Latest Post | Last 10 Posts | Archives
Previous Post: Credit Union (noun) – not-for-profit, consumer-focused cooperative
Next Post: Rauner names new DCEO director
Posted in:
* As we all know, the governor has been busily issuing executive orders since taking office. Some aren’t exactly legal. Another one is coming today.
It’s Friday, so let’s have a little fun.
* The Question: Future failed Bruce Rauner executive orders?
Snark is heavily encouraged.
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:50 pm
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
Previous Post: Credit Union (noun) – not-for-profit, consumer-focused cooperative
Next Post: Rauner names new DCEO director
WordPress Mobile Edition available at alexking.org.
powered by WordPress.
he issue’s an executive order making his executive orders legal
Comment by foster brooks Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:52 pm
EO 15-22; The number 47 is now greater than 71 and the number 20 is now greater than 39.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:53 pm
An Executive Order declaring Pluto to be a planet and Mount Prospect to be a mountain.
Comment by Bill White Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:54 pm
EO 15-41; The General Assembly will have “Opposite Day” at the discretion of the Governor.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:54 pm
An Executive Order declaring that Carhartt is the official uniform for all members of the Illinois General Assembly - and members must be in uniform in order to cast valid votes.
Comment by Bill White Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:55 pm
EO 15-71; Props used in campaigns for governor are now tax deductible
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:55 pm
EO 15-14: all constitutional officers and judges will obey all future EOs. When an EO says “jump,” they will ask “how high?” on the way up.
Comment by Anon. Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:56 pm
Executive Order hereby declaring that every day shall hence forth be known as and referred to as Bruce Rauner Day.
Comment by Samurai Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:57 pm
EO 15-71 Executive Order Just EO 15-1 again, wants to if anyone notices
Comment by Tom Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:58 pm
And EO rescinding his appointment of Leslie Munger as Comptroller
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 12:58 pm
EO 15-621; Nullifying EO 15-620, then Reinstating EO 15-620 without the language that pertains to it pertaining to the governor’s office. So, everyone, but the governor’s office…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:00 pm
EO to disallow internet access from Oswego IL
Comment by OneMan Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:00 pm
“From this day on, the official language . . . will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check.”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:00 pm
EO to require all former governors to have their lawns mowed weekly.
Comment by OneMan Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:00 pm
Executive Order declaring that signs proclaiming “Bruce Rauner, Governor” shall immediately be prominently displayed on all Illinois Toll Plazas.
Comment by Samurai Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:01 pm
Exec Order: All day-cares will feed their kids cake.
Comment by Come on man! Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:01 pm
EO 15-100: All mention of “Gov. Pat Quinn” is removed from state records.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:01 pm
Executive Order to prohibit lawmakers from communications with CapFax
Comment by Brett Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:02 pm
EO 15-47, “A Guy” gets to have the last word defending me on any Capitol Fax comment thread.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:03 pm
Executive order prohibitin executive orders from bein overridden by other constitutional officers.
Comment by AC Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:03 pm
An DO making VW vans and HD motorcycles the official state fleet vehicles.
Woops, he already prohibited purchases of any more state vehicles.
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:03 pm
EO 15-34: All Illinois residents will be allowed one vote for each residence they own and occupy for at least one week each year.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:04 pm
An EO making every other “g” silent.
Comment by ToughGuy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:04 pm
EO 15-G: All executive branch administrators are required to pronounce words endin’ in -ing without the “g”
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:06 pm
A blank executive order to make barn jackets the official state attire.
Comment by John A Logan Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:07 pm
This one isn’t that fun for me. So, asking the indulgence of the Chair, may I instead wish all a Happy Valentine’s Day especially Willy and Sling. Hope the both of you get more than a mint melt-a-way.
Comment by A guy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:07 pm
EO 15-100; “It’s a difficult responsibility, that you accept from the #1 lawmaker me. Have it known throughout the land from sea to sea,there’ll be no more toymakers to the king”
Signed,
Burgermeister Meisterburger Carharrtt.
http://youtu.be/xn_p8Z8Ltng
Comment by NewWestSuburbanGop'er Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:08 pm
EO 15-615; Removin’ and makin’ true that the letter “G” is not part of the 25 letter Illinois alphabet.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:09 pm
EO-100; Proclaims that the Chicago Cubs win the World Series in 2015 . . . hey, it’s the only chance the Cubbies have.
