The *should this word be hyphenated or not?* award.
I personally just like that they couldn’t decide if it was hyphenated or not … so “Award Winning” on the front and “Award-Winning” inside … that way you cover all your bases and are guaranteed to be right at least once!
Award for custom tailoring his mailer to the (possibly up to three) voters who have seen no TV, read no blogs or newspapers, and have not interacted socially with any other human being during the last four months.
- Evanstonian - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:24 am:
Worst at selecting direct mail design vendors.
- A State Employee Guy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:25 am:
Picked The Wrong Woman To Text With Award
- anyong - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:26 am:
“Most Real Blondes Investigated”
- A State Employee Guy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:27 am:
Overall Good Guy Who Didn’t Deserve This Award
- Mail Wizard - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:27 am:
I’d love to meet his mail consultant & campaign manager…. and fire them.
- ItsMillerTime - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:27 am:
The Sacrificial Lamb Award
- Ron Burgundy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:28 am:
“Conduct Most Unbecoming of a Legislator” - Legislative IG
- OneMan - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:29 am:
Fighting Godzilla & Mothra Certificate of Merrit.
Second Annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence
- City Zen - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:29 am:
My favorite award is the appreciation trophy from a school district with a decimal point.
- A State Employee Guy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:31 am:
The We Owe You One Award, sponsored by the Ram Villivalam campaign.
Brainstorming is fun.
- Steve - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:34 am:
The Spirit of Illinois Voters Award-the coveted award that represents the values of Illinois voters.
- bamatthews - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:34 am:
The *should this word be hyphenated or not?* award.
I personally just like that they couldn’t decide if it was hyphenated or not … so “Award Winning” on the front and “Award-Winning” inside … that way you cover all your bases and are guaranteed to be right at least once!
- Sonny - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:34 am:
Number of Valid Signatures Closest to 1,000 Without Going Under Achievement Award 2018.
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:35 am:
The Where Is That Hand Going? Award
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:36 am:
Hands-on Legislator Award
Won’t-take-no-for-an-answer Award
- Annonin' - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:36 am:
We really want to give the direct mail designer some award for the stiff arm salute, but we guess all the credit goes to the Senator.
- Grand Avenue - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:41 am:
Honorary Spokesman for Illinois Salami Council
- Jake From Elwood - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:44 am:
Hoarder of Insignificant Achievements Award
- Rutro - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:47 am:
“Texter of the year”
- A guy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:48 am:
Mr. Congeniality
- Da Snowman - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:51 am:
Honorary Podiatrist Award specializing in the field of toe rings.
- Huh? - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:51 am:
Winner of most awards that are handed out every year.
- zatoichi - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:52 am:
Outstanding cover shot from 1963 award.
Look No Calluses, But Still Fighting award
- Huh? - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:52 am:
Winner of most awards from organizations that most people have never heard about.
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:55 am:
The “Hey Everyone Look at My Wedding Ring” (on the wrong hand) Award
- A Jack - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 10:57 am:
Least Likely to get a date to the next Governor’s Inaugural Ball.
- Steve Rogers - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:00 am:
Schmuck of the Year
- A Jack - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:01 am:
The mostly likely to be fooled by a fake account on the Ashly Madison website award.
- Teddy Salad - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:01 am:
Most self impressed for no reason award.
- Albany Park Patriot - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:09 am:
Least Self-Aware Senator Award.
- What's in a name? - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:12 am:
Did they reverse the photo so its not his wedding ring??
- wordslinger - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:13 am:
The Onion Smooth B Award
- Langhorne - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:15 am:
Winner of the “Sen. Bob Mitchler HUMILITY AWARD!!!”
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:19 am:
The 1980’s Mail Piece Memorial Trophy.
Dear GOD. The mock magazine!!!
- Retired Educator - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:19 am:
This is way to easy. No;I better not comment.
- Leigh John-Ella - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:23 am:
the “Hey look, Ira found his wedding ring” award
- 47th Ward - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:29 am:
They left “conduct unbecoming a Senator” off his list of awards. Weird. They must have printed this piece before he won that distinction.
- wordslinger - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:35 am:
–The mostly likely to be fooled by a fake account on the Ashly Madison website award.–
That’s known as the Ron Sandack Award.
- @misterjayem - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:37 am:
“The Dan Rostenkowski Memorial ‘What? The norms have changed?’ Award”
– MrJM
- Keyrock - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:45 am:
The “What happens in Springfield stays in Springfield” award from the Chamber of Commerce.
No wait, that was taken back.
- Leigh John-Ella - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 11:50 am:
The “I’ve served here nearly 20 years but I have to be photoshopped into a photo of the Capitol” award
- Matt Vernau - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:00 pm:
The ” it seemed like such a nice opportunity” award.
- Snapper - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:03 pm:
Most creative use of the word Salami in a text message.
- downstate commissioner - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:07 pm:
I like the “Mentally Ill” Award…
The “Dumb enough to think that Hot Women Will Want Me” award…
- Wensicia - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:07 pm:
The “Most Likely to Offend” award.
- A guy - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:21 pm:
Even the Nerds kicked me out of their caucus.
- anon2 - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:22 pm:
The Schlemiel Scapegoat of the Year Award
- MacombMike - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 12:38 pm:
He also included a line saying how he has been chosen to be a member of Senate Leadership.
Guess he forgot losing that position
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 1:18 pm:
Given the photo…
The Hi, How YOU Doin’ Award
- VanillaMan - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 1:21 pm:
“The man who single-handedly justified our new sexual harassment laws”
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 1:35 pm:
The Interior Design Council Award for Best Carpet-Drape Matching
- Responsa - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 2:04 pm:
Award for custom tailoring his mailer to the (possibly up to three) voters who have seen no TV, read no blogs or newspapers, and have not interacted socially with any other human being during the last four months.
- Nobody Sent - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 2:46 pm:
Winner of the Creepy Covershot Award
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Feb 9, 18 @ 2:57 pm:
Winner of the First in the Barrel Award.