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* Yesterday’s winner was “OneMan” for his series of comments about that photo of Pat Quinn’s empty refrigerator…
He may not have any money for food but he is going to be getting a new Stainless Sub-Zero fridge since that money comes out of a different budget.
Only I have the mustard to get us out of this jam.
Well I was going to go to Jewel, but then I heard Dominick’s was better, however Whole Foods would appeal to part of my base, but then again shouldn’t I help the small local grocer.
It turns out Governor Quinn did not know someone was providing ‘early release’ to his food. Once he found out about it he stopped it immediately. Pat Quinn, concerned about his fridge, just not aware of it.
My fridge has jam in it now, it isn’t empty, it’s getting more full all the time, that’s progress, that’s Pat Quinn.
And my favorite…
When asked what was in the box on the middle shelf, Quinn answered, “Not Jason Plummer’s tax returns to be leaked in two weeks, that’s for sure.”
E-mail me, Henry, and we’ll drink heavily.
* Today’s contest features a photo of Congressman Mark Kirk…
As always, the winner gets at least an hour of cocktails with yours truly, and maybe OneMan as well. Let’s make it a twofer!
Also, keep it extra clean, please. Thanks.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 5:12 am
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Previous Post: *** UPDATED x1 *** The Dems are “worried,” except they don’t say so
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Look–up there in the sky. It was exactly that type of jet fighter that I bailed out of on a sortie over Iraq while we were under extremely heavy enemy fire. After I bailed the parachute didn’t open and I was forced to rely on the backup to break my fall. The landing on the ground was pretty rough, and I suffered a compound fracture in my femur at 4 different locations. All in a day’s work for Capn Kirk.
train111
Comment by train111 Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 6:22 am
If you’ll trace through the zigs and zags of my explanations of my military service and childhood accident on Graph A, you see that they correlate exactly with the explanations of Alexi’s mob banker service on Graph B.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 6:41 am
“We landed right there, in the Sea of Tranquility. I remember telling Neil and Buzz, ‘you guys go ahead, I’m taking the rover over to a meeting with a delegation of the Klingons….”
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 6:58 am
Wordslinger’s got it.
Comment by Gregor Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:06 am
Hey, look! A squirrel!!
Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:20 am
In this slide, I am rescuing a baby from a burning building, using only dental floss, a ball point pen, and gum …. next slide … this is me, at the 1980 Olympics in Moscow winning the Decathalon, and singing the national anthem - a very proud moment … next slide … this is me, with Elvis and with President Nixon in the Oval Office - what a card Elvis was! … next slide … This is me handing the ball off to William Perry a.k.a. the Fridge, in Super Bowl XX … next slide … this is me, on top of the Berlin Wall, saying “itch bein ein Berliner” … next slide … this is me, Begin, Sadat and Jimmy Carter at the White House - powerful meeting … next slide … this is me, Scotty Pippen, and Michael Jordan talking to Phil Jackson during a timeout …next slide … oh, this is me, and Ald. Dick Mell standing on our desks when I suggested Eugene Sawyer to be the next mayor of Chicago …next slide …
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:26 am
“…and see that seal on the wall? I designed it during my first Campaign. Sitting there bored, listening to my opponent drone on and on during a debate, I picked up a pencil, and began doodling. In less than an hour, I came up with sketches that were adopted by every City, Village, and Town across this great State of ours.
Back then, the series used to be known as the Kirk Series.
Wait! Did I say ‘across the State’? I misstated that. To be precise, I should have said ‘across this Great Country of ours’”.”
Comment by The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:37 am
Willy got it. No way does my jab even come close to describing the Greatness that is known as Kirk.
*hangs her head in shame*
Comment by The REAL Anonymous fka Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:42 am
If you look real close … right there, top corner … yep … that IS paint drying!
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:46 am
Mark Kirk explains his plan to repeal Obamacare while in the first row Fat Glenn Beck listens intently.