Comment by East Central Illinois Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:14 pm
Executive Order 9,285 (2015):
WHEREAS, it is in the interest of public health and public good for the State to encourage humor and exercise;;
THEREFORE, I, Bruce Rauner, Governor of Illinois, by virtue of the executive authority vested in me by Monty Python, do hereby create and establish the Ministry of Silly Walks.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:16 pm
EO 15-644; Illinois is to be stricken as our state’s name. From now on, West Indiana will be the name of our fair state.
OneMan, you are my 308 bud!
Thanks - A Guy -, I had hoped to see one from you. Happy V-Day to you too.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:16 pm
==“From this day on, the official language . . . will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check.”==
Rebels are we! Born to be free! Just like the fish in the sea!
Comment by Anon. Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:18 pm
EO #15-100 making all legal challenges to Executive Orders issued by Governor Rauner, illegal, Null and Void and deemed, until further notice, a constitutionally invalid challenge.
Comment by IB Strapped Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:19 pm
EO: I get to succeed Jon Stewart on the Daily Show!
Comment by Precinct Captain Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:19 pm
Except for the purposes of taxation, Citizens employed by the State of Illinois, particularly those with affiliation or membership in a Labor Union, shall henceforth be counted as three fifths of all other Persons.
Comment by Kippax Blue Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:21 pm
No snark here! I wholeheartedly applaud Governor’s Rauner’s strategic approach to addressing some of the State’s most pressing issues. The Executive Orders issued thus far are “first attempts” at correcting deficiencies. I am looking forward to the next set of Executive Order, particularly with regards to
government consolidation. Press on, Governor, press on!
Comment by Black Ivy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:22 pm
Kippax takes a big lead!
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:23 pm
Hate to give the crew any ideas but you did ask for snark …
- EO eliminating the State’s Balanced Budget clause AND allowing the State to issue script as valid payment of all debts in place of US currency
- EO retroactively declaing all State pension payments have been made in full
- EO firing everyone not personally hired by Rauner and replacing all the fired personnel with unpaid interns
- EO declaring the Seperation of Powers clauses in the IL Constitution are null and void, thus reassigning both the General Assembly and the State Juducial System as Departments under the Executive Branch.
Comment by RNUG Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:23 pm
EO 15-12,705(IX)(9)(iii); nullifies all EO15s issued, including all language that the Illinois Constitution is silly scribbling.
EO 15-12,706; Overriding Vetos by the legislature, and court rulings against the Governor are mere suggestions from this date on.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:24 pm
EO converting the Department of Revenue to the Bruce2018 private equity fund.
The fund will get two percent of annual revenues as management fees, plus 20 pecent of all annual growth in revenues as carried interest.
Comment by Wordslinger Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:24 pm
EO 16-62 WHEREAS, sometimes people drive slow in the left lane, and,
WHEREAS, ugggh,
THEREFORE, slow driving shall be punishable by death.
(Drafted on Blackberry while driving from Springfield to Chicago.)
Comment by distracted Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:25 pm
===No snark here! I wholeheartedly applaud Governor’s Rauner’s strategic approach to addressing some of the State’s most pressing issues. The Executive Orders issued thus far are “first attempts” at correcting deficiencies. I am looking forward to the next set of Executive Order, particularly with regards to government consolidation. Press on, Governor, press on!====
EO 15-892(A); Raunerbots do not have opinions. Raunerbots’ statements and cheerleading are facts, not to be questioned, and are also considered majority opinion at all times.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:28 pm
EO establishing Illinois House of Lords, naming:
Lord Griffin of Hedgefund
Lord Uiehlein of Bubblewrap
Lord Gidwitz of Shampoo
Lord Emamuel of Expletive
Comment by Wordslinger Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:31 pm
Keep the hate coming Oswego Willy, it only underscores my relevance. And, thank you, I’ll wear that badge of “Raunerbot” with pride. Lead and serve, Governor, lead and serve…
Comment by Black Ivy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:34 pm
A order that prohibits all state employees or campaign volunteers from reading Capitol Fax
Comment by 19th warder Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:35 pm
===And, thank you, I’ll wear that badge of “Raunerbot” with pride. Lead and serve, Governor, lead and serve…===
EO 15-996; Raunerbot talking points are to be followed by all citizens, no matter how silly they seem, in the face of what is going on, and all talking points should end wry praise to the governor.
