“We are collectively presiding over today’s funeral for Illinois because Madigan & Cullerton tossed us the keys. Immediately following this funeral we’ll turn out the lights.”
“No! Try it again, and Jim, sell me, sell me you believe this, like its from your heart, like you believe it. The rest of you, look determined, but no stand-off-ish… “
If Speaker Madigan refuses to compromise and pass our bill to sell the Thompson Center, we’ll take this place down ourselves. Grab a sledgehammer, Patti!
“…and, in that spirit, I join my colleagues here with me to voluntarily limit our own terms. We pledge to you today to step down from office at the conclusion of our current terms.”
We represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We demand a compromise that lets us win!
The House began to pitch, the leaders began to snitch
It forced the state of Illinois in the middle of a ditch
Which was caused by an unseen constitutional glitch
“If one ‘Rich Miller’ leaks one more memo, reports on one more private caucus discussions, even reports on one more caucus revolt… I’ll take him off MY speed dial and never leak him anyone of MY stuff… how about that?!”
“And now, we’re going to go around the room and have everybody introduce themselves and say a couple words. Where’s my floor leader? Jim, my floor leader, there he is, we’ll start with you.”
Blazing Saddles provides a treasure trove of lines and characters to add some levity to this mess. I think Durkin is a great Taggart to Rauner’s Hedley Lamarr.
“How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower somehow defeat a global superpower? How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire? Leave the battlefield waving Betsy Ross’ flag higher? Yo. Turns out we have a secret weapon, an immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in. He’s constantly confusin’, confoundin’ the British henchmen— ev’ryone give it up for America’s favorite fighting Frenchman! Batinick! Err… wait.”
I’m here to tell you Bruce Rauner is not a destroyer of Illinois. Bruce Rauner is the liberator of Illinois! The point is, ladies and gentleman, that the Agenda, for lack of a better word, is good. The Agenda is right, Bruce’s Agenda works. Bruce Rauner’s Agenda clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the de-evolutionary spirit. The Turnaround Agenda, in all of its forms; this Agenda for a pro-business life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And this Agenda, you mark my words, will not only save Illinois, but that other malfunctioning government we called the USA. Thank you very much.”
- Deft Wing - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:00 pm:
“We are collectively presiding over today’s funeral for Illinois because Madigan & Cullerton tossed us the keys. Immediately following this funeral we’ll turn out the lights.”
- Oneman - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:01 pm:
Clothing provided by the James Comey collection which can be found in the backdrop section of your local JC Penny.
- Huh? - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:01 pm:
The puppet gives the raunerite talking points.
- Lance Mannion - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:02 pm:
Funeral for a Friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqNkMnLD_uE
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:03 pm:
“I’ll start when Mr. Goldberg tells me… “
- Epic - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:03 pm:
If you look closely you can see the puppet strings coming from the Governors office.
- The Captain - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:04 pm:
“I paid $850,000 for a press conference and I couldn’t even get two display stands that were the same height.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:04 pm:
“No! Try it again, and Jim, sell me, sell me you believe this, like its from your heart, like you believe it. The rest of you, look determined, but no stand-off-ish… “
- LakeviewJ - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:05 pm:
If Speaker Madigan refuses to compromise and pass our bill to sell the Thompson Center, we’ll take this place down ourselves. Grab a sledgehammer, Patti!
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:06 pm:
“We’re just patsies, ya know, you just can’t throw us out here and tell us what to do. It’s not who we are… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:07 pm:
“Jim, either say it, or Bruce takes away the $850,000. Remember what happened to Christine… “
- AC - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:08 pm:
Resistance is futile, Democrats, you will be capitulate!
- Give Me A Break - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:10 pm:
Today, we the citizens of Rock Ridge.
- downstate commissioner - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:13 pm:
Group of people who will never be the Governor of Illinois
- Blago's Hare - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:13 pm:
If his hair was orange, The Leader would look just like Beaker from the Muppets.
- DeseDemDose - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:16 pm:
It’s an honor to be so blessed and chosen by my worshipful leader and golden goose today to repeat what he ordered me to say.
- Anon221 - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
And now, introducing, the Springfield Capitol Steps with their version of the Budget Side-Step.
