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* Since it’s Governor’s Day at the Illinois State Fair, how about we do a caption contest of our top elected guy?…
Best commenter gets a beverage of his or her choice at a State Fair beer tent.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:22 am
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Previous Post: A little-known, but very powerful process
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These words are way to big for me. LMAO
Comment by Hotel Ibiza Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:27 am
Speaker, I swear it’s in here. The Governor runs the state, not the Speaker. I just can’t seem to find that in my blue book. Did you change it and I signed it?
Comment by One of Three Puppets Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:27 am
I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am
That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!
Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
Would you like them
here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?
I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like gren eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
i will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you,
in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you
with a goat?
I would not,
could not,
with a goat!
Would you, could you,
on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE
I do not like
green eggs
and ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat…
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:28 am
I will not eat them on a boat
I will not eat them with a goat
I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam I am
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:29 am
Oh one more…
Quinns “Christmas Card List”
Comment by Hotel Ibiza Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:29 am
Guess I should have hit “say it” faster.
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:30 am
It says right here in the book I had written for me that I am never wrong. Ever.
Comment by Realist Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:32 am
The questionss in this Rules of the Road book are really hard. Glad I’m not the Secretary of State.
Comment by Kerfuffle Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:35 am
My Boy Scout Handbook says right here, “Be Prepared.” But how was I supposed to prepare for AFSCME protesting my day at the fair?
Comment by Homer J. Simpson Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:37 am
During a press conference Quinn starts reading out of “An Idiot’s Guide to Being Governor.”
Comment by Ahoy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:41 am
Nothing in this book says I have to tell the voters the truth when I campaign.
Comment by Fed up Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:42 am
Darn, Ahoy took mine.
Comment by Norseman Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:47 am
Listen up Rahm………. It’s right here in Section 3, Paragraph 14…”The govenor shall make the final decision on all gaming bills in the State Of Illinois, Mayors shall butt out”
Comment by Hank Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:49 am
I’m pleased to announce a $1 billion economic development package for a new Super 8 hotel to be built on the State Fairgrounds in Springfield. It will create 4 permanent jobs, and will provide a tremendous boost to the local tourism economy by providing visitors to the State Fair a low cost place to stay.
The new Super 8 hotel will get listed in this amazing directory they distribute. I’ve had my copy for 35 years, and It lists every single Super 8 hotel in the world. I take it with me everywhere, along with my Super 8 discount card.
Just think of how many people will see this listing and want to visit Springfield and the State Fair. I only stay at Super 8s. I stayed in a Super 8 in Israel last month, and I’m staying in one in China next month. This package is great deal for the citizens of Illinois! Have you seen my Super 8 discount card?
I’m also announcing a special session of the General Assembly to approve funding for this economic development initiative. Unfortunately the $1 billion for hotel construction was vetoed from the budget, and I’m calling on the legislative to act quickly to restore the funding before Super 8 takes their project and the jobs to Madison Wisconsin. I was in Wisconsin recently, but didn’t stay overnight, so I wasn’t able to stay at a Super 8 there. I hate passing up a chance to use my Super 8 discount card. If we build this project then every member of the legislature will be able to get there own Super 8 discount card and their Super 8 directory just like this one.
Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:50 am
Michelle Flaherty….great minds think alike!
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:50 am
Rules? What Rules,
Comment by Just Because Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:51 am
This Illinois State Fair competion premium book is chock full of examples of wasteful spending. Are you telling me that hard working Illinois taxpayers are asked to give $1,918 to someone who can grow a gladiola? And there is nothing in here for the state champion shamrock? I like gladiolas but I like shamrocks too and basic fairness demands that shamrock farmers have a equal opportunity to succeed in this great State we all call Illinois.
Comment by Joe from Joliet Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:57 am
Quinn: Today I’m going to grace you with a reading of one of the greatest novels ever written: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Reporters: What the…
Quinn: Please. (Begins reading.)
“In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people of this world–”‘
Reporters: Governor!
Quinn: “But we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that.”
Thank you very much.
“In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores.”
Reporters: GOVERNOR! What about the casino bill?
Quinn: No, no. No, no. Please keep it down.
We’ve got a long way to go. (Resumes reading.)
“They were the same people, or at least the same sort of people…”
Comment by Boone Logan Square Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:57 am
Rahm, where in here does it say I am toast if I don’t sign the gaming bill?
Comment by Joe Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:58 am
Says right here in the Democratic holy book - “Thou shall not cut spending”.
Comment by Nuance Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:02 pm
Please turn in your hymnals to page 147. We’ll be singing a little something from one of my favorites, a little band from Illinois they call Head East.
Comment by just sayin' Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:05 pm
Pat Quinn and his dog eared copy of “Governing for Dummies.”
