Latest Post | Last 10 Posts | Archives
Previous Post: Prepare for a skewering
Next Post: Rate Uber’s new radio ad
Posted in:
* When it rains…
There should be enough pumpkins for Halloween this year, but that might not be the case for the canned pumpkin used in pies come Thanksgiving, according to crop experts in Illinois, the country’s top pumpkin-producing state.
“I would not wait until Nov. 20,” University of Illinois professor Mohammad Babadoost said, referencing the Nov. 26 holiday. “I’d buy it whenever it comes to the store.”
Large canned-pumpkin manufacturer Libby says yields could be off by as much as a third this year in Illinois, where about 90 percent of the pumpkins grown in the U.S. come from within a 90-mile radius of Peoria.
Libby’s corporate and brand affairs director Roz O’Hearn said the company, which has had a central Illinois pumpkin-processing plant since 1929, is confident it will have enough pumpkin for autumn holidays.
But, she said, “once we ship the remainder of the 2015 harvest, we’ll have no more Libby’s pumpkin to sell until harvest 2016.”
* The Question: The next great calamity to befall Illinois?
Snark is heavily encouraged, of course.
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:20 pm
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
Previous Post: Prepare for a skewering
Next Post: Rate Uber’s new radio ad
WordPress Mobile Edition available at alexking.org.
powered by WordPress.
The Cubs seem like a safe bet for a calamity.
Comment by The Captain Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:24 pm
Slip and Sue becomes Governor as Rauner takes a cabinet position
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:24 pm
The Feds will eliminate subsidies for ethanol.
Comment by Angry Republican Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:25 pm
A shortage of Ritalin as the budget crisis means the state can no longer afford to pay attention.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:26 pm
Had Linus gotten the EDGE credits he applied for, a more sincere pumpkin patch couldn’t have been found.
Comment by Blue dog dem Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:26 pm
I predict the next calamity to be Ken Dunkin appointed to be the next Director of Agriculture!
No, the next calamity will be snowfall. Speaker Madigan and the snow plows he controls won’t be there to clean it up.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:27 pm
State loses electricty at the Capitol, government moves to “Candle-Ready” Old State Capitol to continue impasse
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:28 pm
The Feds ban high fructose corn syrup
Comment by Angry Republican Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:29 pm
A monsoon of BS emanating in and around the Capitol will close down the government.
Comment by Dudeman Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:31 pm
Kristen McQueary joins the Rauner Press Shop under the guise of adding objectivity
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:31 pm
Cubs World Series win ushers in the End Times?
Comment by Century Club Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:33 pm
I hate to point out that the last time the Cubs were in the World Series was the last time an Atomic weapon was used in anger. Just sayin . . .
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:35 pm
Bruce Rauner vows to not ride his motorcycle or plaid shirts until a budget is passed. A symbol of solidarity for the poor and single parents who are victims of the child care and other social service cuts
Comment by Almost the Weekend Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:36 pm
Truckers for toy manufacturers boycott Illinois starting in November to protest poor road conditions.
Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:37 pm
Illinois suffers a toilet paper shortage during this rise in BS from BR.
Comment by Nearly Normal Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:37 pm
The watermelon crop in Thomson was off this year. Melon capital of Illinois and home of the new federal prison (well not new, but newly federal).
Comment by Stooges Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:38 pm
The unexpected surplus of whipped cream combined with Illinois’ failure to pay local health clinics results in a massive STD outbreak right before Christmas.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:38 pm
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
Comment by Dance band on the Titanic Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:39 pm
Governor tries to become more “folksy”, will now grow a mullet until a budget is passed. True calamity ensues.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:39 pm
The state of Illinois sues… the state of Illinois for not funding itself, “Illinois” loses, has to pay the losing side’s lawyer (Illinois) lawyer fees as part of the settlement rendered.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:39 pm
Kristen McQueary pens a column entitled, “Sorry Virginia, corrupt union bosses in cahoots with the protected political class led by Mike Madigan killed Santa Claus.”
Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:40 pm
Next great calamity?
People stop liking Facebook statuses about curing cancer, loving your children, or supporting US service members.
Comment by Timmeh Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:42 pm
Sensing an end to more subsidies and free stuff, Reinsdorf moves the White Sox to Montreal. Rahm turns US Cellular into a giant day care center.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:43 pm
Kristen McQueary holds simulated rescue off the Governor’s Mansion roof. The roof stays intact, both the walls holding up the roof… implode upon itself.
No more mansion.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:45 pm
Due to pumpkin shortage, state pie is now the cow pie. Served daily at the statehouse.
Comment by pool boy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:45 pm
Once the first medical cannabis patient finally gets access to medicine, the flood gates open and the whole state goes up in smoke as 99% of the population suddenly all decide to become potheads.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:46 pm
“Kristen McQueary Named Director of IEMA”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:47 pm
France and Egypt sue southern Illinois over the names of their cities.
Comment by Timmeh Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:49 pm
Illini basketball makes it the Final Four but is denied the opportunity to play as the institution they play for has been eliminated earlier that week.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:50 pm
Doctors discover that eating an apple every day at noon will extend one’s life indefinately!!
Comment by Downstate Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:52 pm
Illinois State Troopers “guesstimating” speeding cars and running down those speeders by bicycle to save gas and battery costs
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:53 pm
Dubai takes over the title of the World’s Largest Catsup Bottle from Collinsville.
Comment by Jeff Trigg Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:54 pm
Well, here’s our opening. It’s time to make the Sweet potato the state vegetable.
Comment by A guy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:54 pm
Steve Bartman accepts the GoFundMe offer to attend the Cubs game after a 10 year hiatus. Cubs choke and lose the game but Bartman is again blamed for another disappointing playoff loss despite it not being his fault.
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:56 pm
Vladimir Putin masses his troops along the Indiana border.
Comment by Secret Square Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:56 pm
No pumpkins and there’s a statue missing in Metropolis. Something just ain’t right here.
Comment by A guy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:57 pm
Pumpkin farmers the next wave of mass exodus from Illinois
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:57 pm
Kinda wish I could say I’m gonna miss that pumpkin pie.
It’s just I can’t.
Comment by A guy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:58 pm
As the budget crisis reaches past 100 days, Rich Miller finally and reluctantly suspends the various state subscriptions due to lack of payment.
“We’re flying blind now,” says Senate President John Cullerton. “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel about this bill without Cap Fax to tell me,” proclaimed House Majority Leader Barbara Flynn Currie, referring to the Fair Map legislation.
“We’ve lost all contact with the mother ship,” said Rep. Ron Sandack. “All House Republicans should vote their conscience until we can re-establish communications with the second floor. Any House Republican without a conscience should just vote the same way I do,” he said.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 3:59 pm
Alleged motor fuel tax receipts being held in escrow currently get withdrawn by two fellas named “Moose” and “Rocco”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:00 pm
A lack of natural predators has led to an explosion in the population of orange barrels on the interstate. All interstate traffic has been slowed to 55 or 45 in work zones. It now takes 8 hours to get to Chicago from southern Illinois.
Comment by LGHB Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:02 pm
Did I miss something? Superman gone?
Comment by Blue dog dem Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:02 pm
Canned punkin’ pie filling might be in short supply, but no shortage of turkeys to be found under the rotunda.
Comment by SourKraut Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:03 pm
State to auction off border counties to the corresponding connected border state. Illinois now has 47 counties, Springfield becomes the largest city, and this new Illinois has no access to the Mississippi and Ohio rivers and Lake Michigan.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:05 pm
The TurnAround Agenda grows again to ten items! Including tax relief for pumpkin farmers, before a budget is passed.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:08 pm
“The Great Pumpkin” moves to Wisconsin to avoid slaughter. Linus is heartbroken,
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:12 pm
apple shortage, Madigan found eating cuties for linch instead….
