SUBSCRIBE to Capitol Fax      Advertise Here      Mobile Version     Exclusive Subscriber Content     Updated Posts    Contact
CapitolFax.com
To subscribe to Capitol Fax, click here.
Question of the day

Friday, Mar 30, 2012

* How about you “help” this Saturday’s roasters by suggesting a joke about either myself or one of our panelists? The panelist list is here.

Have at it, but keep it clean and do your best to make sure your comments are funny.

- Posted by Rich Miller        


49 Comments
  1. - just sayin' - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 10:03 am:

    I don’t have a joke, but just a random fyi Rich. M.C. Hammer is 50 today.


  2. - anon - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 10:29 am:

    Your headline, “Dead Cat Bounce” and post about a rise in Quinn’s poll numbers prior to the election. If someone can’t make a joke out to that they are not really trying


  3. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 10:32 am:

    Have you seen the new Rich Miller Bobblehead?

    You can find it here.


  4. - Outsider looking in - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 10:39 am:

    Beyond his political reporting, Rich is probably best known for his beard. Thankfully, she is here tonight…give it up for his lovely wife!


  5. - unclesam - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:22 am:

    Apparantly Rich Miller used the same standard for the dias that is used at Great America — you have to be at least four feet tall to participate!


  6. - John A Logan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:25 am:

    I would like to introduce the man who gives us all daily insight into what is really going on in the state house. But since he isn’t here, I would like to introduce Rich Miller!

    Rich Miller. When I think of him I think of great product roll outs. New Coke, The Chevy Nova in Mexico, and The NEW Capitol Fax.


  7. - Small Town Liberal - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:28 am:

    - Rich Miller. When I think of him I think of great product roll outs. New Coke, The Chevy Nova in Mexico, and The NEW Capitol Fax. -

    LOL


  8. - John A Logan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:34 am:

    Why is Rich Millers Boat on Lake Springfield have a glass bottom? So he can see his last 8 boats.


  9. - Stones - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:35 am:

    What is more likely to happen first - U of I winning an NCAA Mens bball Championship or Rich Miller shaving off his facial hair? Winner gets a free ticket to Rich’s 100th birthday party celebration.


  10. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:44 am:

    Speaker Madigan is responsible for the food tonight so using the same method they use for budgeting they gave Pat Quinn 40 pounds of beef and some carrots and told him to figure it out.


  11. - Retired Non-Union Guy - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:45 am:

    There’s got to be a gag line somewhere in that “larger than life” AARP card.

    Maybe someone can whip up revised “Rich Miller specific” lyrics to the AARP parody done by Phil Dirt and the Dozers ?


  12. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:50 am:

    “I’d like to thank the state’s top political power brokers for serving on tonight’s panel, and Governor Quinn for valeting our cars.”

    “Please tip Pat generously, the state budget needs all the help it can get.”


  13. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:54 am:

    Carol Marin: “I know Rich is hoping to get a closer look at my tattoo. Sorry Rich: you must be 42 inches tall to ride this ride.”


  14. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 11:58 am:

    It turns out Steve Brown will be doing most of Mike Madigans speaking tonight…

    As a look at this dais one thing comes to mind, thank goodness the folks at the Illinois Review have not perfected their death ray yet.

    Will everyone who is not a lobbyist or elected official please raise their hand. Thanks for coming dad….

    As part of our entertainment later the folks from ComEd and the folks behind the Talyorville Energy Plant will be acting out the fight scene from West Side Story

    Later we will be taking a collection to send Rod a CapFax subscription.


  15. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:05 pm:

    The devil appeared bfore a Lutheran that just turned 50 years old. The devil said,”do you know who I am?” The Lutheran said, “Yeah, you’re the devil.” The devil said,”Aren’t you afraid of me?” The Lutheran said, “No. Why should I be afraid of you? I have been married to your sister for 25 years! She’s the one I’m afraid of.”


  16. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:05 pm:

    Also for attending tonight you all get a copy of Rich’s new book…

    What Do You F*&! Mean I Can’t Smoke Here Anymore: A guide to Springfield’s bars, taverns, social clubs and all night liquor stores.

    We put Aaron Jaffe in charge of tonight’s musical entertainment so come back in 2018 to hear Cheap Trick. Actually that is a joke Aaron Jaffe isn’t here tonight because he heard the final four is going on and since that might involve gambling he has to hide at home until it’s over…


  17. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:06 pm:

    One large order of bad clams and the states pension problem could be solved…


  18. - OurMagician - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:07 pm:

    Taking one look at Rich tells me jogging is something he doesn’t do. I say good for you, because bad things happen when you jog.