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:16 pm
“No, Ma’am. I’m looking at the State Fair Livestock Judging Rules right here, and you cannot enter ME in the Swine Competition.”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:17 pm
No, really. I’ll figure this Governor thing out soon; I’m near the last chapter.
Comment by sal-says Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:19 pm
Damn, this isn’t the owner’s manual.
Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:25 pm
Tell me again what soy beans are!
Comment by Huchu Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:26 pm
I swear I can not find any reference to a butter cow….
Comment by Tim Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:30 pm
Lou, where was that language that says “subject to appropriations”?
Comment by Rudy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:38 pm
At a stop off in Downers Grove on Wednesday on his way to Governor’s Day at the Fair, the Governor was asked to cite the provisions within state law which allows for forced annexation.
Despite recent protests, large swaths of unincorporated Downers Grove were swallowed-up by the village Tuesday night, after commissioners unanimously approved a large-scale forced annexation.
After the measure was approved, one man could be heard uttering the phrase “bite me” as he left the council chambers in disgust.
LOL
http://triblocal.com/downers-grove/2011/08/17/council-approves-forced-annexation-of-430-unincorporated-homes/
Comment by Quinn T. Sential Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:43 pm
You seem to be right. It does say I need to either sign it or veto. I can’t just leave it sit. But, but, but, I don’t want to have to take a position.
Comment by Skeeter Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:45 pm
“…in the Land of Lincoln where the will of the people is the law of the land.”
Comment by reformer Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:47 pm
In response to a question from a reporter, Governor Quinn pulls out the last remaining copy of “Illinois Government for Dummies” and explains that the chapters regarding balanced budgets and economic growth are missing. He blames Blago for tearing out the missing pages during a fit of rage after a budget .meeting with Speaker Madigan
Comment by Boondocks Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:48 pm
Governor Quinn: “They have this new thing called books, evidently you just read them.”
Comment by Ahoy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:51 pm
Uuuuuhhhh… Why am I here again?
Comment by Sarbanharble Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:51 pm
PQ: “I can’t answer your questions today because they gave me the wrong purple tie. I don’t have the correct tie on, so stop asking.”
Comment by unclesam Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:52 pm
“This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man’s number. His number is 666.”
Comment by The End Is Near Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:05 pm
It says right here on page 73, and I quote “J-O-B”
Comment by How Ironic Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:09 pm
The exact moment when Pat Quinn realized that Rod’s ‘Governor’ was not intended to be a governing guide.
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:15 pm
Somebody please ask Sheila to take her band practice to another room. And yes, tell her I’ll definitely be there tonight for her performance.
Comment by anon sequitor Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:17 pm
It turns out Governor Quinn found the Magna guide to gaming no more helpful.
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:17 pm
“It says here if I can make soup if I dip this tie I keep drooling on in hot water.”
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:21 pm
Quinn checks the urban slang dictionary for “soy boy”
Comment by Champaign Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:27 pm
I am not recommending this Aaron Jaffe biography for my book club.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:35 pm
“Mike swore to me this is the “Governor’s Rights and Responsibilities Manuel”. What do you mean it’s really a preschool student’s classroom rule book?”
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:37 pm
Jack Lavin told me to stand up here and look dumb reading this book while he sells the State of Illinois down the river. … Don’t forget to swallow Ryan.
Comment by The Truth Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:47 pm
While immersed in “The Prince” Quinn spots a kitty.
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:51 pm
Gentlemen, I am amendatorily vetoing the gambling bill to insert a provision to convert the Elgin Mental Health Center into the William J. Le Petomane memorial casino. This bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:00 pm
Here we are at the wonderful Illinois State Fair gathered together to join this Steer and this Filly in Holy Matrimony . . . . .
Comment by A Citizen Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:08 pm
Let me read you a quote for my favorite collection of poems: “The Land of Fairy’s and Elves”…..
Comment by annon Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:10 pm
As soon as I get home, I’m going to take that gambling bill out of my refrigerator and study it. There was room in my refrigerator because . . . .
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:22 pm
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH.! And that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so!’
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:28 pm
I’d rather read this than deal with the budget!
Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:35 pm
Pat Quinn responds to a reporter’s question about all of the mindless rambling in his new book.
Comment by Waco Kid Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:38 pm
I’m so glad I stuck a sticky note in here. Otherwise I would have forgotten to say “Land of Lincoln” at the end of each paragraph.
Comment by Bring Back Boone's Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:38 pm
I can’t believe I paid Amazon a penny for this!
Comment by Curious Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:43 pm
it’s a flip flop for dummies handbook
Comment by jt Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:50 pm
When asked what he was doing Governor Quinn replied…
Reading , reading a book an mighty book that contains important knowledge, knowledge about what makes the world great, it contains both the printed word as well as pictures, fine pictures, color pictures, of kitties…
Look there is a kitty right now….
Wait where was I, oh yeah it uses soy inks from this fine and mighty state, soy inks from soy, raised by farmers here in Illinois some whom may be here at this fine event showing cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, bears, sloths and kitties.
