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* Bruce Rauner and his running mate pose with newspapers…
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:15 pm
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BR - “That Marmaduke!”
“Slip and Sue” - Hmm. Which PI Attorney should I use when I fall in 10 minutes?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:17 pm
They’re both holding them right-side-up. That’s good.
Comment by Soccermom Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:19 pm
BR - “Where can I get some fake ‘meats’ to put on the grill later?”
“Slip and Sue” - “I could use a new neck brace. That one is bedazzled…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:19 pm
Personals
MSW
Are you a suburban mom, preferably in her first term on a city council? ISO a strong-willed, bi-lingual partner who can make decisions for me when I’m out of town. Serious replies only.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:20 pm
Can you believe these things are free?
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:21 pm
BR - “Hmm. ‘Poultry Prices Rising’, you’re welcome!”
“Slip and Sue” - “There’s a sale on magic wands. That will help when I’m Co-Governor”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:21 pm
Look Sue - there’s those banjo lessons you need to take.
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:22 pm
Hey look Sue - your court settlement was published!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:23 pm
The moment the inspiration for taxing newsprint came to Bruce.
Comment by bottom rung. Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:24 pm
BR - “Heh. Dillard got the Metra job. Can’t wait to call on that favor…”
“Slip and Sue” - “I found the ‘Pail’, the ‘Umbrella’…is that the ‘Football’…can’t tell…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:24 pm
Sue, it says this person is looking for a LBSW - too bad you’re not a Liberal Blonde Swedish Woman!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:27 pm
No caption but the high disparity made me instantly flashblack to the Rock Hudson-Nancy Walker dance number on the Carol Burnett show. I can’t provide the link from work, but google Rock Hudson Nancy Walker dancing Carol Burnett and it really gets going at the 2:35-3:30 minute mark.
Comment by 32nd Ward Roscoe Village Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:27 pm
Co-Governor Hopefuls Search Classifieds for Mansion in which to Co-Habitate
Comment by Noper Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:28 pm
BR - “Harley riders are rallying in Montana next week. Looks like ‘Ranch Time’…”
“Slip and Sue” - “You fall on the property, then take the selfie. This picture is only worth $15 thousand, and the injury, you need bruises, where are the bruses here?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:29 pm
That Rich Miller! What a HOOT!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:29 pm
Exactly the kind of hard-hitting journalism Bruce Rauner likes. No pesky questions about his policy proposals, hidden tax returns or shady business record from “Positively Naperville”.
Comment by Reality Check Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:30 pm
Who should we buy today?
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:30 pm
Hey look Sue - now they’re putting dominoes on pizza!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:31 pm
BR - ” Well all be. They do publish homeowner exemptions.”
“Slip and Sue” - “The stairs at the Mansion…I can fall down those…look how they seem to bow…easy-peasy…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:32 pm
Looks like I found you that 1989 Cadillac Catera you wanted - and only $2999!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:33 pm
Bruce Rauner holding up a paper to hide the barbeque sauce stains he obtained while trying to ’show how its done’ grilling a full slab at the Naperville Ribfest.
Comment by train111 Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:33 pm
Don’t worry Bruce, I can step in and read this for you.
Comment by One to the Dome Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:34 pm
“Rauner For Governor” - Dead Tree version.
Comment by Judgment Day Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:35 pm
Rauner smirks seeing the personals:
Lonely old broken down government desires a super rich hero to ride off in the sunset with her. Need not have any convictions about anything and concrete plans for the future are totally optional. Need at least 10 mil to apply.
Comment by train111 Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:37 pm
Did you know that the new album by Deadmau5 is getting great reviews!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:37 pm
ES: “There’s a sale at Penney’s!”
BR: “Penney’s is for sale!”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:38 pm
Ron Burgundy takes a huge early lead!
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm
Good thing these Wranglers cover up my new mink boxers!
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm
Dumb and Dumber…
Comment by anon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:40 pm
BR - “Red Sox win, Steelers start training camp, and the Bulls might get Carmelo. Fantasy Sports…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Hmm. Sullivan Steak House needs a piano player for lunch seatings…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:42 pm
Hey, it says here. I can cut 15% off the budget in 15 minutes.
Comment by PlayK8 Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:45 pm
Qunn Campaign issues press release pointing out how Billionare Bruce Rauner buys two newspapers in Snotty Naperville, where Quinn waits for one to be left behind in a local Motel 6
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:46 pm
Uh oh, They’re asking policy questions, quick, pretend to be reading those newspapers!
Comment by bottom rung. Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:47 pm
Dewey Wins!
Comment by Comment Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:51 pm
Ah finally a newspaper that caters to the .01%
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:52 pm
Why are we reading an independent newspaper, doesn’t Fox news own any newspapers in Naperville?
Comment by The Colossus of Roads Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:56 pm
Looking for a handyman who’ll do cheap work (non-union) on renovations at the Governor’s mansion…
Comment by Roadbuilder Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 1:58 pm
BR - “Heh. That Ken Griffin. You tell ‘em ”
“Slip and Sue” - “We look good standing with those chickens. I even like that outfit I wore.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:03 pm
BR- oh darn there’s that selfie with Schock again
ES:(keeps quiet and searches for a way to get off of this ticket)
Comment by Schock Girl Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:04 pm
Hey look! Target has these jeans on sale and they’re STILL more than I paid for them!
Comment by lake county democrat Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:05 pm
BR - “Evelyn, have you ever read that Richie Rich cartoon? That little guy is a hoot!”