Comment by Bakersfield Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:46 am
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, It’s Superman!
No its just a picture of Jim Edgar.
Comment by waitress practicing politics... Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 7:47 am
“If everyone is good … and listens to my stories … when the big hand gets on the 10, and the little hand gets close to the 8 … I have ice cream for everyone …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:02 am
And when you look at this clip from the Sopranos, you can clearly see the people who influenced Alexi Giannoulis. Now, the undercover FBI agent is modeled on me, as I fought the mob New Jersey in between my sorties over Iraq.
Comment by lakeview Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:06 am
In this next piece of game film, you’ll see Alexi putting up his third consecutive airball against the Hungarian youth league.
Comment by WRMNpolitics Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:08 am
Wheel in the sky keep on turnin’.
Oh I don’t know where I’ll be tomorrow.
Comment by Way South of the Border Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:23 am
AAUUUGH! Flying monkeys! Just like the ones that attacked me over Iraq. Everyone take cover. I’ll protect you.
Comment by Draznnl (Rhymes with orange) Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:25 am
Right over there is the picture of John Porter telling me to enlist so I looked like a manly man.
I think after fighting in 100 wars across the globe Porter was right!
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:28 am
Super Kirk, attempts to shoot down imaginary planes with his super secret weapon, a finger pistol.
Comment by Draznnl (Rhymes with orange) Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:28 am
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…ME!
I know, how can I be there and here at the same time?
Trust me - I’m Mark Kirk, and I approve of this reality.
Comment by the truth Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:32 am
I want to buy vowel ~ “A”!
Comment by SouthernIL Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:34 am
I parachuted in from over there under heavy sniper fire. It reminded me of the jump I made into Normandy in 44. We lost a lot of good man that day. Wait a minute, I wasn’t even alive in 44….moving on….
Comment by Oser Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:37 am
That’s the UFO I shot down int he Semi-Biographic Film Independence Day….i’m still figuring out why the hired Will Smith to play me…………..
Comment by JCIII Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:37 am
Okay word Slingers Sci-fi refference crushes mine i just read everyone elses.
Comment by JCIII Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:39 am
That my folks is a AH64-A Apache, The one I flew in Kuwait.
Comment by VoterUSA Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:39 am
I think the spitball came from over there…
Comment by VoterUSA Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:41 am
Superman - Eminem, censored by Vanilla
Man
They call me Superman, leap tall polls in a single bound. I’m single now, got no ring on this finger now. I’d never let another chick bring me down, in a relationship.
Save it ‘lexi, you make me sick. Superman ain’t savin’ yo s#!+, Dems you can jump on Commander’s @!&%. Straight from the hip, cut to the chase, I tell that mutha-sucka, to his face. Superman play no games, say no names, ever since I won this nomination fame. I’m Superman, so kiss my hand, ‘lexi that is all I ask.
VMan, just keepin’ clean, yo!
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:42 am
And then I said to Goliath, you got a problem with Israelites. . .
Comment by Way Way Down Here Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:43 am
Hey! Alexi, stop! using that laser pen on me.
Comment by VoterUSA Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:47 am
“okay, survey says… show me:….. Apple Pie!” Bzzzt! “Sorry, no luck there, we’ll be right back with more Family Feud!!!!”
Comment by Techboy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:47 am
“…and right over there is where I created the internet. “
Comment by tukas Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:48 am
Bravo Techboy …word and VM as always, spot-on!
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:49 am
See that line up there??…that is where the unemployment would be if McCain got elected.
Comment by VoterUSA Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:51 am
Now, if you look above me, I want to demonstrate that Dodie McCracken is not my puppet master.
Comment by Joliet Jackhammers, RIP Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:51 am
And if you look in the upper corner of the fridge you will see some V-8
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:54 am
Now that is me slaying the huns … let me tell you it took real testicular verility to will that battle!
Comment by WOW Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:57 am
Nice tie-in, OneMan….
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:01 am
“Pull my finger!”
