I sponsored the bill and was a big advocate for medical marijuana. Now if I can find a doctor to write some prescriptions for certain people in Springfield, on both sides of the aisle, maybe we can get this budget solved.
“Horse racing, casinos and marijuana will return Illinois to prosperity. And rabbits. I understand a business called the Bunny Ranch in Nevada is something we can all get behind.”
My right hand, I call “Shutdown”!
My left hand, I call “Showdown”!
That clock, I call “Countdown”!
This political dance, I call “Hoedown”!
My political opponents, I call “Beatdown”!
To Goldberg, I say “Pipe down”!
My razor, it went “Downtown”!
This administration, I say “Burn Down”!
I win this debate, “Hands Down”!
This state is ready to “Close Down”!
To Rauner, I say “Step Down”!
I’m beginning to have a “Break Down”!
So I’ll quit before I “Fall Down”!
So I’m off to speak to “Steve Brown”!
- The Colossus of Roads - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:42 pm:
2 to 1 odds my head will explode. I’ll take that bet.
- A Jack - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:45 pm:
“The Governor’s turn-around agenda was hard to swallow”
- A guy - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
In a Gilbert Godfried voice:
“Oh sure, and when it’s my turn to stand up here, the Turnaround Guy shows up” AAAAAAHH!
- A guy - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
Don’t lecture me on gambling with this State.
- A Jack - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:48 pm:
“The Governor’s turn-around agenda was hard to swallow, please get me a glass of water to wash it down”
- Bluefish - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:51 pm:
“For the tenth time, Rep. Sandack, we’ll get you that letter.”
- Eddy - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
These pretzels are making me thirsty
- Centennial - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
GOLDBERRRRRRRRRRG!
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
“I will never be Governor, I will never be Speaker, why the heck am I doing all this?”
- A Jack - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:00 pm:
Rep Lang suddenly realized the line the Governor was feeding him wasn’t Koscher.
- Joe M - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:01 pm:
I sponsored the bill and was a big advocate for medical marijuana. Now if I can find a doctor to write some prescriptions for certain people in Springfield, on both sides of the aisle, maybe we can get this budget solved.
- Casual Observer - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:03 pm:
You put ketchup on your hot dog for crying out loud. Have you no sense of decency, sir?
- A Lowly LA - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:05 pm:
“Everyone just needs to stop pointing fingers and assigning blame. See, I have eight of them right here that I pledge to not use to lay blame.
Now, with that being said, this is all TOTALLY the Governor’s fault…”
- Ben Franklin - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:07 pm:
I said TEN White Castles!
- Quizzical - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:10 pm:
Will the governor please sign the stand alone appropriations bill for paper towels in the rest room?
- Belle - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:12 pm:
She tried to tell me it was orange but I told her “no red ties! I always look red-faced with a red tie!”
- DuPage Don - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:14 pm:
When? When? When are we ever gonna get a Kaufman’s Deli down here?
- SAP - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:17 pm:
Pretty soon I’ll be as orange as Ditka.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:21 pm:
“The Owls, so many Owls…”
- A Lowly LA - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:22 pm:
“I am holding….my breath….until all agency directors…show up…to…my….hearing!…”
BTW that was good, Quizzical.
- Anon - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:26 pm:
Shocked and appalled.
- zatoichi - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:31 pm:
Lewis Black’s brother makes a point.
- Bogey Golfer - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:37 pm:
“Waiting for my nails to dry.”
- Amalia - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:39 pm:
Was it over when Kaufman’s had a fire and it was closed for months?
- Robert the Bruce - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:40 pm:
“This is nothing that 10 more casinos can’t fix!”
- Let'sMovetoTexas - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 3:43 pm:
Just think of it : a casino on every block of every town in the state!
- Keyser Soze - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:00 pm:
I used to compare Lou to Dilbert’s pointy haired boss. But, alas, the points are now gone.
- Cook County Commoner - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:00 pm:
“Horse racing, casinos and marijuana will return Illinois to prosperity. And rabbits. I understand a business called the Bunny Ranch in Nevada is something we can all get behind.”
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:05 pm:
“I…uh…I’m not sure what to do with my hands”
- walker - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:11 pm:
Can’t you come up with even ten votes?”
- Anon. - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:17 pm:
“Vast . . . tracks of land.”
- Anon. - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:17 pm:
“Can’t anybody here play this game?”
- A guy - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:20 pm:
I’ve got 10 minutes until Miller closes his tab.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Jul 2, 15 @ 4:40 pm:
My right hand, I call “Shutdown”!
My left hand, I call “Showdown”!
That clock, I call “Countdown”!
This political dance, I call “Hoedown”!
My political opponents, I call “Beatdown”!
To Goldberg, I say “Pipe down”!
My razor, it went “Downtown”!
This administration, I say “Burn Down”!
I win this debate, “Hands Down”!
This state is ready to “Close Down”!
To Rauner, I say “Step Down”!
I’m beginning to have a “Break Down”!
So I’ll quit before I “Fall Down”!
So I’m off to speak to “Steve Brown”!