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Thursday, Apr 3, 2014

* From the Illinois Senate Republican Fan Page on Facebook

Sen. Bivins listens intently as his democratic colleague explains legislation in the Criminal Law Committee.

Tim is one of the funnier guys in the General Assembly. So, maybe we should have a little fun with him today…

- Posted by Rich Miller        


54 Comments
  1. - Walker - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:38 am:

    Get to the point. You do have a point don’t you?


  2. - Tommydanger - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:39 am:

    “Vee have vays of making you talk!”


  3. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:46 am:

    “Now, some in this chamber think this is funny, a joke…Sen. Bivins …can’t even control his laughter…”


  4. - Stuff happens - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:49 am:

    See how still I can sit? And I don’t even need marijuana…


  5. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:50 am:

    Sen. Bivins cracks a huge smile seeing a video of puppies and kittens.


  6. - A guy... - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:51 am:

    All I can think about right now were those delicious brownies.


  7. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:54 am:

    “It has been brought to the attention of the Senate Secretary that the brownies brought in by Rep. Lang gave been cut into and 3 brownies are missing. Yes. They are ‘those’ kind of brownies. If you find that you had one, and are ‘zoning’, see the Capitol nurse immediately…”


  8. - StreetervilleSnookie - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:55 am:

    “Visitors to the new Springfield wax museum, were impressed with the amazing likeness of Sen. Bivins”


  9. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 10:55 am:

    “Welcome to the Senate floor, Lady Gaga…”


  10. - Wensicia - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:02 am:

    “I don’t see anything wrong with banning garlic as well, as I oppose the idea of allowing vampires to smoke the stuff. Why is everybody looking at me like that?”


  11. - Birdseed - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:07 am:

    Sen. Bivins auditioning for the role of Quinnocchio.


  12. - zatoichi - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:14 am:

    Sen. Bivins demonstrates he can sleep with his eyes open.

    Sen. Bivins deep thoughts: ..and I turned down a two week run as sub host for Stephen Colbert for this.


  13. - AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:22 am:

    I wish someone would say something important so I can write iit down.


  14. - OneMan - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:23 am:

    Funny, funny how Miller…

    Does my legislation amuse you…

    Am I the type of guy who would sponsor clown college legislation? Funny how?


  15. - AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:23 am:

    Let’s see, we need milk, eggs, cheese, bread…


  16. - Toure's Latte - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:27 am:

    Maybe a laptop like all these other guys have WOULD be a good idea.


  17. - Living in Machiaville - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:28 am:

    “think I’n finally getting the hang of the Bufford Pusser stare down..”


  18. - a drop in - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:36 am:

    If I were governor, this is how I would sign bills.


  19. - DuPage - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:50 am:

    Must…stay…awake!


  20. - spliff - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:06 pm:

    Just once would Noland shut up!


  21. - Norseman - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:09 pm:

    First to blink wins!


  22. - A guy... - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:23 pm:

    Tell me again who to call when the elevator is stuck?


  23. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:39 pm:

    “Please welcome ‘Page For A Day’ Quinnocchio…”


  24. - spliff - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:42 pm:

    mmmmmmm ….Donuts!


  25. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 12:46 pm:

    Sen. Bivins is speechless as the SDems perform as a Flash Mob to Michael Jackson’s song “Thriller”


  26. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:03 pm:

    Sen. Bivins, sitting in stunned silence, as the Illinois Senate passed HB9799, trading JoDaviess and Stephenson Counties to Wisconsin for Rock, Walworth and Kenosha Counties.


  27. - Formerly Known As... - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:08 pm:

    “Son, I was a sheriff for 20 years. I have guarded Ronald Reagan.

    And let me tell you, you’re no Ronald Reagan.”


  28. - Formerly Known As... - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:08 pm:

    “Please, keep talking. It amuses me.”


  29. - Steve Downstate - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:10 pm:

    As he struck his best Paul Simon pose for the cameras, Sen. Bivins realized he had forgotten the bow tie once again. Darn it. Always the bow tie!


  30. - Michelle Flaherty - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:19 pm:

    “You would prefer another target, a military target? Then name the system! I grow tired of asking this so it will be the last time: *Where* is the rebel base?” — Grand Moff Tarkin, R-Dixon.


