Are you a suburban mom, preferably in her first term on a city council? ISO a strong-willed, bi-lingual partner who can make decisions for me when I’m out of town. Serious replies only.
No caption but the high disparity made me instantly flashblack to the Rock Hudson-Nancy Walker dance number on the Carol Burnett show. I can’t provide the link from work, but google Rock Hudson Nancy Walker dancing Carol Burnett and it really gets going at the 2:35-3:30 minute mark.
BR - “Harley riders are rallying in Montana next week. Looks like ‘Ranch Time’…”
“Slip and Sue” - “You fall on the property, then take the selfie. This picture is only worth $15 thousand, and the injury, you need bruises, where are the bruses here?”
Exactly the kind of hard-hitting journalism Bruce Rauner likes. No pesky questions about his policy proposals, hidden tax returns or shady business record from “Positively Naperville”.
Bruce Rauner holding up a paper to hide the barbeque sauce stains he obtained while trying to ’show how its done’ grilling a full slab at the Naperville Ribfest.
Lonely old broken down government desires a super rich hero to ride off in the sunset with her. Need not have any convictions about anything and concrete plans for the future are totally optional. Need at least 10 mil to apply.
Qunn Campaign issues press release pointing out how Billionare Bruce Rauner buys two newspapers in Snotty Naperville, where Quinn waits for one to be left behind in a local Motel 6
“Hey look, an ad for consultant advice. Price negotiable, interesting trades considered. Says here he’s based in Oswego, but ‘No Raunerites will be considered’…what’s that mean?”
Bruce must know somebody to get me some free golf at Pebble Beach or get me on as a guest at Spyglass or maybe Bruce belongs to a club…plus whatever - AA - and - wordslinger - want…plus our fees.
Still not too late Rauner Crew.
“Caption?”
BR - “Oh Rahm. You want me as a friend, not an enemy…”
“Slip and Sue” - “I thought I put the hex on that columnist. ‘Only on vacation’, that has to be code.”
“This should make us look sophisticated and such Sue. Naperville is a long word to have on paper. Plus Carhart’s are on clearance at that Big R place.”
the only thing in here is sherriffs sales oh i got a paper cut
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 8:32 pm:
“Unabashedly posing as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, candidates Rauner and Sanguinetti read all about Nothing in the Local Paper as they review together their “Budget Plan to Save Illinois,” which they assured reporters they will provide “ALL” of the details to “sometime soon in the coming months.”
The Pool Reporters present confirmed that both candidates were indeed staring at Blank Page in the Paper…”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:17 pm:
BR - “That Marmaduke!”
“Slip and Sue” - Hmm. Which PI Attorney should I use when I fall in 10 minutes?”
- Soccermom - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:19 pm:
They’re both holding them right-side-up. That’s good.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:19 pm:
BR - “Where can I get some fake ‘meats’ to put on the grill later?”
“Slip and Sue” - “I could use a new neck brace. That one is bedazzled…”
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:20 pm:
Personals
MSW
Are you a suburban mom, preferably in her first term on a city council? ISO a strong-willed, bi-lingual partner who can make decisions for me when I’m out of town. Serious replies only.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:21 pm:
Can you believe these things are free?
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:21 pm:
BR - “Hmm. ‘Poultry Prices Rising’, you’re welcome!”
“Slip and Sue” - “There’s a sale on magic wands. That will help when I’m Co-Governor”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:22 pm:
Look Sue - there’s those banjo lessons you need to take.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:23 pm:
Hey look Sue - your court settlement was published!
- bottom rung. - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:24 pm:
The moment the inspiration for taxing newsprint came to Bruce.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:24 pm:
BR - “Heh. Dillard got the Metra job. Can’t wait to call on that favor…”
“Slip and Sue” - “I found the ‘Pail’, the ‘Umbrella’…is that the ‘Football’…can’t tell…”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:27 pm:
Sue, it says this person is looking for a LBSW - too bad you’re not a Liberal Blonde Swedish Woman!
- 32nd Ward Roscoe Village - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:27 pm:
No caption but the high disparity made me instantly flashblack to the Rock Hudson-Nancy Walker dance number on the Carol Burnett show. I can’t provide the link from work, but google Rock Hudson Nancy Walker dancing Carol Burnett and it really gets going at the 2:35-3:30 minute mark.
