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Election day caption contest!

Posted in:

* This man could very well be our next governor…

posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:30 am

Comments

  1. “We’re also out of coffee”

    Comment by The Captain Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:32 am

  2. You’re fired!

    Comment by A.B. Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:38 am

  3. “Looks like we won. Now, I’m going to tell you what I REALLY plan to do…”

    Comment by wordslinger Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:55 am

  4. “I am the Champion, my Friends … and I’ll keep on fighting, till the end!”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:58 am

  5. Read my lips –NO, NEW, TAXES!

    Comment by Murfe82 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:59 am

  6. Better hope your not dependant on state services, the rich get taken care of first.

    Comment by Foster Brooks Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:05 am

  7. Look, now I’m a double-barreled finger pointer!

    Comment by unspun Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:06 am

  8. Last one out, be sure to turn off the lights.

    Comment by anon Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:06 am

  9. “Don’t cry for me, G.O.P.!”

    “For the last time, gassing the dogs IS humane!”

    “I did NOT choose Jason Plummer!!!”

    “We’re going inside of ‘em, we’re going outside of ‘em — inside of ‘em! outside of ‘em! — and when we get them on the run once, we’re going to keep ‘em on the run. And we’re not going to pass unless their secondary comes up too close. But don’t forget, men — we’re gonna get ‘em on the run, we’re gonna go, go, go, go! — and we aren’t going to stop until we go over that goal line! And don’t forget, men — today is the day we’re gonna win. They can’t lick us — and that’s how it goes… The first platoon men — go in there and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! What do you say, men!”

    “Yatzee!”

    “These two fingers are loaded and registered weapons!”

    “All right, all right, whose the dirty rat that killed my brotha!”

    “Where’s your Moses NOOOWWWWW!”

    “You’ll see, the Great Pumpkin swoops down and gives candy to all the good boys and girls … you’ll see!”

    “Leave your ballot, take a sticker and a cannoli!”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:09 am

  10. Fire up the gas chambers, I’m going to win by this much!

    Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:11 am

  11. The State is Illinois is now another one BILLION in the RED. This was caused by former Gov Quinn’s construction projects announcements this last few weeks.

    Comment by Bob Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:32 am

  12. “See, I had all my teeth removed so that I could insert both feet more easily.”

    Comment by 32nd Ward Roscoe Village Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:39 am

  13. Blago appointees; the door is over there. Do not let it hit you in the ass on your way out.

    Comment by Quinn T. Sential Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:42 am

  14. “Let me make this perfectly clear…I am not a crook.”

    Comment by waitress practicing politics... Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:43 am

  15. What do you mean we are out of chips?!?!?!?!

    Comment by No i am not drunk Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:45 am

  16. or to Quote from Beavis and Butthead the movie–
    Are you threatening me?

    Comment by waitress practicing politics... Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:45 am

  17. It’s this long. My attention span is…wait…what was I talking
    About again?

    Comment by Anon Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:48 am

  18. When I get concealed carry passed in Illinois, I’m gonna wear a holster and carry two, count ‘em, two guns.

    Comment by Aldyth Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:50 am

  19. “Want me to do it again … ok … wait … ok, this is Jason Plummer freezing up on Chicago Tonight …. (pause) … there ya go!”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 7:51 am

  20. Mike Madigan sneaks up behind Brady and whispers “Boo! I’m still Speaker.”

    Comment by anon sequitor Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:00 am

  21. Born of humble beginnings, Madame encountered puppeteer Wayland Flowers on a bus ride in New York in the mid-sixties. Immediately smitten with Madame’s beauty and bawdy sense of humor, Flowers recognized her untapped talent and presented the idea of the two of them working together as a comedy team. http://www.madameandme.com/tour/Madame_QVegas_R3.pdf

    Comment by Going too Far? Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:00 am

  22. It was fixed I tell ya..They told me Quinn couldn’t win..

    Comment by Bill Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:08 am

  23. Run Toto Run

    Comment by Rod sez I'm pork Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:12 am

  24. The squirrel had a tail that long. Ask Pat. If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’.

    Comment by dznuts Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:20 am

  25. GBB: “See, I don’t really shoot straight from the hips like the media claims…..instead, I really shoot straight from the pit. For that matter, I am not really a straight shooter, rather I shoot at a 45 degree angle in hopes that I can humanely kill kitties who are stuck up in trees.”

