of silence,
to reconsider why they’re not pagan.
I pledge allegience to the Land,
once called the “Great Land of Lincoln”,
but now is ruled by petty pimps and fools,
and causes me a great deal of drinkin.
I pledge allegience to a State,
thats geographically weird and misshapen,
From Antioch to Cairo and Quincy to Danville,
Overtaxed businesses are constantly escapin’.
I pledge allegience to this home,
A home I adore like no others,
but sadly watch as Democrats have replaced,
Adam Smith’s philosophy with Big Brother’s.
Named after a great tribe of warriors,
Illinois - to whom I am so proudly pledge,
Home of Catalog Kings and Businesses Huge,
A state once renowned as The Cutting Edge.
It is with fear and amusement,
Dan Hynes watches your treasuries collapse,
as pigs to troughs, and flies to manure,
His political brothers fight over your scraps.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 3:31 pm:
and…finally,
One State,
Under Siege,
Torn Assunder
God Help Us All!
- Squideshi - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 3:42 pm:
I dredge a trench hence to the flag
of the hue knighted state of Lincoln
and to the wee public, for witch its tans
one nay shun, in divisible, with Lee Berty
and just ice for all
OR, in an effort to save taxpayer dollars, the “economy” version:
Yo! Illinois.
- Six Degrees of Separation - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 4:01 pm:
Rich,
I see that, true to Illinois tradition, you have stuffed the ballot box with two entries.
Vote early and often!
- unclesam - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 6:30 pm:
I pledge allegence to Illinois,
and to the power of the Three.
And we shall not be done,
till it’s a power of One,
And the only choice is ME!
- unclesam - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 6:31 pm:
Alternative last line:
And you can only vote for Me!
- Shallow Pharnyx - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 6:44 pm:
This is the best question of the day, yet. Great, strong entries- it is going to be tough to decide on a winner!!
- Shallow Pharnyx - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 6:46 pm:
I vote go for the snarkiest.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 8:27 pm:
Coincidentally, Mike Royko sponsored a contest almost exactly 40 years ago to redesign the Seal of the City of Chicago. Here was Royko’s own submission:
The clasped hands represent the true spirit of Chicago friendship - especially when the concrete is being poured.
Under the clasped hands, you see a happy city worker clearing the way for still another city improvement.
And the exploding car in the right hand corner represents the festive spirit of Chicago.
Once we have a new city seal, we will need a new city motto. That I have provided.
The old one is Urbs in Horto (City in a Garden).
The invention of the concrete mixer has made the old motto meaningless.
The new motto - Ubi Est Mea - means “Where’s Mine?”
-Let’s Update City’s Image, Mike Royko, Oct. 27, 1967
Ah, Chicago, where some things never change.
- It's Broken - Thursday, Oct 18, 07 @ 8:34 pm:
I think Rich 1:21 just won a free tee shirt.