JBT - Confucious say: Year of snake is over. kind of appropriate wouldn’t you say? This is our year the year of the horse. Me and my Sistas are ready to move forward. May I present Governor Lisa and Treasurer Shiela.
Same Old Lang Syne - sung by Fogelberg, enhanced by VanillaMan
Meet an old buddy in the grocery store
Chinese New-Year, the other eve
I stood behind him to get some smokes
So I touched him on the sleeve
He didn’t recognize my face at first
But then his eyes flew open wide
He started coughing and began to curse
His ankle monitor he couldn’t hide
He said he was there to find a job
Since his pension was withheld
I told life’s a bitch like that
He replied that I should go to hell
He told me of his innocence
How he ended up in jail
He thought stopping executions would
Get him released on bail
I said the years were kind to him
And that his charm hadn’t slip
But by his smile and breath I thought
Fixodent, Sea Bond and Polygrip
So, folks when you go out tonight, just please
Remember our old ex-felon politicians
Fighting over furniture this Chinese New Years
And fighting the Feds over extradition
Illinois is a place for them too
And they had their time
Reliving in their eloquence
Another Auld Lang Syne
Huge props, “chinaman” going Old School lingo. Those were the days …
“The rooster crows, the hen comes with a side of rice”
“Lisa will not take any questions today and Sheila is not going to either, so just be happy i will take your question!”
“Ask that again … c’mon … ask…I dare ya”
“Jason Plummer, sit down! Use your ‘restaurant manners’…”
“I hope everybody ate well. I know in about 30 minutes we’re all going to be hungry again, so …?”
“I know Lisa is laughing right now, but honestly, we in the GOP are really going to try and win this time…”
“I think Sheila Simon is great, but if she runs AGAINST me … look out!”
“Hey….HEY! … did you fill water glasses when Lisa spoke!”
“My fortune cookie told me …’Leave the egg roll, take the cannoli’ … who is filling those cookies!”
“Sheila said to a few people, ‘I am either going to run for AG or Comptroller’ … Well, Sheila, which one of us do you want to beat ya, me mor Mis. Giggles back there?”
“Comptroller Topinka, can you name the last TWO … GOP nominees for AG that ran against Lisa Madigan, and remember, no ‘lifelines’, no ‘call a friend’ in this round …”
Lisa Madigan: When I open my eyes I want you both gone or my father says you are in trouble!
or
Lisa Madigan: I could actually win this beauty contest.
Judy Barr Topinka serves as guest auctioneer during a “Win A Date with a State Wide Office Holder” function. Bidding started and ended at $5 for Simon and Madigan.
“It’s great to see so many former Illinois companies celebrating Chinese New Years. The three of us will do our best to bring you back!”
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:39 pm:
LM: Where’s Quinn?
SS: Not invited. The Chinese didn’t think much of that “Squeezy” thing right before the Year of the Snake and it set off an international incident. Why, the President even flew back here last week to chew out his dumb a**. Why do you think I bailed first?
“Maybe you didn’t hear me, so I’ll say it again …. Lisa, Sheila and I … we can take Pat, Jesse, Dan at 3-on-3 basketball, yes….”
- One to the Dome - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 6:33 pm:
Going
Going
Gone
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 6:46 pm:
Comptroller Topinka relates an old story in her native Czech to those gathered in Chinatown for the New Year Celebration, while Lt. Gov. Simon (of Southern Illinois) admittedly struggles throughout at interpretation, and while AG Lisa Madigan giggles dutifully along (later chuckling alound that she had “absolutely no idea” what the Comptroller was carrying on about).
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 7:23 pm:
-3 on 3 basketball-
Willy, I was about to say that the “Guys” might have a shot at the win here until I realized that Team Captain Jesse might be hosed right at the first inbounds pass.
“Look, Pat, a kitty! Look, Dan, a camera!”
I think Vegas has the Women a +2 favorite if its full court, but “1 plus the hook” for a half court game. Lisa can hit the 3-pointers, Sheila can post up Rutherford on the blocks and jbt and Jesse are pretty even.
===“Look, Pat, a kitty! Look, Dan, a camera!”===
I have cannoli are over the keybord! Good stuff.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 10:17 pm:
Willy, I’m calling my “guy” right now. Down on the Ladies!
- Boone Logan Square - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 12:58 pm:
JBT: “I said to cue up the Beer Barrel Polka, not the Pay to Play Polka. Where’s Oberweis? And why are you telling me this isn’t a karaoke bar?”
SS: “I was organized enough to know there wouldn’t be music. That’s why I didn’t bring my banjo. Maybe Comptroller is within my reach.”
LM: “I’ve got the world on a string…”
- OurMagician - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:08 pm:
Lisa-See No Evil
Sheila-Hear No Evil
Judy-Speak No Evil
- Nickypiii - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:11 pm:
The Good…the Bad and the ugly!
- been there - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:13 pm:
Women will rule the world.
- Anonymoose - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:14 pm:
Stop! And let’s blame the Guv…
He really ain’t that smart….