    Comment by cuban pilot Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:27 am

  26. Seriously, it’s about this big.

    Comment by Matt Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:28 am

  27. “Try to prove that I said I would balance the budget in one year!”

    Comment by Vole Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:31 am

  28. “Who let the dogs out?”

    Comment by polisciguy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:32 am

  29. Governor-elect BB on explaining his secret plan to fix the state’s budget crises:

    GEBB: “It is all pretty simple really, now that I am governor, I have magical powers where I can use these fingers to perform powerful magic tricks like that Harry Potter kid. So, with these fingers, I will cast the spell to magically fix the books. So, here goes,

    abracabra, cheech and chong, let me live in bloomington….(poof)……..

    uh-oh, I think I used the spell that instantly kills all puppies…Oh well, I guess i have some work to do before I am sworn in on election day.”

    Comment by cuban pilot Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:35 am

  30. My first act as governor is to fire the three Blago appointees who have not found cover in a union.

    Comment by Vote Quimby! Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:37 am

  31. “Let me describe the legendary Brady family business motto - you can tell when we are not telling the truth - because that is when our lips are moving. Oh, and another thing, my running-mates taxes will be made available afterall at 6:59 p.m. November 2, 2010.”

    Comment by washedmyhands Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:37 am

  32. Please wash your fingers before returning to work or lighting that cigar

    Comment by CircularFiringSquad Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:41 am

  33. ” I told you I’d do it! Grrrrrr” - Clubber Lang

    Comment by NWAvouyer Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:42 am

  34. On second thought let Jason figure it out.

    Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:45 am

  35. “Lemme tell ya, I smelled a rat, and then out of the corner of my eye, saw something with a tail at least this long”…”I am really suspicious about those absentee ballot votes out of Cook County”…

    Comment by Loop Lady Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am

  36. “Alright, listen up, people. Our fugitive has been on the run for 3 years. Average foot speed over uneven ground barring injuries is 4 miles-per-hour. That gives us a radius of six miles around his house every morning. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive’s name is Rod R. Blagojevich. Go get him.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am

  37. Muahahahahaaaaaa,

    ILLINOIS Tremble!!!

    Comment by ah HA Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:46 am

  38. I demand a recount!

    Comment by neveroddoreven Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:47 am

  39. Separated at Birth: Bill Brady and Charlie McCarthy. Brady is missing the tux and monocle. Who is pulling Brady’s strings?

    Comment by Jake from Elwood Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:55 am

  40. Blue microphone to the other microphones: You’re crazy. No way am I getting any closer to those pincers of death.

    Comment by Way South of the Border Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:56 am

  41. Loud Noises!

    Comment by JBilla Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 8:58 am

  42. And thus began Lisa Madigan’s inevitable march to the governor’s mansion in 2014.

    – MrJM

    Comment by MrJM Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:01 am

  43. “I love Lamp”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:01 am

  44. FIRE BAD!

    Comment by Ron Burgundy Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:02 am

  45. “I know! I can’t believe I won either!”

    Comment by Thoughts... Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:05 am

  46. Here’s my Jason Plummer impression, “UMMMMMMMMM!”

    Comment by Highland, IL Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:05 am

  47. This ladies and gentleman is not acceptable…….where are those puppies at?

    Comment by JCIII Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:11 am

  48. “My Howard Dean Impression? Ok here goes….YEEEHAAW”

    Comment by The Spin Stops Where? Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:15 am

  49. BOOOOYYYAHH!

    Comment by Bring Back Boone's Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:16 am

  50. if

    Comment by Five Head Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:16 am

  51. If Sarah can do it I thought why not give it a try.

    Comment by Five Head Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:18 am

  52. Told Ya! Told Ya! Told Ya!

    Comment by zatoichi Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:19 am

  53. Three points for getting the paper football through the goalposts. Two extra points for getting it in his mouth.

    Comment by Bluefish Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:21 am

  54. I feel now is the time to tell you all, I have no idea what I’m doing.

    Comment by Really?? Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:23 am

  55. Governor Brady singss “Five Dollar Foot longs” to raise money for Illinois budget.

    Comment by Madame Defarge Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:24 am

  56. You haven’t seen crazy yet!!

    Comment by just sayin' Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:28 am

  57. I blasted Quinn in the debate with my trusty 6-shooter.

    Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:29 am

  58. I formally announce my campaign 2014 campaign for Governor of Illinois. I pledge to cut 10.125% of state spending, across the board after a full forensic audit! What? I won? Never mind!

