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*** UPDATED x1 *** Question of the day
Tuesday, Mar 8, 2011 - Posted by Rich Miller * Another state is taking a whack at Illinois…
* The NDA focuses on recruiting business to the Las Vegas region. It’s pretty aggressive about personal and corporate income taxes, of which there are none in that state. *** UPDATE *** The good folks at CBS2 helped me find the Illinois ad online. Watch… * The Question: How is Illinois superior to Las Vegas? Snark is heavily encouraged, of course.
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- Northsider - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:08 am:
Fifty years from now, we’ll still have water.
- just sayin' - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:10 am:
Nevada may have legalized prostitution, but once our politicians are bought they STAY bought.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:13 am:
Who needs casinos when we have the CBOT? You wanna lose lots of money really fast, just go there.
- John Bambenek - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:16 am:
Rich-
I think it was the CBOE where the infamous short-selling catastrophe happened that required fed intervention.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:17 am:
Good point. Double your pleasure!
- MikeMacD - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:20 am:
“You wanna lose lots of money really fast, just go there.”
Futures gains and losses receive favorable tax treatment at the federal level. +1 for Illinois.
- How Ironic - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:21 am:
Come to Nevada. You might not lose your shirt in the casinos, but odds are 1-80 that you will lose your home to forclosure!
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:23 am:
We have fewer Californians moving in.
Our state name is French.
We grow food and have real soil.
You don’t have to pay us to be friendly.
Our vigins are more virginal.
Spray tans are healthier.
No Wayne Newton or Osmond sightings.
No future Charlie Sheen brides.
Our buried bodies rot faster.
Padded vinyl roofs last longer here.
We can still get a thrill at Hooters.
Lower unemployment.
Bigger state capitol.
No Navy Pier at Lake Tahoe.
We have Blagojevich, they have Angle.
Our rivers go somewhere.
We have happier Asian Carp.
Playing cards here won’t bankrupt you.
- Obamarama - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:23 am:
It rarely reaches 120 freaking degrees here.
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:27 am:
“I know Lake Michigan, sir. I grew up with Lake Michigan. I have been around Lake Michigan all my life. And you, Lake Mead, are NO Lake Michigan!”
- amalia - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:27 am:
Nevada, home of fake kitsch….replicas of, well, you name it, Eiffel Tower, Venetian canals, pyramids…..
Illinois, home of real kitsch….Super Dawg, Leaning Tower in front of the Y, the homes of Ed Burke and Ed Vrdolyak….
- Secret Square - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:28 am:
Actually it has NEVER reached 120 degrees here (all time state record high is 117 degrees at ESL in 1954).
- bdrlgion - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:32 am:
Nevada had to import mobsters from our great state to run its town.
- Jasper - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:33 am:
They have Elvis impersonators perform at clubs. We had one perform as Gov.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/09/blago-elvis-impersonation_n_417336.html
- Jellybean - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:33 am:
Come to Vegas the home of Wayne Newton! Massive foreclosure has lowered housing prices to pre WWII prices. If you bring your businesses here, there are plenty of folks looking for jobs, especially in the gaming and adult entertainment industries.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:33 am:
Even though he did some of his best work in Las Vegas, Tony Spilotro never forgot where he came from.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:34 am:
Kirk couldn’t have been saved in Lake Tahoe.
Guys looking like Giannoulias are considered attractive.
No botox widows.
No pizzas in Nevada.
Hot dogs are made with real dogs there.
We have fewer cases of bling blindings.
Our eggs won’t cook on sidewalks.
Our hoboes aren’t as sweaty.
You need a magnifying glass to pop ants here.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:36 am:
Poisonous snakes don’t creep into your hotel room unless you’re dating an alderman.
- hawksfan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:41 am:
No Celine Dion!
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:43 am:
We have fewer transplants and implants.
Our weeds are more lush.
We know how to impeach governors.
Home to migrating birds and neighboring state Democrats.
We don’t get cactus butt here.
