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* Scott Stantis is running a caption contest, but it was too good to pass up here…
Winner gets a box of chocolates.
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:11 pm
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“Any ideas …”
“Only one … Madigan!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:17 pm
“This was retaliation for Billy Batts … and alot of other things…”
“Leave the chalk, take the cannoli”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:19 pm
“Told you … they should have those speeding cameras in Fairyland too.”
“Never cross the Easter Bunny …”
“Well, you think this will get me out of getting something for my wife?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:22 pm
Here goes nothing…..
February 14th, 2013: Chicago Police stand over the body of an unidentified infant. According to the police report, they were forced to shoot & kill the winged-infant after he drew back his unregistered recurve bow & attempted to fire upon a young couple who were reportedly having an intimate picnic in the park. Recurve bows are required to be registered with the State of Illinois, effective January 1, 2013 at a cost of $65 per bow (and $3 per arrow), a law which Moyor Emmanual pushed through the IL General Assembly last spring.
Comment by TCB Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:26 pm
“… when arriving at the scene the Cherub’s last words were ‘Rosebud’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:28 pm
“Are we considering love a weapon of mass destruction?”
Comment by Anon Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:33 pm
“Great, now who the heck do we call for ‘next of kin’, the Tooth Fairy?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:33 pm
“I just can’t figure it out, Captain. What the heck was Mitch Daniels doing standing in the street wearing wings and holding a bow and arrow?”
Comment by Small Town Liberal Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:34 pm
“I haven’t seen one this bad since video killed the radio star.”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:34 pm
“Let’s see the medical examiner lose THIS one!”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:36 pm
“What a shame. Word is Kenny Williams was hoping he could start in right field next year.”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:38 pm
“Let’s write this one a ticket for possessing a deadly weapon without proper rahmistration.”
Comment by reformer Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:38 pm
Skip the drawing. It’s a fraud, like doze “crop circles”.
Comment by Kasich Walker, Jr. Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:39 pm
Both political parties in Illinois issued press releases blaming each other
It turns out XTC’s I am The Man Who Murdered Love was more literal than I expected.
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:43 pm
If there had only been a speed camera in front of the “Love School”
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:43 pm
Bring in the usual suspects
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:44 pm
“You know, your Ex-Wife said something about killing the love … “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:44 pm
“That will teach the little citizen from trying to video tape us performing our official duties!”
“Wasn’t this guy the Republican frontrunner a couple months ago?”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:45 pm
So dear public I’m here to confess
That I’m the one who freed us from this mess
Love won’t be calling at your address
‘Cause what you never had you never miss,
I guess
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:46 pm
Cop #1 “What are you writin him under?…(munch munch)”
Cop #2 “Where do I start? Who do I call? Do not fly… Homeland Security,…undocumented worker… INS,… unregistered weapon.. ISP, abaondoned infant…DCFS,…promoting unwed intimacy..Catholic church..Planned Parenthood,…red light camera/speed cam violation…Mayor Rahm,…elevating moods… the DEA,… why did you have to answer this call anyway?”
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:48 pm
Ok, here is what happened OneMan being stuck at a Board of Education meeting until 1:30 AM drove home, tired and still needing to hit WalMart in Oswego (Don’t push that guy he might be strapped)(tm) to get a card saw the little guy flying in front of him and decided to solve two problems at the same time
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:48 pm
“The Licence Plate? … Illinois plate …P. O. N. G. E. E.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:49 pm
“Hmmm, I thought my wife killed him years ago.”
Comment by William Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:53 pm
OneMan … I was there too, and if it WAS you that took out ‘Love’ … after that meeting, I can empathize, but … ya killed love!
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:53 pm
“Suspect is described as a Caucasian male, early 40s, about 6 feet, 250 pounds seen storming out of a Hallmark store around midday on Feb. 14th screaming about how all the ‘good’ Valentine’s Day cards had already been sold and how his wife was going to kill him when he got home because he once again had to settle for a stupid ‘Love is…’ card. Suspect reportedly screamed ‘Love stinks!’ as he discharged his weapon in the direction of the cherub.”
