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Illinois

* The attorney general…

posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 12:59 pm

Comments

“Capiche?”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:00 pm
“Stop reading Kass! I’m. Not. Running. For. Governor!”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:01 pm
You’re in good hands.

Comment by jls Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:02 pm
I wash my hands of this matter.

Comment by The Colossus of Roads Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:05 pm
“Read…read the Constitution. This IS my job!”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:05 pm
*hand gestures*. This is the Statehouse. This is the dome. Look inside for leaders… Nobody’s home!

Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:05 pm
Let me be perfectly clear, State employees should not be paid!

Comment by Gunslinger Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:06 pm
“…. and then he says to me, ‘Step down? How about you step off?…..”

Comment by Wordslinger Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:07 pm
So in conclusion, it’s the Democrats, traditionally the strongest allies of public employees, who are fighting with me in the courts to prevent them from being paid. On the other hand, it’s the Republicans, who traditionally loathe public employees and especially their unions, who are determined to violate the constitution to keep these employees on the payroll.

Does it make sense now, your honor?

Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:07 pm
“I told the Governor; Help me… Help you…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:07 pm
Well, that was 2007, and there was a Democrat in charge.

Comment by hot chocolate Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:07 pm
She is thinking ” I hope the lowly public doesn’t recognize this secret occult Illuminati hand gesture!”

Comment by cez Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:08 pm
“I’m sitting at the right table! I’m on THIS side of the argument. K? K…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:09 pm
“Ok Bruce, you hold the book like this, then sound out each word. Good job, once you get through Curious George we’ll give the Illinois Constitution a try.”

Comment by Daniel Plainview Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:09 pm
It doesn’t matter if I’m selective on the Illinois Constitution…I’m here now!

Comment by A guy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:10 pm
This is my Bobcat face. You want to see it again or you gonna void those checks?

Comment by A guy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:10 pm
AG Madigan: “And that’s the last time I visit St. Clair County!”

Staffer: “Um, you have an office in Belleville.”

AG Madigan: “Oh…then I’m never going anywhere in St. Clair County except for Belleville!”

Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:11 pm
“Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.”

Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:11 pm
“To close, it wasn’t I, that called your Honors corrupt. Not me. You, your Honors… Not corrupt…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:14 pm
I’ve a very important person , my last name is Madigan and don’t you forget that.

Comment by Steve Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:15 pm
“The solution to this issue lies in moderation, not the extreme.”

Comment by ILPundit Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:16 pm
Colegate Whitening Toothpaste, recommended by dentists, trused by attorney general Madigan.

Comment by AC Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:16 pm
As Governor Rauner will soon learn, the Madigans bark really does match their bite.

Comment by AC Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:19 pm
“Now this is my Kirk Douglas impression…”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:20 pm
While I can’t let state workers be paid, I have arranged for free soup to be distributed in the cafeteria. If everyone would just form a single file line with their hands out like this…

Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:21 pm
“You don’t understand. The Dome is here to kill us!”

Comment by walker Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:22 pm
“So I said to Judy Baar, ‘Palmolive. You don’t want dishpan hands? Use Palmolive!’”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:24 pm
And then, just when everyone was sure that the Rock’s car was going to smash right into Vin Diesel’s car, they both swerved at the very last second! Wow!

···

I’m sorry, your honor — what was the question?

– MrJM

Comment by @MisterJayEm Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:25 pm
“I don’t know, Jak. It might be a $14 watch. It was a gift from my father. You don’t ask how much a gift cost.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:25 pm
How dare you to over-rule me, the A.G.! I am protecting our State Constitution.

Comment by Mama Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:26 pm
“I’d like to quash the rumor that when I walk down a hall, I have an aide following behind me with a CD player playing the ‘Law and Order’ theme.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:31 pm
I’m the Mary! You’re the Rhoda!

Comment by downstate Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:31 pm
My best Howard Dean impersonation!

Comment by Republicrat Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:32 pm
“Just off the Square. A nice little shop where you can get a mani-pedi for $10.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:32 pm
“Look, Cutler, you’re supposed to throw the ball *here*!”

