Capitol Fax.com - Your Illinois News Radar

Caption contest!

Posted in:

Illinois

* Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh…

Please, keep it clean, people. Don’t get yourself banned for life and hunted down like a dog over a silly caption contest.

I’m thinking about barbecuing a whole hog soon. Winner will get an invite if I actually do it.

posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 4:39 am

Comments

That’s the amount teachers contributed to their pensions in 64% of Illinois public school districts in 2010 according to the ISBE. Little to nothing. 64% of the districts considered the teachers 9.4% contribution to be board paid, which means the teachers in those districts contributed little to nothing to their pension plan. So when you look up teacher pay on familytaxpayers.org or another public database, to figure out what the teacher really earns, you must look at the collective bargaining agreement for that district, and determine what amount if any of the teachers 9.4% contribution the board is “picking up”, then add that amount to the salary.

Comment by Mark Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 5:04 am
Too Much Satan for One Hand !

Comment by x ace Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 5:15 am
I didn’t say that, follow my fingers, they did.

Comment by Wickedred Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 5:57 am
Sure I cheated on my wife, went on European vacations and loaned money to my campaign instead of paying child support, failed to pay my campaign staff, got evicted, had IRS problems, treated my highly respectful opponent Cong. Bean like dirt, blew off a speech to Congress by the President in order to make a cheap political point, and palled around with that Chicago Tea Party guy who likes hookers, but I had no role at all in the hiring of Ken Williams so, in proper context, I’m not that bad of a guy.

Comment by Skeeter Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 6:07 am
“I will not let President Obama saddle my children with even this much debt. That’s MY job!”

Comment by I really shouldn't Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 6:48 am
So I stuck my fingers in the dike and proclaimed,”No new taxes”!

Comment by vince glothor Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 6:54 am
Hope you have more experience a BBQing a whole hog than Robin Ventura has in managing. Both could make you sick to your stomach.

Comment by Leave a Light on George Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 6:56 am
Ignore the hair, I’m not him, the mayor is only this tall.

Comment by Give Me A Break Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 6:59 am
So the Jeremy Pivin in 10 years look a like contest is over there?

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:04 am
What I owe per child is only a small amount compared to what they owe because of out of control government spending.

Comment by Midway Garden Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:04 am
I was elected to congress, because …Americans are more center-right, than left.

Comment by Allen Skillicorn Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:04 am
I see so many issues in Washington I have to point with two fingers.

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:05 am
And yea, I said unto him “Only a bar of gold this thick shall buy my vote, sirrah!”

Comment by beserkr29 Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:06 am
Even if the leadership ties my thumbs together I can still point out problems.

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:07 am
So the congressional themed scrapbooking supplies ar e over there?

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:08 am
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout….

Comment by Champaign Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:09 am
Is the Halverson/Jackson primary going to get ugly? Well there will be about this much not ugly

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:09 am
Apologies to George Harold Sanders and Clarence Z. Kelley:

I’m a little Tea Partier,
Paid to pout,
I’ll take that moolah,
As I hold these hands out,
‘bama gets me steamed,
FOX lets me shout,
Special interest money done sold me out!

I’m a Special Teapot,
Yes, it’s true,
Here’s another example of how I’ll fool you,
I can cross my fingers and shout “You Lie!”,
Koch bros listening? I’m your guy!

Comment by Das Man Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:17 am
No the tea party does not lead me by nose, but by my fingers….

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:19 am
If we just had concealed carry, then when those guys broke into the place, I would have had something other than these fingers to point at them.

Comment by in Paris Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:25 am
Randy Hultgren, the exit is thataway

Comment by Ned Racnad Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:29 am
This is how I turned a negative into a positive ….

Comment by The People Speak Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:32 am
Child support deadbeat? He went that a way!

Comment by i love capitol fax Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:35 am
“CAPTION CONTEST? I’m warning you Miller this finger is loaded”

Comment by WazUP Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:45 am
The first time I ran everyone thought my chances were this much

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:50 am
I came this close to paying my child support

Comment by Fed Up Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 7:53 am
I’m just grateful that Pinocchio hex thing was just temporary.

Comment by Aldyth Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:09 am
Congressman Joe Wash indicates at his hourly press conference just how much child support he’s actually paid compared to how much he owes.

Comment by Amuzing Myself Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:10 am
This is the gap between what you say I owe in child support and what I think I owe!!

Comment by nah Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:10 am
“You’re looking for Joe Walsh to come in and pay his child support? Yeah, that’s him over there.”

Comment by Orange and Blue Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:14 am
Yeah…this is how it looks when I have handcuffs on. Next?

Comment by How Ironic Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:22 am
I have about this much left of my 15 minutes.

Comment by Tom Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:23 am
Talk to my accountant over there, he pays for it all.

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:33 am
You are looking for the other Joe Walsh, he is performing over there.

