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* Almost everyone’s caption yesterday on the photo of Mark pointing upwards focused on his goofy prediliction toward embellishment. Wordslinger’s was very funny…
“We landed right there, in the Sea of Tranquility. I remember telling Neil and Buzz, ‘you guys go ahead, I’m taking the rover over to a meeting with a delegation of the Klingons….”
I’ve asked Word to start thinking about writing for the front page, so it would be a bit of a conflict to give him the win.
Oswego Willy’s was the most comprehensively funny…
In this slide, I am rescuing a baby from a burning building, using only dental floss, a ball point pen, and gum …. next slide … this is me, at the 1980 Olympics in Moscow winning the Decathalon, and singing the national anthem - a very proud moment … next slide … this is me, with Elvis and with President Nixon in the Oval Office - what a card Elvis was! … next slide … This is me handing the ball off to William Perry a.k.a. the Fridge, in Super Bowl XX … next slide … this is me, on top of the Berlin Wall, saying “itch bein ein Berliner” … next slide … this is me, Begin, Sadat and Jimmy Carter at the White House - powerful meeting … next slide … this is me, Scotty Pippen, and Michael Jordan talking to Phil Jackson during a timeout …next slide … oh, this is me, and Ald. Dick Mell standing on our desks when I suggested Eugene Sawyer to be the next mayor of Chicago …next slide …
One day, he will win.
But “(618)662 Dem” captured Kirk’s personality tic perfectly and in the least number of words, so he gets the win…
See that mark up there, that’s how tall I am.
Sublime.
Please e-mail me to set up our evening of drinking.
Now, on to the question…
Caption?
posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:26 pm
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Previous Post: *** UPDATED x1 - Madigan sounds like a “No” *** “Whitey” and Lisa have different futures
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Pretty obvious–our state budget!
Comment by WI IL Transplant Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:28 pm
The unpaid invoices being sent to Springfield were delayed due to an outbreak of irony.
Comment by OneMan Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:29 pm
The 10% cut to transportation did not work out as well as Brady planned.
Quinn’s High Speed train runs into a snag.
Comment by Ghost Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:30 pm
Mark Kirk was standing on the tracks to stop this runaway train. He received not even a scratch.
Comment by Highland, IL Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:30 pm
The art in Millennium Park is really getting out of control.
Comment by JFL Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:31 pm
Leave the lumber, take the cannoli…
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:33 pm
Rod learned quickly that it would be much more difficult to cover up the consequences of mismanagement in this new conductor gig…
Comment by Small Town Liberal Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:35 pm
Once Pat Quinn had heard the train derailed he immediately ended the state ‘remove some track’ program. Immediately .
Comment by OneMan Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:35 pm
The Quinn campaign released it’s new logo this afternoon.
Comment by N'ville Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:36 pm
Jason Plummer’s 1st act as Lt. Governor was to get this train overpass fixed. No one thought he would literally take a bunch of 2 by 20s and lay them out over the tracks …
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:37 pm
Well, so much for that whole high speed rail thingy.
Comment by Montrose Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:38 pm
Illinois.
Comment by Moving to Oklahoma Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm
Governor Quinn, the set for your next commercial is ready.
Comment by Montrose Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm
To persuade people that Illinois is fine Governor Quinn announced a new program to bring jobs into Illinois and Bill Brady offered a 10% cut. In return the railroad decided to do the state a favor by cutting the state off from the US
Comment by Publius Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm
“So THAT’S what a penny looks like after being run over by a train.”
Comment by MikeMacD Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm
Illinois State Legislature.
Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:40 pm
Jason Plummers tax return disclosures where delayed when the train transporting them to the media was derailed by a pile of R.P. lumber which mysteriously appeared in the path of the train.
Comment by Ghost Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:41 pm
Quinn? Brady? Kirk? Alexi? Yeah, they’re all in there. They all said the had the cure for what ails Illinois. Ooops.
Comment by Deep South Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:44 pm
You know what an incident like this calls for? A forensic audit.
Comment by Montrose Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm
“Hello, Jerry … yeah, we blocked the train… there is no way Jason will make it to Chicago for that debate …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm
The Lee Abrams Express.
Comment by Boone Logan Square Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm
Who put that penny on the tracks? Not funny.
Comment by Squideshi Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:46 pm
Trouble with you is the trouble with me,
Got two good eyes but WE still don’t see.
Come round the bend, you know it’s the end,
The fireman screams and the engine just gleams…
Driving that train, high on cocaine,
Casey Jones you better, watch your speed.
Trouble ahead, trouble behind,
And you know that notion just crossed my mind.
Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:48 pm
We interrupt our coverage of this train derailment, for breaking Rahm Emanuel news.
Comment by Waco Kid Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm
Whadda ya mean we need more taxes for infrastructure, who needs infrastructure??? I got your infrastructure right here!!!
Calling 911 or another crappy day in America becomes a banana republic.
Comment by vole Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm
The latest winner of the Capitol fax caption contest, a train engineer, experiences difficulties returning home after an evening of consuming his prize…
Comment by Ghost Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm
“I don’t care how much his Dad paid you, Jason can’t ‘pretend’ to drive a train for a picture …”
Tom Cross is doing everything possible to keep the Madi-Goons in Chicago …
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:52 pm
Sarah Palin was elected President of the United States today.
Comment by LincolnLounger Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:53 pm
“The Quinn campaign released it’s new logo this afternoon. ”
Definitely loved that one, N’ville
Comment by Justin Boland Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:54 pm
Fairly new State Representative Michael Zalewski gets the State’s budget trainwreck dumped on his lap. Responding to the wreck, he states that he will get his people working on it right away.
The photo is a wreck that took place where the Indiana harbor Belt Crosses under the Burlington Northern in LaGrange and is in Zalewski’s district.
The fact that I recognized the location right away and am posting it on a political blog means that I seriously need to get a life!!! sheesh!!
train111
Comment by train111 Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm
Ummm… did you say “borrowing plan” or “burrowing plan”.
Comment by FOIA Fan Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm
“Basically an up day” - conductor Rod
Comment by ok Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm
You should see the other side.
Comment by Downstate Progressive Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:57 pm
Pat Quinn announced today that had it not been for his hard work, the small railway incident would have been much worse.
Comment by the Patriot Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:58 pm
Welcome to the campaign office, Sheila! Banjos go over by the (non-RP) lumber!
Comment by Nicky West Side Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:00 pm
Illinois: THIS is what you get no matter who wins the Governor’s race!!!!
Comment by ivoted4judy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:01 pm
Guess Michael Bay and Pat Quinn have more in common than we thought.
Comment by Aaron Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:04 pm
IL Politician: I know how to fix this mess, we will just face the other way and hope it goes away.
or
Apparently Tom McCan, cant.
Comment by Ghost Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:04 pm
It’s my first day.
Comment by Davey Boy Smithe Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:05 pm
Montrose beat me to it. Absolutely, we won’t know the extent of the problem until we have a forensic audit.
Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:05 pm
So here’s what happened, first they voted against letting a whole bunch of stuff out of Rules, then they voted against a tax increase, then they voted against big cuts, then they voted against just giving the Governor the broad authority to handle it himself and then they got drunk and left town.
What? (turns around) Yeah, that’s bad too.
Comment by The Captain Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:06 pm
Steve Kim and Robert Enriquez are found praying to the Train Wreck god hoping it will use its powers against Lisa and Jesse.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:06 pm
Ghost wins.
Comment by Deep South Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:07 pm
Somewhere a Blue Ribbon comission is forming.
Comment by The Captain Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:07 pm
I guess Driver 8 didn’t take that break.
h/t Michael Stipe
Comment by Jake from Elwood Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm
Ghost @ 12:50.
Comment by Deep South Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm
Yes Officer, that bridge just jumped in front of me…
Comment by VoterUSA Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm
On November 3rd, Pat Quinn began his new career as a train conductor.
Comment by Gunner the Runner Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:09 pm
Rich’s desk before the new computer arrived.
Comment by D.P. Gumby Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:10 pm
Oh no, we need to slow down high speed rail.
Comment by The Shadow Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:10 pm
Ok, you play this game just like pick up sticks.
Comment by dupage dan Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:11 pm
You see that guy under the bridge to the left–under the green covered hopper car–the one walking with the stick. That’s Mark Kirk examining the spot where he recently was wounded in a train wreck in West Subruban Cook County while singlehandedly evacuating hundreds of citizens out from under the bridge where they had taken refuge in a freak rainstorm.
train111
Comment by train111 Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:11 pm
The US Congress if Republicans win the House!
Comment by Change is on the way Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:13 pm
After this horrific train wreck, the Great and Prophetic David Axelrod is now banned from saying ‘Monsoon’, ‘like a tornado’ or ‘tidal wave’ in describing this election cycle, in fear of another disaster will begat from his powerful lips.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:18 pm
Governor Quinn says he should have this whole thing cleaned up by the end of the day.
Comment by Really?? Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:20 pm
Bill Brady immediately regretted saying that after he is elected, economic growth will be “steady like a train.”