- Noper - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:28 pm:
Co-Governor Hopefuls Search Classifieds for Mansion in which to Co-Habitate
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:29 pm:
BR - “Harley riders are rallying in Montana next week. Looks like ‘Ranch Time’…”
“Slip and Sue” - “You fall on the property, then take the selfie. This picture is only worth $15 thousand, and the injury, you need bruises, where are the bruses here?”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:29 pm:
That Rich Miller! What a HOOT!
- Reality Check - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:30 pm:
Exactly the kind of hard-hitting journalism Bruce Rauner likes. No pesky questions about his policy proposals, hidden tax returns or shady business record from “Positively Naperville”.
- Michelle Flaherty - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:30 pm:
Who should we buy today?
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:31 pm:
Hey look Sue - now they’re putting dominoes on pizza!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:32 pm:
BR - ” Well all be. They do publish homeowner exemptions.”
“Slip and Sue” - “The stairs at the Mansion…I can fall down those…look how they seem to bow…easy-peasy…”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:33 pm:
Looks like I found you that 1989 Cadillac Catera you wanted - and only $2999!
- train111 - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:33 pm:
Bruce Rauner holding up a paper to hide the barbeque sauce stains he obtained while trying to ’show how its done’ grilling a full slab at the Naperville Ribfest.
- One to the Dome - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:34 pm:
Don’t worry Bruce, I can step in and read this for you.
- Judgment Day - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:35 pm:
“Rauner For Governor” - Dead Tree version.
- train111 - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:37 pm:
Rauner smirks seeing the personals:
Lonely old broken down government desires a super rich hero to ride off in the sunset with her. Need not have any convictions about anything and concrete plans for the future are totally optional. Need at least 10 mil to apply.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:37 pm:
Did you know that the new album by Deadmau5 is getting great reviews!
- Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:38 pm:
ES: “There’s a sale at Penney’s!”
BR: “Penney’s is for sale!”
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm:
Ron Burgundy takes a huge early lead!
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm:
Good thing these Wranglers cover up my new mink boxers!
- anon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm:
Dumb and Dumber…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:42 pm:
BR - “Red Sox win, Steelers start training camp, and the Bulls might get Carmelo. Fantasy Sports…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Hmm. Sullivan Steak House needs a piano player for lunch seatings…”
- PlayK8 - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:45 pm:
Hey, it says here. I can cut 15% off the budget in 15 minutes.
- OneMan - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:46 pm:
Qunn Campaign issues press release pointing out how Billionare Bruce Rauner buys two newspapers in Snotty Naperville, where Quinn waits for one to be left behind in a local Motel 6
- bottom rung. - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:47 pm:
Uh oh, They’re asking policy questions, quick, pretend to be reading those newspapers!
- Comment - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:51 pm:
Dewey Wins!
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:52 pm:
Ah finally a newspaper that caters to the .01%
- The Colossus of Roads - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:56 pm:
Why are we reading an independent newspaper, doesn’t Fox news own any newspapers in Naperville?
- Roadbuilder - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:58 pm:
Looking for a handyman who’ll do cheap work (non-union) on renovations at the Governor’s mansion…
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:03 pm:
BR - “Heh. That Ken Griffin. You tell ‘em ”
“Slip and Sue” - “We look good standing with those chickens. I even like that outfit I wore.”
- Schock Girl - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:04 pm:
BR- oh darn there’s that selfie with Schock again
ES:(keeps quiet and searches for a way to get off of this ticket)
- lake county democrat - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:05 pm:
Hey look! Target has these jeans on sale and they’re STILL more than I paid for them!
- Stones - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:07 pm:
BR - “Evelyn, have you ever read that Richie Rich cartoon? That little guy is a hoot!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:16 pm:
BR - “I love it when a plan comes together…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Do I get blue drapes or green drapes for my office? Blue? Yeah, and long, like ‘trip-able’ long..yeah…”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:20 pm:
“Hey look, an ad for consultant advice. Price negotiable, interesting trades considered. Says here he’s based in Oswego, but ‘No Raunerites will be considered’…what’s that mean?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:31 pm:
Bruce must know somebody to get me some free golf at Pebble Beach or get me on as a guest at Spyglass or maybe Bruce belongs to a club…plus whatever - AA - and - wordslinger - want…plus our fees.
Still not too late Rauner Crew.
“Caption?”
BR - “Oh Rahm. You want me as a friend, not an enemy…”
“Slip and Sue” - “I thought I put the hex on that columnist. ‘Only on vacation’, that has to be code.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:42 pm:
BR - “Good news. They are fixing the roof at the Mansion.”