  31. - Mittuns - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:32 pm:

    It puts the committee amendment on the bill, or it gets the down vote again.


  32. - GollyGeeI'mTall - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:35 pm:

    I am Not Tall but am still worthy of your support.


  33. - Mittuns - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:48 pm:

    Dieter Sprockets appears before an Illinois Senate Committee.


  34. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:48 pm:

    After losing “the weight”, and buying his first suit, “Silent Bob” took his seat in the Illinois Senate.


  35. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:50 pm:

    if i don`t retire in june, im going to lose money.


  36. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:52 pm:

    Sen. Tim Bivins sits in stunned silence as Freshmen colleagues debate his bill and continuously referencing him as “Tom Bivins”…


  37. - RFR - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 1:53 pm:

    What do you mean I’m funny? Funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? How am I funny?


  38. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:02 pm:

    Sen. Bivins is rendered speechless as he watches two unnamed Democratic Senators clean up a ketchup “mishap” at their seats…


  39. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:06 pm:

    (Thinking) “Laraine Newman, … John Belushi, … (Long Pause)…..Jane Curtin and Gilda Radner, … (Longer Pause)….Dan Aykroyd, … Garrett Morris and … Is it Chevy Chase AND Bill Murray, of just Chevy… Think it was just Chevy…”


  40. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:26 pm:

    “When you draw ‘Mickey’, we start with… yes, his ears. So hold your pencil like…so… and watch how I make the first ear….see that…. Ok, and now the second….watching?… just like this….and there is ‘Mickey’s head”.

    Now everybody, you have your pencils ready? President Cullerton, good…. Sen. Bivins, excellent… Ok, so make your first ear….


  41. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:35 pm:

    “Ok. Final Round.”

    “Suzie Johnson, who do want as a partner?”

    “It’s tough. Charles Nelson Reilly? Ernest Bourgnine? Vickie Lawrence? No. I want Sen. Bivins.”

    “Ok, Sen Bivins, ready? Ok, for the match;”

    “…’Blank’ Brush…. ‘Blank’ Brush…”


  42. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:44 pm:

    (Thinking), “It looks like a honeycomb. Do I put honeycomb? Could be a waffle…ear wax… Man, why doesn’t Cullerton just pick members to speak on seniority or something else. ‘Guess The Picture’?… Stop. Concentrate. Looks like a honeycomb… “


  43. - I B Strapped - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:55 pm:

    I truly am awestruck how stupid most of these Senate Orators are. We are so ______________!


  44. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 2:56 pm:

    “Our next contestant is Sally Smith, singing ‘Memories’ from ‘Cats’. Remember judges, from ‘1-10′, Sen. Bivins, not ‘awful’, k? Thanks.”


  45. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 3:03 pm:

    Sen. Bivins, thanks for being a good sport.

    (Thinking), “Bat is to ball as Log is to ‘Blank’…I keep reading the board… DOG!… Man, I need new glasses…’Dog’… Got it… Dog is to … table?…Man, these Cullerton games are annoying…”


  46. - LisleMike - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 3:56 pm:

    “Your stories would be so much more interesting…..if they had a point!”


  47. - spliff - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 4:09 pm:

    These are not the droids your looking for


  48. - spliff - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 4:09 pm:

    These are not the droids your looking for


  49. - Anonsense - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 4:49 pm:

    Must ignore personal itch.


  50. - Anonsense - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 4:52 pm:

    The senator multi tasks as he listens in committee and sits for his official portrait.


  51. - Just The Way It Is One - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 7:07 pm:

    “Assault, battery defined THAT way–what the Hell? Sounds a bit harsh! I mean, shucks, isn’t what they just described like exactly what I do when I scare the hell out of the family Cat and raise my hand to him, or give him a good, stiff kick with my foot to get his rear-end over into the Cat Litter box when he has to go D0-Do???!”


  52. - danray - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 7:47 pm:

    Because I’m the Sheriff, that’s why.


  53. - The Dean - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 7:48 pm:

    “Who would tell me the truth about those cookies I ate? THINK TIM,THINK!”


  54. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 3, 14 @ 11:19 pm:

    i can`t wait for rauner to come to diner.


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