Comment by Don't Worry About It Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:20 pm
Governor Pat Quinn’s new “Cleaning up Train Wrecks Commission” will have its report with a strategy to clear up the mess out by March 31, 2011.
Comment by David Ormsby Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:21 pm
Bill Brady blames Pat Quinn for the above mess that was actually caused by someone else. Pat Quinn talks about the jobs that he created because of the accident he made.
Comment by Ahoy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:21 pm
Result of train engineers blindly following the GPS.
Comment by whatever Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:22 pm
Rich, I won with Cohen/cannoli caption … I just haven’t won since!
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:27 pm
The Art Institute of Chicago’s interpretive rendering of Illinois’s financial situation.
Comment by RFR Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:31 pm
…witnesses reported seeing a squirrel being chased by Joe Biden just before the derailment
Comment by DzNuts Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:36 pm
Is that Salvador Dali’s take on what’s going on in Illinois?
Comment by Levois Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:38 pm
Illinois
Comment by Aldyth Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:38 pm
With respect to Ghost@12:50
Rich: Wheew that was some party.
OneMan: That’s for sure.
(618)662Dem: Who brought the dynamite?
Comment by Way Way Down Here Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:39 pm
The Tea Pary Express - who say’s we can’t fit through that tunnel!
Comment by CLJ Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:41 pm
“But we’re still gaining in the polls!”
Comment by Pat Robertson Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:44 pm
Eight years of Democrat progress in Illinois and all we got is this little old train crash.
Comment by DRB Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:47 pm
That’s what train wrecks looked like back in the 70’s. Today they look more like this….. quinnforillinois.com
Comment by We Todd Did Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:51 pm
Somebody needs to take the iPhone away from the “high-speed rail” conductor.
Comment by Ben Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:51 pm
Either candidate for gov: “just a minor setback …”
Comment by Retired Non-Union Guy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:52 pm
JP: “Dad, I know where we can get some lumber cheap!”
Comment by Retired Non-Union Guy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:53 pm
Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the driver’s seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkey’s got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said there’s a northbound livin’ on the same main line,
Open up the switch I’m gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkey’s got the locomotive under control.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
Bill Brady said, when he got wind of the plan,
I can’t stand to see a monkey earn as much as a man.
I support creationism, don’t believe in evolution,
if I don’t do something there might be a social revolution.
He aimed his assault rifle at the pet monkey’s head,
pulled the trigger and euthanized him dead.
The locomotive jumped the tracks and caused a chain reaction,
Bill Brady said, that’s my John Wayne leadership in action!
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
Apologies to Jesse Fuller.
Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:56 pm
Governor Quinn Announces Nearly 1500 Jobs to Chicago for Rail Project. . . . But Not Aboard This Train
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:00 pm
Blago’s new job new job as a Train Engineer not quite working out, never fear he will try airplane pilot next!
Comment by Suburban Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:03 pm
“You CALL Todd Stroger and tell him that his cousin is NOT cut out to be an engineer, no matter what favor he did for me!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:08 pm
Welcome to Illinois!
Pat Quinn
Governor
By Appointment Only
Comment by Quinn T. Sential Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:08 pm
Christo’s new piece ‘Pick Up Sticks’ makes its debut.
Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:09 pm
Since Daley said that he wasn’t going to run for re-election, things in Chicago just have never seemed to have been the same.
Comment by Cool Hand Luke Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:11 pm
Madigan, Quinn, and Cullerton standing there and trying to remember who’s supposed to be driving this train….
Comment by Judgment Day Is On The Way Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:13 pm
Look - a squirrel.
Comment by justbabs Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:17 pm
You know that “bridge” you said we would cross when we got to it … Well …Governor, we crossed the bridge, we just had trouble after that step ….
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:21 pm
Within minutes there were TV ads saying that this was the fault of Kirk, Alexi, Quinn, Brady and Hultgren
Comment by OneMan Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:25 pm
Those Iowans really don’t want us, do they?
Comment by Joe from Joliet Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:29 pm
See…I told you I’m more powerful than a locomotive.
Mark Kirk
Comment by SAP Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:30 pm
“In the wake of this tragedy, questions still linger. Why didn’t the failed stimulus prevent this? What was Rahm Emanuel’s role in the crash? This is William Kelly with WIND, signing off.”
Comment by Don't Worry About It Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:32 pm
Here is a picture from the first Kirk-Gianoulious debate. (2 trainwrecks)
Comment by Wumpus Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:35 pm
Chicago newspaper: “Rahm Emanuel spotted shaking hands at train station”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:37 pm
MrJM … classic!
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:39 pm
“A spokesman for the campaign did note that their penny was smashed very, very flat.”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:39 pm
One picture = IL financial catastrophe.