We will overtax your income-wait a minute…
We don’t need to have lawn sprinklers.
We gave the US Lincoln, who made Nevada a state.
Out of pity.
- MrJM - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:48 am:
Illinois: More Cheap Trick!
– MrJM
- Responsa - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:48 am:
Our chips are food.
- Small Town Liberal - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:49 am:
As far as I know there isn’t a single person in Illinois whose only job is to sweep up flyers for strip clubs and brothels…
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:51 am:
The only Circus Circus we have is our two Illinois General Assembly chambers.
And no smoking in our casinos (for now).
- Pickles!! - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:52 am:
Our casino’s may not pay out, or you may not get many comps, but at least they are “no smoking!”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:52 am:
We don’t need handicapped parking for Limos.
We have far fewer UFOs.
We have less radioactive fallout.
We have no Area 51. We have Hegewisch and Wolf Lake.
- Bigtwich - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:59 am:
Nevada was settled by pioneers from Chicago. Men with machine guns.
- Chicago Cynic - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 11:59 am:
Our mobsters can kick their mobsters butts! Burying someone in the desert is just sooo much nicer than the trunk of a car or the Chicago river.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:00 pm:
The sky will not fill with a terrible roar and huge bats will not swoop and screech and dive-bomb your convertible as you drive into Chicago.
- WRMNpolitics - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:04 pm:
Our water attractions freeze for 4 months each year, and we can get both sunburn and frostbite in the same year.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:10 pm:
Much harder for them to hide your body in Illinois
Illinois is the home of legislator sanctuary
Our conservative candidates seem less creepy to liberals.
What happens here generally stays here as well unless someone is wearing a wire or has a phone tap.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:12 pm:
Johnny Depp has never made a movie with Chicago in the title
- OneMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:13 pm:
When crime story moved from Chicago to Las Vegas it went down the tubes… Just sayin
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:15 pm:
We don’t share a border with Utah.
Our Hoovers don’t give a dam.
We have fewer scorpions.
We build cars here and they get junked there.
Better fishing here.
Our waitresses don’t need Dept. Public Health certification for their night jobs.
Chicago wasn’t the setting for the movie, “Showgirls”.
Water slides don’t end in cattle troughs here.
They still have a sheepherding career booth at their fairs.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:15 pm:
Illinois - If Howard Hugheschose Illinois, he would have left his hotel room!
Illinois - We only have Blago as our Horrible Elvis impersonator.
Illinois - We don’t need a Mob Museum, see them in their natural habitat … today!
Illinois - The 1st Wild West of Corruption!
Illinois - Where “double down” actually means something totally different.
Illinois - Where your bones are made, while they were with the cheerleaders.
Illinois - Where the cannolis are left … every day.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:18 pm:
Nevada? For real?
Let’s see.
Illinois, blessed by geography and geology, is a diverse, multi-faceted state whose economy, culture and people are most reflective of the country than any other state.
Nevada is mostly worthless desert with 86% of its land owned by the federal government. It was deemed the only area in the United States worthless enough to test nuclear weapons. It’s economy consists of gambling, strip clubs and prostitution.
Nevada should save it ad dollars and just throw up a couple of billboards on Mannheim Road south of O’Hare to attract business.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:19 pm:
C’mere, Vegas. You’re gettin’ too big on me. Go home and get your shine box.
- Secret Square - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:21 pm:
Where did the Darkman, Randall Flagg, in Stephen King’s “The Stand” decide to establish his axis of evil — Chicago or Vegas? I rest my case.
- jdeb - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:25 pm:
No one has ever chosen to explode atomic bombs on the surface of our state, nor has the govt tried to make our state the repository for the rest of America’s nuclear waste (although they did want to give us those detainees).
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:25 pm:
You will never have to say these words in Illinois…
“Order some golf shoes,” I whispered. “Otherwise, we’ll never got out of this place alive…”
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:28 pm:
And we have no lizards in our hotel elevators. Unless, again, you’re dating an alderman.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:29 pm:
Illinois - When Nevada needs permission, they look to the Land of Lincoln … or else.
