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The new gold rush

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* My Sun-Times column

According to the Sunlight Foundation, independent expenditures on federal campaigns by so-called “superPACs” and others have just about reached the half-billion dollars mark. Yes, that’s billion with a “b.”

About three-quarters of that money has been spent on negative attack ads. And about $14 million of that has been spent in just three Chicago-area congressional races. So now you know why you’ve been so inundated.

Some people look at all this moolah and shake their heads and worry about its impact on our democracy.

Others see all the cash and want in.

Two buddies of mine are thinking about starting their own superPACs.

They’re no fools. The standard fee for “placing” a TV ad is up to 15 percent. Place a few million bucks and you don’t have to work for a while. All you gotta do is find a few angry people who have more money than they know what to do with and help them direct their rage.

Chicago’s Schadenfreude comedy group has caught on to this new gold rush. They’re running a series,” Poor Judgement,” on YouTube about the fictional “Integrity Independent Film Company.” The liberal company is dead broke and desperate for work. During Episode 1, they debate whether to sell their souls and make ads for superPACs.

“One word. Sometimes two. SuperPACs,” says “Justin,” who in real life is WBEZ executive producer Justin Kaufmann.

“Oh, like the Lunchables,” says his partner “Jim,” who is Jim Bennett, a recent winner of the Grand Slam for The Moth storytelling competition.

“Not the Lunchables!” says Justin. “The thing where the trillionaires give politicians a ton of cash for campaigns and issues. They have a film company that shoots the ad. It’s the film company that shoots the ad.”

“Yeah, but what if we don’t agree with what they stand for?” asks “Kate,” played by Kate James of Second City and Schadenfreude.

“F*** ideals!” rages Justin. “Why do you care what anybody thinks?”

“Because what brought us together was integrity,” says Jim.

“What brought us together was ‘My Own Private Idaho.’ We all liked that movie,” cracks Justin.

“C’mon, Jim, don’t you want to make bank?” he demands. Justin eventually wins out.

In Episode 2, they change their company’s name to “N.Tegrity Political Films” and take a meeting with some wealthy right-wingers who run the “Committee for a More Beautiful America.”

After some false starts, Justin makes their pitch. “Colonial times. Ship off in the distance. And it docks. And all these people get off the ship. It’s the beginning of the country. It’s the beginning of hope.”

One of the superPAC’s leaders interrupts. “And the people getting off the Mayflower have some sort of tongue disease and syphillis and smallpox because of ObamaCare in 2012, right? I like it. Yes to that.”

The superPAC guys eventually give the N.Tegrity folks their own idea for a TV ad. It features a baby in its crib. “It’s 3 a.m.,” says the announcer, “and while you sleep, your infant daughter stirs as she realizes that the following groups will either try to kill her or tax her to death: Mexicans, the gays, solar power advocates, Latinos, liberals, fact checkers, Chicagoans, youth, near-sighted independents,” and on and on.

Episode 3 involves a meeting with two potential clients, the Council On American Marriage and the American Council For Marriage. One is anti-gay and the other is pro-gay. But the hapless film company folks don’t know who is who and which is which and hilarity ensues.

I hope my buddies don’t have these problems. Selling one’s soul and destroying the country shouldn’t be so difficult.

* The “Poor Judgement” series can be found here.

Episode One..

Episode Two

Episode Three

posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 2:56 am

Comments

  1. Looks like that sector of the economy is growing. Josh Kraushaar wrote an article, Democrats Learn to Love the Super PAC, that appeared in the National Journal October 10th.

    Comment by Mark Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 4:55 am

  2. Do they have Jack Roeser’s number? He’s a soft touch.

    Comment by wordslinger Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 7:40 am

  3. Rich- As I have been saying for months- TRS’revised investment allocation favoring hedge funds and other non-public investments has come home to haunt the taxpayers- FY 12 returns were 0.76 percent driving up their unfunded liabilities by a big amount

    Comment by Sue Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 8:28 am

  4. And back to the subject…

    Imagine if there was a wealthy Democrat who wanted to challenge Pat Quinn so a wealthy guy on each side…

    $$$$

    Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 8:47 am

  5. @FakeJasonPlummer - Someone get me the # of Integrity Independent Film Company. They look Kool, and they remind me of guys I went to Illinois with that called me “Flounder”. #needsmartguyshelp

    Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 9:05 am

  6. rich, you r kewl and have kewl friends… that was lmao funny. thanks!

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 9:41 am

  7. http://www.sj-r.com/top-stories/x2053812816/City-gives-up-on-Obama-Biden-bill

    Comment by Dan Shields Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 9:57 am

  8. This is hilarious, thanks Rich.

    Comment by ZC Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 10:44 am

  9. sounds like more right-wing bashing from “public radio” liberals

    Comment by Anon Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 2:38 pm

  10. Will Caskey had a post a few days ago describing how consultants benefit more from ad buys in expensive markets. Didn’t he? Cannot find teh post in the last week’s worth of blogs.

    Comment by Ivory-billed Woodpecker Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 2:57 pm

  11. –sounds like more right-wing bashing from “public radio” liberals–

    Yes, the vicious jackboot of public radio just keeping the righteous-wingding down.

    I have a dream, people, where one day Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, Sarah Palin, Rush, and all the righteous brothers and sisters can speak their minds without fear of ridicule. Or reason. Or logic. Or science.

    One day we will all join hands in singing the Fox spiritual, “free of facts, free of facts, thank Rupert almighty I’m free of facts.”

    Have courage. We shall overcome some day. Kumbaya.

    Comment by wordslinger Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 2:58 pm

  12. ===right-wing bashing from “public radio” liberals ===

    To someone with no sense of humor or someone who didn’t watch the videos, for sure.

    Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Oct 26, 12 @ 3:25 pm

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