- Irish - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:14 pm:
JBT - Confucious say: Year of snake is over. kind of appropriate wouldn’t you say? This is our year the year of the horse. Me and my Sistas are ready to move forward. May I present Governor Lisa and Treasurer Shiela.
- Ahoy! - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:14 pm:
May I present the future Governor and Attorney General.
- Irish - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:16 pm:
JBT - “Pat listen to me, if your fortune cookie says you have a chance, it’s lyin. Just look behind me.”
- OneMan - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:25 pm:
Lisa Madigan reacts when JBT announces she plans to run again…
- Benji - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:28 pm:
‘I’m going to pass a gun control bill, right after I pass this egg roll”
- Shawshank Red - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:28 pm:
“If it’s a political presser at a Chinese locale, rest assured we’re in the Year of the Duck.”
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:29 pm:
Calm down, we’re not from the Red Army….
- Esquire - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:33 pm:
“Girl Power!” Three aging members of the Spice Girls (Ginger, Posh and Sporty) address their fans.
“If you wanna be my voter, you best get on with Madigan…”
- x ace - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:35 pm:
TET Offensive 2013
- Darienite - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:35 pm:
LM - “I’m the only one in a skirt - I think all eyes are on me.”
- Publius - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 1:45 pm:
Lisa smiles because only she has a real chinaman, an irish guy named mike.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
If the contest is for the queen of the New Year parade, my money is on the guy on the far right.
- Wumpus - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
3 Tenors
- Cardinal fan - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
Two and a Half Men
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:16 pm:
Bueller…..Bueller……..Bueller
- Myk Snider - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:16 pm:
I can’t believe it’s Year of the Snake. I’m still printing “Year of the Dragon” on all our checks.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:21 pm:
Same Old Lang Syne - sung by Fogelberg, enhanced by VanillaMan
Meet an old buddy in the grocery store
Chinese New-Year, the other eve
I stood behind him to get some smokes
So I touched him on the sleeve
He didn’t recognize my face at first
But then his eyes flew open wide
He started coughing and began to curse
His ankle monitor he couldn’t hide
He said he was there to find a job
Since his pension was withheld
I told life’s a bitch like that
He replied that I should go to hell
He told me of his innocence
How he ended up in jail
He thought stopping executions would
Get him released on bail
I said the years were kind to him
And that his charm hadn’t slip
But by his smile and breath I thought
Fixodent, Sea Bond and Polygrip
So, folks when you go out tonight, just please
Remember our old ex-felon politicians
Fighting over furniture this Chinese New Years
And fighting the Feds over extradition
Illinois is a place for them too
And they had their time
Reliving in their eloquence
Another Auld Lang Syne
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:25 pm:
- Publius -,
Huge props, “chinaman” going Old School lingo. Those were the days …
“The rooster crows, the hen comes with a side of rice”
“Lisa will not take any questions today and Sheila is not going to either, so just be happy i will take your question!”
“Ask that again … c’mon … ask…I dare ya”
“Jason Plummer, sit down! Use your ‘restaurant manners’…”
“I hope everybody ate well. I know in about 30 minutes we’re all going to be hungry again, so …?”
“I know Lisa is laughing right now, but honestly, we in the GOP are really going to try and win this time…”
“I think Sheila Simon is great, but if she runs AGAINST me … look out!”
“Hey….HEY! … did you fill water glasses when Lisa spoke!”
“My fortune cookie told me …’Leave the egg roll, take the cannoli’ … who is filling those cookies!”
“Sheila said to a few people, ‘I am either going to run for AG or Comptroller’ … Well, Sheila, which one of us do you want to beat ya, me mor Mis. Giggles back there?”
- LINK - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:31 pm:
An Illinois remake of Hocus Pocus…
- Anon. - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 2:37 pm:
“Now when the music stops, we all have to grab an open chair.”
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:00 pm:
Judy - Of those on stage with me, I can tell you in two years I will be the only statewide elected official.
Lisa - Heh.
Sheila - Yep.
Bald guy- That girl tending the punch bowl is kinda cute.
- Judgment Day - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:00 pm:
“I see Lisa brought the cardboard cutout with her…”
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:01 pm:
For the Chinese New Year Fashion Show, Atty.Gen. Lisa Madigan won the Junior Division and Lt. Gov. Sheila Simon won “Best Mao Tse-Tung Suit.”
- siriusly - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:02 pm:
Sheila: So, um. I don’t know this is kind of awkward . . . but I was thinking. Maybe I could be your lieutenant governor?
- Amalia - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:22 pm:
Lisa and Sheila are amused that JBT believes Fardon Lightfoot will be singing The Wreck of the Patrick Fitzgerald.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:22 pm:
- Arthur Andersen -,
Oh, that was good. well done!
“Comptroller Topinka, can you name the last TWO … GOP nominees for AG that ran against Lisa Madigan, and remember, no ‘lifelines’, no ‘call a friend’ in this round …”
- Meanderthal - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:30 pm:
Lisa Madigan: When I open my eyes I want you both gone or my father says you are in trouble!
or
Lisa Madigan: I could actually win this beauty contest.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:51 pm:
JBT: I pity the fool who would run against me!
