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* I was up very late last night working, so this and the gubernatorial debate post should tide you over…

Make extra sure to keep it clean, please. Thanks.

posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 5:37 am

Comments

Mark Kirk’s fish story was the big.

Comment by The Dark Horse Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 5:55 am
I just had green eggs and ham…

Comment by VoterUSA Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 6:01 am
FDIC? What? Where? Must mean Funky Democrat is Cool, Mr. Kott-Air.

Comment by wordslinger Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 6:03 am
Hey………….I’m from Jersy! What’s your problem? Starbright Program? What Starbright Program?!?

Comment by South of I-80 Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 6:52 am
What you doing.

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 6:57 am
“When you’re a Jet, you’re a Jet all the wayyyy…”

Comment by Gregor Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:02 am
“So you’re telling me I’m having a nice hair day?”

Comment by Davey Boy Smithe Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:12 am
Barack moved left, and I tried to use his pick for the basket.

Comment by Cincinnatus Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:16 am
Don’t worry about Kirk, he’ll drop out. I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Comment by Wensicia Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:16 am
I not only look like the JOKER but I am the JOKER.

Comment by Joker Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:18 am
Coming to a theatre near you in the summer of 2011 – “Potomy Shore” staring…

Alexi Gianouliais aka The Legislation
Adam Kinzinger aka Da Kid
Tony Rezko aka T-Wow
Nancy Pelosi aka Snook Two
Michael Giorango aka Jaws
Rahm Emanuel aka Da Mayor

Tune in to watch the fireworks as this group of kids spend the summer together working on Capitol Hill.

“Rahm, No way your abs were ever this ripped, I don’t care how intense the ballet program was at Sarah Lawrence. I mean, look at me… just look at abs on The Legislation. And, Kinzinger put your shirt back on.”

Comment by budget boy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:24 am
Keyees called and said just pitch that little fairy overboard….he won’t be missed.

Comment by CircularFiringSquad Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:28 am
“Oh come on! Deals with Gangstas is just the Chicago Way. You know what I’m saying?”

Comment by Crazy Dayz Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:33 am
Come on voters, gimme a break. Do these look like a working man’s hands?

Comment by Vole Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:37 am
Make the loan and take the canoli

Comment by Oneman Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:40 am
Yeah, the call me “the Situation” too….

Comment by KaneGal Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 7:54 am
Eeeeyyyyy…
(Seriously, everytime I see him, I’m overcome with Fonzie references.)

Comment by MKA1985 Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:04 am
Alexi closes the gap with Mark Kirk by offering free dance lessons to suburban women in DuPage County.

Comment by cook county voter Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:06 am
Page 4

A) Calvin Klein Junior’s Trench - $79.99 EVERYDAY VALUE. Only at Macy’s!

Comment by ok Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:13 am
Alexi starts Rick-rolling voters at a campaign stop.

Comment by ok Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:15 am
I gotta see a guy about a thing.

Comment by Boone Logan Square Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:16 am
How you doin???? You need a loan? I know a guy……

Comment by Rahm's Parking Meter Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:19 am
So the bank secretary comes into the meeting and says, “Alexi, your mommy is on the phone.” (that’s from a story Alexi told about himself at least 100 times to local government officials)

Comment by One of the 35 Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:24 am
Hey….Who’s pickin up my check?

Comment by He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:25 am
I was at this cool hotel in Miami, maybe we shouldn’t shake hands.

Comment by Jeff Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:27 am
Don’t tell anyone….but I’m really Clark Kent!

Comment by SouthernIL Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:28 am
“Don’t you know you I am?” -actual quote my coworker’s wife told me when she met Alexi at Northwestern hospital a few years ago when he wanted to know why his cousin couldn’t be put in a room facing Lake Michigan.

Comment by Davey Boy Smithe Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:30 am
“The Aristocrats!”

– MrJM

Comment by MrJM Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:31 am
You’re gonna make me an offer I can’t refuse.

Comment by Amalia Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:31 am
On one hand I left day to day operations at the bank, on the other hand I was still helping out but not involved in day to day operations.

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:44 am
If “Don’t you know who I am?” has ever passed your lips, you’re not a cool as you think you are.

Comment by Way Way Down Here Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:47 am
On the day after the election, Alexi describes to his buddy Barack the size of “The One That Got Away”.