    Signed-
    40892-424


  19. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:20 pm:

    “There’s plenty of chicken and pasta, so help yourselves to seconds.

    If you want pork, you’ll have to talk to the Speaker.”


  20. - Irish - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:29 pm:

    Carol Marin to Rich - “Why is it that when the Dem roasters speak their mouths don’t match the words we hear?”

    Voice sounding very much like MJM’s, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I am the great OZ.”


  21. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:34 pm:

    “A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.”

    Nuff said.


  22. - Irish - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:35 pm:

    Cullerton - “We had more speakers planned for tonite but when Rich heard what they were going to say he threatened to Ban Them for Life.”


  23. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:39 pm:

    Wow, 50 years old. So Rich was what, like 6 when you became speaker Mike?

    So 50, we did some research on what some of tonight’s presenters were up to 50 years ago, turns out Judy was touring with her accordion band.

    Senator Trotter, love the new district. Who would have thought you be representing the deep south… Just for reference the deep south to Senator Trotter starts at 159th


  24. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:39 pm:

    Speaker Madigan: “On a more serious note, in response to their complaints that legislative redistricting unfairly discriminates against the GOP, I’ve introduced legislation to amend Illinois’ Human Rights Act to declare Republicans a protected class.

    With that, I’ll turn the mike over to Assistant Leader for the Mentally Challenged Skip Saviano.”


  25. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:41 pm:

    Lisa Madigan: “You can stop running Carol…I didn’t bring the dogs.”


  26. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:42 pm:

    Also in everyone’s goody bags there is a Rich Miller key chain, squeeze it’s head and it says “Bite Me”…

    Little known fact, the entity that is seeing the most financial impact from electric grid moderinzation and new power plants after the lobsters is Rich…


  27. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:43 pm:

    Rep Smith would have been here, but he spent $200 on some magic beans….


  28. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:50 pm:

    For the sporting GOPers in the audience, you can still participate in the $5 straw poll to determine whether Rich will exit tonight through the kitchen in an extreme hurry and who the GOP nominee will be.


  29. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:59 pm:

    Please ignore that crazy man outside yelling combine , combine, combine… It’s just John Kass


  30. - Judgment Day - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:01 pm:

    “Why is Rich Millers Boat on Lake Springfield have a glass bottom? So he can see his last 8 boats.”

    That won’t happen with this new boat. Rich has lost weight, REALLY! Just gaze upon that trim, svelte buff physique that is the new Rich Miller….

    Ok, so maybe that wasn’t such a good idea….


  31. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:06 pm:

    So if you ever wondered what Rick does with all that subscription money besides spending it on beard wax… It can now be told, he is building an underwater lair in Lake Springfield sort of like that guy in The Spy Who Loved Me.


  32. - spring - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:10 pm:

    paul green; “this dias represents at least 7 million in unfunded pensions & a tatooed red head”


  33. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:13 pm:

    To keep up his appearances, Rich was going to work on developing “eggplant” abs this year. However, Aaron Schock couldn’t stand the thought of having to compete with Rich, so he bought out all the P90X videos.


  34. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:13 pm:

    Most of you know that Rich is a big music fan. But here’s something you probably didn’t know: he moonlights on bass for a tribute band.

    Perhaps you’ve heard of the group. ZZ Miller.


  35. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:38 pm:

    Scott Lee Cohen wasn’t sure if he was going to come or not, so he ended up at MacDonalds down the street.


  36. - unclesam - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:44 pm:

    Rich: I’m glad to see that Katt Williams’ dad could be here tonight, thank you Donne!

    Skip: Rich originally asked me to cook for this event, but I told him I only do funerals…so enjoy the cannoli!


  37. - Team Sleep - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:47 pm:

    “I went to D.H. Brown’s for some popcorn but got there and it was all stuck to Rich’s beard.”

    And Rich - that’s a beard joke. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t make “weighty” jokes. :)


  38. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:55 pm:

    Rich: “I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank Speaker Madigan for helping me get this media empire started back in the day as my first subscriber.

    Those CapStoneTablets were hell to deliver though.”


  39. - wordslinger - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 1:55 pm:

    Pat Fitzgerald was not invited, so if you see him here, someone is in a lot of trouble.


  40. - reformer - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 2:20 pm:

    Did you know that Rich has a book? I looked it up on Amazon, and it said people who bought his book also bought a rope and a stool!