Illinois - When Illinois wants to “take care of something” why make a mess at home?
Nevada - Illinois without the “juice”
Illinois - One place Michael Corelone couln’t buy you out.
- WRMNpolitics - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:30 pm:
Vegas gets little if any precipitation, we get to shovel ours!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:39 pm:
Illinois - Sinatra never sang about you!
Nevada - Elvis sang about us … Which “Elvis” is the question.
Nevada - Only New Jersey wants to be like us.
Illinois - Where Ferris made “Danke Schone” Cool!
- WRMNpolitics - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:42 pm:
Nevada has legalized prostitution, but Illinois has more practitioners of the world’s oldest profession-Politicians.
- Jellybean - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:48 pm:
Rich, that golf shoe thing is true about Arizona too.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:48 pm:
Brady would have easily won the governorship there.
Quinn would be a bad lounge singer in Elko there.
Michael Madigan would be a Republican there.
Our Swedish meatballs aren’t frozen.
I would be living in a lonely single wide trailer two miles from a road, shooting at giant ants with James Arness and driving a 1958 DeSoto convertible away from Monolith Monsters. But here, I drive a Rambler and fight off the giant grasshoppers climbing my apartment and scaring my wife while she bathes. Completely different b/w sci-fi lives.
No White Sox in Nevada.
No professional teams!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:51 pm:
Nevada - Where Illinois’ bad ideas go.
Nevada - “Imported” mobsters and not “home grown” mobsters, like in … Illinois.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 12:53 pm:
Jellybean, I wouldn’t know. HST never wrote a book about Arizona.
- Reality - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:07 pm:
uhhhh…it’s not.
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:08 pm:
We keep our atoms under tight control here and make them generate electricity. We would never let them run wild.
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:14 pm:
–Illinois - Sinatra never sang about you!–
Sacrilege, Willy.
Francis Albert, of course, is renowned for “My Kind of Town” (introduced in “Robin and the Seven Hoods” featuring The Rat Pack and Bing Crosby) and “Chicago (That Toddlin Town).”
As penance, my son, five Hail Mary’s and listen to “Lake Shore Drive” by Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah ten times straight. Now go sin no more.
- Knome Sane - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:15 pm:
Who needs Vegas? We have Northwestern University! What happens in Evanston stays in Evanston…..
- ANON - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:16 pm:
You have to go through all the trouble of digging a hole to hide a body outside of Vegas. Chicago has a river and great lake to dump them in. Much more convenient.
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:18 pm:
There are plenty of cheap (and vacant) homes in Vegas. Don’t look at it as an absence of customers, but rather opportunity for new customers.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:19 pm:
word -
That was TO Nevada - stating Nevada was never worth singing about, like Chicago!
I will do the penance for not being too clear …
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:20 pm:
The grass is always green in Vegas, though much of it has been spray painted that way so that homes look occupied and maintained.
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:22 pm:
No, those partially constructed casinos were not placed there for urban combat training in s simulated war zone.
- 10th Indy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:22 pm:
We don’t need ether to make us behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel…
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:24 pm:
Leaving Las Vegas . . . it isn’t just a song.
- L.S. - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:25 pm:
We only go to loan sharks if we have to pay the pension bill.
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:27 pm:
Vegas: Where the sun is hot and the economy’s not.
- Not So Quick . . . - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:27 pm:
Nobody leaves Vegas a winner.
- Irish - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:29 pm:
Illinois -
We have a color here called green. And it is not only found on money.
Only our politicians are fake.
Our soil is black, but our budgets aren’t.
It’s safer here. Our vipers and scorpions are usually preceded by political speeches and requests for donations. You have time to get out of the way.
- Ahoy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:32 pm:
We have adequate water supply?
- 10th Indy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:36 pm:
HST never said this about Vegas “Back to Chicago; it’s never dull out there. You never know exactly what kind of terrible sh*t is going to come down on you in that town, but you can always count on *something*. Every time I go to Chicago I come away with scars.”