Comment by Cool Hand Luke Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:48 am
So then she says, “this handsome young man,” and I hadn’t really been listening until then and I was all like, is she talking about me or Barack? Me? Or Barack?

Comment by Zora Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:49 am
“I know I said $100K earlier, but the new deal is if you bring $50K of contributions, I’ll get you into a basketball game with Obama. But I gotta have the money this week.”

Comment by Carl Nyberg Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:53 am
Alexi auditioning to be one of the back-up singers for Gladys Knight “shaa naa naa…..”

Comment by Interested Observer Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:57 am
I’m wearing this name badge so I know who I am.

Comment by Cincinnatus Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 8:58 am
My Ego is this big. Don’t you forget it.

Comment by ah AH Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:03 am
“Dude, so like, I got in this Senate thing and everyone said I was TOTALLY tanking. Broadway failure, mob loans, Bright Start losses, paper-thin resume, yada yada. But then from out of nowhere this Kirk dude soooo got nailed on his resume and now I’m in like Flynn. Uncle Barry, here comes that small forward you need for your pickup team. Score!”

Comment by Independent Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:04 am
“Dude, I’m Alexi, I’m Obama’s wing-man!!”

Comment by Wardley Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:04 am
You shoulda seen this chick from last night.

Comment by JCIII Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:10 am
No I am not Bowzer from Shan-na-na but I can do an impression

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:10 am
Ok first, I need one of those sacks of concrete about this big….

Comment by A.B. Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:13 am
“Yeah, from what I hear Rich Miller needs about this much coffee to keep up with me forthe rest of the campaign!”

Comment by fedup dem Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:18 am
So I grabbed the cannoli…

Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:19 am
Fuggetaboutit!

Comment by Really?? Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:22 am
So, ya see, if I lose this election, my family’s bank is there as a back-up….oh, yeah…well, I’ve still got my basketball moves, so I’ve got that goin’ for me.

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:24 am
So I told the voters I left the bank in Dec, but I told the Feds I left the bank in May. I am so slick!

Comment by Wumpus Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:24 am
Everytime I try to stop loaning money to da mob, dey pull me back in..

Comment by Team America Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:25 am
Excuse me. Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance around here?

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:28 am
So I at one of my girls houses, yadda yadda yadda. Kirk is out.

Comment by He gone... Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:29 am
You talkin’ to ME?!!…You talkin’ to ME??!!!

Comment by just sayin' Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:30 am
I’m stylin’ I’se got my suit jacket, my polartec vest and my overcoat… I’m ready for anything.

Whadda ya mean it’s raining outside?

Comment by Njardar Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:32 am
The enthusiasm gap used to be “this” big before Kirk got caught on tape and woke up the sleeping giant.

Comment by The Captain Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:33 am
I was brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by my friends, Barack… and Dick. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which has been true throughout time. Be excellent to each other. And… PARTY ON, DUDES!

(I can’t shake the Bill & Ted thing.)

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:33 am
Eugene, stay classy.

Comment by The Captain Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:34 am
So, you really think I could pick up where Vanilla Ice left off?

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:35 am
How you doin’?

Comment by Aaron Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:39 am
Hi I’m Alexi and I got a hair lip

Comment by Levin Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:40 am
So this is what we did. We had the guys go out and buy up and destroy all the NY Times copies that just had that really favorable David Brooks column on Kirk. So, unless voters read it on the internet, I think I’m still OK.

Comment by Responsa Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:43 am
The great thing about being here at Manny’s is I can see my political friends AND my old bank customers. In fact, I first met Barack here. I think it was “Jaws,” I mean Michael, who brought me here that day.

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:44 am
“Duuuuuude,
what do you mean there is no smoothie machine in the break-room here, you could have a claim for a hostile work environment if that’s the case.

Comment by Quinn T. Sential Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:46 am
Mothers want to adopt him. Women want to tame him. Men want to be him. The IRS wants to audit him.

Comment by phocion Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:52 am
See, I am just like Obama! I just got the corned beef, a potato pancake, and a slice of cherry pie. For God’s sake, how much more proof do you people need?

Comment by Frank Skeffington Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 9:55 am
I’m bringing sexy back to the Senate.