    Politics is an ugly business. I mean, look at Rich!

    His greatest admirer is his wife’s husband!

    He represents the working people. He’ll do anything for the working man — except be one!


  41. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 2:35 pm:

    Mr. Green: are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Green Party?


  42. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 2:55 pm:

    You know it is my birthday so there are a few things I get to do…

    Hey Mike, hate to be the one who tells you this but it turns out it Jack Roser was the lone winner of the big game…

    Just kidding, if I wanted to mess with anyone with that it would be Tom Cross..

    Actually SLC won it.


  43. - Tatler - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 3:08 pm:

    Two words: “Bite me.”


  44. - Small Town Liberal - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 3:15 pm:

    JBT - First of all, I just want to thank Rich for the minimal security on his fax password, you know my fondness for second hand things.

    Speaker Madigan - I’m glad we have all of the legislative leaders here. What? Yes, I’m aware Leader Cross isn’t here. In case you hadn’t noticed it’s more of a ceremonial title in the House. I mean, the weather is nice, why keep him from his real job as an amateur golfer anyway?

    Cullerton - I spoke to the Governor earlier, he’s sorry he couldn’t make it but he wanted me to pass along a statement. Unfortunately he didn’t have anything prepared and asked me to take down some notes. I did my best but after 6 minutes my hand got tired and I walked away. He mentioned Lincoln, Gold Star Families, and I think maybe bald eagles. Anyway he sends his best, Rich.


  45. - Downstate - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 3:25 pm:

    True story - (I believe Rich can verify)
    Rich was briefly a member of the Blagojevich team, when on the Governor’s downstate tour, Rich was mistaken as Blago’s bus driver!


  46. - dupage dan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 3:58 pm:

    From all who post who are against the legalization of pot to you, Rich the “token spokesman” Miller, this bud’s for you.


  47. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 4:16 pm:

    Everyone knows that what a certain Illinois Review reader posted about Rich Miller NOT being a friend of Republicans is utter nonsense.

    For example, Rich was adamant about making sure that no one here today mentioned 1) the campaign commercial in which Peter Roskam appeared in Speedos, 2) Aaron Schock’s claims that his contributors throw their daughters at him all the time (after which Aaron allegedly replied “Ouch!”), 3) nor the controversy over whether Mr. Kirk barely escaped from a diplomatic meeting he was hosting for the Romulans and Klingons in the Alpha Sector between costume changes while performing a “stunning” phaser dance.

    To be clear, we know he performed the dance while hosting that specific meeting in the Alpha Sector. We’re just uncertain as to whether he escaped during costume changes or immediately after the first dance…and, of course, Rich–who is a good friend of all Republicans–will not allow us to discuss this here tonight…

    …or on his blog…ever…or in the past…or ever again…or ever before.


  48. - OneMan - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 4:19 pm:

    As every CapFax intern learns…

    When the going gets weird the weird turn pro..


  49. - Jeff Trigg - Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 4:38 pm:

    As a public service, I’d like to remind everyone that dead voters are now off limits for any other activities.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


* Reader comments closed until Monday
* TrackBill update
* Caption contest!
* It's worse than we thought
* Question of the day
* Long-term debt is not short-term debt
* Today's quotable
* Yesterday's blog posts

Support CapitolFax.com
Visit our advertisers...

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............

...............


Search This Blog...

Search the 98th General Assembly By Bill Number
(example: HB0001)

Search the 98th General Assembly By Keyword

          
        * iPhone 6s sapphire, GS5 Lollipop, Tablet decline & more – Pocketnow Daily
        * President Obama Signs E-Label Act, Companies No Longer Required to Etch FCC Labels on Devices
        * NVIDIA SHIELD Tablet LTE Lollipop upgrade lands on devices
        * Black Friday and Cyber Monday: here’s what’s going down
        * Enjoy Connection Day with Verizon and Amazon
        * NVIDIA’s LTE-capable SHIELD Tablet is now getting Lollipop
        * Three new Windows Phones in the works claim reports

        * iPhone 5c Could Be Discontinued
        * Road Warriors Would Love The Trunkster Suitcase
        * New Asus Ultrabook Spotted At The FCC
        * Pokemon Omega Ruby & Alpha Sapphire Sells Well
        * LG KizOn Released In The US
        * Ronald Wayne Auctions Off Private Document Collection
        * GoPro Said To Develop Consumer Drones

        * White Sox ACE program helps send players to college
        * Additional 2005 fan-favorite players added to '15 SoxFest
        * White Sox introduce Adam LaRoche and their plans for him
        * White Sox plan for contention a work in progress
        * White Sox officially announce LaRoche deal
        * Red Sox seize offseason driver's seat with signings
        * White Sox officially announce LaRoche deal

        ...............