- Wordslinger -, that is pretty good; the Lords.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:40 pm
An EO making Winston and Strawn the State’s Attorney General.
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:40 pm
An order requiring anyone the governor appoints to any position to do exactly as the governor says, or the governor can immediately assume their duties himself until he appoints a replacement.
Comment by ToddAF Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:41 pm
an executive order that all state employees work pro bono
Comment by foster brooks Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:43 pm
EO-2015 The Chicago White Sox are ordered to post home attendance figures in excess of 2,000,000 for the next four years. Your landlord needs the rent money!
Comment by Under Further Review Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:44 pm
EO 2015; The State of Illinois shall now be known as “Wisdiana” incorporating both the higher tax rates, and right to work policies.
Comment by How Ironic Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:44 pm
All taxes collected by the State are to be placed in an escrow account to protect the taxpayers who might not agree with how the money is used.
Comment by Anon Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:44 pm
An EO declaring himself the Vice President starting in 2017…
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:44 pm
EO-15-375B - Illinois is a right to reside state where residents can stop paying property and income taxes that do not feel right. A new contractual fee-for-service process will allow residents to buy only the services they think they need and ignore the rest.
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:46 pm
EO 15-86: Establishes the formal title of First Dog, appoints Pumpkin Rauner to the position. Creates a position in CMS Personnel Code: Chief of Staff to the First Dog. Appoints Stella Rauner for the position. Qualifications/education: she comes highly recommended by the Assistant Manager at Petsmart, graduated magna cum laude from obedience classes.
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:50 pm
Oh come on man what was wrong with that last comment?
Comment by William j Kelly Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:50 pm
EO declaring all Capitol Fax blog commenters, except for the Raunerbots, are banned for life!
Comment by Wensicia Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:50 pm
EO-15-400C - The Speaker of the House and President of the Senate will be split into three positions each and shared between the top three groups with the highest investment portfolios.
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:53 pm
EO mandating that all state employee pensions be paid in tokens valid only in Illinois video poker machines.
Comment by OldSmoky2 Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:55 pm
EO
That anyone who said they were going to run for mayor of Chicago and then backed out of it be required to go by the name Rahm for 2 years.
Comment by OneMan Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:55 pm
EO 15-275; Owls are only endangered if they find they have a problem with the Governor. Mushrooms are lower than Owls, but they too can be endangered if they have a problem with the Governor.
Funding for this Executive Order is obvious, and is omnipresent.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:56 pm
EO-15-20xxxx-All fund raisers shall have only cash bars.
Comment by Well then Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:56 pm
EO-154 - Saputos will be designated as the official Little General Assembly with an open bar every Monday for specialized caucus meetings.
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 1:57 pm
EO-15-684.3 All Executive branch employees must now say “Mother May I?” before doing anything.
Comment by Skeptic Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:00 pm
EO 15-$$ Requires all monies recovered by Attorney General, SOS or State Treasurer from Wall Street hustlers, big banks or associated thieves be immediately surrendered to the Office of the Governor to be redistributed to Illinois branches of said thieves after an appropriate 8.75% skim
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:01 pm
EO 15-231 : All state employees are allowed one 5-minute bathroom break per work day. An employee’s cell phone may not accompany them to the restroom.
EO 15-178: All retirees must sign a pledge to pass away within 15 years of retirement or forfeit all retirement (EO applies to SERS, TRS, SURS, GARS, and IMRF, judges excluded).
Comment by Huh??? Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:01 pm
EO 15-11: All state-owned amplifiers will go up to 11!
http://www.jahozafat.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=WAVS&type=Movies&movie=This_Is_Spinal_Tap"e=itsonelouder.txt&file=itsonelouder.wav
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:02 pm
EO 15-93: Creates the Votes for Dough programs. (A) An escrow account shall be established in the name of each member of the 99th general Assembly. (B) Members will receive $100 (in escrow) for every vote they cast for a bill which agrees with the Governor’s position. (C) For every vote to override a Governor’s veto the legislator will forfeit $1,000 of the escrowed funds. (D) In the event that a legislator’s escrow account reaches a negative balance, the sitting Governor shall designate an opponent, of the same party, to challenge the incumbent in the earliest primary election. (E) If said incumbent prevails, the sitting Governor shall designate an opponent from the opposite party to challenge the incumbent in the general election. (F) Escrowed funds shall be made available to members at the discretion of the Governor.