Comment by Skeptic Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:32 pm
I pretty much just do whatever Oprah tells me to.

Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:33 pm
“Well, you can hit my fingers with your gavel as much as you want, Your Honor, but I have to warn you they’re pretty tough. I went to parochial school.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:34 pm
…”and state workers will look at their paystubs and be like ‘eeeeek!’”

Comment by Grimm Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:38 pm
A (drug dog) sniff is not a search and, therefore, requires no 4th Amendment justification.

Comment by Jeff Trigg Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:39 pm
Jingle Bells!
Jingle Bells!
Jingle all the way!
C’mon Anne!
Join me!

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:39 pm
Don’t you see, state workers, I’m holding up your paychecks for your own good!

Comment by so... Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:40 pm
“Mr. Miller, just because I wear black and chase white whales, that doesn’t mean I’m Captain Ahab!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:40 pm
“Its beginning to look a lot like Pay Day!”
“Wait - I mean, its beginning to look a lot like Pay Stay!”

Sing along!

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:41 pm
“Stateworkers? Let them eat cake”

Comment by Tsavo Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:41 pm
Yes, Rauner hates all state employees. It’s true!

Comment by All the answers Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:41 pm
“I know if makes no sense; pay employees without appropriations, veto appropriations to pay state workers, then fight to get state workers paid anyway! I’m not making this up…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:45 pm
And I said, “No Dad - hold your sheet music like this when you sing carols…”

Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:45 pm
Yes, this is my best smile.

Comment by Rhino Slider Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:48 pm
“it’s a cookbook! ‘To Serve the People of Illinois’ is a cookbook!”

Comment by Homer J. Quinn Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:49 pm
Finally! A politician that can sign their own speech for the deaf! About time!

Comment by Ducky LaMoore Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:53 pm
“And hold you… Hold you in the palm… of His hand…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:54 pm
Please find us a constitutional way to do the unconstitutional thing.

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:56 pm
“No! That is not MY Atticus Finch… I’d open my ‘Mockingbird’ and see… There’s my Atticus! He’s here. He’s my hero…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:56 pm
Please don’t pay those pesky, low level employees.

Comment by Jasper Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:57 pm
state Employees should not be paid but pay my employees anyway

Comment by Anonymous Retiree Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 1:58 pm
“My day? You all would kind to know about… MY day? I get a certified letter, I open it up, asking me something or another, and its signed, oh, it’s signed;

‘With kindest personal regards, I remain. Sincerely yours, Michael J. Madigan.’

‘Michael J. Madigan’! I had to look at it again…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:00 pm
No pay for you!

Comment by mcb Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:04 pm
“Please tell me how to do my job…”

Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:10 pm
Truth! You can’t handle the Truth!

Comment by Retired Contractor Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:11 pm
Don’t you get it…It is unconstitutional…..

Comment by Outsider Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:13 pm
“Ten. Ten. I told the Hostess Company, ‘You either put ten in a box or I’ll make sure you never sell another Ding Dong in the state of Illinois!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:14 pm
Rauner set my teeth on edge, and they’ve been like this ever since…

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:14 pm
“So I said to Jet Li, ‘You think you’re the Wu Shu Master? Come over here. I’ll show you some Wu Shu!’”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:15 pm
“Your Honor, I tried to catch Ms. Sanguinetti before she fell, but she was determined to hit the floor, and then started looking for witnesses…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:23 pm
“You learn how to slam your fingers in a door, and that’s how you stay awake through law school.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:23 pm
“You tell me, Mr. Chairman. The Governor’s Office wants causation changes, the Lt. Governor, she wants to testify against it. She’s here, if you want her to testify, your call…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:27 pm
“And then I grabbed Governor Blagojevich and shook him and said, ‘No! They won’t let you take your hair dryer to the Joint!’”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:27 pm
Wu Tang Forever!

Comment by ODB Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:27 pm
But Daaaad I don’t wanna.

Comment by burbanite Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:30 pm
“Then Ms. Simon said to me, ‘Your fingers are going every which way! You’ll never learn to play the banjo like that!’”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:30 pm
“Your honor, I can’t explain how I got this frosting on my fingers, but I assure you I didn’t touch your birthday cake.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:33 pm
…and your little dog Toto!