SS: Gulp..
LM: (introspectively) No one here wants to buy anymore Illinois bonds!?! Awkward…
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:55 pm:
If you click on the hyperlink, you see President Preckwinkle and Anita Alvarez in the pic too.
It must have been Ladies’ Night.
- Steve Bartin - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 3:56 pm:
3 Stooges, the Illinois sequel 2013.
- Maxine - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:02 pm:
Hey is that Janet Reno in the back?
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:03 pm:
Thanks, Willy!
Amalia- Thank YOU for a) the spit take and b) giving a good laugh to the lady at the drive thru who saw a)
#nomorebloganddrive
- Strobby - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:04 pm:
I think the egg rolls gave Sheila gas
- John A Logan - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:11 pm:
Judy Barr Topinka serves as guest auctioneer during a “Win A Date with a State Wide Office Holder” function. Bidding started and ended at $5 for Simon and Madigan.
- Jerome Horwitz - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:27 pm:
I got Stetson!Which one is she?
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:33 pm:
Judy is trying to say happy new year in Chinese as Lisa can’t hold back the laughter and Simon fights her laughter back.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:34 pm:
“It’s great to see so many former Illinois companies celebrating Chinese New Years. The three of us will do our best to bring you back!”
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 4:39 pm:
LM: Where’s Quinn?
SS: Not invited. The Chinese didn’t think much of that “Squeezy” thing right before the Year of the Snake and it set off an international incident. Why, the President even flew back here last week to chew out his dumb a**. Why do you think I bailed first?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 6:00 pm:
“Maybe you didn’t hear me, so I’ll say it again …. Lisa, Sheila and I … we can take Pat, Jesse, Dan at 3-on-3 basketball, yes….”
- One to the Dome - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 6:33 pm:
Going
Going
Gone
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 6:46 pm:
Comptroller Topinka relates an old story in her native Czech to those gathered in Chinatown for the New Year Celebration, while Lt. Gov. Simon (of Southern Illinois) admittedly struggles throughout at interpretation, and while AG Lisa Madigan giggles dutifully along (later chuckling alound that she had “absolutely no idea” what the Comptroller was carrying on about).
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 7:23 pm:
-3 on 3 basketball-
Willy, I was about to say that the “Guys” might have a shot at the win here until I realized that Team Captain Jesse might be hosed right at the first inbounds pass.
“Look, Pat, a kitty! Look, Dan, a camera!”
- In the Sticks - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:01 pm:
Sheila wonders if JBT will take her shopping for a new campaign wardrobe since she won’t have enough time for sewing.
- Skeeter - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:23 pm:
Lt. Gov. Simon throwing her heart and soul into one of the most complex and challenging functions of her current office.
- Skeeter - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:27 pm:
When you click on the photo is that Anita Alvarez a few few feet away from Lisa?
Now that could make for an interesting caption –
“The only two Illinois lawyers who cannot name a single elected official worth prosecuting.”
- du jour - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:39 pm:
Lisa giggled and knew she had the spelling bee locked up. There was no way Judy knew how to spell首都传真.
- du jour - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:40 pm:
Take the gun, leave the egg rolly.
- du jour - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:42 pm:
The People’s Liberation Army recruiter was very apologetic when she realized she had invited three hacks to interview, not three hackers.
- Amalia - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:44 pm:
@ Arthur Andersen ;-0
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 8:44 pm:
Thank you. And for our next number . . . .
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 9:16 pm:
- Arthur Andersen -,
I think Vegas has the Women a +2 favorite if its full court, but “1 plus the hook” for a half court game. Lisa can hit the 3-pointers, Sheila can post up Rutherford on the blocks and jbt and Jesse are pretty even.
===“Look, Pat, a kitty! Look, Dan, a camera!”===
I have cannoli are over the keybord! Good stuff.
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 10:17 pm:
Willy, I’m calling my “guy” right now. Down on the Ladies!
- Downstater - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 10:38 pm:
Looks like Sheldon’s mother(Judy) and the girls( Lisa and Sheila) Sheldon from the Big Bang theory would date.
- Steve Bartin - Tuesday, Feb 19, 13 @ 10:45 pm:
Illinois’ finest.
- Mike M - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 7:14 am:
2013 - The Year of the Pander Bear
- Newsclown - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 7:25 am:
“Hello, Angels!”
“Hello, Charlie!”
- WazUp - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 7:43 am:
JBT- “Thank you and the winner for the 2012 most ineffective elected official goes to…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 8:20 am:
===Willy, I’m calling my “guy” right now. Down on the Ladies!===
Put three “dimes” on the ladies, and parlay that with the “under”….
#StrictlyForEntertainmentPurposes
- Dirty Red - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 9:15 am:
Leave the lieutenant governor’s office. Take the egg roll.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Feb 20, 13 @ 9:22 am:
Lisa is smiling and thinking “If only they knew what they were in for.”