Comment by Ghost Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:14 pm
State Pensions get stiffed on 2 months’ contributions, agree to take “State Assets” in lieu of cash. JRTC spectacularly imploded, land sold to Rahm for casino. Frerichs “accidentally locked” in Capitol Vault for 5 days, escapes serious injury by nibbling on old bills.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:15 pm
With all available pumpkins headed for slaughter and then the cannery, instead of jack-o-lanterns, this year Illinois will only have jack @$$+$ on display at the Capitol.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:21 pm
HBO - “Dad’s Home State” - Season 1, Episode 71
Dave Bakke interviews Diana on the success of the HBO show while Bruce ruins her social service group. Bruce visits state universities to mock parents while wearing “Dartmouth Dad” sweatshirt. Lance tweets selfie with the Veto Stamp, “ck” spends day blacking out emails under a FOIA. Comedy, 58 minutes.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:23 pm
Cubs win World Series and lost productivity due to the celebrations, with and without alcohol, cause a 10% contraction in Illinois’ economic activity.
Comment by Anyone Remember Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:25 pm
As unions mobilize, Putin airdrops supplies to prop up Rauner regime.
Comment by lurks Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:26 pm
Corn, the Vegetable, refuses to grow until Turnaround Agenda is passed. Feed Corn will continue to grow, but at a much slower, deliberate rate.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:27 pm
No pumpkin. No bread. Eat cake.
Comment by Joe M Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:27 pm
=== Blue dog dem - Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:02 pm:
Did I miss something? Superman gone?====
Yep, witnesses say “in a single bound”.
Comment by A guy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:43 pm
Secretary White prepares “Make Your Plate” home kits to be emailed to all .Illinoisans owning motor vehicles.
With the email instructions, car owners gather construction paper, a red and blue marker and a hole punch, and they create license plates, unsensored, for the foreseeable future.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:43 pm
The next great calamity to befall Illinois?
Raunner Becomes Governor !
Oh, crap; little late.
Comment by sal-says Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:43 pm
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, Had a wife and couldn’t keep her. He put her in a pumpkin shell, And there he kept her very well.
Peter is Rauner.
Wife is Madigan.
Pumpkin shell is the 2016 Budget.
Comment by Mama Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:45 pm
Need a pumpkin? I gotta guy.
Comment by A guy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:45 pm
Due to the lack of a budget, elections are suspended and Rauner becomes governor for life.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:45 pm
All traffic signals, and street lights, on all state routes will be turned off to save money…
Tow truck business grows 1,345%
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:52 pm
State and university employee power is harnessed using bicycle powered electrical generators, which keeps the lights on until everyone is evicted due to non payment of building rent.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:52 pm
Rauner issues an executive order removing the State of Illinois from the Union.
Comment by aufjunk Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:54 pm
The Cubs lose the World Series and the North Side burns.
-or-
The Cubs win the World Series and the North Side burns.
Uh-oh.
Comment by jerry 101 Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:55 pm
“Dad’s Home State” becomes top rated television program, as nation becomes obsessed by Illinois fiscal disaster and mismanagement.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:59 pm
“Due to the lack of a budget, elections are suspended and Rauner becomes governor for life.” The new nightmare on Elm Street.
Comment by Mama Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 4:59 pm
Illinois loses Chicago in violent war with Indiana to rip their economic heart out.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:06 pm
State food, safety, and health inspectors go to “3-day” work week to save money.
Self-reporting violations will be encouraged.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:10 pm
All state parks close, “visits” are now encouraged via pay per view webcams.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:15 pm
Peoria Journal Star’s Chris Kaergard is declared to have the world’s longest Beard at 17′8″ replacing Hans N. Langseth in the Guinness book of World Records.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:23 pm
New Madrid earthquake renders all interstate bridges in southern Illinois inoperable.
All nuclear reactors shut down in northern Illinois due to new design flaw.
Zombie apocalypse migrates south from Wisconsin.
Rep. Dunkin has to leave Barbados fact finding trip for emergency meeting of the legislature.
