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Quote of the month: “Thankfully I screamed so hard it scared the other cows off”

Friday, Aug 31, 2012

* From the AP

State Rep. Rich Morthland is recovering from surgery after an encounter with a cow left him with a knee injury.

The Cordova Republican says the injury happened Thursday when a cow trying to bolt through a gate smashed its head into his knee. […]

Morthland says doctors told him a tendon in his knee was severely damaged. He’ll need to immobilize his leg for six weeks and follow that with physical therapy, but he’s expected to make a full recovery.

* And here’s the quote….

Speaking from his hospital bed at Genesis Medical Center in Silvis, Rep. Morthland said the injury happened early Thursday morning when a cow trying to bolt through a gate “smashed its head into my knee.

“Thankfully I screamed so hard it scared the other cows off, and I managed to close the gate,” he said. “I couldn’t get up and I had to drag myself 100 yards to my car.”

Rep. Morthland said he managed to get in the car and drive the mile to his house where he honked the horn to alert his wife Betsey, who drove him to the hospital.

“I smelled like crap,” Rep. Morthland said jokingly.

That last line is our runner-up.

I wish Rep. Morthland a speedy recovery, and I hope he’s not in too much pain. But I would also like to thank him for giving attendees to my little dinner party such a hearty laugh last night when I read the story aloud to them.

“Thankfully I screamed so hard it scared the other cows off.”


- Posted by Rich Miller        

  1. - wordslinger - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 11:30 am:

    When I was a kid, we used to rent a pen to fatten up cattle for fall slaughter. They were pretty docile, but they were also so dumb they would just as soon stomp all over you — or smash you against a fence post.

  2. - Rich Miller - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 11:32 am:

    “Help! I’ve been knocked down by a cow and I can’t get up!”

  3. - Anonymous - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 11:35 am:

    I don’t know if I would have worded it “an encounter with a cow.”

  4. - Judgment Day - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 11:37 am:

    “When Cows Attack…”

    (The youtube video is of a news report about 2 cows loose on Ohio State’s campus).

    Can understand why he said what he did. When you’re on the ground, the last thing you want is to be trampled by 800 to 1,000 Lb. cows.

  5. - Anonymous - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 11:56 am:

    “Thankfully I screamed so hard it scared the other cows off…”

    I think Jonathon Brandmeir had that line in a song … about cows … and how he ‘cared’ for them …

  6. - (Not) Mike Jacobs - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:04 pm:

    I was gonna hit him again, but that scream…

  7. - 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:10 pm:

    The only place I have seen cows in my younger years was at the Lincoln Park Zoo farm exhibit.

    A few years ago I was at the Illinois State Fair, and I touched a calf because my son wanted to, and the owner told him go ahead.

    Other than that most people born and raised in a city don’t go near cows, but this is one more reason to.

  8. - Cincinnatus - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:13 pm:

    Was the cow free range?

    I also heard that Rep. Morthland’s BBQ fundraiser has been pulled up a couple of weeks…

  9. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:14 pm:

    Thankfully I screamed so hard it scared the other cows off…”

    I think Jonathon Brandmeir had that line in a song … about cows … and how he ‘cared’ for them …

    Sorry, that was me … stupid laptop

  10. - wordslinger - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:16 pm:

    It could get a lot rougher back in the day before widespread use of artificial insemination.

    My uncle back in the old country was a dairy farmer and he still believed in the bull-in-field method of doing business.

    When it was time for the bull to go to work in the next field, that often involved chains, a tractor and one angry bull.

  11. - Boone Logan Square - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:24 pm:

    Once Rep. Morthland recovers, he ought to hold a fundraiser at a Burger King.

  12. - jeff in gold - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:40 pm:

    This is a funny story until he got hurt and then its hilarious!

  13. - phocion - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 12:57 pm:

    Colonel: Sir, General McAuliffe turned down a German surrender demand. You know what he said?
    Patton: What?
    Colonel: He said, “Nuts.”
    Patton: Keep ‘em moving, Colonel. A man that eloquent has to be saved.

  14. - cover - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 2:08 pm:

    Rep. Morthland is lucky he wasn’t trampled to death. The mayor of Hollywood Park, TX was killed by a donkey earlier this week.

    Have campaign ads ticked off the nation’s livestock so much that they’re now willing to attack politicians?

  15. - dupage dan - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 2:20 pm:

    My uncle tricked his nephew and niece (my older brother and sister) to go into the bullpen back at the old family farm in Inwood, Iowa. Uncle Pete didn’t have to run faster than the bull, just faster than Diane and David.

  16. - Bluefish - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 2:26 pm:

    Hope he enjoys grilling that particular steak once he recovers.

  17. - WazUp - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 2:41 pm:

    That was no cow, it was Madigan in a cow costume!

  18. - VanillaMan - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 2:49 pm:

    What a bunch of bull!

  19. - zatoichi - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 3:15 pm:

    My knowledge of cattle extends to walking through the barns at the state fair and when the tail goes up, move. Knee injuries are no fun, but he has a permanent good ol’ boy story for future speeches.

  20. - Dan Bureaucrat - Friday, Aug 31, 12 @ 5:01 pm:

    I wish Morthland the best, I’m glad it wasn’t worse and hope I would be smart enough to scream under cow attack.

    I read a fascinating study of cow intelligence a few years ago. I couldn’t find it, but here’s this:’t/13120/

Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.

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