Comment by sal-says Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:41 pm
MrJM, that was one of the best comments ever.
Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:42 pm
“Remember, guys, this is Illinois in October with Quinn running against Brady - we’ve got four years before we have to clear this.”
Comment by aufjunk Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:45 pm
To steal MrJM’s idea:
Chicago Newspaper: “Rahm Emanuel not on board during deadly freight train accident”
Comment by Small Town Liberal Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:49 pm
Quinn, Madigan and Cullerton (in the middle) agreeing that all they need to do is get Scott Lee Cohen (on the left) off the ballot for Lt Gov and this train wreck will be cleaned up.
Brady and his gang (on the right) think the train wreck will never affect them and they will have a clear shot up the tracks.
Comment by Been There Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:55 pm
“Illinois Operation Lifesaver reminds you to look…listen…live.”
Comment by Segatari Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:56 pm
Illinois choices = trainwreck!!!!!!!
Comment by Rahm's Parking Meter Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:59 pm
Brady campaign spending millions just to have a prop for discussing ther economy.
Comment by kj Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:15 pm
The Oberweis campaign releases a copy of the stock photo they plan to use on his next campaign mailer.
Comment by ShadyBillBrady Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:16 pm
MrJM … Nothing compares … embarrassed I even posted!
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:17 pm
Davey Jones apparently did not watch his speed.
Comment by Prognosis Negative Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:19 pm
This is a bad way to start.
Comment by jt Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:23 pm
It’s a visual metaphor of the current financial condition of the state but its ok because each of our gubernatorial candidates was given a broom to sweep it all up
Comment by Fed-Up Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:24 pm
Let this be a warning to all those who want to change transportation policy in Illinois.
Comment by south side Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:31 pm
Prognosis Negative, it’s Casey Jones. Davey Jones is the dude with locker where Capt. Jack Sparrow went or the Brit with the tambourine from the Monkees.
Excellent handle from a great “Seinfeld,” though.
Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:38 pm
To paraphrase one of my all time favorite posts from Bill…..Ops.
Comment by Who Cares Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:53 pm
A previously unknown group calling itself “The Resistance” emerged in suburban Cook County this morning.
Comment by Way Way Down Here Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:56 pm
Hmm, perhaps the voters are correct and things are off track.
Comment by Majority of Me Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:59 pm
Both engineers involved claimed they could clean up the wreck at no cost and without interrupting any current train service. Each is also running for governor of Illinois.
Comment by chitownguy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:12 pm
Win an election and all this could be yours!
Comment by chitownguy Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:16 pm
Tea Party Express slams into slow moving Republican Party train.
Comment by anon sequitor Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:30 pm
“Train wreak? What train wreak? I don’t see any train wreak.” — Quinn
Comment by Wensicia Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:37 pm
Foster Blames Hulgren for Idaho Wreck. New Ad Claims One of Hultgren’s Former Employers Often Shipped Goods By Rail.
Comment by Skeeter Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:43 pm
Bill Brady: “As governor, I will call for a 10 percent across the board reduction in train derailments.”
Comment by Don't Worry About It Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 5:48 pm
Alexi’s latest investment in Burlington Northern with Bright Start funds continues his magic touch.
Comment by ourMagician Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 5:55 pm
PQ: “You furloughed the engineer? You idiot! I meant furlough IDOT engineers!
Comment by Park Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:21 pm
It’s not my fault, this guy Mark Kirk said he drove one with the Iraqi & Afghan Central for years.
Comment by just sayin' Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:37 pm
The high speed rail planning commission is going back to the drawing board.
Comment by Justice Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:56 pm
The fugitive’s name is Doctor Richard Kimball!
Comment by just sayin' Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:21 pm
Ohhhhh…I guess that explains why Kirk asked for a globe today and has been spinning it non-stop in a clockwise rotation since it arrived.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:30 pm
Expect a request from the Campaign later tonight, Rich, to post a “before” picture below the current one. Even superheros–no matter how determined–need to take a break to rest at some point.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:36 pm
Never mind. A squabble just broke out in front of him about whether it’s supposed to be clockwise or counterclockwise, he got upset, stopped spinning, and stomped off–mumbling something about updating his bio.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:58 pm
Speaking with reporters after the election, former Quinn Campaign Manager Ben Nuckles was asked about the Quinn campaign plan. Showing reporters a copy he stated, “as with most of my campaign plans, I prefer pictures instead of words.”
Comment by Red Ranger Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 9:55 pm
caption:Pat Quinn’s campaign.
Comment by Eileen Left Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 10:22 pm