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:03 am
If you follow along on the graph, you can see how my truthiness qoutient has gone up in direct proportion to the amount of garbage spewed by other GOP candidates nationwide. Seriously, next to Christine O’Donnell and Joe Miller, I’m Honest Abe.
Comment by Berkeley Bear Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:05 am
Now. Here is yet another app that I’ve personally developed for the iPrevaricator.
Comment by Dooley Dudright Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:06 am
Dangit. Wordslingers got this one wrapped up.
My entry:
If everyone can please look to the top window of the watertower. That’s where I sat calling out locations to the Chicago Fire Department until I was forced to come down and put that damn fire out myself.
Comment by How Ironic Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:07 am
Rich, I’m not going to even try to match these comments. But you should send them over to the editors of the Daily Herald with the note, “Here are some comments about YOUR choice for US Senator.” (Forget about sending them to the bozos at the Tribune, as that would be a waste time.)
Comment by fedup dem Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:08 am
Top 5 answers are on the board. Survey says…
Comment by BW Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:09 am
And, . . . that’s me climbing the beanstalk to defeat the Jolly Green Giant.
Comment by Reasonable Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:10 am
As you can see by this graph by November 1st TV commercials will consist of me taking shots at Alexi, third parties taking shots at Alexi, Alexi taking shots at me, third parties taking shots at me and that weird ED drug ad with where the background is all aqua-marine and some idiot ‘knows the score’ because he uses bottled water on his overheating radiator…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:12 am
And there it is, up in the sky, all the pie anyone can ever want. That folks is my promise to you, just as soon as I get back from my clandestine mission over Iran.
Comment by Justice Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:13 am
And right up there on the mountain that is where God told me “Congressman, you need to run for Senate.”
Comment by frustrated GOP Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:14 am
OK, everyone, if you just gaze at the spinning wheel up there, all will become clear to you. You will gain perfect knowledge. OK, now, repeat after me, “I will vote for Kirk, I will vote for Kirk, I will vote for Kirk…..”
Comment by dupage dan Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:14 am
Things are looking up for Congressman Mark Kirk. Here he shows how that looks in person.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:17 am
“And now I’d like you to see this endorsement video that I just got from Lee Abrams…
Uh oh… that’s the wrong one.”
Comment by John Bambenek Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:18 am
…..Yes,yes thank you… I know just where I will place these. (refering to the two shrunken heads, of Democrats, just presented to the congressman by an sweet grandmotherly-type Teapartier)
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:18 am
Now, having already discussed my distinguished military record and vast experience working as an educator, I’d like to show you this photo of me leaping tall buildings in a single bound!
Comment by PlainlySpoken Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:22 am
As an intelligence officer I flew missions over Iraq, Kosovo, and even right there.
Comment by DGD Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:31 am
This is a picture of me laying down the guitar and vocals for the new, “Dold with a D, not an E” ad.
Comment by Mayor Quimby Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:32 am
“I am doing this for him, for that guy up there on the cross - Jesus Christ. He told me that I was to be your Senator and that a man with a girlie name was the anti-Christ. You know you have to listen to Jesus Christ.”
Comment by ugh Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:40 am
And, if you look really close, that is my integrity floating away …
Comment by Boomer Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:42 am
Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive,
aye, aye, aye, I’m
stayin’ aliiiivveeee.
At least according to about half of the polls.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:42 am
This is where I made the journey from their half-mile-deep shaft, as you know I saved all the miners.
Comment by VoterUSA Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:44 am
No use even trying to top the other entries at this point. I vote for Wordslinger. Well played sir, well played.
It is especially hard to get motivated to beat that when you consistently fail to recognize me for the comical genius that I am, I was all over that one yesterday. Phooey.