Comment by Gantt Chart Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:35 pm
“I don’t care how much money you have, Governor, but my Dad will still whip your butt!!”

Comment by downstate commissioner Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:40 pm
We’re looking into the possibility that unconstitutionality may be a constitutional proposition. The unconstitutional St. Clair decision voids the unconstitutional Cook County decision. We think that’s sort of like two negatives equals a positive. OMG! I just asked the Supreme Court to stay a constitutional decision! God I miss the Peace Corps…

Comment by Menard Guy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:49 pm
and then you-know-who made me eat an apple that was this big!

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:54 pm
“Help me, help you.”

Comment by Anonymiss Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 2:57 pm
I am a uniter, not a divider.

Comment by Former Titan Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:02 pm
“Some say love… It is a river… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:05 pm
“How many times do I have to tell you? He ain’t heavy, he’s my father!”

Comment by aufjunk Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:09 pm
OW@1:54, well played!

“Nobody leaves until we get this right, including Mr. Chief Justice. One more time…By thy rivers gently flowing, Illinois, Illinois…”

Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:10 pm
Discretion is the better part of valor. I better not post what I really wanted to or Rich will delete it.

Comment by DuPage Don Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:13 pm
On one hand, you have my father, a warm and caring guy! On the other hand, you have a wealthy and arrogant governor! Who are you going to believe?

Comment by One of the 35 Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 3:16 pm
“You take the mallow… and place it on the graham… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:01 pm
You do know that Drury is a former prosecutor.

Comment by McPhee Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:02 pm
“If you want to do Burt Lancaster, it’s all in the hands. And the teeth. Lots of teeth. Then you go, ‘Ha! Ha!’”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:08 pm
“Do these look like the hands of a Constitution manipulator?”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:11 pm
“Nothing up my sleeves. Now, I will make a subpoena appear out of thin air!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:12 pm
“And then he called Dad…a career politician! Oh, the humanity…”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:20 pm
Future Governor of Illinois

Comment by Enviro Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:22 pm
What about the next three years? leverage your honor, leverage.
I don’t know if Fritchey goes to the same dentist as me, why?

Comment by hard times Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:22 pm
“The law, the law is like your…fingers. You can wiggle it.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:22 pm
“Now you sing the chorus:
‘Come on up! Come on up! Come on up to the House!
This world is not my home,
I’m just a’passin’ through.
Come on up to the House!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:25 pm
“Synergy”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:27 pm
“… you invite the Speaker, you invite the Governor, bribg them together, alone.. have cigars, have an apple, then… leave them alone…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 4:29 pm
Don’t cry for me, Illinois .

Comment by Blago's Hare Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 5:10 pm
“Caption?”

“I’ll give you my opinion, …but it’s the Office’s opinion, you don’t want to know my own personal opinion… trust me.”

General,

All in fun.

OW

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 5:42 pm
4 syllables, people. We have cons and tea. 3rd syllable: also, more than one. Come on…….

Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 5:57 pm
Gee, you can hardly see the strings.

Comment by Robert0117 Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 5:59 pm
“OMG! Is it? In the back of the room, my dear friend Barbra Streisand! C’mon up, Babs. No, c’mon. We’ll do a duet!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 6:34 pm
“We called him Senator Two-Times, ’cause he said everything twice.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 6:37 pm
I understand that two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 6:44 pm
“Don’t you know my father is the Speaker? Now proceed to bow before me!”

Comment by Holdingontomywallet Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 8:26 pm
“This is how I hold in my hands the state constitution when I read it –but now I seem not to be able to find it. GGGhheeeshh anyone seen it or have a copy?”

Comment by lost in the weeds Wednesday, Jul 15, 15 @ 10:11 pm
“My dad says …”

Comment by Late to the Party Thursday, Jul 16, 15 @ 6:33 am
This is the Church. This the….

Comment by William Jennings Bryan Thursday, Jul 16, 15 @ 6:49 am