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posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 1:59 pm
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Previous Post: From the mouths of babes
Next Post: File this under “Stuff I didn’t know”
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“…’Fire Madigan’, I’m Bruce Rauner”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:02 pm
“You go to Portillo’s get the Strawberry Shake, you’ll thank me later… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:02 pm
You’re short…deal with it.
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:03 pm
“I’m workin’ for you, right after I head to West Palm for some R & R… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:03 pm
“Unions? A lot like onions. They both stink. Oh, I crack myself up!”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:03 pm
Hi…I workin’ to make it better…
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:04 pm
“Get yourself a plaid shirt, then come back and we’ll do some business.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“Think how well these workers would be doin’ here earnin’ less, no collective bargainin’, this place would be thrivin’, just thrivin’… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“I have another great idea, sell the state fairgrounds.” “We only use that place about two weeks a year. That can bring in another $500,000″.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
That’s a great picture of John Madden and Levon Helm.
Comment by Ducky LaMoore Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“I already fooled you, right?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:06 pm
I sold the planes…I get driven everywhere I go, and THAT’s the only reason I’m here in…HEY, WHERE THE HELL AM I?!
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:06 pm
“Does this sport coat make me look like Mike Brady from the Brady Bunch?”
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:06 pm
“Hey, aren’t you the guy who put the Crisco in my rollerblading helmet?”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:07 pm
“….then, when there’s nothing left, you can’t borrow another buck from the bank or buy a case of booze, you bust the joint out. You light a match.”
Comment by Wordslinger Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:07 pm
“Let me tell ya somethin’ about poll numbers, pal. I don’t believe ‘em unless my people do the polls.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:09 pm
“Take this guy in the blue shirt, here. Goldberg hired him just to stand around and smile like everything’s goin’ fine.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:11 pm
“Look, I’m governator of this State. I always go to the head of the food line.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:12 pm
I really thought about riding my Harley here today, hey do you own a bike?
Comment by The Dude Abides Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:12 pm
“You go see my tailor in Manhattan, Garment District, you tell him ‘Dartmouth Bruce’ sent you and you want the works… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:12 pm
Looks like I need a bigger hammer.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:13 pm
“Moe always poked both eyes. C’mon. Lemme do just one.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
“My daughter got into Payton Prep on her own, perfect score, perfect score… you tell your niece too bad… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
If ya buy this building down on lake and lasalle, I won’t make u pay union wages guy
Comment by Poolguy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
“You go tell them I’m not extreme or angry!!!!”
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:14 pm
You might be a big tool here Wiegel, but I’m the biggest tool in the whole darn state.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:15 pm
Have I got a building to sell you!
Comment by Honeybear Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:15 pm
“Did Mrs. Rauner tell you to say that? No, I’m not wrecking social services, tell Diana that too… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:15 pm
“This is a strong finger because I’m a strong guy. Why, I can poke this finger right through an apple.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:15 pm
“Tool works?
The future is in China!”
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:15 pm
“When you are Governor, you don’t need a dry cleaner. Light brown wrinkled pants looks great with this 1960’s era dark brown sport coat.”
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:16 pm
“Computer parts!
Not a bankrupted nursing home - computer parts!”
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:17 pm
Sorry pool guy. I took too long thinking of something and when I finally posted it I said the same thing! FUNNY! GMTA (great minds think alike!)
Comment by Honeybear Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:17 pm
“Hey! I said you’ll get your lottery payout if we ever settle this budget thing. Now get outta here!”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:17 pm
I have the perfect Loop location for your expansion. Right over a major transportation hub. A Helmut Jahn design.
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:18 pm
“One word; Bankruptcy… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:18 pm
“The wave of the future? Video poker in school buses.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:19 pm
“You want a stock tip? Here’s a stock tip for you. Don’t ever let a kid make you bid $64,000 for one cow.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:20 pm
“If I were you, I’d worry about getting crushed, your family too. I don’t have enemies, they aren’t around that long. Know what I mean, bub?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:21 pm
“I’m winning in Springfield.”
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:21 pm
“Lemme guess. You go to the same tailor as Jimmy Capparusso.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:22 pm
“You tell Madigan… I ain’t no band leader… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:22 pm
“Before this is over, I’m going to own the ENTIRE state.”
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:22 pm
“Gimme a call as soon as you get the patent on those no-slip shoes for Evelyn.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:23 pm
“Which one of my phony talking points do you believe the most is true?… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:23 pm
“I thought Goldberg sent you a letter… Oh, don’t worry, you’ll know when you get it… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:24 pm
So long as you point your finger like this and say some combination of “Madigan, status quo, & failing” the reporters seem to leave you alone. You should try it!
Guy in blue shirt: “Well I’ll be darned!”
Comment by Jocko Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:25 pm
Rauner explains to a JRTC based worker why the basement of the Michael A. Bilandic Building will make for a great open concept work space for him and his JRTC coworkers.
Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:26 pm
“Let me tell you why child care in Illinois is bad for business…”
Comment by Pleading the Fifth Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:27 pm
“No! You tell me! Which one of my Owls do you want to vote what pretty color button. It’s fun, you pick one, I’ll invite you, we’ll go on the floor and watch that Owl press whatever button you want. Call me.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:27 pm
“Your favorite is what? Mogen David? I use that to clean the grease off my Harley.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:28 pm
“Think about it, if I cared about people, you think I’d hold up the budget like I am?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:30 pm
“You head on over to my Cigar Club. You tell the doorman, ‘Prop Coat’ invited you, and pick yourself out a nice cigar. Enjoy. Forget all these people… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:32 pm
“Tonight, around midnight, you sneak into Madigan’s house and put an Asian carp in his bed. It’ll be a scream.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:32 pm
“Hey! I’m not Sonny. I’m Michael. Got it?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:35 pm
“So glad you ‘think’ I care. Thanks. Always good to know I haven’t lost my touch… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:36 pm
“I’m not a Cubs or Cardinals fan. Red. Sox. Red Sox. Got it?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:38 pm
“Then I told Durkin and Radogno… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:46 pm
Lot’s of ways to lower wages.
Comment by walker Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:49 pm
“I’m useless, as Governor… I have no power. Hear me? Madigan and Cullerton, I’m useless compared to them… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:49 pm
“I am a rock, Madigan is a sham rock!”
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:52 pm
“You think Trump is crazy? Wait till you see the wall around Illinois to keep businesses here!”
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:52 pm
The Thompson Center is awful, I wouldn’t let my dogs in that crummy old dump. But for your business, it would be great! You could pay us a billion dollars for it and still make a profit.
Comment by Quizzical Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:52 pm
“I’m going to blow your mind…wait for it…sell the state highways. Think of how little we really use those”.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:56 pm
Pull my finger.
Comment by Beaner Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:59 pm
Illinois point man
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 2:59 pm
This hand fits a french horn perfectly
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:15 pm
Meet pointocchio
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:20 pm
Hey you! Yeah, you, the one in the black jacket. Can you sign this for me. Nevermind what it’s for. But since you signed it, it’s for this building called the Thompson. And now you own it. Congrats.
Comment by How Ironic Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:23 pm
After 100+ days without a budget, the administration’s Tool Works ratio is about 90:10.
– MrJM
Comment by @MisterJayEm Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:26 pm
“Where do you live? I’ll make you a House member or a Senate member, Democrat, Republican… I. Don’t. Care. Got me? You call one of my people, I’ll get you a seat in the General Assembly, got it?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:27 pm
What’s my Turnaround Agenda? Turn around and I’ll show ya HAR HAR.
Comment by IllinoisBoi Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:35 pm
When I Turnaround what do you see? Just another as—–.
Comment by Roscoe Tom Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:39 pm
You set the bag on fire then ring the door bell
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:39 pm
You aren’t one of those union thugs are ya?
Comment by burbanite Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:51 pm
“This is the business we’ve chosen. Don’t ask who gave the order. It has nothing to do with business.”
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:52 pm
I love your nails
Comment by Das Man Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 3:57 pm
“Next time I need prop real people types, someone will call you.”
Civilians… Trying hard to keep the civilian(s) out of this..
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:06 pm
“Tool Works, eh? Can I send you some resumes?”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:16 pm
My blame finger has been stuck like this from June
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:22 pm
“You sure you’re not Bernie Sanders without the glasses? ‘Cause you look a lot like Bernie Sanders to me.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:25 pm
These are too good - can not and will not attempt to compete. Back to the ball game.
Comment by illini Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:28 pm
“One thing I’ve learned, when you’re making beer can chicken, never use an old spit can.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:29 pm
Pull my finger…for Illinois.
Comment by LBJ Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:47 pm
I’m packing heet like trump
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 4:51 pm
“I’m gonna like firing you guys.”
Comment by Hedley Lamarr Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 5:13 pm
“You tell your friends; They. Make. Too. Much. Money!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 5:35 pm
“Once I strip Unions of Collective Bargaining and Prevailing Wages, you mark my words, Unions will go way, amirite? Thank goodness… “.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 5:37 pm
It’s because Madigan
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 5:41 pm
What do you mean I’m the biggest tool here?
Comment by Anonymoose Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 6:52 pm
“I may be a lousy governor, but I bet the Cubs beat eliminate the Cardinals tonight.”
Which is what happened.
Comment by Grandson of Man Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 6:58 pm
We sold Thompson prison why not the center too?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 7:21 pm
“I will not stop dropping my g’s.”
Comment by Ryan Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 7:45 pm
“Hey! Aren’t you that guy everybody hates?”
“Oh no. I’m Monty Burns!”
Comment by Dirty Red Tuesday, Oct 13, 15 @ 11:40 pm
The only tool I have is Goldberg and this veto finger
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:12 am
Smell this
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:13 am
I lost my yoyo
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:28 am
The blue bird of happiness flew away
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:30 am
Tool time
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:31 am
Goldberg’s weaving grass bowls over there
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:33 am
I’m the child of a biscuit eater
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:35 am
Low information voters are the backbone of Illinois
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 14, 15 @ 5:47 am