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:36 pm:
The Nevada state insect is the “vivid dancer damselfly”, while we rock the old school monarch butterfly.
Even the state insect name sounds sleazier.
- Boone Logan Square - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:42 pm:
Fifty days from now, we’ll still have water.
Chicago has two airports that are easier and faster to use than Las Vegas does. (We’d have three if Meigs Field still existed.)
No Illinois governors were accused of rape anytime in the past decade. How hard is it to make Illinois governors look like paragons of virtue?
Mass transit in Chicago is not a fleet of taxis.
While Illinois would be populated without incredible federal subsidies and infrastructure, we don’t demonize the federal government.
- jerry 101 - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:49 pm:
Illinois has nuclear power plants. Nevada has nuclear waste.
Las Vegas was built by Illinois mobsters.
We have water. Nevada has sand.
Unfortunately for us, Las Vegas is where you go to find the American Dream.
On the other hand, if you find the American Dream, it’s likely that the banks will take it all away in a foreclosure auction.
Illinois has professional sports teams in the NBA, the NHL, the NFL, MLB (2 of ‘em), amongst others.
Nevada has professional sports teams in the NBAD-League, the ECHL, the UFL (united football league), and the PCL, amongst others. Oh, and UNLV.
Illinois has world class universities - University of Chicago, Northwestern University, the University of Illinois, amongst others.
Nevada has ‘universities’ and community colleges - UNLV, Nevada-Reno, Truckee-Meadows, Great Basin.
Illinois has internationally regarded research institutions like Fermi Lab, which has one of the world’s largest particle accelerators. Nevada has the Desert Research Institute, which spends its time on cloud-seeding projects.
Tallest building in Illinois - The Sears Tower at 1451 feet.
Tallest building in Nevada - The Palazzo at 642 feet.
Did I mention that Illinois has water?
- ANON - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:51 pm:
==No Illinois governors were accused of rape anytime in the past decade.==
Well, that depends on your definition of “rape”
- ANON - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:03 pm:
==Tallest building in Nevada - The Palazzo at 642 feet.==
You mean besides the 1,150 foot Stratoshpere
- BIG R. Ph - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:12 pm:
We have humidity
- ArchPundit - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:36 pm:
- Ahoy - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 1:32 pm:
- We have adequate water supply?
Bingo–water will get very expensive in Vegas eventually. Unless California falls into the ocean.
- D.P. Gumby - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:41 pm:
Nevada——losts of losers
Illinois—-the biggest losers…Go Cubs!
- D.P. Gumby - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:41 pm:
that’s “lots” of losers
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 2:44 pm:
lllinois — where the world’s foremost scientists harnessed the power of the atom.
Nevada — where they went to watch it get blowed up real good.
- Beholden - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 3:01 pm:
Because we (and the Feds) readily acknowledge that the Illinois games are rigged before you and the Mrs. get here? I mean, we have to get some points for candor, don’t we? Nevada tries to keep it “hush-hush” with their slogan “What happens here, stays here”. Ours is “What happens here is so pervasive that we can’t hide it anymore”.
In Illinois, trying to hide the corruption that happens here would be tantamount to trying to camouflage the Great Wall of China. Maybe we should flaunt it for the tourism it (and Saturday Night Live skits) might provide to help our dying economy. It might even attract tourists to Illinois from Chris Christie’s New Jersey?
- Casual Observer - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 3:19 pm:
Nevada - It’s a dry heat
Illinois - We’ll take any heat
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 4:38 pm:
All you guys have is sandstorms, we have THUNDERSNOW! We don’t need slot machines, we have parking meters! We didn’t need casino bosses squeezing money from working people, we had Todd Stroger!
- baltbear - Tuesday, Mar 8, 11 @ 5:55 pm:
if vegas could paint 38 numbers on the tevatron, it would pay to move fermi labs and style it
super-roulette.
which is more than illinois is offering.