Comment by OneMan Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:35 am
The 99% are over there. And if I pay child support, I mean taxes, I just encourage their ongoing irresponsibility.

Comment by Lakeview Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:38 am
Hey, I got me this office in Washington, Congressional Seal on the wall, small people leave me messages, I never call.

And when I find myself in this beautiful office I sometimes ask myself, well, how did I get here?

Okay, let me tell you about this once in a lifetime opportunity . . .

Comment by Bill White Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:49 am
I used to know how to play itsy bitsy spider but I get confused now. How does it go again?

Comment by Kerfuffle Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:49 am
. . . but when I tried to put my child support check in the mail, the envelope was only this long.

or

What kind of father am I? Pull both my fingers!

Comment by JustMe Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:51 am
“The illegal aliens from the flying saucer are over there! They have confided in me as to what I must do in order to save our planet from Obama. They gave me a plan!”

Comment by Wilson Pickett Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:52 am
Joe Walsh unsuccessfully attempts to demonstrate why he, and not Henry Winkler, should have been picked to play “the Fonz”.

Comment by HoosierDaddy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:52 am
“Good question … that is why I brought my legal counsel … sitting over THERE ….wave guys … there they are! … sitting there … so ask them that question and they will get back to you …. and … I hate taxes …. next question ….”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:52 am
How Ironic@ 8:22 - lol!

Comment by Roadiepig Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:54 am
“I’m thinking about barbecuing a whole hog soon. Winner will get an invite if I actually do it.”

Hey Rich, this sounds like something one of our politicians would say!

Comment by Holdingontomywallet Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:54 am
“This is how long I’ll be serving in Congress.”

Comment by reformer Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:55 am
“I was playing with my model X-Wing fighter the other day … Star Wars, c’mon guys … and I was swooping it around … and flying it … ‘RRRRRRRR’ … c’mon, you never pretended to fly models with your hands …. “

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:55 am
What you want to do is cut the pieces of tinfoil about this long.

Comment by just sayin' Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:57 am
“When I use Hershey’s chocolate syrup, how much do I put in? … easy … this much, but I add a dash of nutmeg …”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:57 am
“Ok … this side, ‘LOWER’ … this side, ‘TAXES’ ….’LOWER’ ‘TAXES ….’LOWER’ ‘TAXES’ … Ok quicker! …’LOWER’ TAXES’….”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 8:59 am
Think you’ll beat me in this game of finger football? Well I’m moving the goalpost. Ha!!!

Comment by Bluefish Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:00 am
“Ok, ok. If my children were this big… then yes I would pay child support. But really we all know its Obama’s fault, am I right - or what?”

Comment by SportShoz Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:05 am
Yeah yeah, the child support is out in my car. Let me go get it and I’ll be right back.

Comment by Capone Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:09 am
My child support payments were a wad this big. All singles, but hey . . .

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:13 am
“My name is Matt Foley. I am a motivational speaker. I am 35 years old, thrice divorced … and I live in a VAN… down by the river …”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:13 am
“No, I only represent those two guys”.

Comment by walkinfool Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:19 am
“No, I am not kidding….I havent paid child support since my kids were this big”

Comment by Raising Kane Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:21 am
And Obama cheated with a foot wedge when he was playing with Speaker Boehner, the ball was this - far from the cup!

Comment by Mongo Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:27 am
“…and this signifies that you’re O.G. Tea Party.”

Comment by wordslinger Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:28 am
let’s see….Moe Howard taught me this finger move. Shemp taught me all about being replaced. Larry and Curly served as role models for behavior and rational thought.

Comment by anonymoose Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:34 am
“I want to thank everyone for coming … I will be over THERE, signing my book, ‘Are You Sure I Owe Child support, Or Is This a Left Wing Conspiracy’, and don’t forget your complimentary bumper sticker for coming today, ‘Oh Yeah, we’ll my Deadbeat Dad is in Congress’ … again, the table right over there …”

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:38 am
“Help me, Help YOU”

Comment by Come on man! Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:45 am
“Are there any constituents that I haven’t completely alienated yet? Yes. They’re both standing over there”

Comment by s Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:46 am
“Got any gum?”

Comment by Boone Logan Square Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:53 am
I was thinking about doing that TV show “I’m a celebrity get me out of here!” after I lose my congressional seat to Hultgren, but then I spoke with Patti and she told me the bugs they make you eat are thiiis big.

Comment by Responsa Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:54 am
Do you see Hell over there? DO YOU SEE IT! Well when that freezes over is when you’ll get child support from me!

Comment by Fed up Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 9:58 am
Walsh to Constituents:
“Seems to me, you don’t want to talk about it.
Seems to me, you just turn your pretty head and walk away.”

Comment by Boone Logan Square Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:06 am
People who know do.
People who don’t, scream loud, point fingers and run for Congress.

Comment by anon sequitor Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:06 am
He almost looked like he was handcuffed!