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:56 pm
“By the way, Happy Valentine’s Day”
“If this follows suit … we better warn Lucky the Leprecaun.”
“You can’t be too sure it was ACTUALLy Cupid … I found no I.D.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 1:59 pm
=Suspect reportedly screamed ‘Love stinks!’ as he discharged his weapon in the direction of the cherub.” =
Very nice, sir.
Comment by TCB Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:00 pm
“Is it Qupid or Cupid?”
Comment by capncrunch Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:04 pm
“Divorce or not, Timmy, you can’t call it a justifiable shooting …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:07 pm
“He didn’t know its always GUN season in Chicago”
Comment by Fair Share Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:08 pm
springfield police investigate the murder of cupid. early suspicion falls on politicians with one or more mistresses who have to give multiple valentine day’s gifts (hopefully, not the same ones)…
Comment by bored now Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:10 pm
“Just like the song, Mikey …’Love is a Battlefield’ ….”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:19 pm
“Forget it, Jake, it’s Valentine’s Day.”
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:25 pm
“Nobody gets between the Speaker and his apple, Tom. Nobody.”
Comment by frmrILSIP Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:27 pm
The NRA Rep said he couldn’t help himself; the cherub told him to vote love in and concealed carry out.
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:29 pm
“Yup, Scully and Mulder would TOTALLY be all over this.”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:30 pm
“Same ole story, ‘Boy meets Girl, Boy loses Girl, Boy takes out Cupid’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:37 pm
“The guys downtown think it may be linked to that missing box of chocolates.”
Comment by holewall Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:41 pm
“He shoulda known better than to take a parking spot someone else had shoveled.”
Comment by anonymice Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:42 pm
Excellent one, holewall!
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:43 pm
No Caption from Me: You All Have Made Me Really Laugh Today! You are all in rare form today. Congrats…..
Comment by Exhausted Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:47 pm
Oswego Willy… I even spoke, I was the guy who used the phrase ‘under the bus’…
Now a caption…
Sadly since there wasn’t a arrow registry they were unable to figure out who took the little guy out…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:49 pm
“Scaremongering twit scribbles another illustration.”
Comment by Boone Logan Square Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:53 pm
“I can’t see my toes.”
Comment by Aurelius Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:55 pm
“Heck Chief, a little man with wings come flying at ya pointing an arrow in your face, frickin right I blew him away!”
Comment by WazUp Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 2:57 pm
Better call the boys in Vegas, they’re gonna want this pavement for their museum.
Comment by nobody nobody sent Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:05 pm
“When we first got here, I thought this was an Anne Geddes photoshoot gone wrong …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:09 pm
“This is why I have dogs …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:11 pm
Wouldn’t have happened if all those cops weren’t sent to Englewood.
Comment by Kasich Walker, Jr. Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:15 pm
“By the way, Jimmy, does this mean our civil union if off?”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:19 pm
Suspect is 69 year old white male, 6′0″, 280 lbs, silver hair, last seen dressed in a conservative suit, muttering about making sure it doesn’t happen again…
Comment by Colossus Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:21 pm
“I didn’t know that was a gang symbol…Did you know that was a gang symbol??”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:22 pm
-D.P. Gumby-
Well played - gang symbol lol
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:23 pm
Cop #1: Some might see gang signs embedded in the chalk drawing. Better check his facebook page.
Cop #2 checks facebook: Yep, gang-related.
Comment by Gang Expert Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:24 pm
So I tells him youse can’t just shoot a man and a woman anymore youse got to mix it up now and then. That’s when he keeled over.
Comment by Casual observer Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:24 pm
Two officers standing just outside the Thompson Center.
1st officer - ” Word is he was attendin a feel the love meetin’ between Pres Cullerton, MJM, and the gov.”
2nd officer ” Ya mean he jumped?”
1st Officer “Or he was tossed”
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:24 pm
“Ya think this was a ‘crime of passion’?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:25 pm
“I’m not sure what to make of this Sam” …”Maybe its a little welcome gift from Rods soon to be roommate?”
