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* Top five replacements for US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald? Fitz, of course, announced today that he’s resigning soon.

Snark is heavily encouraged.

posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:09 pm

Comments

Lisa Madigan. The U.S. Attorney’s office for the Northern District has been far too proactive in investigating political corruption and she’s just the person to get that office back on track.

Comment by so.... Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:11 pm
Bill Clinton
Rod Blagojevich
Rich Daley
Fast Eddie Vrodylak
Sam Cahnman

Comment by goo goos go boo hoo Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:11 pm
I’m pretty sure Roland Burris has an open space on his mausoleum…

Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:11 pm
Sam Adams (both of them), so the press conferences will be epic.

Comment by Boone Logan Square Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:12 pm
Sam Adam, Jr., pwned; you might as well give it to him.

Comment by Elo Kiddies Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:13 pm
I hear Aurie Pucinski is looking for a new job.

Comment by Tom B. Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:21 pm
If Jim Oberwise was only an attorney, but what about Tim Johnson, he’s free. Or even, heck, where’s Bob Kustra? LOL

Comment by In absentia Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:22 pm
Wait, John Nicolay. He’s the one!

Comment by In absentia Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:24 pm
1. Ella Fitzgerald
2. Larry Fitzgerald
3. Zelda Fitzgerald
4. Barry Fitzgerald
5. The Edmund Fitzgerald

or

1. Patrick Kane
2. Patrick Henry
3. Patrick Stewart
4. Patrick Sajak
5. Lenny Patrick

Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:27 pm
Obviously, Derrick Smith

Comment by PublicServant Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:29 pm
Richard Daley

Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:30 pm
raja-he has to go for every top political job in Illinois now.

Comment by shore Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:32 pm
Tom Dart

Comment by Jemal Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:36 pm
Rob Blagojevich clearly has experience with the system and is a top prospect.

Big Jim Thompson has been working the other side for quite a while now, he needs to switch back to the white knight side. (Plus, he’s big and scary.)

My number one pick is Pat Quinn. He loves the spotlight, cleaning up corruption has always been a big part of his mission, and he would do a lot less damage there.

(Too lazy to pick five.)

Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:36 pm
By category:

Lawyer with nowhere else to go: Jack Franks.

Lawyer with nothing else to do: Roland Burris.

Lawyer who’s tired of being retired: Rich Daley.

Lawyers out of work after January 20, 2013: Don Manzullo, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:38 pm
Although Zelda Fitzgerald would hold such lovely, lovely news conferences. “Do you always watch for the day the grand jury hands down indictments and then miss it? I always watch for the day the grand jury hands down indictments and then miss it.”

Comment by soccermom Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:41 pm
Harvey Dent (although I hear he’s of two minds about it).

Comment by Billy Dennis Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:55 pm
Ditka

Comment by Anon Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:01 pm
This position will be interesting because if Romney wins the person is likely to be out a job. The only thing that saved Fitz was the high profile cases he was on.

So I suppose that the first order of business for the Dem appointee is to indict someone important real quick.

Also, we know there is no way the Senate fills this, even if Obama made a recommendation. They moved slow when the Dems had a filibuster proof majority. So when can Obama make one of his recess appointments? August?

John Schmidt would be a good placeholder.

Comment by Hold Your Horses Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:10 pm
Jack O’Malley
Bruce Wolf
Robert Bork
Tony LaRussa (yes, he’s a lawyer)
Harry Porterfield, Someone you should know

Comment by 10th ward Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:13 pm
PAT QUINN!!!

Comment by He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:16 pm
Jackie Chiles. Now that would be fun!!

Comment by Tommydanger Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:16 pm
Bill Clinton can’t, he’s been disbarred for that whole purjury thing, but Hilary will be avaiilable soon.

Comment by Abby Normal Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:29 pm
Rolland Burris
Oprah
Richard Daley
Random Nice or Nephew of Richard Daley
Scott Lee Cohen

Comment by OneMan Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:34 pm
=== Jackie Chiles. Now that would be fun!! ===

Tommy,

That’s preposterous, it’s ludicrous, outrageous and downright egregious!

Comment by TCB Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:36 pm
Perry Mason
Ellery Queen
Linus Roache
Corben Bernsen and
Jill Eikenberry (these three aren’t lawyers, but they play one on TV!)

Comment by What planet is he from? Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:40 pm
Judge Judy

Comment by OneMan Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:41 pm
Patti Blagojevich

Comment by It's 5 o'clock somewhere Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:42 pm
Scott Lee Cohen for US Attorney:
He’ll cut the corruption out of government

Comment by goo goos go boo hoo Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:47 pm
Jason Ervin’s girlfriend.

