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* You may have seen this story…
Wayne Sabaj was cooking a pork shoulder on his grill Monday when he decided to pick some broccoli from his garden in the far northwestern suburbs. There, next to the red bell peppers and beneath the pole beans, the unemployed carpenter found more than just vegetables — a bag of money containing thousands of dollars.
McHenry County sheriff’s police came out and found another bag. Together, the bags contained $150,000, officials said.
“I’m unemployed and have no money. I lost my house a few years ago when I ran out of work,” Sabaj said.
At first, “I was worried about who would come back for it and figured I couldn’t keep it. . . . Now I’m hoping no one claims it and I get it back.”
* The Question: What do you think Gov. Pat Quinn and each of the four legislative leaders would do if they found a bag of money in their back yards?
Snark is heavily encouraged, of course.
posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:10 pm
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Pat Quinn would put it in his old US Senate campaign committee account.
Comment by Cassiopeia Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:16 pm
Quinn would create a blue ribbon commission, consisting of 25 members paid $50K each, to determine how to spend the $150K he found in his compost pile.
Cullerton:
Comment by tada Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:16 pm
Quinn would go to the Hammond riverboat and double down. No sense letting Illinois reap any benefits from it.
Comment by Been There Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:24 pm
Hopefully they would buy some pork shoulder, some broccoli, red bell peppers and pole beans and invite us over for lunch. Who’s hungry?
Comment by The Captain Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:27 pm
Quinn would wonder how he could get some of the seeds that grew those bags of money and then use it to fund the ROE’s.
The 4 legislative leaders would call a special session to redo the state budget.
Comment by Kerfuffle Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:30 pm
I’m reminded of an episode of Looney Toons, where upon finding a giant pearl, Daffy Duck closes himself up in the oyster shell, claiming, “It’s mine, all mine. I’m a happy wealthy miser …”
Comment by transplant Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:32 pm
Quinn: “I better call the cops and let them know…but first, I’ll call the media so they can get some video of me handing it over…God I love transparancy!”
Madigan: “Oh, I didn’t realized I dropped my wallet…. Hey!…feels a little light”
Radogno: “huh? whait a second, what’s going on again…I’m confused? Hey Cross, whats our position here?
Cross: “See, money doesn’t grow on trees, it grows in bags. We didn’t need that tax increase afterall”
Cullerton: “Hey Mike! you dropped your wallet…. no, everything’s there…I didn’t touch anything, I swear…but you better better ask Rahm.
Comment by anon Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:32 pm
The Governor could hire four more part-time secretaries for the Liquor Commission.
The leaders I don’t know. Do they have back yards?
Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:34 pm
Madigan would put the bags back in the garage where they belong.
Cross and Radogno would never find them because their gardeners would have taken care of thebags already.
Quinn would leave them right where they are and hope they grow some more.
Comment by Draznnl Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:35 pm
Patrick Fitzgerald would immediately open an federal investigation of all five of them for theft of honest gardening and would place bugs on the vegetables. Operation Money Bags
Comment by D.P. Gumby Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:39 pm
Mike Madigan has renamed the lackey who dropped his bags in McHenry County Fredo.
Comment by Boone Logan Square Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 1:53 pm
Quinn: “We need to check to see if there is any ….”
Madigan: “Listen up. You each get 25 thou each and we are done.”
Radogno: “I get 25? Cool!
Cross: “Say What?”
Cullerton: “Put in an envelope.”
Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:05 pm
Quinn and the four legislative leaders would turn it over to the cops for a thorough investigation.
Emanuel would separate the cash into a half dozen bags, have each bag “discovered” a week or so apart, and put the property on the market after the second “finding” at seven to ten times the value of comparable lots.
Comment by Ratliffe Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:08 pm
Quinn would walk across Illinois in a quest to find the original owner.
Cullerton would hand deliver the money to Planned Parenthood and flip off the protesters standing outside.
Madigan would run the numbers and divvy up the money among his members seeking reelection according to the odds of them winning.
Cross would get together with Pat Brady and spend the money on a giant inflatable pig to place outside the capitol during the veto session. Sadly the pig wouldn’t actually inflate and they’d be left wondering how they manage to keep wasting their time and money.
Radogno wouldn’t actually do anything with the money but she’d hold a lot of press conferences about it anyway.
Comment by Small Town Liberal Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:15 pm
Quinn would upgrade to Holiday Inn Express.
Comment by Casual observer Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:16 pm
Quinn would ask Rahm where to spend it and then get mad when Rahm answered him with specific uses.
Madigan would tell an aide that one of his supporters didn’t give as much as they were supposed to this year.
Cross would ask that 1.5 billion in taxes be cut across the board to make up for this unexpected revenue. His side of the aisle wouldn’t notice that the math doesn’t quite balance out.