Look another picture of a kitty…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:52 pm
“You mean I’m not supposed to eat the pages? What about the covers?”
“It says right here on Page 77….”Rahm needs to do his homework on casinos…”
“Not to worry. I’m just passing through. But since you are all here, I’d be more than happy to stop and say a few words…”
Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:56 pm
“Frequently quoting from his dog-eared copy of the best-seller, Governor Quinn explained why he was on Team Edward”
Comment by 10th Indy Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:03 pm
It says here gambling is bad. Casinos must be bad.
Comment by North of I-80 Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:17 pm
In his remarks to the general assembly Governor Quinn compares Illinois businesses to a book he’s read called ‘The Puppy Who Lost It’s Way’. In response Speaker Madigan states “Governor, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
Comment by WazUp Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:21 pm
here is my dog-eared copy of the book “The Governor” by Rod Blagojevich. It tells me in here exactly what I am supposed to do.
Comment by BIG R. Ph Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:27 pm
Governor Quinn reads from his favorite ‘Choose Your Adventure’ novel: “The Power (Capitol) Dome”.
Comment by TaterPatch Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:27 pm
This is the Rule Book that Rep. Doug Kane (now living in Wisconsin and married to a Democratic Party State Senator) threw at Mike Madigan right before Taylor Pouncey and Jimmy Taylor carried him to safety off the podium at the end of the session.
Comment by Cal Skinner Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:48 pm
Governor Quinn tells everyone about his new favorite book Interface
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interface_(novel)
Interface is a near-future thriller, set in 1996, in which a shadowy coalition bent on controlling the world economy attempts to manipulate a candidate for president (a governor of Illinois) of the United States through the use of a computer bio-chip implanted in his brain.
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:50 pm
According to MY state fair book, every day is governor’s day.
Comment by Deep South Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:10 pm
Would someone show me the page in this playbook where I swoop in to make the big catch to win the game?
Comment by Prognosis Negative Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:11 pm
I’ve got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere, and here’s a guy that says that if the weathers’ clear, can do…can do…this guy says the horse can do. If he says the horse can do…can do…can do.
Comment by Bigtwich Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:17 pm
“Genesis…in the beginning…”
Comment by Anon Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:18 pm
“Kelly says the Blue Book value of a state in this condition is thirty five-hundred dollars — and I’m not going to accept a penny less for this trade-in!”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:27 pm
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.” Settle down, now settle down. This is a long book, and we have a very long way to go. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had…”
Comment by Andy K. Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:36 pm
Why is everybody asking what Rod’s sentence is going to be? He’s already filled this book with them. Can’t those people read?
Comment by aufjunk Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:41 pm
“With God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly!”
Comment by Damfunny Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:44 pm
“Paragraph 3, Harold Washington did not say I was the biggest mistake of his career.” Quoting from “Pat Quinn: My World; My Words.”
Comment by Fat Pitzgerald Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 5:26 pm
OH this is the U.S. Constitution…. the 2nd Amendmant says “”"”"” OMG I’m wrong !!!!
Comment by railrat Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 5:56 pm
Oh crap, this is Blagojevich playbook, not Edgar and Thompson’s, no wonder I can’t fix anything!
Comment by Mr. McDuty Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 6:26 pm
Cal Skinner should win something for “best historical reference” even if some of these other captions might be a bit cuter. Well done, even if the event took place before some of today’s posters were born.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 7:29 pm
It says here the winner is Bubba Smith.
Comment by Pat Robertson Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 8:47 pm
What’s a Hobbit?
Comment by Ouch! Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 9:21 pm
So….THAT’S what the AFSCME Master
Agreement looks like. Darn, no pictures!!
Comment by Gallery Walker Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 9:29 pm
I am studying the afscme contract to how else I can mess with the union members
Comment by Bill Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 10:08 pm
Sorry, The Law says that we can’t give the Cubs and Chicago to France.
Comment by Old Guard Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:00 pm
I am going to sit on that gaming bill long enough to have all the boat deposits tons of cash in my account - eventually, I’ll prove to everyone that I really am worthless - as the gaming bill will pass anyway - with or without me signing! Does Illinois need money? I was too busy trying to spend billions more.
Comment by Quinn Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 6:28 am
I was reading the book - How a governor can turn Chicago into Detroit in only one term!
Comment by Quinn Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 6:30 am
I am taking names and they are all going to be written in my little brown book. So you better watch what you say, Mike! I happen to be “The Boss”, not you. Not Cullerton and not Lisa, either. Period. End of story.
Comment by Wilson Pickett Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 7:46 am
According to Enron’s Guide to Retirement Funds, there is no reason we have to pay that money back. Unfortunately, it doesn’t say anything in here about avoiding jail time.
Comment by Get real.. Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 8:30 am