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Caption Contest!

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Illinois

* A somewhat odd photo of yours truly at a recent speaking engagement…

Winner gets something or another. Not sure. I’ll decide later.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:39 am

Comments

“Some pictures look better at lower resolution”

Comment by John Bambenek Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:40 am
Proof that Sasquatch exists.

Comment by Frank Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:45 am
A recent video released by Al-Qaida proves that Rich Miller of Capitol Fax fame is indeed alive and being held captive at a Double Tree somewhere along the Pakistan border.

Comment by Old Shepherd Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:46 am
When the Myth Busters team examined a recent photograph presented as proof of the existence of the Big Muddy Monster, they found that the “Monster” was actually a Springfield man who has a history of being mistaken for a hairy beast.

Comment by Pot calling kettle Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:47 am
My first impulse was to go with what Frank wrote but he beat me to it. Might be a rough day Sasquatch jokes-wise, Rich.

Comment by Ben Gazzara Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:47 am
“And the Bleeping Golden Horsehoe Award for the highest price paid for a political office goes to . . .”

Comment by Pat Robertson Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:49 am
The only known color photo of President James A. Garfield.

Comment by Living in Oklahoma Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:51 am
Political whiz Rich Miller clarified the state’s financial problem last week, saying, “So either the income tax must be raised or all of the prison residents will have to go without underwear. Governor Quinn has told us about his refrigerator use and some of his other personal practices but we hope he will not tell us about his underwear use. His advisors and some assistant attorneys general are said to be researching case law on whether non-provision of underwear for prisonsers constitutes cruel and/or unusual punishment.”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:51 am
“In Illinois News today, the ‘Shroud of Capitol Fax’ was discovered today, adding fuel to the speculation that Rich Miller a real person, and is the “end all, be all” of Political Intellegence, and not just 3 pages of Fax received.

The Faithful have always believed, but this shroud used by Rich wrap himself up to sleep at the Capitol reinforces that belief. The Shroud stained with sweat, beer, and mustard makes the Rich Miller legacy real to all who got their Political Intellegence … via Fax.”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:55 am
“I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip hip a hop, and you don’t stop a rock it, to the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat…”

Comment by Anonymiss Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:57 am
This is one of George Seurat’s last works, “Journaliste Entreprenant Parlant à un Déjeuner d’Affaires à l’Hôtel de Deux Arbres.” As you can see, the artist’s signature pointillism has developed to create an almost photographic image. However, some of Seurat’s earlier stylistic flourishes remain. Notice, for example, how the curve of the speaker’s hair is repeated in the beard and again in the logo on the podium…

Comment by soccermom Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:58 am
“As you can see right here in this never-before seen 8mm film still of the incident, the Martini olive came from the back and to the left … back and to the left … back and too the left…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:58 am
Brains… must eat brains…

Comment by Mike Ins Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:58 am
Using an amazing new invention, an unknown photographer showed how the world looks to Rich Miller during an early morning speech.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:59 am
Despite reports to the contrary, Merlin Olsen is alive and well and speaking at the Double Tree.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 11:59 am
“In reality … Douglas is a great speaker, and what Douglas said in Ottawa will make him a great senator for Illinois. But I will tell you, I have been around the Capital for a long time … that Lincoln, although he IS going to lose to Douglas …Lincoln is going places.”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:00 pm
I represent the Rent is Too Damn High Party.

My main job is to provide a roof over your head, food on the table, and money in your pocket.

LISTEN! Someone’s stomach, your child’s stomach just growled. Did you hear it? Gotta listen like me.

Comment by South Side Mike Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:03 pm
South Side Mike …

Hilarious!

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:04 pm
soccermom sort of beat me to it, but all the same, I’ll offer:

“Speaking at the Double Tree this afternoon is nice and all, but it sure ain’t La Grande Jatte.”

Comment by Willie Stark Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:07 pm
Willie, it’s nice to see that some individuals of cultivation and refinement read this blog. Merci bien.

Comment by soccermom Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:09 pm
Standing before us is a man too good looking for his height.