Comment by Levois Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:10 am
“Where’s the new congressional district I’m running in ?” Over there?

Comment by Steve Bartin Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:12 am
Yeah, yeah, yeah! So I lied! But it was only this much!

Comment by Jimmyd Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:25 am
… so I pulled out my pistola, racked the slide to chamber a round and said “Richie, I told you before that it’s time to retire. Did you think I was kidding?”

Comment by Ken in Aurora Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:36 am
The stack of hundreds I owe to my kids is only about this high.

Comment by Lake County Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:40 am
“Hultgren pointed his finger at me? Oh yeah, well right back at you buddy!”

Comment by siriusly Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:41 am
“So Rex Grossman told me, keep trying for those touchdowns, and never let ‘em throw you out of this game…”

Comment by ZC Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:41 am
“So Steve Jobs pointed at me and he said, ‘Stay hungry, stay foolish,’ and I’ve lived by those words ever since…”

Comment by ZC Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:44 am
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude. They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude.

Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:45 am
“I put all my child support payments in the mail box over there.”

Comment by Left Out Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:47 am
When I left my wife and kids, the children were only ‘this big.’ Under her watch they have grown larger and larger each year. I refuse to lend my support or approval to such out of control growth by paying my child support!

Comment by Transplant Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:53 am
“Yeah, yeah, right. But you know what?? Me and reality are only THIS FAR apart…”

Comment by GMatts Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 10:53 am
Rep. Walsh attempts to use ASL to inform the deaf community that he is not in fact the devil.

Comment by Jake From Elwood Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:05 am
Joe Walsh practices for a future as a Football Ref. Thinking in his mind “3rd down and inches.”

Comment by Hog Gravy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:05 am
Speak to the hands..

Comment by mouthy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:28 am
“So the President says, let’s knock of this partisan nonsense and solve these issues with a game of finger football. So he holds up his fingers like this, for the goal posts, and says ‘Kick It.’ If you make it we’ll do things your way . . . . “

Comment by Demoralized Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:37 am
“This guy,” said Tea Party darling Joe Walsh, “that one over there. He’s a Democratic tracker hoping to catch me saying something crazy. You know what, I don’t give a darn! This could end up a CapFax caption contest for all I care. Now, about Randy.”

Comment by Apple Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:40 am
Joe Walsh demonstrates his superior hand shadow skills by showing school kids how to make a goat.

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:44 am
T”he TEA Party has this much time to be effective and make a change. Wait… time’s up?…”

Comment by in the 'ville Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:44 am
U.S. Rep. Joe Walsh is seen here directing traffic at Starbucks during one of his much lauded “Cup of Joe with Joe” events. He later passed a hat to pay down his back child support, citing his six figure congressional salary as insufficient.

Comment by Apple Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 11:46 am
Now put them on the table and … goalposts.

Comment by zatoichi Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 12:10 pm
And HERE is my shadow puppet of my double barreled sawed off shotgun.

Comment by Benny Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 12:57 pm
I’m taking care of the pork in Washington, and I’ll take care of the pork at Rich’s house too. It’s this way right?

Comment by PublicServant Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 12:58 pm
“So Carlton Fisk is wavin’… and I mean WAVIN’ … “Stay fair, stay fair!”, and I am just a kid, and I’m wavin’ “Stay fair, stay fair” …

Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 1:02 pm
She started it…

Comment by farmhand Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 1:36 pm
Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

Comment by Anonymous Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 2:00 pm
I’m stealing this from an earlier poster (forget whom? Schnorf?), so I don’t want credit for this, but only because it seems so appropos here:

“So my children don’t have a revenue problem. See? That’s their revenue. They have a spending problem.”

Comment by ZC Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 2:00 pm
This is how many terms I think I will have.

Comment by Rahm'sParkingMeter Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 2:02 pm
After I used the Grecian Formula my little black book was this thick

Comment by Fed Up Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 3:23 pm
“To infinity and beyond!”

Comment by Carl Nyberg Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 4:38 pm
Don’t believe what others tell you, I DO have opposable thumbs!

Comment by Wensicia Friday, Oct 7, 11 @ 4:44 pm

Add a comment

Sorry, comments are closed at this time.

Last 10 posts:

Reader comments closed for the weekend (11-22)
Isabel’s afternoon roundup (11-22)
The Waukegan City Clerk was railroaded (11-22)
Whatever happened, the city has a $40 million budget hole it didn't disclose until now (11-22)
Manar gives state agencies budget guidance: Cut, cut, cut (11-22)
Roundup: Ex-Chicago Ald. Danny Solis testifies in Madigan corruption trial (11-22)
Open thread (11-22)
Isabel’s morning briefing (11-22)
SUBSCRIBERS ONLY - Today's edition of Capitol Fax (use all CAPS in password) (11-22)
Live coverage (11-22)