Comment by Smurfs on Parade Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:28 pm
“So the perp says to me, he introduced me to my ex-wife and I thought he was trying to bring her back’.”
Comment by Knome Sane Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:29 pm
“Looks like he died the Chicago Way….he made the mistake of bringing a bow & arrow to a gun fight”.
Comment by Knome Sane Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:32 pm
Oswego Willy @ 3:25: {drops mic, walks out of the room}
Comment by Colossus Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:32 pm
1st Cop - “Do they know what killed ‘im?”
2nd Cop - “Can’t get ahold of the ME but the paramedic said he was having palpitations and muttering something about lonesome no more and no time to get to Cairo.”
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:34 pm
Sadly everyone new little Illinois campaign finance reform was going to get it in the end…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:35 pm
“He went for my doughnut and I let him have it!”
Comment by WazUp Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:36 pm
The Duckworth and Krishnamoorthi campaigns quickly issued press releases blaming each other for the death of love, then send out fundraising e-mail blasts…
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:37 pm
Another Hallmark Holiday shot to Hell , “Joe, Better call your wife tell her to re cork the wine. We’re gonna be here awhile”
Comment by the Cardinal Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:38 pm
Thanks Colossus!
“Johnny, THIS is what becomes of the broken hearted…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:42 pm
Two CPD officers investigate the demise of one of the many card carrying holiday celebrities.
1st Officer “Did anyone see anything.”
2nd Officer ‘ Yeah, one guy says he thought he saw Mitch Daniels runnin from the scene.”
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:46 pm
The ultimate St. Valentines Day massacre.
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:50 pm
Was Cupid shot down for using same sex arrows???
Comment by anon sequitor Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 3:57 pm
“Hey Lou, check his pockets. The Superintendent is trying to come up with enough cash to go to that celebrity roast downtown.”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:03 pm
“We have a large group of conspirators here. HQ believes every woman who has ever married or dated Rich Miller was involved.”
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:12 pm
Response to Dirty Red @ 4.03
“Jimmy…he ain’t wearin’ any pants!!”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:19 pm
“This proves ‘love is NOT forever’, Larry.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:22 pm
“Archery just doesn’t cut it in a rumble.”
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:26 pm
Victim’s body has been transferred to the Cook County morgue. Autopsy should be completed some time in the next 6 to 6000 days.
Comment by J Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 4:40 pm
Cop #1 “What would you do if you were confronted with a half-naked lunatic about to shoot you with bow and arrow?”
Cop #2 “So the perp is claiming self defense!”
Comment by holewall Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 5:00 pm
Love ain’t beanbag.
Comment by mark walker Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 5:02 pm
1st Cop -” This means we can cancel our weekend at Sybaris”
2nd Cop - “Swweeeeet!”
Comment by Irish Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 5:27 pm
OneMan -
We will see how it all shakes out…
“Write this down …’Cherub brandished a weapon, with no intent to kill, but to induces euphoric feelings, which led to an altercation, leading to a wound to the Cherub, from the Cherub’s intended victim, proving to be fatal.’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 5:28 pm
“Davey … take a letter … ‘Dear Sally, your latest attempt to get me to love you failed. I dodged the arrow, your cherub failed to dodge my bullet. Your “friend”, Johhny.’ “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 5:41 pm
He got mad when I charged him with a love-crime for only shooting thin cops. So, I sat on him and broke his arrow. That don’t sound good. Let’s just say a TV fell on him.
Comment by poster Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 7:12 pm
He went for the donut. What else could I do?
Comment by zatoichi Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 10:02 pm
Eighty-three years to the day and the chalk outline looks fresh.
Comment by Al C. Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 10:28 pm
Yeah. But the look on his face when I tazed him was worth the additional paperwork.
Comment by Fallen Angel Tuesday, Feb 14, 12 @ 10:42 pm
I’m pretty sure it ain’t Jessica Rabbit.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Feb 15, 12 @ 2:32 am
“I’m pretty sure this is the closest either one of us will ever get to a Victoria Secrets model.”
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Feb 15, 12 @ 2:47 am