- Ducky LaMoore - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
Okay, on the count of three, everyone look as crestfallen as possible… 1…2…
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:18 pm:
===Today, we the citizens of Rock Ridge===
Blazing Saddles references are always in order. lol
- Saluki - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:22 pm:
Jim Durkin Plays Fugue in D Minor, on a tiny keyboard built into the podium.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nnuq9PXbywA
- Winnin' - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:24 pm:
Woe is Us. We count too.
- Stumpy's bunker - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:26 pm:
“You have to admit: our enthusiasm is contagious.”
- Gruntled University Employee - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:27 pm:
Because Madigan!!!
I mean really, is there any other caption?
- @MisterJayEm - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:28 pm:
“Bruce Rauner is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”
– MrJM
- Grand Avenue - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:29 pm:
We might not have Powerball or Mega Millions, but now you can get your hands on a “Capitol Compromise” Scratch-off!
- Stumpy's bunker - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:31 pm:
“Yeah, like this is really going somewhere.”
subcaption:
“Does Satan REALLY have enough jack to save us all?”
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:31 pm:
“…and, in that spirit, I join my colleagues here with me to voluntarily limit our own terms. We pledge to you today to step down from office at the conclusion of our current terms.”
- Romeo - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:32 pm:
Is BlueRoomSteam a pay-per-view service?
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:33 pm:
We represent the Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
The Lollipop Guild
And in the name of the Lollipop Guild
We demand a compromise that lets us win!
The House began to pitch, the leaders began to snitch
It forced the state of Illinois in the middle of a ditch
Which was caused by an unseen constitutional glitch
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:37 pm:
“Whadda mean, think for myself… “
- Dick Butka - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:38 pm:
GOP legislators or Boers defending apartheid? Never can tell these days…
- (un)Happy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
“We had a longer list of compromises but we could only afford to print 8 lines”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
“What can I say, we got the short straws… “
- Mr. Smith - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
“Durkin only pawn in game of life…”
- BBG Watch - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:39 pm:
>>
Priceless! Thanks for the laughs!
- jimk849 - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:41 pm:
They promised me a whiteboard like Karl Rove. Where is my whiteboard?
- XDNR - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:42 pm:
“I thought we sold this building”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:45 pm:
“If one ‘Rich Miller’ leaks one more memo, reports on one more private caucus discussions, even reports on one more caucus revolt… I’ll take him off MY speed dial and never leak him anyone of MY stuff… how about that?!”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:46 pm:
“Will this actually go on Tee-Vee? Whoa.”
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:47 pm:
Dude furthest right: ‘hmmm, what’s that moving in Durkins hair?’
- Nick Name - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:48 pm:
“We are here to offer Democrats a laurel and hardy handshake.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:48 pm:
“I wanted to use PowerPoint, but I lack any power here so we though ‘what’s the point?’… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:49 pm:
“As you can see, it’s bipartisan, our approach… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:50 pm:
(Sigh) “What did Patterson say?”
(Pause)
“He’s not wrong… “
- Anonymous - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:51 pm:
Knowing Durkin drags on and on and on, Shorty brought her pink pillow for naptime
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:51 pm:
“Can’t you just WiFi in the Rauner Word Jumble report into the TelePrompTer?”
- don the legend - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:51 pm:
“We are too diverse. They’re short and I’m tall.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:54 pm:
“No. No, I don’t want that Pritzker Budget Clock in here, I don’t NEED props… “
- Joaquin - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:57 pm:
Let’s play, “Where’s Christine??”
- Redraider - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:58 pm:
Demmer, what are you doing here? You don’t support term limits or redistricting!!
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 3:59 pm:
“I was told no state university was going to close until Monday… Maybe Tuesday… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:01 pm:
“Wadda mean… WE’RE the props?!”
- AlfondoGonz - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:01 pm:
“And now, we’re going to go around the room and have everybody introduce themselves and say a couple words. Where’s my floor leader? Jim, my floor leader, there he is, we’ll start with you.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:05 pm:
“No, that’s my brother… No, that’s another brother… Nope… another brother… That’s my other-other brother… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:06 pm:
“When I was a Committee Chairman under Speaker Madigan… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:07 pm:
“No!… You make sure the $850,000 is IN my account, THEN we can begin this nonsense… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:09 pm:
“Oh, the IPI said that?!… we’ll… Lemme think about what that really means… “
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:11 pm:
“Afterwards? I’m heading to Wisconsin to buy lottery tickets… “
- Henry Francis - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:12 pm:
We’ve gotta protect our phoney baloney jobs!