    Comment by WRMNpolitics Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:30 am

  59. Winner so far:

    Ron Burgundy - FIRE BAD!

    Excellent SNL reference. Well done.

    Comment by just sayin' Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:30 am

  60. Kirk come back! I need the answers. You can’t leave me like this.

    Comment by babs Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:32 am

  61. “Who’s your daddy, Pat?”

    Comment by Cincinnatus Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:34 am

  62. Kirk Dillard not Mark Kirk - hate it when I have to go back and explain!

    Comment by babs Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:36 am

  63. …and a one, and a two and a three…oh, wait, I did say ten percent, didn’t I?

    Comment by Deep South Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:36 am

  64. We’re going to win Chicago. And Carbondale. And then we’re going to win Bolingbrook and Bloomington. Then on to taking Indiana, Missouri and Tennessee. Yeawwwww!

    Comment by ShadyBillBrady Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:49 am

  65. “Read my lips –NO, NEW, TAXES!”

    You beat me to it. :(

    Comment by Levois Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:55 am

  66. All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME! DESTINY! DESTINY! NO ESCAPING THAT FOR ME!

    Comment by Way Way Down Here Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:56 am

  67. Healthcare, schmealthcare. What people really want is dental care and I promise free dentures for all Illinoisans, just like mine.

    Comment by Joe from Joliet Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:57 am

  68. “Bang! Bang!”

    Comment by not applicable Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:58 am

  69. GOVERNOR

    Comment by Truth Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 9:59 am

  70. “From this point on, I promise to run a positive only campaign. Kumbaya my lord, kumbaya…”

    Comment by ANON Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:10 am

  71. Wook, I puwwed out my fawse teef. I don’t need to hiwe Paww Wis. Take Dat Wich Miwwewr.

    (Puts teeth back in) What do you mean I don’t get the point? I keep hearing that along with some bs about me sitting on a back bench in the Senate. That is not true. I always sat in a chair and sat up straight!

    Comment by dc Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:16 am

  72. Springfield, May 15 2012: Bill Brady (pictured) became the first Illinois governor recalled by voters under a new provision in the state constitution which he ironically supported while in the state Senate.

    Comment by DuPage Dave Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:17 am

  73. Bill Brady freezes when told Michael Madigan actually runs the state.

    Comment by Highland, IL Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:18 am

  74. Screaming from the top of his lungs, Brady says: VOTE FOR ME OR THE PUPPY GETS IT!!!

    Comment by Rahm's Parking Meter Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:20 am

  75. “KHAAAAAN!!!!!!”

    Comment by Heartless Libertarian Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:21 am

  76. “I dare you, I double-dare you, to prove I ever said, I will balance the state budget without ever raising taxes!”

    Comment by Statewide Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:23 am

  77. Bluefish wins.

    Comment by soccermom Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:24 am

  78. “When I opened the book in my library, I saw that it was this wide.”

    Comment by Louis XVI Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:24 am

  79. “Now I can tell you folks how much I LOVE lady Gaga! I will now sing…”

    Comment by Newsclown Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:44 am

  80. If you get an abortion FOR ANY REASON IN MY STATE, you can run but you cannot hide!

    Comment by (618) Democrat Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:44 am

  81. Without any new taxes I can still make the deficit only “this big”.

    Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:45 am

  82. I commit to you that I will now start to try to find some people who can be an advisory committee so that I can begin to consider to think about what can possibly be done about various options about this fiscal budget situation thing that I’ve been hearing so much about so that we can perhaps get an auditor and begin making some sense of the finances and look for ways to improve things. Hopefully.

    Comment by Monstrum Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:52 am

  83. ‘Not only will I fire all of the Blago-era clout hires, I will ceremoniously prod each of them out the door with a brisk kancho!’