Note: In instances where sections D & E are exercised, campaign contribution limits shall not apply to the Governor’s designee.
Comment by Huh??? Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:02 pm
EO 15-367: During the State Fair, “Governor’s Day” will now be known as “Shake-Up Day” and, on that day, all shakeup-ups will be half-price.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
All hot dogs sold within the State of Illinois shall henceforth be required to be covered in ketchup.
Comment by Anonymoiis Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
EO
An independent, nonpartisan commission is created for the purpose of redistricting and mapping Little League Baseball Leagues. All geographic areas must be compact and contiguous.
Comment by Under Further Review Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:06 pm
I, Governor Bruce Rauner, immediately order the consolidation of the States of Illinois and Wisconsin. I, Bruce Rauner, will be the Governor of this new totally tax free state and it will be called Ill-Sin. All residents must have a gross annual income of $1 million or more. All others must leave immediately.
Comment by dude Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:07 pm
EO 15-20,000,000: All campaign contributions by unions and their members are banned and the Governor’s campaign fund is redesigated as the “Some are more equal than others PAC.”
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:08 pm
Series of EOs making new state holidays and making state employees and teachers work without pay on:
- Scott Walker’s birthday.
- Mitch Daniels’ birthday.
- Chris Christie’s birthday.
- Charles Koch’s birthday
- David Koch’s birthday
(At first there was going to only be one EO for one state holiday to honor the “Koch Brothers” - but then Gov. Rauner decided that a state holiday for each of them would be fitting)
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:08 pm
All future references to “Governor”, oral and written, are deprecated and to be replaced with “Governor for Life”.
Comment by MikeMacD Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:09 pm
Stealing with this but . . . EO requiring all of his legislation be assigned to sub-committees.
Comment by nadia Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:11 pm
EO
E I E I O
Comment by A guy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:12 pm
WHEREAS, we’ve all been put through enough. Seriously.
THEREFORE the Cubs are disbanded. The parade will be subject to appropriation by the Illinois General Assembly.
Comment by The Captain Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:13 pm
EO 15-more than 10: Annexes certain properties in Montana, New York, Wyoming, Utah, and Florida to the State of Illinois. Designates residences within the annexed areas as Official Residences of the Governor. Expires at the conclusion of Bruce V. Rauner’s term as Governor.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:13 pm
=== Joe M - Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:08 pm:
Series of EOs making new state holidays and making state employees and teachers work without pay on:
- Scott Walker’s birthday.
- Mitch Daniels’ birthday.
- Chris Christie’s birthday.
- Charles Koch’s birthday
- David Koch’s birthday====
Please furnish the dates for the aforementioned holidays. I believe we’ve found an area of agreement between state and labor.
Comment by A guy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
An EO issuing every middle and low-income family in Illinois a free pair of bootstraps by which they can pull themselves up.
Comment by bluecollargal Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
The Captain surges to the front of the pack!
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
EO 15-wouldn’t you like to know: Designates the salary of the Chief Financial Officer a state secret. Allows the Chief Financial Officer to determine appropriate remuneration for services as Chief Financial Officer. Absolves Chief Financial Officer of any responsibility for future fiscal condition of state.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:16 pm
In the interest of time and greater sanity…
An EO that relegates Mr. Kelly’s posts to “approval” rather than “deletion”
If no one should see them, no one should have to. Even briefly.
Comment by A guy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:17 pm
An EO grounding the State Fleet.
The Speaker and POS will be forced to drive to Springfield like us lowly 99 percenters.
Comment by Thunder Fred Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:24 pm
Besides mandatory minority participation for all government contracts with trade labor positions, all investment firms must do the same will also be required to… wait, what am I saying? scratch that last part, but keep the first part.
Comment by Gov Rauner Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:24 pm
Friday the 13th will hereby no longer induce triskadekaphobia and will be replaced with ektelestikos parangelia phobia….fear of executive orders.
Comment by Amalia Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:26 pm
An executive order requiring that any state employee who says anything critical of flash trading has to read aloud a fifteen minute statement to the same audience explaining all the benefits flash trading has provided the State of Illinois.
Comment by Carl Nyberg Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:28 pm
The Governor will no longer be referred to as “His Excellency”, but instead will be addressed in formal gatherings of the Legislature as: “The Dude, His Dudeness, or El Brucerino, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing…”
Comment by Newsclown Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:29 pm
Rich Von deletenstien strikes again!