-Gov. William J. LePetomane
Blazing Saddles provides a treasure trove of lines and characters to add some levity to this mess. I think Durkin is a great Taggart to Rauner’s Hedley Lamarr.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:16 pm:
“Oh yeah… You tell Rauner I ain’t no band leader… “
- Lance Mannion - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:24 pm:
“This is no boating accident!”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:25 pm:
“I came back to the House to this? I shoulda just stayed away…”
“Your mics on Leader Durkin… “
- Quizzical - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:26 pm:
And then anticipated impact on total revenue will be? …. Bueller? Bueller?
- Johnnie F. - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:35 pm:
Misery loves company.
- Wensicia - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:39 pm:
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:46 pm:
“Let’s give Scott Drury 3 more minutes, then we’ll start… “
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 4:48 pm:
“How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower somehow defeat a global superpower? How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire? Leave the battlefield waving Betsy Ross’ flag higher? Yo. Turns out we have a secret weapon, an immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in. He’s constantly confusin’, confoundin’ the British henchmen— ev’ryone give it up for America’s favorite fighting Frenchman! Batinick! Err… wait.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:01 pm:
Great Easter Egg… $10 worthy.
——————-
“Thank you.
I’m here to tell you Bruce Rauner is not a destroyer of Illinois. Bruce Rauner is the liberator of Illinois! The point is, ladies and gentleman, that the Agenda, for lack of a better word, is good. The Agenda is right, Bruce’s Agenda works. Bruce Rauner’s Agenda clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the de-evolutionary spirit. The Turnaround Agenda, in all of its forms; this Agenda for a pro-business life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And this Agenda, you mark my words, will not only save Illinois, but that other malfunctioning government we called the USA. Thank you very much.”
- DuPage Bard - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:02 pm:
San Dimas High School football rules!!
- walker - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:09 pm:
“I can’t get no respect.”
- Chicago 20 - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:12 pm:
Tea-Party Trickle Down Economics has failed miserably in New Jersey, Kansas, Louisiana, Wisconsin, and Michigan.
That’s why we really need Tea-Party Trickle Down Economics to fix Illinois.
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:20 pm:
goldberg told us to plug the holes in these bean bag boards, we can’t lose
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:25 pm:
They forgot to mention the 32% income tax hike they support.
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:27 pm:
The govenor has helped us get into a compromising position
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:28 pm:
That’s good old fashioned frontier gibberish.
- Biker - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:41 pm:
sorry this had to be slapped together so quicky, only had 2 years to work on it
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 5:47 pm:
Budget less Bruces portfolio
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 6:08 pm:
Two year traveling circus coming to Springfield for its final show
- Austinman - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 6:08 pm:
Get out of Chicago we don’t want you
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 7:19 pm:
The new GOP gift cards unveiling
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 7:29 pm:
Today we have been compromised by capital
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 7:57 pm:
I”am announcing bipartisan support for the removal of the govenor, get er done
- Huh? - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 8:02 pm:
The IGOP sextet tuning to to sing the no budget and blame Madigan blues.
- The Big Hurt - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 8:54 pm:
“We need another tall guy to balance the picture out”
- Fighting Illini - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 8:59 pm:
Finally, a group of people that are getting it right!
- xDNR - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 10:17 pm:
“Where’s Rodagno for this presser, oh yeah Rauner threw her under the bus, oh no Bruce please spare me!!”
- Rabid - Thursday, Jun 15, 17 @ 10:45 pm:
We all resign
- Whoelse - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 12:52 am:
Harry Potter got old quick!
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:09 am:
Downgrade Durkin and the turnarounds dance troupe
- The Real Just Me - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:21 am:
“Substantial compliance…I mean working for compromise…support as is…wait, what do I mean?”
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:28 am:
We have come to a consensus, we’re right your wrong join us
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:32 am:
This state is so poor we can’t even pay attention
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:35 am:
Win one for the govenor
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:40 am:
Tax boost Bruce brokers
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:44 am:
You know what 90% just ain’t good enough for us
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:49 am:
We take the promise out of compromise and are comped for it
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:54 am:
The forbidden duct tape skit
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 8:57 am:
Listen to his money talk
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 9:00 am:
Gop house flys circle the turnaround agenda
- Rabid - Friday, Jun 16, 17 @ 9:02 am:
I’d like to help you son but your to young to vote