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Not the greatest subject matter for a guy with a birthday party hangover

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Illinois

The Illinois House voted unanimously Wednesday to criminalize sexual conduct with a corpse.

House Bill 5122 also would make it a felony to move a dead body without authorization.

The bill’s chief sponsor, Rep. Daniel Beiser, D-Alton, said he had received complaints from prosecutors and county coroners in Madison County that some people have moved the bodies of people who had overdosed on drugs. That contaminates a crime scene, Beiser said.

Beiser said the section criminalizing sexual conduct with a corpse was added in response to a case in Madison County from the 1990s. Today, such a person can be charged only with criminal damage to property.

* Ugh…

State laws don’t address the issue of sex with a corpse, and prosecutors have resorted to charging suspects with criminal damage to property.

“When you think of that, you think of someone going … breaking a mailbox or something similar,” Beiser said. “We obviously understand that isn’t adequate, that anybody who abuses or mishandles a deceased just demeans the meaning of that person’s life.”

If the measure becomes law, sex with a corpse would result in a Class 2 felony, with punishments ranging from probation to seven years in prison. Anyone caught moving a corpse would face a Class 4 felony, with penalties ranging from probation to three years in jail.

I just wanna go back to bed.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:31 am

Comments

So if one were to have particularly vigorous ‘relations’ with a corpse would they be charged with 2 counts?

1 for the relations, and another for moving the corpse?

Enjoy the hangover. I’m sure the party was worth it.

Comment by How Ironic Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:39 am
I made fun of the person who said this bill was being taken up yesterday. “Come on, that’s already against the law,” I said.

Actually I think it’s a compliment to our state that we didn’t think of outlawing the unthinkable. But still…

Comment by Dirty Red Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:43 am
Interesting that necrophilia isn’t illegal. Guessing many states it is.

As to the other law, that’s kinda ridiculous. You go into your kids bedroom, and he’s dead and you’re not supposed to touch him or move him? How do you figure out he’s dead? I know of one family member who held her husband, who had died, for awhile before the paramedics showed up.

Unintended consequences.

Comment by Oh Corpse Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:47 am
–The Illinois House voted unanimously Wednesday to criminalize sexual conduct with a corpse.–

Must have been some party, Rich. But I can’t help but asking: which party in the equation were you?

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:53 am
What if the death occured during sex? Or, a recipient simulated death by showing no emotion whatsoever during sex (err, a friend told me that sometimes occurs, yeah that’s it)?

Comment by PublicServant Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:56 am
===But I can’t help but asking: which party in the equation were you? ===

This morning, I feel like the corpse.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:57 am
Next they’ll be telling me I can’t watch True Blood. (because folks in Bon Temps have sex with dead people ALL THE TIME.)

Comment by soccermom Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 10:59 am
We ridicule some of the stranger sounding stuff, but this seems legit and I give Beiser credit for doing this. I am sure not a lot of people run for office saying I can’t wait to deal with stuff like this or really want to spend their time on it (probably doesn’t make the worlds greatest tv ad material), but it needs to be done and hopefully it helps these people that work on the issue.

Comment by Shore Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:16 am
Happy Birthday!!!

Comment by BelleAire Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:18 am
As sick as this sounds, I have a friend in the funeral home business who says that this happens. There are necrophiliacs who get into the industry in order to get access to victims. The whole thing makes me shudder in horror.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:23 am
I take it by move they mean move it to a different locale, not move it while checking to see if its dead, or touching it out of emotional response.

I can understand why someone might want to move the body of a friend if they die of an overdose in one’s house and were getting the drugs from same. I doubt this law is going to change that behavior as the bad behavior comes from a sense of self-preservation.

Comment by cermak_rd Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:33 am
Upon reading this, I IMMEDIATELY thought of a great song by the New York Rock & Roll Ensemble……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IA6bElymeb8

Comment by JustaJoe Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 11:44 am
Not sure why this needs to be criminalized. It’s prima facie evidence of severe mental illness, not a criminal act deserving of punishment.

Comment by lincoln's beard Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:25 pm
It would be hilarious if Cullerton opposed this bill for some reason. The headlines would blare “Corpse Bill DOA in the Illinois Senate”.

Comment by PublicServant Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:49 pm
Whoa…this is LEGAL?!?

So much lost time to make up for….

Comment by Corpsy Clinton Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:50 pm
Would attaching a hostile amendment be considered screwing a corpse bill?

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 1:54 pm
From what I remember, right around 50 years old the ability to bounce back from debauchery began to greatly diminish. It sometimes takes days or even weeks to recover. You would think that at that advanced age maturity and, therefore, moderation would be the norm. But NOOOOOOO…

Happy belated birthday.

Comment by Bill Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 2:01 pm
Beiser is in a dogfight in his re-election bid, for the first time in his career. He’s doing everything he can to distract everyone from his tax hike vote. He’s been a press release machine in the local papers here for the past 3-4 months. Every time a letter to the editor appears, criticizing his vote to raise the income tax, we see a flurry of meaningless articles (generated from press releases from his office) over the following week.

Comment by East Sider Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 2:47 pm
I agree, this is not a criminal act but an act of extreme mental illness that needs to be addressed. Putting someone into the criminal system will not help them at all but further cause mental degregation.

Comment by Paul S. Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 3:41 pm
So do you remember what happened last night, Rich?

Comment by Boone Logan Square Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 3:55 pm
But can I still rent “Weekend at Bernie’s” or will it be pulled from the shelves of movie stores across the state?

Comment by TCB Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 4:17 pm
I wonder how many people are gonna cross this off their bucket list now that it’s gonna be illegal? More rampant crime we just didn’t know about. Who da thunk?

Comment by dupage dan Thursday, Mar 29, 12 @ 4:46 pm
Last dance with Mary Jane, one more time to kill the pain…

Comment by Jerry101 Friday, Mar 30, 12 @ 12:00 am