On the one hand, I’m for ending free rides.
On the other hand, I’m for keeping free rides.
On the third hand, I was for ending the rides before I was for keeping them.
Of course it’s a good idea to borrow your way out of debt. You know, we’ve made a lot of promises to a lot of people, and eventually they will want to get a check. And when they start calling, we forward those calls to the comptroller’s office. Are you people following me here? The ankle-biters must be contained!
In the words of the great bus driver, Ralph Kramden, “homina homina homina…….”
- Speaking at Will - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:57 pm:
Quinn “Two tears in a bucket….”
- Will County Woman - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:04 pm:
I like a lot of these. But my favorite amongst many favorites is a view from the cheap seats.
“Can someone help me start finding a new job?”
anonymous45, Dan Hynes and 7 or 8 republicans are trying to do just that. I take it you will be supporting Dan Hynes or one of the republicans from now on? ;-)
Whenever I see Quinn on TV, I wonder how long it will be before the consensus on him moves from “He’s a nice guy, but…” to “He’s completely out of his depth”? It’s moving in that direction already, don’tcha think???
On the one hand Carol Adams had an employee who did nothing but drive her, and on the other hand she had another employee who did nothing but drive her.
To All The Promises I’ve Made Before - Nelson, enhanced by VanillaMan
To all the promises I’ve made before
To those who walked in and out my door
I meant it all along
Please don’t get me wrong
My career has made a sharp detour
To those beliefs I once professed
And may I say I’ve held the best
Sometimes it was for show
I owe a lot I know
Especially after Blagojevich confessed
These winds in me are always blowing
And every time I try to say
My bloviating mind starts flowing
And it just carrys me away
To all the supporters who shared my life
Whose back is now feeling my long knife
I’m glad they supported me
To raise every tax and fee
I hope it doesn’t cause too much strife
To voters who will vote for me
I promise a budget ecstasy
I’ll veto all the lines
For I’m smarter than Dan Hynes
He’s just an ankle-biter, you see
The reformer in me is always fighting
And it is still within me
But you know after two terms with Rod
I’m not as reforming as I used to be
To my fellow Democrats who find me a bore
Please stop racing out the door
I know we can solve this
Just give my ring your kiss
If I’ve misspoken, then listen some more
To CapitolFaxBlog guys Bill and Rich
Frankly I’m not sure which is which
I’m not as bad as you think
Let’s get together for a drink
My positions are always open for a switch!
I thought all the best ones had been said. I fell on the floor on that one. I can see PQ now, with that Colonel Blake hat with all the lures stuck thru it bumbling around in the alumicraft while the ankle biter drives the hook into PQ’s heel. What a picture!
“… so I finally reeled it in, and it was this big! I decided that it would be good if someone else experienced the same joy and satisfaction of making a catch like that, so we took out the hook and put it back in the water.”
- Retired State Employee - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 8:49 pm:
I only need $10 billion to get us out of this problem!?!?
- accidentalMan - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:10 pm:
Now that I’m actually Governor, I don’t have a clue what to do!
- Team America - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:10 pm:
What, me worry?
- anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:12 pm:
“Here’s how it works: Left hand flips, right hand flops.”
- Montrose - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:12 pm:
Do you think I would have taken this job if I knew the official Governor’s belt and belt buckle were this big?
- Captain Flume - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:12 pm:
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall.
I really don’t know clouds at all.
- Captain Flume - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:13 pm:
Ooops, thank you Joni Mitchell
- WOW - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:16 pm:
uuuuuugggghhhhhhhh …. I got rainbarrels at the mansion?
- Levois - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:17 pm:
COME ON!!!!
- Anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:18 pm:
Oh Lord, let the rain stop and the cash flow.
- Boscobud - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:22 pm:
Do you think money falls from the sky?
- Anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:23 pm:
As the offering plate approachs remember……
- Red Ranger - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:23 pm:
I got nothin’
- Tex - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:24 pm:
I had a headache… this big…. but then I took Excedrin, and now, it’s gone.
- Louis G. Atsaves - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:24 pm:
Yes, I mean No, I mean Yes, I mean Maybe No, Maybe Yes, Maybe Maybe!
- MrJM - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:26 pm:
“The Aristocrats!”
– MrJM
http://twitter.com/misterjayem
- You Go Boy - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:27 pm:
“I tried being decisive - BAM - I tried being indecisive - BAM - I tried to be both - BAM - I tried to be neither - BAM - You people are impossibe!”
- yipes - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:28 pm:
Whois here for the Love of Ray J?
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:28 pm:
Step one, cut a hole in the podium…
- Anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:29 pm:
Balancing the right and left is really quite easy when you have no idea of what you’re doing.
- quinster - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:33 pm:
On the one hand, I’m for ending free rides.
On the other hand, I’m for keeping free rides.
On the third hand, I was for ending the rides before I was for keeping them.
- Rep. John Fritchey - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:34 pm:
It’s a tie between Montrose and MrJM, and I doubt anybody will beat those two. Let’s call it a day and move on :)
- WhoKnew - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:35 pm:
Honestly folks, I got Nuttin’!
- ABCBoy - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:36 pm:
Blago corrupt? Who knew!?
- Vote Quimby! - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:40 pm:
Of course it’s a good idea to borrow your way out of debt. You know, we’ve made a lot of promises to a lot of people, and eventually they will want to get a check. And when they start calling, we forward those calls to the comptroller’s office. Are you people following me here? The ankle-biters must be contained!
- Obamarama - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:41 pm:
What should we do about the free rides for seniors, hmmm… Where is my magic 8 ball?
- View from the Cheap Seats - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:43 pm:
Can someone help me start finding a new job?
- Anonymous45 - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:48 pm:
“Hey, I’m doing the best that I can…if you can do better pal, have at it”…
- anonny - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:49 pm:
Can ANYONE tell me what I’m doing here?