Comment by Siriusly Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:46 am
If you look here you can see my new campaign ad, Some people say that I have a low attention span
Look SHINY THINGS
Comment by I'm Just Saying Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:52 am
These graphs compare my exaggerations of my record with Alexi’s obfuscations of his. The data has been normalized using the John Lovitz that’s-the-ticket method. In addition, a pandering-to-the-base factor has been included as have red-running-in-blue-state and blue-running-in-red-year factors to each candidate as appropriate.
You can clearly see that while, overall, the results of both candidates are rather high, my opponent’s results are depicted in a menacing way that should cause you to fear him and vote for me.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:54 am
Im cuckoo for coco pups
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:54 am
“I was way up there in the air when they were shooting at me over Kosovo. Or was that Afghanastan? Who can keep track. It has been a long campaign.”
Comment by Flying above Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:54 am
Glenn Beck listens on in the front as Congressman Kirk attempts to use Beck’s chalk board to bring in the conservative base.
Comment by Glenn Beck Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 9:57 am
“And this is a picture of the plane I was in when I was shot down over Iraq.”
Comment by McHenry Mike Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:00 am
Kirk unveils bronze statute of himself as half-human, half-prudently-spending-bird-of-prey, valiantly tweeting while taking enemy fire in WWI.
Comment by MSM H8R Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:00 am
Way up there on the blackboard is the one thing I told the truth about, but everything underneath that is bull****.
Comment by The Captain Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:00 am
And here you see a picture of me with Jesus. Who also says I am an Independent.
Comment by MightAsWell Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:02 am
The second bar shows where my truthiness level will be after I win the election.
Comment by Bluefish Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:02 am
“See, just look at this picture of him. I don’t look anything like Will Ferrell doing his George W. Bush impersonation.”
Comment by Old Shepherd Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:12 am
People often ask about my youth, and so I like to start with a a photo of myself in the manger in Bethlehem. You will notice that several wise men had come to seek my counsel…even at that young age I was reading at a 6th grade level according to the standardized testing of the day. However what this photo does not show is the band of Hittites that I fended off by throwing Frankincense and Mur in their eyes and then using a nearby Bo Staff to finish the job…..
Comment by Living in Oklahoma Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:16 am
And right there is when I was awarded the World Series MVP for the Cubs
Comment by rawrddd Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:19 am
Hey God, thanks for the endorsement. Right back at’cha, Big Guy! That’s right.
Comment by NameWithheld Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:20 am
There I am flying over Iraq being chased by one of Alexi’s Russian mobsters flying a MiG.
Comment by Windy City Watch Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:24 am
Not a caption: I wonder if all the sacrilegious postings here are the reason for the thunder and lightning that have sprung up outside my window. Just to be clear, I employed Neil and Buzz, not you-know-who….
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:26 am
And if I just reach out my finger a bit more, as you can see, I will touch the hand of god.
Comment by Really?? Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:29 am
“See, God has appeared before you today to vouch for my truthfulness and endorse my vision as what’s best for mankind!”
Followed by an immediate bolt of lightening and the end of Mr. Kirk.
Comment by What's in a name? Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:30 am
Hey Mark Kirk teach me how to duggie!
Comment by We Todd Did Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:31 am
And here is a picture of me flying over Iraq being shot at.
Comment by Wumpus Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:33 am
And here come the Democrats flying in all those extra voters who may not be properly registered.
Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:34 am
And because of my fiscally conservative votes, the salaries of Congressman went in this direction!
Comment by Skeeter Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:38 am
“I have a graph here from the Congressional Budget Office that explains everything that I don’t really want to talk about.”
Comment by view from the cheap seats Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:39 am
And of course that chart in front of him documents his salary after each of those six votes.
Comment by Skeeter Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:41 am
A reference to the Meet the Press debate from Sunday…
“And up here, you can see more of my Ross Perot charts and graphs…”
Comment by Chathamite Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:44 am
Now, this is where my poll numbers would be if I hadn’t destroyed my own credibility.