    Comment by Returning Dog Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:53 am

  84. What do you mean the state capitol isn’t Frankfort?

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:57 am

  85. I just have one thing to say about this Bloomington ballroom tonight, the rent is too damn high!

    Comment by just sayin' Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:57 am

  86. I will require all married males to grow a beard and all married women to wear their bonnet straps behind their ears.

    No school after age 12.

    Church services are required and will be in Old German.

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:58 am

  87. “I once had a thought THIS big!”

    Comment by Assume the Crash Position Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:58 am

  88. The Governor-elect loses the Lewis Black impression contest when he refuses to do the whole-body spasm, for fear of mussing his perfectly-knotted tie.

    Comment by Muskrat Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 10:59 am

  89. my favorite line from one of my favorite movies….So now what do we do?

    Comment by Who Cares Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:28 am

  90. and pets don’t evolve either!!!

    Comment by dassah1 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:32 am

  91. As Governor I swear that if the puppies renounce their homosexual lifestyle, they will be spared. At least 10% of them.

    Comment by How Ironic Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:36 am

  92. And I promise now that I will live in the Governor’s Mansion in Bloomington.

    Comment by Park Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:56 am

  93. The pistachios will be this big when I do that…Collasal!

    Comment by one day at a time Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 11:58 am

  94. “Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!”

    Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 12:31 pm

  95. Pat Quinn and the Chicago Machine came “this close” to almost beating me.”

    Comment by Cool Hand Luke Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:06 pm

  96. If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I’m gonna club this baby seal. That’s right! I’m gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I’ll do it, too, cause I’m crazy.

    Comment by Mercutio_27 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:22 pm

  97. Alouetta jon te alouetta….. (spelling?)

    Comment by Macoupin Observer Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:22 pm

  98. You know that Robert Redford movie The Candidate? “Now what??”

    Comment by Really?? Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:26 pm

  99. I can’t believe they brought Krispy Kremes to my headquarters, Denny’s Donuts ONLY.

    Comment by Rayne of Terror Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:27 pm

  100. “Ok, now who’s got the plan for a tax-free budget?”

    – MrJM

    Comment by MrJM Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 1:47 pm

  101. Unpaid Bills - Unpaid Taxes - That and Tea Undid Me

    Comment by x ace Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:06 pm

  102. And then Quinn threw me the keys to the gov Mansion and said its a fixer upper just like the restvof the state.

    Comment by fed up Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:19 pm

  103. I am amazed by how juvenile this post is.
    Why encourage even more foolishness than Illinois already has?

    Comment by jim Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:36 pm

  104. Illinois Gubernatorial candidate Bill Brady pauses mid-speech while talking to area reporters after noticing a shiny object located across the room.

    Comment by Mercutio_27 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:39 pm

  105. Herb Getz promised me I’d be govenor. Obviously, he didn’t contribute enough.

    Comment by VoteNovember2 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:40 pm

  106. Bend over bureaucrats and social service providers, I have something this big for you in January.

    Comment by Hooters Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 2:48 pm

  107. @ Mercutio_27 14:39

    You have my vote for best caption. Still laughing here!

    Comment by (618) Democrat Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:53 pm

  108. @jim - lighten up. It’s just for fun and really no different than other caption contests that have happened in the past.

    Comment by Really?? Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 3:55 pm

  109. Guns up! Let’s do this! Leeeeerrrrrooooyyyy Jenkins!

    Comment by Full time gamer Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:01 pm

  110. ” All right, Quinn.. you called down the thunder, well now you’ve got it! The Dem’s are finished, you understand? So run, you cur… RUN! Tell all the other curs the law’s comin’! You tell ‘em I’M coming… and hell’s coming with me, you hear?…
    Hell’s coming with me!”

    Comment by Leatherneck318 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:03 pm

  111. @ Rayne of Terror… - it’s Spudo’s from Galesburg, for the donuts…

    Comment by Leatherneck318 Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:06 pm

  112. Steve walks warily down the street,
    With the brim pulled way down low ….

    Comment by LincolnLounger Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 4:42 pm

  113. I’m with 618, that was funny Mercutio. But lord help us.

    Comment by Way Way Down Here Tuesday, Nov 2, 10 @ 6:23 pm

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