Comment by Justice Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:11 pm
“Cook County Commissioner Larry Suffredin, who has recently begun coloring his beard, shown speaking at a recent event at the Doubletree Hotel.”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:20 pm
In his last work Georges Seurat painted Tuesday at the Double Tree with Rich

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:20 pm
Old bloggers never die, they just fade away.

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:21 pm
See I am not a puppet of anyone, no strings attached to these arms.

Comment by Give Me A Break Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:22 pm
Looks about right to me, but then again, I have been hitting the cold medicine a lot the past couple of days.

Comment by Lester "Jak" TIchenor Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:24 pm
Suddenly, in the middle of a speech on the demise of print media, Rich Miller is suddenly taken away with a Romulan transporter beam and taken to the basement floor of the Wrigley building.

Comment by Ghost of John Brown Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:26 pm
No need to adjust your monitor. No, your screen doesn’t need to be cleaned. No, you don’t need glasses. No, the camera was perfectly focused.

He really looks like that.

Comment by jerry 101 Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:28 pm
“…You see, she thought I was Mayor Daley.”

Comment by God's Country Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:33 pm
Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, it’s Rick Pearson!!!

Comment by Scooby Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:35 pm
Lets be crystal clear! When you on the Capitol Fax Blog, You are a guest in my world!

Comment by Ruler Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:36 pm
Springfield, Illinois. November 5, 1955.

Dr. Brown: “Great Scott! This photo is proof of what can happen when you disrupt the space-time continuum. After getting you home to 1985, you must destroy this infernal time machine!”

Rich: “This is heavy!”

Comment by Old Shepherd Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:38 pm
this is a simulation of Rich Miller looking in mirror after the last day of session party…he was heard mumbling to himself, “I shoudn’t have had those last few shots. I can’t feel a thing with my hands…how am I gonna type the blog tonight?”…

Comment by Loop Lady Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:40 pm
“but my hair looks really, really good”…

Comment by Loop Lady Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:41 pm
New gig as a Lincoln impersonator…

Comment by Prairie Wind Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:42 pm
An undated photo of Kris Kringle, aka Santa Claus. It is believed to be from his early days of campaigning against the Burgermeister Meisterburger and his anti-child policies prior to gaining more weight and going gray.

Comment by Lefty Lefty Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:42 pm
“With Blago providing material, building CapFax into a global media empire was so easy, a caveman could do it.”

Comment by Anon Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:44 pm
“My brother and I would like to urge everyone to give the gift of cough drops this holiday season”

Comment by Hank Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:44 pm
Look, it’s George Bernard Shaw!

Comment by dupage dan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:44 pm
Proof that Ewoks really exist. In this photo, an Ewok wearing a suit impersonates blogger Rich Miller.

Comment by The Geek Marine Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:47 pm
” No matter what you do you guys are screwed…and now for the bad news”

Comment by Bill Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:51 pm
Today Wikileaks released this photo which shows the mastermind believed to be running the Illinois government in such a way, that citizens, reporters, and politicians are forced to rely on the capitolfax.com to know what is going on in the state.

Comment by Pot calling kettle Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:55 pm
Morning Shorts

Comment by Scooby Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:57 pm
I sure hope that logo is a tree.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 12:59 pm
Bill’s quote was pretty much taken straight from the speech.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:00 pm
… after being pardoned in Florida Jim Morrison reveals that he is alive and living in Illinois. Although he has really let himself go over the years.

Comment by Spliff Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:01 pm
Rich Miller’s hypnotism marketing class is starting to pay off. Miller: “You are getting sleepy… you will purchase a blog ad..maybe 2…”

Comment by DC Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:03 pm
“Now here’s a little story I’ve got to tell About three bad brothers you know so well It started way in history with…” - very Beastie Boyish…

Comment by GetOverIt Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:07 pm
I know what dude I am. I’m the dude playin’ the dude, disguised as another dude! …

Comment by Spiny Norman Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:11 pm
Mm-kay. Can we come to order please, people? Mm-kay. I wanted to review the ground rules for you new folks. First rule of Blog Club: Don’t talk about Blog Club.