Comment by Whatever Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:47 am
It’s the 5th inning of the 3rd game and Charlie Root is pitching. Well the Cubs have been trash talking me all day and Charlie’s got me at 2-2 so I point at the wall in center field, like this, and Charlie hangs a curve ball that I blast 440 feet…
Comment by Spiney Norman Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:49 am
See, that’s me, bringing out the first miner.
Comment by just sayin' Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:51 am
So I said to Ditka, “why don’t you put Fridge in the backfield?” and he looked at me like I was crazy. Well, I guess I’m crazy like a fox, because two weeks later against the Packers, who lines up in in the backfield in front of Walter? Watch the clip…
Now I can’t take all the credit for the Superbowl, but Buddy Ryan told me years later that, if I had been on the sidelines in New Orleans, the players would have carried me off the field too. Still get a nice fruit basket from Perry each year, right around the end of January.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 10:56 am
And as you can see here, this is me getting fired upon by Nazis. I earned the purple heart.
Comment by Ahoy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:06 am
I assure you folks, nothing is bigger than my own self image. Its that big.
Comment by Small Town Liberal Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:15 am
There I am inventing the wheel and the Metric system at the same time.
Comment by Davey Boy Smithe Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:25 am
Uh-oh. You see that? That’s the Bat Signal. I gotta go.
Comment by Really?? Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:27 am
“I answer to a higher authority.”
Comment by Squideshi Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:28 am
Oh, yeah, I served in Iraq with that guy, too. You should have seen the enemy fire coming in. I luckily had my Sunfish rigged and ready to go. We jumped on the sailboat just as a big gale hit us on the Starboard side. Once capsized, I remembered JFK’s PT 109 days and swam my friend and the Sunfish to safety. Anyway …
Comment by NW Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:36 am
“You see, when you go up north to talk to people in MY district, they don’t care about unemployment and want the government to keep its hands off of our health care!”, Kirk said to a room full of unemployed tea party activists who are also Medicare recipients.
Comment by cook county voter Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:39 am
Hermie the elf points up to a photo of the Abominable Snowman, with a chart explaining the details of how he took him down.
(watching Meet the Press I realized that Kirk sounds just like
Hermie!)
Comment by Amalia Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:40 am
Actor Tim Allen points to his rebuilt Chevy Camaro and grunts, grunts made famous in his TV show Home Improvement …
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:44 am
“Yes, I’ve been to the mountain top…and I might not get there with you…”
Comment by D.P. Gumby Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:45 am
Mark Kirk banters with the band before singing a catchy show tune.
Comment by just sayin' Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 11:46 am
(slide showing picture of Kirk in dress uniform)
And that little shiny medal is for the Iraq missions I miss-remembered. the next one is from the pentagon war room I ran that I miss-remembered. and the next one for for something I just made up and sent the paperwork in for….
Comment by todd Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:04 pm
Look….Up in the sky….MY war record is flying over.
Comment by sal-says Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:12 pm
See that mark up there, that’s how tall I am.
Comment by (618)662 Dem Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:14 pm
Oh, oh, now… don’t jump, Debbie, come on, it’s not that bad…
Comment by Mickey T Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:24 pm
Mark Kirk regales a crowd with more stories from his years in the military. “And, and when I was at Pearl Harbor, the planes and bombs were coming at me from every which way. Weeeeeeeeeoooooooooo BOOM!! But I wasn’t scared.”
Comment by a.l.byrd Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:38 pm
KIRK “So, you see…if you pause ‘Good Fellas’ right before Joe Pesci stabs that guy with his pen you can CLEARLY see Alexi dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s” on that mob guy’s mortgage loan.”
Comment by Gunner the Runner Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:39 pm
It’s ELECTRIC! Boogie woogie woogie.
Comment by HR Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 12:54 pm
Mark Kirk addresses the crowd … “And if you look at the website ‘thecapitolfaxblog.com’ that I created, you’ll see where I posted some comments on the latest caption contest. And won!”