Comment by William j Kelly Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:30 pm
Gov Rauner EO: There will be no more state airplanes or authorized state air travel.
Gov’s Chief of Staff: But your highness, you have an economic trade trip to China on Monday, that could net the State billions of dollars if you go.
Gov: We will drive my VW van, unless you want to ride in a sidecar on the Harley.
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:35 pm
EO SP2/2016: “Any elected official who serves in said position for more than one week shall, at that time, be considered to have served a `Full Term’ in said office.”
Comment by Gooner Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:39 pm
Privatizing the State… the entire State.
Comment by Ahoy! Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:40 pm
EO #99 declaring that some animals are more equal than other animals. Capital is more equal than labor. And Republicans are more equal than Democrats.
Comment by Concerned Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:42 pm
Executive Order granting all Illinois Policy Institute employees who work in the Lt Govs office for one day, the same millionaire pensions deal Preckwinkle and Piccioli got.
Executive Order stating anyone who is not a Republican or Democrat, especially independents, shall only be counted as 1/5 of a human being except for tax purposes.
Executive Order deporting Michael Madigan from the state of Illinois for repeated failure to obey the rule of law in our state and federal Constitutions.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:44 pm
EO 150,000: “Henceforth, Screaming Eagle shall be considered the State Wine of Illinois, and, in honor of said designation, shall be served at all evening meals of the State’s Governor.”
EO 150,001: “Due to budgetary constraints forced upon the State of Illinois due to EO 150,000, the salary of each State employee making less than $40,000.00 per year shall be reduced by $5,000.00 per year.”
Comment by Gooner Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:46 pm
EO15-28 - doubles the duration of Rod Blagojevich’s federal prison sentence.
Why? Why NOT??
a unifying move opposed by less than 10 people in the entire state.
Comment by Hawkeye Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:49 pm
EO15-199-appoints Arthur Andersen as State Auditor General for life.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:54 pm
Executive Order creates a new mandatory-use Official Style Book for all Illinois official correspondence, and State laws, rules and regulations. Style Book Chapter 1, published concurrently with this EO, is one sentence long: “Drop the *g* in *ing* when drafting official State communications, and State laws, rules and regulations.”
Comment by zonz Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:55 pm
If you’re not careful it will be an EO banning traffic to and from Capitol Fax on state devices.
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 2:59 pm
All University athletic teams competing for State schools shall follow the lead of our great Governor and win at everything they do.
Comment by Quizzical Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:02 pm
Executive Order XXL (with apologies to David Byrne).
WHEREAS, I may find myself living in a shotgun shack (The Executive Mansion) and;
WHEREAS, I once found myself in another part of the world (Montana) and;
WHEREAS I found myself behind the wheel of a large automobile (a VW van) and;
WHEREAS it may be awhile before I find myself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife (in Winnetka) and;
WHEREAS you may ask yourself well, how did I get here (to Springfield)?
WHEREAS, I may ask myself how do I work this (Office of the Governor)?
WHEREAS, you may ask yourself am I right? Am I wrong? (I am right of course) and;
WHEREAS, I will never say My God! What have I done?!
THEREFORE, I, Bruce Rauner, Governor of Illinois, will ensure that anything I do will never be same as it ever was, same as it ever was, yeah, the twister comes, here comes the twister!
Comment by Calhoun Native Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:04 pm
EO creating a special state education dollar currency, that grows when it declines.
Comment by walker Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:04 pm
EO: Anyone with annual incomes above $1 million will no longer pay any Illinois income taxes.
Rauner then commented, “This will inspire all Illinois citizens to raise themselves up by the bookstraps. As my hero, Mitch Daniels, in his wisdom pointed out, “We are not a nation of haves and have-nots - we are a nation of haves and soon-to-haves”
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:04 pm
Executive Order to turn US Cellular into a giant day-care center to be staffed by all General Assembly members until funding for the day care programs can be found.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:04 pm
EO: I hear by consolidate all executive level state agencies and appoint the Illinois Policy Institute as the sole executive agency.
Comment by Joe M Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:12 pm
Executive Order 15 - Par 3
WHEREAS, Winter Rules are in effect.