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:25 pm
Punkins don’t turn orange.
Sorta like mine this year. Maybe by Christmas, though.
Comment by sal-says Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:27 pm
No books. State library out of money. No internet users no payment shut off. No mail to request donations because no one has any money to buy stamp let alone to put in the envelope. Oh no pumpkin for pies. Not true tough Illinois people they grew them in the back yard. Not so the guys who are causing all this
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:36 pm
Rauner works at a day care center one day a week, to fill in for a laid off employee. He has the time.
Comment by Langhorne Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:36 pm
As the independent mapping program gains momentum, Lincoln County is discovered and throws a wrench into the entire works.
Comment by Anon221 Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 5:57 pm
Dunkin is found punkin’ chunkin’ out back of the state capitol.
Comment by South Central Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 6:25 pm
Rauner threatens to cancel Halloween and Thanksgiving if the pumpkin pies are not renamed dunkin pies and Dunkin doesn’t get a piece of the pie.
Comment by jt Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 6:26 pm
-jt…Darn good!
Comment by Blue dog dem Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 8:07 pm
Cubs win world series. Sox and Cardinal fans go into a deep funk over the end of the billy goat curse.
Comment by Huh? Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 8:47 pm
Moody’s introduces a new and never before used credit rating for Illinois to reflect a strong ability to repay that’s being diminished over time by political paralysis. The new credit rating is called bleen in honor of the late George Carlin for the new integer he discovered.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 9:13 pm
Cook County Bee Farmers have poor yields also.
Comment by a modest proposal Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 9:31 pm
Cubs win the World Series.
Comment by lost in the weeds Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 10:33 pm
Total Solar Sclipse occurs in August 2017. No one can get to Southern Illinois to see maximum totality because Illinois closed in 2016 and has not reopened.
Comment by lost in the weeds Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 10:39 pm
Total Solar Eclipse, gheezz….
Comment by lost in the weeds Tuesday, Oct 6, 15 @ 10:39 pm
Substitute the mushy pulp to be found in the skulls of most wishy washy Illinois pols and you can bake as many pies as you want!
Comment by Different Strokes Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 12:00 am
Gov. press release: I didn’t want to deny everyone their pumpkins by holding them hostage, but without passing reforms, like redistricting to improve our business climate, I am forced to hold on to the remaining pumpkins. If you want pumpkins, call Madigan and the legislators he controls and tell them to pass my reforms, all of them even the ones I don’t actually talk about, so you can have your pumpkins.
Comment by burbanite Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 7:47 am
Due to a lack of budget - we will no longer be able to afford the Gregorian calendar and its two extra months, and will be forced to revert back to the Julian calendar. This, of course, will tick off the Pope - among others - to no end.
Comment by Name Withheld Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 8:20 am
“we will no longer be able to afford the Gregorian calendar and its two extra months”
Actually, the Gregorian calendar CUT 10 days out of the month of October 1582 when it was originally implemented in Catholic countries such as Spain. By the time England and its then-colonies adopted it in 1752, they had to cut 11 days. So actually it would have been an excellent budget cutting measure
Comment by Secret Square Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 8:30 am
I can’t believe no one is talking about pumpkin spice flavored coffee drinks!
Comment by IBE Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 8:33 am
Gov. sells U of I engineering program to MIT in move to trim salary costs.
Comment by skeptical Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 9:07 am
Captain’s log, star date 51257.6 it has been over 500 years since the State of Illinois has had a budget. The clones of the governor and speaker are still fighting over the turn around agenda. The judicial system has been the sole arbiter of what bills are paid.
The small business system specializing in social servicesecurity didn’t last through the first term of the original governor due to his single minded stance that his pro business/anti-union agenda get passed before any consideration of a budget or tax increase.
AFSCME, the ancestor of the current Milky Way Galaxy Federation of Government Employees used the stand off between the governor and speaker to grow into what is becoming the universal union of government workers.
Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Oct 7, 15 @ 9:16 am