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* The governor spoke to school kids this week…
Another student asked what tasks he has to perform.
Gov. Rauner told the students he meets with world leaders, attends funerals for fallen officers and firefighters, and signs bills into law.
* The Question: Can you also describe the governor’s job duties?
posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:55 pm
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Wait, first can we verify he has actually done the first two on his list?
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:56 pm
This QoD is too golden not to use snark….the job duties of a governor include stone walling issues until that person gets their way. And….those other things noted.
Comment by Levois Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:57 pm
Very busy not submitting a balanced budget.
Comment by too obvious Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:57 pm
As to this Governor…… hmmmmm. Nope, I can’t think of anything else.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:59 pm
Firing the flunky who was supposed to provide my teleprompter.
Comment by Nick Name Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:59 pm
Stand up for the people of Illinois against Mike Madigan and the Legislators he controls.
Comment by GraduatedCollegeStudent Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:59 pm
===Gov. Rauner told the students he meets with world leaders…===
Dear goodness gracious, Rauner thinks he’s the Vice President of the United States…
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 1:59 pm
Count my money.
Drop my “g”s.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:00 pm
“I wake up every morning to keep Illinois from a Governor Slip and Sue… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:01 pm
Taste testing strawberry shakes at Portillo’s
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:01 pm
======Gov. Rauner told the students he meets with world leaders…===
Dear goodness gracious, Rauner thinks he’s the Vice President of the United States… ===
Not just any Veep, but Dan Quayle, if I remember certain quotes correctly.
Comment by GraduatedCollegeStudent Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:02 pm
World leaders?
Comment by Wordslinger Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:02 pm
Trickin and treatin
Comment by Timmeh Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:02 pm
From Rauner’s actions, it’s primarily to act surprised at, and victimized by, the reality of the job, when the duties, the people, the personalities, and their constituents largely were what everyone expected them to be.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:03 pm
He also invented Post-Its.
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:03 pm
look spooky.
Comment by John A Logan Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:04 pm
Did he take Squeezy with him?
Comment by Qui Tam Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“Well, I drive this pretty rad van.”
Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:05 pm
To not double his weight while eating at every single restaurant in the Springfield area.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“My hobbies are trying on Carhartt jackets and stretching my thumbs for my thumbs up photo ops.”
Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“Do you kids ever have group projects? I don’t!”
Comment by Robert the Bruce Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:05 pm
President of his Fraternity…
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:07 pm
Taking turns role playing with Mike Madigan.
One is a rock. The other is a brick wall.
Then they trade places.
Comment by Formerly Known As... Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:07 pm
Tweet pics from local restaurants
Comment by Poolguy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:07 pm
To get Madigan and Cullerton to accept the turnaround agenda not as leaders in a coequal branch of government, but instead as the middle managers Rauner believes them to be.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:07 pm
Dereliction
Comment by Austin Blvd Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:08 pm
Just fixin the state from all the mistakes that the previous governors made.
Comment by Big Joe Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:09 pm
Dropin’ “g’s” and “G’s”
Comment by D.P.Gumby Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:09 pm
Keeping’ the lights, water, and gas on while demolishing anything that can’t be directly linked to me… Oh! … and tweet pictures of me givin’ a hearty thumbs up for no particular reason.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:09 pm
Keepin’ “ck” busy.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:10 pm
“I sometimes sneak into Boondocks and stand in the back.”
Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:10 pm
Zelig-like social skills
Comment by Poolguy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:10 pm
==meets with world leaders==
Angela Merkel won’t agree to end collective bargaining, Steven Harper may have considered it, but a recent election makes that a moot point.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:11 pm
“Star and lead storyline for a realty show that airs on HBO titled ‘Dad’s Home State’. It’s listed is a comedy, but I don’t get it”
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:12 pm
“Well kids, I hire Superstars with gobs of money your parents pay in taxes. You see, mom & dad make too much money so I give their tax money to my Superstars so they can help me insure mom & dad make less. It’s called Turnin’ Around. No Timmy, not like that. Please sit down.”