Comment by rdb66 Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:18 pm
“So I’ve noticed lately that if you ask the Burris a question in just the right pitch, he freezes up, like this…”

QOD suggestion- Where you when you heard two years ago today?

Comment by Scott217 Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:25 pm
Hello…I’m not wearing any pants…

Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:28 pm
I’d like to say that picture is blurry, but that’s the only way I’ve every actually seen Rich in person, so I really don’t have a frame of reference.

Comment by Erwin Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:38 pm
My Illinois journey, Kankakee , Clifton, Chicago ,Springfield , then lead me to a remote cabin deep in the Shawnee Forest where my Manifesto was written. Then ……

Comment by x ace Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:46 pm
After many grueling months of round-the-clock election coverage on minimal sleep, Rich Miller suffered a bout of narcolepsy in mid-speech. Some of the audience refused to wake him for fear of “risking permanent banishment without warning.” Others argued something, anything!, must be done at once to solve the problem. The audience devolved quickly into camps angrily pontificating their own point-of-view for hours on end, resulting in absolutely no concrete action whatsoever. The audience members even refused to return to their real jobs rather than concede their position in the argument. This went on all day and Mr. Miller’s beard grew longer while he slept. Then it was realized Miller was being paid by the hour, so someone known only as “anonymous” hid behind a chair and awoke Miller with a well-placed spitball to the forehead. Stunned into alertness, Miller exclaimed, “I am the Lizard King!”

Comment by Statewide Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:49 pm
Sorry Girls, He’s Married.

Comment by MrJM Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:54 pm
You know the state’s budget is bad shape when they’re making cut backs on digital camera resolution

Comment by PFK Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:58 pm
Tuesday at the Double Tree with Rich…

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:06 pm
Scotty you are losing him, beam him up

I know Captain but we don’t have enough power to handle that beard…

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:07 pm
Rich Miller sets the bar low for his New Year’s resolution.

Comment by LakeviewJ Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:12 pm
The Phantom slowly, gravely, silently approached. When it came, Quinn bent down upon his knee; for in the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to scatter gloom and mystery.

It was shrouded in a deep thick beard, which concealed its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been difficult to detach its figure from the night, and separate it from the darkness by which it was surrounded.

He felt that it was tall and stately when it came beside him, and that its mysterious presence filled him with a solemn dread. He knew no more, for the Spirit neither spoke nor moved.

“I am in the presence of the Ghost of Budgets Yet To Come?” said Quinn.

The Spirit answered not, but pointed downward with its hand.

“You are about to show me shadows of the bond ratings that have not happened, but will happen in the time before us,” Quinn pursued. “Is that so, Spirit?”

The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. That was the only answer he received.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:15 pm
“Fortunately, I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.”

Comment by ToddAF Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:16 pm
I’m not going to mention the name of this hotel. I’ll just say it has two trees in its logo.

Comment by Homer J. Simpson Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:18 pm
Before the iconic “Campbell’s Soup Can” portrait made Andy Warhol a household name in American Art, he also did this work, called “Miller High Life.”

Comment by No Peotone Airport Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:19 pm
In a somewhat skewed attempt to motivate his impressionable Future Bloggers of America audience recently, Miller (pictured above) noted in his closing remarks, “So what I’m saying is, these hands are registered lethal weapons, baby. For politicians. And so can you. Bang! I’m out.”

Comment by Former Titan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:20 pm
“I once caught an Asian Carp this big. Seriously.”

Comment by Former Titan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:24 pm
“I speak to you through the dense fog that has settled over the Doubletree, much as Gov. Quinn speaks through the dense fog that has clouded his every judgment.”

Comment by Skeeter Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:30 pm
The SETI project was thrilled as the signal from Alpha Centari became recognizable.

Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:33 pm
Always loved those early Dean Martin Celebrity Roast clips of Foster Brooks. Alcoholics Unanimous…..Magnanimous….Amalgamous…..AA.