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:07 pm
BR - “I love it when a plan comes together…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Do I get blue drapes or green drapes for my office? Blue? Yeah, and long, like ‘trip-able’ long..yeah…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:16 pm
“Hey look, an ad for consultant advice. Price negotiable, interesting trades considered. Says here he’s based in Oswego, but ‘No Raunerites will be considered’…what’s that mean?”
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:20 pm
Bruce must know somebody to get me some free golf at Pebble Beach or get me on as a guest at Spyglass or maybe Bruce belongs to a club…plus whatever - AA - and - wordslinger - want…plus our fees.
Still not too late Rauner Crew.
“Caption?”
BR - “Oh Rahm. You want me as a friend, not an enemy…”
“Slip and Sue” - “I thought I put the hex on that columnist. ‘Only on vacation’, that has to be code.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:31 pm
BR - “Good news. They are fixing the roof at the Mansion.”
“Slip and Sue” - “Jason Plummer wrote an ‘Open Letter’ to me? Geez, look at the misspellings…the drawing is cute thou…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:42 pm
BR - “Quinnochio came out with a budget plan before we did?”
Comment by Richmond Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:46 pm
“This should make us look sophisticated and such Sue. Naperville is a long word to have on paper. Plus Carhart’s are on clearance at that Big R place.”
Comment by Jorge Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 2:54 pm
BR “Quick, find something we can talk about!”
ES “I wish you wouldn’t stand on that box. It makes me look even shorter!”
Comment by Nearly Normal Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:02 pm
BR - “The Pride Parade looks like it went well…”
“Slip and Sue” - “Hmm. So I get a police detail as Co-Governor? Not bad.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:19 pm
A six-letter word for what Chicago (and Illinois) ain’t ready for?
Comment by Mr. Grassroots Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:20 pm
BR–Stand up, they’re taking our picture!
“Slip and Sue” I AM standing.
Comment by Cheryl44 Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:27 pm
Look Ev, it says here that summer rule number 1 is “lose the carhartt”. That’s not going to play well in Peoria.
Comment by Jimbo Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:27 pm
“Evelyn, look at 42-down. I need a 6-letter word for ‘poseur’ that starts with R and ends with R.”
Comment by The End Is Near Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:32 pm
BR: Look a social agenda section!
ES: Hmmmmm
Comment by Charlatan Heston Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:32 pm
BR: I’m reading “Fortune” behind this cheesy local paper-how about you?
ES: Co-Governing for Dummies!
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:51 pm
Meanwhile, Princess Leia and Emperor Palpatine impersonators go through the wants ads looking for work…
Comment by PoolGuy Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:55 pm
I love the color coordination between her nails and the strips on his shirt…
Comment by LINK Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 3:55 pm
PoolGuy pulls ahead for the lead!
Comment by phocion Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:03 pm
BR-Don’t you think my cowboy belt buckle will fool all those Down-Staters?
ES-Sure, and I’ll fool all the Munchkin fans.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:24 pm
BR: With my kind of money, Naperville is the slums.
ES: With your kind of money, Illinois is the slums.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:25 pm
BR: I’m a’goin’ for two of the stupidest faked photos in a row!
ES: Get me a ticket on that train, Bruce!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:27 pm
BR: I see Quinnochio has an ad in for a yard man.
ES: Hmm. Might be a workman’s comp claim in that jungle!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:29 pm
BR: I hear the Quinn campaign buys one newspaper and passes it around.
ES: Loser!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:30 pm
BR: Did you know I get an inch taller every time I lie?
ES: I am SO pretty!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:31 pm
BR: I wear a $17 watch.
ES: I am SO pretty!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:33 pm
BR: Don’t forget to smile.
ES: I am! I’ve got a mirror hidden behind my paper.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:35 pm
I’m already extremely sick of them both.
Comment by too obvious Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:39 pm
BR: I wore red, white, and blue today.
ES: Oh, yeah. THAT will make you a great governor.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:47 pm
I didn’t know these clowns could read?
Comment by DateNight Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:52 pm
Wanted..Young pol’s single and free. Experience in Gov preferred cause I am just a young trainee.
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 4:57 pm
BR: “I’m curious, Sue, what newspapers do you read?”
ES: “Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.”
Comment by Jeanne Dough Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:12 pm
ES: Hmm…nothing negative about us in here.
BR: Yeah, I own these guys too. Just like our friends at the Chicago Tribune.
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:21 pm
BR: If I grew a beard, do you think it would make me look like Lincoln?
ES: Are you familiar with the word, ‘Sasquatch?’
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:33 pm
BR: Look, it has Sheila Simon’s tour schedule in here.
ES: Hmmm…I slipped on some Loose Gravel once.
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 5:34 pm
BR: Our campaign got a donation today from Chase Manhattan.
ES: Ooo! I just loved him in that “Christmas Vacation” movie!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:06 pm
BR: Hey! This soy ink is coming off on my hands!
PQ (from background): Gotcha!
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:07 pm
the only thing in here is sherriffs sales oh i got a paper cut
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 6:36 pm
“Unabashedly posing as Tweedledee and Tweedledum, candidates Rauner and Sanguinetti read all about Nothing in the Local Paper as they review together their “Budget Plan to Save Illinois,” which they assured reporters they will provide “ALL” of the details to “sometime soon in the coming months.”
The Pool Reporters present confirmed that both candidates were indeed staring at Blank Page in the Paper…”
Comment by Just The Way It Is One Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 8:32 pm
No Coldstone Creamery here? Lets stop at the one in Springfield.
Comment by well then... Tuesday, Jul 8, 14 @ 8:35 pm