        Main Menu
        Home
        Illinois
        YouTube
        Pundit rankings
        Obama
        Subscriber Content
        Durbin
        Burris
        Blagojevich Trial
        Advertising
        Updated Posts
        Polls

        Archives
        November 2014
        October 2014
        September 2014
        August 2014
        July 2014
        June 2014
        May 2014
        April 2014
        March 2014
        February 2014
        January 2014
        December 2013
        November 2013
        October 2013
        September 2013
        August 2013
        July 2013
        June 2013
        May 2013
        April 2013
        March 2013
        February 2013
        January 2013
        December 2012
        November 2012
        October 2012
        September 2012
        August 2012
        July 2012
        June 2012
        May 2012
        April 2012
        March 2012
        February 2012
        January 2012
        December 2011
        November 2011
        October 2011
        September 2011
        August 2011
        July 2011
        June 2011
        May 2011
        April 2011
        March 2011
        February 2011
        January 2011
        December 2010
        November 2010
        October 2010
        September 2010
        August 2010
        July 2010
        June 2010
        May 2010
        April 2010
        March 2010
        February 2010
        January 2010
        December 2009
        November 2009
        October 2009
        September 2009
        August 2009
        July 2009
        June 2009
        May 2009
        April 2009
        March 2009
        February 2009
        January 2009
        December 2008
        November 2008
        October 2008
        September 2008
        August 2008
        July 2008
        June 2008
        May 2008
        April 2008
        March 2008
        February 2008
        January 2008
        December 2007
        November 2007
        October 2007
        September 2007
        August 2007
        July 2007
        June 2007
        May 2007
        April 2007
        March 2007
        February 2007
        January 2007
        December 2006
        November 2006
        October 2006
        September 2006
        August 2006
        July 2006
        June 2006
        May 2006
        April 2006
        March 2006
        February 2006
        January 2006
        December 2005
        April 2005
        March 2005
        February 2005
        January 2005
        December 2004
        November 2004
        October 2004

        Blog*Spot Archives
        November 2005
        October 2005
        September 2005
        August 2005
        July 2005
        June 2005
        May 2005

        Syndication

        RSS Feed 2.0
        Comments RSS 2.0
        WordPress

        Loading


        * Illinois Asks State's Top Court To Revive Pensi.....
        * Illinois AG files notice of appeal in pension case..
        * Clemency for man wrongfully jailed for 1991 murder..
        * Rauner asks state agencies to prepare for the w.....


        * Clemency for man wrongfully jailed for 1991 murder
        * Illinois doctor fined over medical marijuana slip
        * Archbishop praises Obama's action on immigration
        * Firefighters rescue 4 boa constrictors from fire
        * Illinois AG files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Holiday travelers greeted by cheap gas, storms
        * Wrigley Field bleacher renovation may be delayed
        * Jobless rate falls in all 12 Illinois metro areas
        * New Lincoln museum exhibit has bed where he died
        * Illinois gives $4.5M food banks for modernization

        * Illinois attorney general files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Quinn grants clemency to 126 ahead of holiday
        * Illinois gives $4.5M food banks for modernization
        * State begins accepting fracking applications
        * Debt rating agencies weigh in on state pension ruling
        * Lisa Madigan to ask Illinois Supreme Court to consider pensions
        * Rauner tackles transition agenda
        * Attorney general warns of immigration scams
        * State pension changes ruled unconstitutional; appeal to Illinois Supreme Court next
        * State to refund $60 million in retiree health care money

        * Most BP oil spill claims handled correctly, McGladrey says
        * Illinois AG Madigan files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Congressmen sound alarm over anti-Asian Carp move
        * Motorola Mobility loses bid to extend antitrust law reach
        * Chicago business activity is growing—but at a slower pace


        * Charity event looks like turkey tokenism
        * Decatur Classical parents want to expand into old Stewart building
        * Cupich: More must be done to ‘repair our broken immigration system’
        * Norman Schoer, viola player with Grant Park Orchestra and Lyric Opera, dies at 103
        * Charity event looks like turkey tokenism
        * Lisa Madigan appeals ruling that KOed pension law
        * Lisa Madigan appeals ruling that KO'd pension law
        * Chicago’s overnight parking ban begins Monday
        * At least five cold-related deaths reported in Cook County
        * Release Koschman grand jury records