“Slip and Sue” - “Jason Plummer wrote an ‘Open Letter’ to me? Geez, look at the misspellings…the drawing is cute thou…”
- Richmond - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
BR - “Quinnochio came out with a budget plan before we did?”
- Jorge - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:54 pm:
“This should make us look sophisticated and such Sue. Naperville is a long word to have on paper. Plus Carhart’s are on clearance at that Big R place.”
- Nearly Normal - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:02 pm:
BR “Quick, find something we can talk about!”
ES “I wish you wouldn’t stand on that box. It makes me look even shorter!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:19 pm:
BR - “The Pride Parade looks like it went well…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Hmm. So I get a police detail as Co-Governor? Not bad.”
- Mr. Grassroots - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:20 pm:
A six-letter word for what Chicago (and Illinois) ain’t ready for?
- Cheryl44 - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:27 pm:
BR–Stand up, they’re taking our picture!
“Slip and Sue” I AM standing.
- Jimbo - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:27 pm:
Look Ev, it says here that summer rule number 1 is “lose the carhartt”. That’s not going to play well in Peoria.
- The End Is Near - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:32 pm:
“Evelyn, look at 42-down. I need a 6-letter word for ‘poseur’ that starts with R and ends with R.”
- Charlatan Heston - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:32 pm:
BR: Look a social agenda section!
ES: Hmmmmm
- Arthur Andersen - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:51 pm:
BR: I’m reading “Fortune” behind this cheesy local paper-how about you?
ES: Co-Governing for Dummies!
- PoolGuy - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:55 pm:
Meanwhile, Princess Leia and Emperor Palpatine impersonators go through the wants ads looking for work…
- LINK - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:55 pm:
I love the color coordination between her nails and the strips on his shirt…
- phocion - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:03 pm:
PoolGuy pulls ahead for the lead!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:24 pm:
BR-Don’t you think my cowboy belt buckle will fool all those Down-Staters?
ES-Sure, and I’ll fool all the Munchkin fans.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:25 pm:
BR: With my kind of money, Naperville is the slums.
ES: With your kind of money, Illinois is the slums.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:27 pm:
BR: I’m a’goin’ for two of the stupidest faked photos in a row!
ES: Get me a ticket on that train, Bruce!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:29 pm:
BR: I see Quinnochio has an ad in for a yard man.
ES: Hmm. Might be a workman’s comp claim in that jungle!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:30 pm:
BR: I hear the Quinn campaign buys one newspaper and passes it around.
ES: Loser!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:31 pm:
BR: Did you know I get an inch taller every time I lie?
ES: I am SO pretty!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:33 pm:
BR: I wear a $17 watch.
ES: I am SO pretty!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:35 pm:
BR: Don’t forget to smile.
ES: I am! I’ve got a mirror hidden behind my paper.
- too obvious - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:39 pm:
I’m already extremely sick of them both.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:47 pm:
BR: I wore red, white, and blue today.
ES: Oh, yeah. THAT will make you a great governor.
- DateNight - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:52 pm:
I didn’t know these clowns could read?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:57 pm:
Wanted..Young pol’s single and free. Experience in Gov preferred cause I am just a young trainee.
- Jeanne Dough - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:12 pm:
BR: “I’m curious, Sue, what newspapers do you read?”
ES: “Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”
- Wensicia - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:21 pm:
ES: Hmm…nothing negative about us in here.
BR: Yeah, I own these guys too. Just like our friends at the Chicago Tribune.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:33 pm:
BR: If I grew a beard, do you think it would make me look like Lincoln?
ES: Are you familiar with the word, ‘Sasquatch?’
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:34 pm:
BR: Look, it has Sheila Simon’s tour schedule in here.
ES: Hmmm…I slipped on some Loose Gravel once.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:06 pm:
BR: Our campaign got a donation today from Chase Manhattan.
ES: Ooo! I just loved him in that “Christmas Vacation” movie!
- Streator Curmudgeon - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:07 pm:
BR: Hey! This soy ink is coming off on my hands!
PQ (from background): Gotcha!
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:36 pm:
the only thing in here is sherriffs sales oh i got a paper cut
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 8:32 pm:
“Unabashedly posing as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, candidates Rauner and Sanguinetti read all about Nothing in the Local Paper as they review together their “Budget Plan to Save Illinois,” which they assured reporters they will provide “ALL” of the details to “sometime soon in the coming months.”
The Pool Reporters present confirmed that both candidates were indeed staring at Blank Page in the Paper…”
- well then... - Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 8:35 pm:
No Coldstone Creamery here? Lets stop at the one in Springfield.