- MOON - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:49 pm:
For all you doubting Thomas’s, look at the nail holes in my hands. I have crucified, but do not worry, I will rise again!
- dupage dan - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:50 pm:
In the words of the great bus driver, Ralph Kramden, “homina homina homina…….”
- Speaking at Will - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 12:57 pm:
Quinn “Two tears in a bucket….”
- Will County Woman - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:04 pm:
I like a lot of these. But my favorite amongst many favorites is a view from the cheap seats.
“Can someone help me start finding a new job?”
anonymous45, Dan Hynes and 7 or 8 republicans are trying to do just that. I take it you will be supporting Dan Hynes or one of the republicans from now on? ;-)
- dr clean - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:06 pm:
“Andy McKenna says I’m infected with the hair? has he seen the size of my bald spot?”
- Small Town Liberal - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:34 pm:
Quinn struggles to learn the macarena at a recent press conference.
- DuPage Dave - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:46 pm:
Whenever I see Quinn on TV, I wonder how long it will be before the consensus on him moves from “He’s a nice guy, but…” to “He’s completely out of his depth”? It’s moving in that direction already, don’tcha think???
- ahoy - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:52 pm:
Is there a Governor in the room?
- Vote Quimby! - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 1:52 pm:
I’ve studied all the options and the only path we can travel is to invade Missouri. We sail at dawn!
- OdysseusVL - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:02 pm:
“So the move was right out of Blago’s playbook? What’s the big deal?”
But my vote goes to Vote Quimby. Classic.
- Anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:02 pm:
Must … remove … flagpole … embedded … in … shoulder
- RobRoy - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:03 pm:
Montrose - that really made me laugh, what a visual. Thanks
- Dan S, a voter and Cubs Fan - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:04 pm:
No caption needed, look at the performance so far and the picture says it all.
- southside irish - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:05 pm:
so let me get this straight… Carol Adams is taking her driver with her?
- colt 45 - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:06 pm:
governor quinn introduces new flava-flav look to statehouse reporters
- Anonymous - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:11 pm:
On the one hand Carol Adams had an employee who did nothing but drive her, and on the other hand she had another employee who did nothing but drive her.
- this old hack - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:16 pm:
“I never actually thought I’d be GOVERNOR!!!”
- Jimmy87 - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:21 pm:
“Seriously, we can’t squeeze any more eagles or flags into this shot? I said I wanted patriotic, now give me patriotic!”
- afternoon anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 2:52 pm:
“Wadda ya gonna do?”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:01 pm:
To All The Promises I’ve Made Before - Nelson, enhanced by VanillaMan
To all the promises I’ve made before
To those who walked in and out my door
I meant it all along
Please don’t get me wrong
My career has made a sharp detour
To those beliefs I once professed
And may I say I’ve held the best
Sometimes it was for show
I owe a lot I know
Especially after Blagojevich confessed
These winds in me are always blowing
And every time I try to say
My bloviating mind starts flowing
And it just carrys me away
To all the supporters who shared my life
Whose back is now feeling my long knife
I’m glad they supported me
To raise every tax and fee
I hope it doesn’t cause too much strife
To voters who will vote for me
I promise a budget ecstasy
I’ll veto all the lines
For I’m smarter than Dan Hynes
He’s just an ankle-biter, you see
The reformer in me is always fighting
And it is still within me
But you know after two terms with Rod
I’m not as reforming as I used to be
To my fellow Democrats who find me a bore
Please stop racing out the door
I know we can solve this
Just give my ring your kiss
If I’ve misspoken, then listen some more
To CapitolFaxBlog guys Bill and Rich
Frankly I’m not sure which is which
I’m not as bad as you think
Let’s get together for a drink
My positions are always open for a switch!
- A Citizen - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:03 pm:
Govern? Whatever!
- South Side Mike - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:09 pm:
OH NO! Rich Miller is about to ask me a question about free rides for seniors. Where’s Blago’s Wall-O-Children-&-Elderly when I need it?
- Anonymous45 - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:19 pm:
WCW: Just some irony on Friday afternoon after a loooong week…:)
- wordslinger - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:52 pm:
“No, really, it was this big, I had it in the boat, at Shabbona, it was a record Muskie. But then it bit me in the ankle and the next thing I know…”
- zatoichi - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 3:53 pm:
…and my tie is leaning to the left.”
The Disney animatronics engineers put the final vocal touches on the new welcoming display at the Lincoln Museum.
- The Prophet - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:13 pm:
Do we have any parking meters we could sell? Anything?
- Okay Then - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:15 pm:
You people are brutal.
- Old Shepherd - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:17 pm:
Can somebody help me? Something is biting my ankle!
- Anon - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:22 pm:
Ok, what’s it gonna be…. car wash or bake sale?
- dupage dan - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:26 pm:
wordslinger,
I thought all the best ones had been said. I fell on the floor on that one. I can see PQ now, with that Colonel Blake hat with all the lures stuck thru it bumbling around in the alumicraft while the ankle biter drives the hook into PQ’s heel. What a picture!
- Third Generation Chicago Native - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 4:53 pm:
Some reporter stumped him good with a question he could not answer so he froze up.
- unclesam - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 5:20 pm:
Okay people, I’ve lost my kitty. Have you seen my kitty? Really, anyone, have you seen Mr. Montegue Moneybags?
- Perplexed & Perturbed - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 6:54 pm:
“… so I finally reeled it in, and it was this big! I decided that it would be good if someone else experienced the same joy and satisfaction of making a catch like that, so we took out the hook and put it back in the water.”
- Retired State Employee - Friday, Oct 30, 09 @ 8:49 pm:
I only need $10 billion to get us out of this problem!?!?