Comment by Obama's Puppy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:05 am
“I’m on a horse.”

Comment by ok Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:08 am
You don’t want the Rolex?

Comment by Living in Oklahoma Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:14 am
Hey could you pay for this. I lost all my money when the bank I owned went under.

Comment by Fed up Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:16 am
Can I help it if I was born a millionaire?
Can I help it that I’m a young banker’s son?
Can I help it that the family bank gave loans to criminals?
Can I help it if Barack wanted Lisa instead of me?
Can I help it if Bright Start lost millions?
Can I help it if my bank collapsed?
Can I help it if I don’t remember when I wasn’t with the bank?
Can I help it I made millions when my bank collapsed?
Can I help it that my only interest is basketball and me?

See, I’m the victim here. Just like you.

But you are not a young multi-millionaire basketball player with powerful political friends. So do the right thing and set me up in DC to be your god for the rest of my life because the bottom linis I’m cool now. I’m attractive now. And you ain’t gonna want me in another ten years when I look like you.,

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:19 am
Yeah were pulling out all the stops this election in Crook county. No one will vote for Rich whitey and we have Michelle Obama electioneering in the polling place the Chicago machine can’t be stopped so get on board

Comment by Fed up Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:22 am
“Hey is that Richie Cunningham …oops sorry Mark!”

Comment by KnuckleHead Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:22 am
I’m also running for Gov. As Rich Whitey.

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:25 am
You call those jazz hands? These are jazz hands!

Comment by We Todd Did Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:28 am
I am the real Rich Whitey running this year.

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:31 am
Do I amuse you? Do I make you laugh?

Comment by WRMNpolitics Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:34 am
Anon 10:25 leads the pack. Rich Whitey is inspired. Wish I had thought of it.

Comment by wordslinger Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:36 am
You wouldn’t understand, it’s a Greek thing, see.

Comment by Bluefish Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:37 am
So the music ends and I ever so gently bend her back like this…and I’m tellin’ ya man, it was magic…magic…

Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:37 am
“Hey, I ‘m Mark Kirk, I’m so cool I misremeber how cool I am!”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:39 am
Wait till you see what I can do with the federal treasury

Comment by Plutocrat03 Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:40 am
So I was down in Miami with Jaws, rollin up on this chick at this club and….ayy, yooo, what’s wit the pictures, I’m tryin to have conversation ova here

Comment by ANON Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:41 am
Heeyy, Tony….I gave you that Big Fat Greek..uh..loan..yeah, that’s it. Now I just need this one little favor in return…his name is Kirk and he’s been bothersome. Can you take care of this one little thing for me??

Comment by Suburbs Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:43 am
Senate candidate Alexi Giannoulias asks a voter if he can borrow a napkin after he got grease on his hands at a famous south side deli.

According to Mark Kirk, the voter should have first looked into Giannoulias’ background before deciding to loan him the napkin.

Comment by Siriusly Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:46 am
I wish the bank loans I made were as Kosher as the corned beef I just ate and can now feel backing up…

(Manny’s Deli Reference as that’s where the photo is from)

Comment by Helm Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:47 am
MrJM at 8:31 is absolutely best so far. If you don’t get it…sorry.

Comment by Adam Smith Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:55 am
“Let me be perfectly consistent - 2006…2005, 2005…2006″

Comment by 10th Indy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:58 am
“It’s Alexi.. with an ‘A’…I’m kind of a big deal.”

Comment by DisplacedIllinoisan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 10:58 am
Alexi describes in detail his chance encounter and photo op with Miss Foozie.
Reference: Capital Fax Blog (6/30/10)
Also, methinks this guy is one shaving removed from a severe unibrow.

Comment by Jake from Elwood Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:02 am
Looks like Ali G is about to kick a freestyle! Oh snap!

Comment by Barton Lorimor Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:07 am
“Hey, I’m Alexi, you guys know me … It’s lunch time, so let’s talk to some patrons …Hey there, I like your sandwich … you’re hungry? … so you like deli food, what’s with that … well, it’s great to meet you, say hello to your mother for me, ok…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:10 am
Which one of youse guys is Jaws?

Comment by Josh Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:12 am
“Hey Bristol, let’s dance.”