THEREFORE, I, Bruce Rauner, Governor of Illinois, by virtue of the executive authority vested in me by Section 8 of Article V of the Constitution of the State of Illinois, do hereby order as follows:
I. MULLIGANS PERMITTED.
II. EFFECTIVE NUNC PRO TUNC JANUARY 12, 2015.
Bruce Rauner, Governor
Comment by Matt Belcher Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:16 pm
I’m sure it’s not the first time he has done something that is not exactly legal
Comment by Strobby Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:16 pm
Executive Order 1587 banning all “Questions of the Day” which elicit comments that are in any way unfavorable to the governor.
Comment by Bluefish Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:37 pm
@Calhoun Native that is very fun!
Comment by Amalia Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:41 pm
Some really good ones today;
Rich with MP, - PCK -, “Spinal Tap”, excellent, just to name a couple with the links. Good s
See - A Guy -, you can participate. Nice.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:43 pm
EO 17-3
Lighten up Francis….
Comment by OneMan Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:44 pm
Executive Order 18-86 authorizes the transfer of the State Employee’s Retirement System and the Teacher’s Retirement System obligations to Barry Saacks, Executive of Trans Healthcare.
Comment by Mittuns Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:49 pm
EO 1234567..
The letter “g” is permanently banned from the English language.
Comment by Jorge Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:51 pm
EO 15-1701
Merging the Comptroller, Treasurer, Attorney General, and Lt. Governor’s offices with the blackhole known as V404 Cygni, and transferring all of their duties to Donna Arduin.
Comment by Juvenal Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:52 pm
Pi shall be rounded to 3.14, and its interest shall be compounded annually.
Comment by Cogito Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:55 pm
An executive order that prohibits all state employees or state retirees from reading or commenting on Capitol Fax.
Comment by Enviro Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:59 pm
EO 77-13 The governor shall be, from this point in time, referred to as “Bruce the Almighty”.
Comment by howard Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 3:59 pm
EO 45-45 To be known as the “Hypocrisy Doctrine”, any action taken by this administration that is in direct conflict with earlier statements either in campaign mode, or after election shall be ignored.
Comment by How Ironic Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:02 pm
I’m normally opposed to Executive Orders but Democrats have so horribly effed up this state it’s all hands on deck on the Titanic.
Comment by TKV Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:07 pm
EO 15-217 “Carhart Fridays”
Comment by BW Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:11 pm
EO: Illinois is hereby renamed West Indiana after Bruce Rauner’s favorite state.
Comment by AC Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:14 pm
Executive Order 3.14159: Order the Executive to bring order to the Executive Branch by ordering the agencies to report all previous Executive Orders to the Executive Branch in chronological order so that the Executive Branch can see the effectiveness of Executive Orders throughout the history of the Executive Branch…I mean order.
Comment by Phenomynous Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:25 pm
EO 15-930; Allow the Governor’s Mansion be whatever mansion the Governor is at that moment, in any state.
I owe a “EO”
EO 15-628(N) Allows that questions to a Lt. Governor must be submitted, in writing, and will be returned and answered, no earlier than 5 business days. Direct questioning and real time answering is prohibited.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:27 pm
Special EOs can be purchased on an as needed basis with four easy payments. If you call in the next 15 minutes we will drop a payment. But wait, we know the urgency so we will also provide free shipping. That’s 3 payments, free shipping for your specialized EO. Now that’s shakin’ it up!
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 4:50 pm
EO 20-01 castigates the egregious encroachment of union bosses on the entrepreneurial spirit of private business on this day, May 1, in 1886.
EO 01-02 On May 17, Illinois celebrates the 129th Anniversary of the US Supreme Court’s decision Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad and lauds it as a victory for Free Speech and First Amendment rights of the oppressed corporate person.
Comment by Mittuns Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 5:01 pm
After Rauner’s actions late this afternoon, I fear that some of these cynical suggestions are being taken seriously by the governor’s office. Today’s question of the day could be on of the more significant threats facing Illinois, or West Indiana.
Comment by AC Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 5:10 pm
EO 15-666 An additional Holiday : Milton Friedman’s birthday… Can’t forget the robber barons hero!!
Comment by Outside the bubble Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 5:35 pm
EO 15-… Whereas, we have already dropped all Gs from the end of words, it is hereby ordered that the letter R be dropped from all words starting henceforth.
Signed
Goveno Aune
Comment by The Equalizer Friday, Feb 13, 15 @ 6:10 pm