“I know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking to win, I can tell you I won’t let you. But what I will do is use a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter win now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will embarrass you.”
“Hello, you have reached the state of Illinois budget hotline. For pension fixes press 1. For educational fixes press 2. For gambling fixes press 3. For medicaid fixes press 4. For the state employee contract negotiations press 5. For the guy who can fix all of your problems press 6. “
For “yes,” press 1. For “no,” press 2.
For “yes, er, no,” press 3.
For “no, er, yes,” press 4.
For effective governance and getting things done, please stay on the line; the first available operator will be with you shortly…
Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and the next available operator will be with you in…5 minutes…unless this is Pat Quinn again in which case the the next available operator will be with you in…678 days.
Telephone, sung by Governor Gaga, enhanced by VanillaMan
Hello, hello baby, you called? I can’t hear a thing
I have no power under the Dome, you see
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh? You’re breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m not busy.
Sorry, I cannot hear you
But, I’m not busy
Just a second, I stepped into something
And AFSCME says I’m no longer their king
They should’ve made plans with me, because I’m sometimes busy
And now you won’t stop calling, and I’m feeling dizzy
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my head and career on the GA floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my heart and my brains on the GA floor.
My telephone, m-m-my telephone
Cause I’m out of my mind
And I’m often maligned
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone…
Initial reaction of cell phone providers viewing the photo for the first time:
Apple rep: “OMG, more bad press”.
Android rep: “OMG, more bad press”
Blackberry rep: “This is supposed to be a good thing?”
Nokia/Microsoft: “Somebody’s actually using our phone?” Pat Quinn????
Amazon: “I wonder if he purchased it over the Internet? And paid taxes on it?”
“No, no message from Madigan or Cullerton, but that Disney lawyer left another 3 messages about the Python and Copyright infringement, cease and disist, blah, blah, I eventually just hung up. He left a number …”
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:28 am:
Yes, I am the one who posted the Dodge Dart for sale on Craigslist, it has low mileage…..
- A Naughty Moose - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:29 am:
This photo’s a fake. The real Pat Quinn never listens.
“1 ringy dingy, 2 ringy dingy, hello, this is Ernestine, your telephone operator. Uh, Mr Quinn, I wanted to talk to you about the State’s telephone bill…..uh, hello, Mr Quinn…..Mr Quinn? Dang, he hung up”.
Hello, this is Pat Quinn… Pat Quinn, Pat Quinn the governor of Illinois… Illinois, Illinois. You know, the state that is home to people who work hard, farmers, lawyers, newspaper columnists, doctors, factory workers, clerks… where people have issues, real issues, tough problems that require a strong leader with a firm grip on the wheel, focused and always on track… hello, hello are you still there ??
Operator, well could you help me place this call?
See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded.
he’s in charge of the GA with my best old ex-friend (fill in the blank),
A guy he said he knew well and sometimes hated.
Isn’t that the way they say it goes? Well, let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it,
So I can call just to tell ‘em I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow, I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn’t real, but that’s not the way it feels……..
–“And the operator says ‘40 cents more for the next 3 minutes.’ Please!” –
Been a while since Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show popped in the head, lol.
“Sylvia’s Mother,” written by Chicago’s own multi-talented Shel Silverstein. Playboy cartoonist, children’s author (”The Giving Tree”) and writer of the immortal “Boy Named Sue.”
Silverstein gave the lyrics to Cash on spec. JC sang it the first time live at San Quentin, reading off Silverstein’s letter, laughing as he went along. The live recording went No. 1 and was one of his biggest hits.
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:28 pm:
“Thank God for my ObamaPhone!”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:33 pm:
I learn the most interesting things here, especially from word
Who knew that the same dude wrote “Sylvia’s Mother”, “The Giving Tree,”and “A Boy named Sue?”
Hello?…Uh…Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can’t hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?…Oh-ho, that’s much better…yeah…huh…yes…Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri…Clear and plain and coming through fine…I’m coming through fine, too, eh?…Good, then…well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine…Good…Well, it’s good that you’re fine and…and I’m fine…I agree with you, it’s great to be fine…a-ha-ha-ha-ha…Now then, Dmitri, you know how we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb…The *Bomb* Dmitri…The *hydrogen* bomb…
Only one million? How do I get 25 million by next the end of the year?
- Just The Way It Is One - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 5:11 pm:
“YES Mother. Yes–I SAID my prayers AND ate my Wheaties this mornin’–honest! Yes, right–I know there’s only a year ’till the next election. Unopposed? Well…I dunno about THAT! Just don’t worry about it, oK Ma? Ok–God bless you too Mom…Bye.”