Comment by Crystal Clear Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:13 am
Doing the Employment Date Cha-Cha here is Alexi and his partner Alexi

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:18 am
“So, Judy asks, do YOU Polka … do I Polka???”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:18 am
Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop to look around every once in a while, you could miss it.

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:20 am
Where is the Windex?

Comment by The Truth is Out There Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:29 am
Excuse me, I’m a new student here at Lane Tech. How’s the meatloaf?

Comment by Phineas J. Whoopee Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:30 am
I can’t believe this man is about to be a United States Senator. What a joke!

Comment by west side don Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:30 am
He doesn’t even vote when he’s not on the ballot

Comment by west side don Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:31 am
Hey, have I got a bridge to sell you. Driven over only once–to a Bright Start!
or
I am just like Jimmy Stewart in Its a Wonderful Life. In banking, its just doing right with Family and friends.

Comment by OptimistTurnedCynic Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:32 am
I think MrMJM had a great one. Here’s mine:

I’m funny how? Like a clown?

Comment by 815 Ω Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:32 am
To quote an SNL parody of another fine Greek: “I can’t believe I’m losing to this guy”

Comment by ANON Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:34 am
So when I was in Miami i said to Snooki, ‘hey you want to come with me to meet this Jaws guy’, and she totally came with. It was sick hanging with a girl named Snooki and a dude named jaws.

Comment by mongoose Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:46 am
So, the secret handshake of our frat starts like this…..

Comment by dupage dan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:47 am
Yo, yo, yo, s’up?

Comment by dupage dan Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:48 am
All we hear is Alexi rapping Bruno Mars’ song, “I wanna be a billionaire”:

I wanna be your senator so fricking bad
Karl Rove won’t buy me tv ads
Uh, I wanna be on the cover of GQ magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the Dream (Barack)

Oh everytime I close my eyes, hope and change are on my mind
Mark Kirk really sucks as a leg-is-lator
That’s why I am running to be your senator

Comment by Twisted scorpios Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 11:51 am
“We had people from Manny’s deliver lunch to Broadway Bank at 11:45 a.m. every day during the first half of 2006 . . . . I mean 2005.”

Comment by The End Is Near Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 12:03 pm
If I’d been flying over enemy territory taking fire, I would have picked up a 50-caliber machine gun and started shooting back.

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 12:12 pm
whassssssssssssssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppp

Comment by shore Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 12:20 pm
and you guys thought Fonzie was cool, AAYYYY…

Comment by Phineas J. Whoopee Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 12:26 pm
I don’t care if Mark Kirk wiped down tables when he was here, I’m not carrying my tray to the trash can. I’ve got people for that, and they should be here shortly.

Comment by Vote Quimby! Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 12:58 pm
Of course, you’re right. My first assignment is to get rid of US Attorney Fitzgerald. But a pardon for Rezko? Geez. How much power does a US Senator have?

Comment by Cook County Commoner Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 1:05 pm
“I’m going to take a nap. When I wake up, if the money is on the table, I’ll know I have a partner. If it isn’t, I’ll know I don’t.”

Comment by not applicable Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 1:28 pm
Joey voice: how you doin!

Or

So I was all up in obama’s face, he tried to move on me, I tossed him an elbow and scored the bucket.

Comment by ghost Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 1:31 pm
AAAAAAH! I’m the Fonz!

Comment by "Old Timer Dem" Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 1:41 pm
“Just when I thought I was out…they pulled me back in.”

Comment by Murfe82 Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 2:37 pm
OK, I knew I was pushing it, but what about Eugene at 9:28am?

Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 3:43 pm
Now come here and give me a hug you big palooka.

Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 3:49 pm
I am not Rich Whitey, that is Jim Oberweis…

Comment by He gone... Friday, Oct 15, 10 @ 4:44 pm
I’m just saying…not up in here mark kirk, not up in here.

Comment by dumb ol' country boy Saturday, Oct 16, 10 @ 6:07 am
So win I did polka with Judy, right, I placed my hands here like this, and then I swayed my hips like this……

Comment by dumb ol' country boy Saturday, Oct 16, 10 @ 6:09 am
“Ok, here’s my Howdy Doody face…do you like that one?”

Comment by D.P. Gumby Saturday, Oct 16, 10 @ 1:31 pm