Comment by ShadyBillBrady Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:01 pm
Gunner, I believe that particular act of violence was in “Casino,” a very under-appreciated Scorsese flick about the era when the Chicago Outfit ran Vegas, with Pesci as Tony Spilotro and and DeNiro as Lefty Rosenthal (under different names).
Pileggi’s book, to which the movie is very faithful, is outstanding.
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:03 pm
@wordlinger - i knew it was either Casino or Good Fellas so i thought i had a 50/50 shot. thanks for pointing me straight though! haha
Comment by Gunner the Runner Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:07 pm
Here you see the Most Interesting Man in the World explaining that he doesn’t drink beer often but when he does he prefers Dos Equis.
Comment by CM Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:16 pm
“So that’s where the brain is located. Interesting…”
Comment by K Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:25 pm
“So I take that foot and just put it in my mouth??”
Comment by K Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:32 pm
And poof it’s gone
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:33 pm
Congressman Kirk explains to fellow root beer fans the joys of the Root Beer Royalty fellows which can be found at rootbeerroyalty.com
Comment by RootBeerRoyalty Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:38 pm
Sen. Kirk is pointing out a doofus who is trying to get a little free publicity plug for their lame-o website.
Comment by Jake from Elwood Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:50 pm
I can not tell a lie. I can not recall I was if this picture of me as the military Guy from the village people was from Halloween 1991 or 1992. Oh wait, I did not take this picture. That is not me, oh well yes it is, oh no its not. I can not remember
Comment by icare Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 1:54 pm
“Now if you’ll look up here you’ll see action scenes of famous Viking QB Brett Favre…OH MY GOD!”
Comment by Mongo Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 2:04 pm
My head will be carved either just to the right of Lincoln or in that space between Lincoln & Roosevelt.
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 2:08 pm
wordslinger with honorable mention to Oswego Willy. Funny stuff right there.
Comment by Birdseed Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 2:19 pm
Here is a photo taken of my opponent and “Jaws” entering an ocean front hotel in Miami. Speaking of Jaws, if you look closely at the water in the background you will see me wrestling a tiger shark…with my own bare hands!!!
Comment by Bakersfield Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 2:51 pm
Amway salesman Mark Kirk points to the pyramid chart and explains to the audience how they too can triple their investment.
Comment by Who Cares Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 3:00 pm
“Oh, that’s why they are falling asleep. It is my latest commercial. Damn staff keeps screwing things up.”
Comment by Aaron Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 3:24 pm
If you flip the quadratic inversion coefficient by the regression variable it proves that Einstein was wrong about time travel. I’ve been there.
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 3:32 pm
and that is why the Bowl Championship Series is the best playoff system ever devised.
Comment by Living in Oklahoma Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 3:52 pm
Okie, LOL, your friends in Norman won’t be saying that if the Sooners lose one game with their murderous schedule and undefeated Boise State with their cupcake schedule goes to the national championship.
But I don’t think the Sooners are going to lose a game this year. You heard it here first.
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 4:06 pm
If you look real close, you can see the image of Abraham Lincoln in the paint swirls on the ceiling, he’s begging me to save Illinois from the evils of Socialism.
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 4:07 pm
Birdseed and fka anon … thanks
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 5:12 pm
You see right there folks, thats me that little dot, I was in the 4th plane from the right. Look real close. Yep thats me riding in the C140 and you see this thing here, that looks like a rocket. Yep thats enemy fire right there. Not for sure which plane it was targeting, but it could have beeen mine. yes sir…see I am telling the truth…
Comment by dumb ol' country boy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:27 pm
Okay folks if you would look as this chart on my right, your left, it represents how many times Alexi Giannoulias have been caught telling lies in this campaign. Now if you look at the other end of the chart, my left your right, this represents how many times I have told some little fibs during this campaign. So you see I’m not as big as aliar as Alexi Giannoulias.
Comment by dumb ol' country boy Wednesday, Oct 13, 10 @ 8:36 pm
and this is how I used the “force” to raise the Chilean miners out of the hole.
Comment by ChuckT Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 10:07 am