Comment by Robert Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:22 pm
Raise taxes.
Comment by Another Anonymous Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:27 pm
Quinn would turn it in after a five hour speech about it where he mentions all of the key words, Land of Lincoln, jobs, etc. etc. ad nauseum.
We would never know Mike Madigan found it.
The Help from Cross and Ragdanos personal staff would find it and they would never know.
Comment by Irish Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:33 pm
Vegas Baby!
Comment by just sayin' Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:33 pm
Same thing done with other cash in their possession / control that isn’t theirs. It’d be “curated”.
http://illinois.statehousenewsonline.com/6671/uncashed-checks-to-be-curated-by-state-quicker/
Comment by Logic not emotion Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:41 pm
STL wins, in my book.
(Who says it hasn’t already happened?)
Comment by walkinfool Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:48 pm
Donate it to a “worthy” cause? lol
Comment by Levois Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 2:51 pm
RICH
I am curious regarding the political party affiliations of the bloggers on this web-site. I think an interesting poll/question would be which political party most represents their beliefs and positions on the various issues.
Have you ever conducted such a poll or something similar? If so, please share the results. Food for thought!
Comment by MOON Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:01 pm
Quinn: Would be reminded of this time when he was in Metropolis he found $5 and how Lincoln once returned an overcharge to someone when he was postmaster of New Salem and continue on this path until the money was picked up by a state legislator he didn’t notice standing there
Comment by OneMan Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:09 pm
What bags of money? I didn’t find anything.
Comment by in Paris Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:18 pm
Cullerton would ask his caucus what to do with it, after they fight about it for 2 days he asks Madigan what to do.
Radogno would wait to see what Cullerton does, and then criticize him for it but afterwards she calls him and tells him that she wants to work together.
Tom Cross would cause some people think he has big plans for the money, but in reality he is not sure what to do.
Pat Quinn would hold a press conference. Blame the Republicans for corporate tax loopholes that are so generous that one man has to keep his extra cash in a cabbage patch. He would also criticize people for not using banks, but then a reporter points out that Quinn keeps money in his mattress. A spokesman clarifies what he really meant later.
Mike Madigan would do nothing. Unless someone asks about it and only then would he partially acknowledge that there is a bag with some money in it and say that they are still discussing the issue.
Comment by siriusly Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:26 pm
“Holy !!!, when did I bury this?”
Comment by JustMe Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:27 pm
MJM: “A decision about what to do with the found money is currently under review,” said Madigan spokesman Steve Brown, who refused to elaborate other than to say “I don’t make predictions.”
Quinn: “An administration spokesperson did not respond to repeated requests for comment.”
Cullerton: “Senate President Cullerton plans to use the money to hire an additional staffer to respond full-time to Chicago Tribune editorials.”
Radogno: “The Leader will soon issue a press release about how this fortunate find could help roll back the state’s high tax burden. However, no actual legislation will ever be introduced.”
Cross: “The House Republican Caucus has taken a formal position to not discuss the found money. However, Rep. Chris Nybo has once again parted with his caucus and intends to vote with the Democrats if the issue ever comes to the floor.”
Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:40 pm
Quinn: “Shhh! Don’t let the Regional Superintendents find out about this money. Those crybabies will expect a cut.”
Comment by Wensicia Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 3:52 pm
MOON,
That used to be a very easy question for me to answer. Now I would have to say neither one.
Comment by Bill Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 4:40 pm
Seed money for a ponzi scheme?
Comment by sal-says Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 4:48 pm
Quinn would initiate a blue ribbon panel to determine if the bags were made in Illinois. If not, he would make a long rambling speech about bag making in Illinois. Next he would check to see if the bills bore the label of the Chicago Federal Reserve, “a fine Federal Reserve office, in Chicago, which is a large city, a city where many good people live, people who work hard, it is in Illinois, a great state, where fine people live, people who work hard at farming and bag making”. After his long rambling speech, he would forget all about the bags, trip over them on his way out and and just leave them there.
Comment by Fed Up Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 4:50 pm
This may be the moment Radogno was born for. Cash rules. Cream. Get the money. Dolla dolla bill ya’ll.
Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 6:19 pm
Divide it based on a winner-take-all map, so then Madigan, Quinn and Cullerton would find shoe boxes for their 3-way share. Radogno and Cross would go home without squealing, hoping they make the map next time.
Comment by JustaJoe Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 6:20 pm
They may actually use it to pay their past due bills, or they may order strippers. Probably strippers.
Comment by A Modest Proposal Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 8:04 pm
Pat Quinn would not have found the money.
He is only in McHenry County when flying from Chicago to Rockford.
Comment by Cal Skinner Thursday, Sep 1, 11 @ 8:35 pm