Comment by washedmyhands Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:38 pm
Calling it a “fad” that will soon fade away like the Internet, Springfield, Illinois refuses to embrace digital photography.

Comment by just sayin' Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:49 pm
Representative Bill Black makes his second to last farewell address.

Comment by Siriusly Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 2:55 pm
“i would like to announce my candidacy for mayor of chi……”

Comment by dan l Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:01 pm
I’ve been rubbing the balloons on my beard for three months now. There’s so much static electricity stored up that I appear fuzzy — and almost fade into the background.

One more week of beard rubbing and I will be invisible. Then I sneak into Madigan’s office and hear what he says to Mapes.

Comment by Quizzical Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:15 pm
Springfield through the eyes of Monet

Comment by SkokieSwift Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:18 pm
In a last ditch effort to pass medical marijuana Zach Galifianakis makes a rare early morning Springfield apperance

Comment by prairiestatedem Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:20 pm
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 1:00 pm:

Bill’s quote was pretty much taken straight from the speech.

is bill really mike noland?

Comment by old fashioned traditionalist Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:39 pm
Even though the bleacher seats for “How Springfield Works With Rich Miller” cost him $450 Pat Quinn was happy to get this photo with his Kodak Instamatic, the hard part was finding someone who develops 110 film.

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:40 pm
Sorry, I just washed my hands and can’t do a thing with them.

Comment by Lefty Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:45 pm
due to budget cutbacks, the local paper shot the event with a Kodak Disc camera.

Comment by piling on Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:54 pm
The art world was stunned today when a previously unknown Ralph Steadman painting sold for a record $100 million. The winning bidder was former Illinois Governor James Thompson, who announced that he was donating the painting to the state of Illinois, where it will be hung in the state capitol.

Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 3:57 pm
Test shots of the new camcorder Miller gave his interns, after discovering a budget deficit while paying his bar tab.

Comment by Newsclown Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:15 pm
i think soccermom wins

Comment by Leroy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:18 pm
I hereby withdraw my blog post that criticized the photographer’s union for protecting pensions that are exorbitant and completely unnecessary!

Comment by Wensicia Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:28 pm
We’re not sure how old Rich is, but this picture was taken by Matthew Brady.

Comment by Joe from Joliet Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:31 pm
Monet lives!!!!

Comment by Observing Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:32 pm
“As Gen. Robert E. Lee rides off into the sunset upon his faithful steed, Traveler, and as I return in triumph to Galena, let me just offer this tantalizing little tidbit: I think the White House may be in my future.”

Comment by Responsa Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:42 pm
“Santa Visits Local Double Tree, Backs Byrne”

Comment by TrueChicagoan Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:44 pm
You think the photo is out of focus? You should have heard the speech.

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:48 pm
If Rich wore his tan suit, he’d be practically invisible in this photo.

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 4:49 pm
Commonsense in Illinois wins the prize!

Comment by Bill Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 5:19 pm
“Paul Masson will sell no wine before its time.”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 5:23 pm
–”As Gen. Robert E. Lee rides off into the sunset upon his faithful steed, Traveler, and as I return in triumph to Galena, let me just offer this tantalizing little tidbit: I think the White House may be in my future.”–

Grant? Maybe.

I’d suggest more like Sherman — through Georgia.

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 6:07 pm
–”Paul Masson will sell no wine before its time.”–

An Orson Welles shot? That’s old school.

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 6:11 pm
Fuzzy Springfield Navel Gazer

Comment by amalia Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 6:28 pm
This is what you start seeing when listening to KFOG radio.

Comment by Blue Dog Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 7:28 pm
“I told Jimmy ‘The Luftansa Heist was my idea & I wanted my money.’ Others were wearing it that night I told Henry. Then Jimmy charged me 3 points above the vig, & Jimmy wanted his money ‘today, you pay me today’ …”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 8:08 pm
fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
fuzzy wuzzy has lotsa hair
the capitol fax blog is his lair
if you curse or slur be aware
he will write you off with glee
and when he does, he’ll say, “bite me”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Dec 9, 10 @ 8:36 pm