Comment by Cubs in '15 Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:12 pm
Owl herder.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:13 pm
Man, I really wish we had the ability to “Like” comments here.
Comment by Squround Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:13 pm
Says the following to his aides: “We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
Comment by Keyrock Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:14 pm
Point fingers
Comment by Buzzie Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:14 pm
Tryin’ to live on a measly $57.5 million per year, while managin’ to pay for a new roof on the mansion.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:16 pm
…Carhart model; elocution coach; President of the Springfield chapter of the Guilty Remnant…
Comment by Captain Illini Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:16 pm
“Tweetin chief excellency of Illinoise”
Comment by Jorge Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:17 pm
Campaignin’
Comment by Archiesmom Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:17 pm
Nope, I have no clue what he does.
Comment by Arsenal Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:18 pm
HBO - “Dad’s Home State” - Season 1, Episode 82
Bruce goes to a school, takes kids questions only after they are cleared by “ck”. Diana heads to the Rauner Family Y and finds people protesting, and she joins them. Lance tweets pictures of Bruce with World Leaders, Goldberg writes notes to the World Leaders thanking them for stopping by. Comedy, 68 minutes.
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:19 pm
Part time magician, can make Rep. Dunkin disappear.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:19 pm
It’s his job to say, it’s Madigan’s fault.
Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:20 pm
He also forces the republicans in the Legislature to vote his way or he will find a candidate to run against them
Comment by Shane_91 Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:20 pm
Blamin’
Finding new people to blame.
Finding new ways to blame the same people.
Whew! I get tired just thinking about it.
Comment by Sir Reel Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:21 pm
He is a heckuva ventriloquist for Leader Durkin.
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:23 pm
Shakin’ up Springfield.
Sayin’ one thing and doin’ another.
Tryin’ to bust the unions.
Makin’ the municipalities use up their reserves because they have too much money in the bank.
What do I do? - Nothin’
Comment by Huh? Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:23 pm
This is scary, because he actually may not know what a governor does. A normal governor, that is.
Comment by Archiesmom Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:24 pm
Hostage takin’
Accountability duckin’
Question dodgin’
mushroom threatenin’
Talking’
Nervous laughin’
Comment by Wordslinger Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:24 pm
Designated Trash Can Van Driver. Polisher of the Harley Davidson.
Comment by Stones Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:24 pm
decimating services to the elderly and poor. Oh hold on … my phone is ringing … Cullerton? “Tell him I’m busy! then call my driver, I need to go home. Nothing is getting done here anyway.”
Comment by jstkerrie2u Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:25 pm
Fake Governor, “Kids, sometimes people say things to the press without thinking. It is my job to make sure those people go back to the press and tell them what they really meant to say.”
Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:26 pm
I am all about “winning”. That’s all I do. All day. Every day. Winning
Comment by Honeybear Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:27 pm
===attends funerals for fallen officers and firefighters====
Say what you will about Pat Quinn, I don’t think he would have called going to vets funerals a task.
Comment by Been There Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:30 pm
“Dad’s Home Place” is wonderful!
I wonder if any of the upcoming episodes will have the world leaders upset because their cover is blown by the FOIA release of calendar details of their numerous visits to Illinois?
Comment by cdog Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:33 pm
Governor’s duties: “Looking smart in ma’ Carhartts.”
Comment by Christopher Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:33 pm
“I get a ‘threat matrix’ briefing from the NSA…nah, just kidding. I get it from Richard Goldberg.”