        * 3 Ferguson-related protesters arrested in Chicago
        * Oak Lawn insurer wants out of $3M award in cop shooting
        * Judge reassigned after failing to follow contempt rules, officials say
        * 5 hurt in separate city shootings
        * Crash-and-grab burglars hitting high-end stores in suburbs and Chicago
        * Cupich calls Obama action on immigration a 'first step'
        * Quinn pardons 126, including 1 of Dixmoor Five
        * New dog-friendly park coming to South Loop
        * Island Lake cops recount helping at scene where 2 deputies were shot
        * School lunch sales rise in district that rejected health guidelines


        * Let's Talk Kids - "Love Is Love"
        * LLCC Offers Variety Of Community Education Classes
        * Incoming U of I President Speaks To Springfield Audience
        * Another Year Of "Messiah" For Springfield Choral Society
        * Fumée Gypsy Project Plays At WUIS
        * New Exhibit On Lincoln's "Undying Words"
        * Locals Organize For Vigil In Response To Ferguson
        * Illinois Hunters Kill 52,000 Deer Over The Weekend
        * Pension Ruling "Credit Negative," But No Ratings Change
        * Tim Landis: Foreclosure Sales, CIPS Icehouse and Heritage River Trail


        * Our Opinion: Help combat hunger this holiday season
        * Eugene Robinson: On replacement, caution urged
        * George Will: Thanks, or something
        * Quote of the Day: Nov. 27, 2014
        * Illinois attorney general files notice of appeal in pension case
        * Quinn grants clemency to 126 ahead of holiday
        * Illinois gives $4.5M food banks for modernization
        * Michael Gerson: The big ‘but’ on immigration
        * Quote of the Day: Nov. 26, 2014
        * State begins accepting fracking applications


        * Paul Williams Sr.
        * Elesa Ballard
        * Dalla Underhile
        * Mia Bily
        * Wilma Kennedy
        * Boyd Poirier
        * Essie Moody
        * Arthur Foulks
        * Doris McGhee
        * Virginia Ellis


        * Girls basketball scoreboard: Wednesday's results
        * Wrestling scoreboard: Wedneesday's results
        * Boys basketball: Wednesday's results
        * Girls gymnastics: Wednesday's results
        * Blackhawks stop Avalanche with late goal in 3-2 win

        * Illinois Republican Mike Bost, Newly Elect...
        * Dold the winner in IL 10th CD
        * Bost thanking voters day after historic wi...
        * Durbin wins 4th term; GOP seeks more House...
        * Mike Bost Defeats Bill Enyart In Illinois ...
        * GOP's Bob Dold wins rematch over Democrat ...
        * Bost unseats Enyart in Ill. District 12
        * GOP's Dold wins rematch over Democrat Schn...
        * Voice of the Reader: Mike Bost: Childish?
        * Republican Regains Former House Seat In Il...

        * St. Marys Cement considers reopening in Dixon...
        * U.S. Senators Urge Uzbek President To Rele......

        * Obama headed for defeat on Iran sanctions...

        * We're Grateful To Live In Uptown, And For You
        * Will Thanksgiving meal someday come at shopping mall food court?
        * No TIF Funds Will Be Used If Stewart School Reopens As Decatur
        * Some Lakefront Park Closures Thanksgiving Morning
        * The Better Government Association continues to spread the lie about public employee pensions.
        * In Chicago the race is on. It’s easy as ABC.
        * No justice.
        * Be like Martin Luther King.
        * Bruce still hasn’t gotten it right. Pardon who?
        * Tweeting #FergusonInClass


        * Governor Quinn Announces Investment to Help Regional Food Banks Better Serve Those in Need - Governor’s Investment Will Ensure Lower Cost and Higher Efficiency for Services Reaching Nearly 2 Million Illinois Residents
        * Governor Pat Quinn Takes Clemency Action
        * Governor Quinn Statement on Abner Mikva Receiving Nation’s Highest Civilian Honor
        * Department of Insurance Announces Multi-State Settlement with Symetra Life Insurance and Symetra National Life Insurance Company - Illinois will share part of a $1.2 million penalty against Symetra Life regarding Life Insurance policies
        * Avoid Foodborne Illness This Holiday Season




            Hosted by MCS SUBSCRIBE to Capitol Fax Advertise Here Mobile Version Contact Rich Miller