Comment by Colin O'Scopey Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:33 pm
I’m too hard on the Governor, I think he’s taking care of business…
“We” get up every morning from your alarm clock’s warning
Take the Trash Can Van into the city
There’s a picket line and people pushin’, people shovin’
And the flacks, who try to sound witty
And if your van’s on time, “We” can get to work by nine
And start my “slaving job” to get NO pay
If you ever get annoyed, look at me, I’m “self-employed”
I love to work at nothing all day
And I’ll be takin’ care of business every day
Takin’ care of business every way
I’ve been takin’ care of business, it’s all mine
Takin’ care of business and working overtime, work out
If it were easy as fishin’, you could be a politicin’
If you could make sounds loud or mellow
Get a second-hand Carhartt, chances are you’ll go far
If you get in with the right bunch of fellows
People see you having fun, just a-lying on the run
Tell them that you like it this way
It’s the work that we avoid and we’re all self-employed
“We” love to work at nothing all day
And we be takin’ care of business every day
Takin’ care of business every way
We’ve been takin’ care of business, it’s all mine
Takin’ care of business and working overtime
Take good care of my business
When I’m away, every day
I get up every morning from the alarm clock’s warning
Take the Trash Can Van into the city
There’s a long picket line and people pushin’, people shovin’
And the flacks, who try to sound witty
And if my van’s on time, I can get to work by nine
And start my “slaving job” to get NO pay
If you ever get annoyed, look at me, “I’m self-employed”
I love to work at nothing all day
And I’ll be takin’ care of business every day
Takin’ care of business every way
I’ve been takin’ care of business, it’s all mine
Takin’ care of business and working overtime
Takin’ care of business
Takin’ care of business
Takin’ care of business
Takin’ care of business
Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:36 pm
Ignore my first six letters. Misfired.
Comment by illinoised Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:36 pm
Causes great suffering to the neediest among us in pursuit of plutocratic goals that would otherwise be unattainable by democratic means.
Comment by PublicServant Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:36 pm
Being the Chief Executive Victim of Illinois
Comment by JS Mill Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:41 pm
He could have told the school kids that his job is to tantrum just like a kindergardener when he doesn’t get his way.
Comment by train111 Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:46 pm
Makin’ sure your older brothers and sisters ain’t goin’ back to college this spring.
Comment by Dance Band on the Titanic Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:47 pm
Rauner forgot: Calling the Trib Ed board to discuss what steps need to be taken to get the State to declare the Ed Board infallible, checking IPI’s website to learn about the booming Kansas economy, and unlearning his ‘G’s.
Comment by From the 'Dale to HP Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:48 pm
After visiting Arundel Castle of the Duke of Norfolk in West Sussex, I asked my dear Uncle John, who lived nearby, “What does the Duke do?” Aghast, Uncle John, ever the Brit, exclaimed, “He is the Duke!” Apparently, Dukes gotta do what Dukes do. So be it with his excellency, the Royal Rauner.
Comment by ottawa otter Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:48 pm
Hi Rich,
As a follow up to the child’s invasive and offensive question today, Gov Rauner has determined that he doesn’t legally have to answer this FOIA request.
However, in light of ‘transparency’ he would like to offer a small sample of his responsibilities.
1. Blame Madigan
2. Drop G’s
3. Evade Responsibilities (particularly those that are constitutionally mandated)
4. Destroy Social Network
5. Provide Free Motorcycle Training
Thanks
ck!
Comment by How Ironic Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:49 pm
“Look kid, every single day I gotta post dozens of anonymous comments on Capitol Fax — I ain’t got time for your silly questions.”
– MrJM
Comment by @MisterJayEm Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:55 pm
Did anyone check to see if the governor was booked to speak to the kids when their field trip to the state museum was cancelled?
Comment by Dilemma Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 2:56 pm
Priceless OW!
Comment by Jack Stephens Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:01 pm
He makes speeches and he tells lies. Sorry for being redundant.
Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:05 pm
Lets see, job duty… 1. Run around the State blaming Madigan for everything. 2. Helped Springfield with some high-speed railroad problem.
Comment by Mama Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:05 pm
“My task is to avoid any actual governin’ while in office.”
Comment by Wensicia Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:07 pm
OW, “Takin’ Care of Bidness” will now be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. It’s all fine though.
To the post, a couple duties not yet reported:
Gettin’ more “flair” for my Harley Vest.
Droppin’ in at the High School Football games. (They always cheer for me. I think that’s “Bruce” they’re yellin’)
Comment by Arthur Andersen Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:21 pm
I get Goldberg coffee
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:27 pm
“Controlling the Raunerites I control on CapitolFax.”
Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:36 pm
Politics is the (Carh)art of the possible?
Comment by Das Man Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:37 pm
Can someone please send him his job description? You would think he would have researched it a bit before he ran for the job.
Comment by burbanite Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:52 pm
The only job duties that I care about are defending our once great state against the only 3 causes of our State’s problems….Obama, Democrats, and unions.
Comment by Ken M Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:54 pm
Really? The first answer out of Gov. Rauner’s mouth is “I meet with world leaders”? Is this guy delusional? He’s a governor, not the president!
Comment by Former Hoosier Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:55 pm
Lying to school kids…
Comment by Tuesday's Pizza Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 3:55 pm
Read the IL Constitution before vowing to uphold and defend it (of course, no mention of ‘follow it’ was mentioned in the pledge).
Comment by Not quite a majority Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 4:20 pm
1. Starrin’ in my own reality TV show: “Wreckin’ Illinois”
2. Settin’ a bad example for pronunciatin’
3. Believin’ my own P.R.
4. Workin’ less than any previous Governator
5. Harborin’ illusions of grandiosity
6. Impersonatin’ workin’ guys in Carhartt jackets
7. Drivin’ a stinky van when I’m really a billionaire
8. Chucklin’ at Goldberg’s letters
9. Pokin’ pins in my Madigan voodoo doll
10. Prevaricatin’ to innocent school kids
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 4:28 pm
Why should we describe his duties? It is his job to know them, and if he doesn’t, he can pay someone to tell him what to do. Of course, he won’t, because he flunked reading, and can’t read Cap Fax…
Comment by downstate commissioner Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 4:30 pm
Starting in 2016: Sculpt butter cows.
Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:21 pm
Can I describe this governor’s job duties? Uhh, campaigning?
When I read this QOD, I thought–good grief, the guy really has a president complex. Then I read the article–the 6th-grader already had that figured out.
Comment by South Central Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:46 pm
I lower bond ratings
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:49 pm
Campaigning?
Comment by Retiree Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:52 pm
I like bleeding people
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:55 pm
1) Mostly nothin’.
2) Destroy Unions at any and all costs.
3) Destroy IL as a place businesses want to be or come to.
4) Destroy IL.
Comment by sal-says Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 5:59 pm
Take a page from Nero and learn how to play the fiddle.
Comment by Stuff Happens Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:02 pm
Selling Illinois real estate
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:03 pm
I run the corporate welcome wagon
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:05 pm
I can pardon your dad in jail
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:06 pm
Barking executive orders
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:08 pm
Raunerizing Illinois means eliminating collective bargaining rights and removing all unelected state employees from defined benefit plans unless they’re carrying guns.
Comment by Katich Walker, Jr. Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:11 pm
Sham budget proposals
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:12 pm
Phoney budget savings
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:14 pm
…..and don’t distribute motor fuel taxes to municipalities on schedule.
Comment by Katich Walker, Jr. Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:15 pm
Explaining my turnaround agenda to low information voters
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:24 pm
Continually bad mouth the state
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:26 pm
Making things radioactive
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:28 pm
Controlling crisis to my advanage
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:32 pm
I veto bills
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 6:44 pm
Leader of the PAC
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 7:01 pm
Meets with the galactic entity’s
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 7:04 pm
So kids I Shake Things Up ! Others shake people down. Some day you will understand the Springfield way.
Comment by the Cardinal Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 8:12 pm
I wake up every morning and I’m the Governor, whatever that means!
Comment by XDNR Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 8:52 pm
Kids, as Governor I lead by example, so I can tell people to do what I say and not but what I do, make sense, good!
Comment by XDNR Thursday, Oct 22, 15 @ 9:16 pm
I threaten to punch or twist arms and send hate mail
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 23, 15 @ 3:03 am
I’m a bad man
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 23, 15 @ 3:08 am
I’m a civil rights worker against the unions
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 23, 15 @ 3:34 am
I file frivolous law suits as a private citizen
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 23, 15 @ 3:37 am