Comment by LakeviewJ Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:49 pm
Jack Franks. He’s always been one to get a job done without any fanfare or political speeches. And he never takes credit for anything either.

Modest Jack is what we called him in law school

Comment by Lincoln's Penny Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:50 pm
5… Patty Blagojevich
4… Obama (if it gets him to quit his current job)
3… Sam Adams (the beer)
2… The entire TMZ crew
1… Waldorf & Statler (The Muppet Critics)

Comment by Scott McCoy (ICRN Talk Radio Host) Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:50 pm
Illinois Supreme Court Justice Anne Burke. You can’t say she doesn’t know anything about criminal law.

Comment by Steve Bartin Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:53 pm
1 thru 5: Roland Burris (he’s not doing anything else)

Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 1:57 pm
Let’s turn back the clock to the 1980s and let Jim Thompson make the pick.

Comment by Anyone Remember? Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:04 pm
“Jimmy John” Liautaud

Comment by BIG R. PH Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:08 pm
Mike Madigan
Sam Adams,Sr.
Sam Adams, Jr.
Pat Collins….The wannabe
Rich Daley

Comment by MOON Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:08 pm
Bill Daley
Chris Kennedy

Comment by Ivory-billed Woodpecker Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:12 pm
Dawn Clark Netsch

Seriously

Comment by maddem Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:21 pm
Locke Bowman
anyone from Loevy and Loevy (or whatever)
Sam Adam
the other Tom Durkin

Comment by amalia Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:42 pm
1. Lionel Hutz
2. Vinnie Gambini
3. Otis B. Driftwood
4. Frank Abagnale, Jr.
5. Ben Matlock

Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:44 pm
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to find corruption in Illinois, but I nominate Clayton Harris III just in case.

Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:47 pm
Jason Plummer’s Dad promised the job to Jason.

Comment by OurMagician Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:55 pm
1) Mitchell Y. McDeere
2) Avery Tolar
3) Rudy Baylor
4) Jake Brigance
5) Reggie Love

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:57 pm
=== Jackie Chiles. Now that would be fun!! ===

Tommy,

That’s preposterous, it’s ludicrous, outrageous and downright egregious!

=================

It just doesn’t fit…

Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:57 pm
===Jason Plummer’s Dad promised the job to Jason.===

I dunno if Dad wants Jason in Chicago full time …

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 2:59 pm
===- wordslinger - Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 12:27 pm:

1. Ella Fitzgerald
2. Larry Fitzgerald
3. Zelda Fitzgerald
4. Barry Fitzgerald
5. The Edmund Fitzgerald

or

1. Patrick Kane
2. Patrick Henry
3. Patrick Stewart
4. Patrick Sajak
5. Lenny Patrick ===

Couldn’t match that. Thought about it and couldn’t hold a candle to the “genius”. Tried and failed …

Well played, Sir!

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:08 pm
1) Dan Proft
2) Ed Burke
3) Tom Dart
4) Julie Hamos
5) Patrick Quinn

Comment by reformer Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:11 pm
Joel Daly

Comment by amalia Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:15 pm
Amazed nobody has suggested this:

Derrick Smith!

Comment by Chicago Cynic Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:17 pm
Barry Zuckercorn or Bob Loblaw

Comment by Montrose Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:20 pm
While we’re on the Patrick kick, let’s add:

Patrick Duffy
Dan Patrick
The Ghost of Patrick Swayze (appropriate since he played a ghost in “Ghost”)
Sean Patrick Flannery
Patrick Ewing
St. Patrick
Patrick Dempsey
Patrick Buchanan
Patrick Riley

All would do a splendid job.

Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:24 pm
“Hollywood” Hendon

Comment by archibaldjones Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:27 pm
Careen Gordon!

Comment by anon Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:33 pm
=== While we’re on the Patrick kick, let’s add: ===

No love for Neil Patrick Harris?

I think if he were slected it would be Legen(wait for it)dary!

Comment by TCB Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:39 pm
Thanks TCB. I’m also sure I forgot some sports stars as well. I’ve hit that “2:30 feeling” wall.

Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:40 pm
Alicia Florrick

Comment by hisgirlfriday Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:43 pm
1) Daniel Kaffee
2) Jo Galloway
3) Sam Weinberg
4) “Smiling” Jack Ross
5) Judge Julius Alexander Randolph

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:45 pm
Tom Hagen(?)

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:47 pm
Butch Patrick.

He’d be scary good.

Plus, if I recall, he knows the mean streets of Chicago pretty well.

Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:47 pm
=== 2) Jo Galloway ===

Id rather not have an US Attorney that is “Galactically Stupid”

Comment by TCB Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 3:52 pm
Be advised the Obamas do not qualify because the elected to let their licenses lapse.

Perhaps time to renew

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:01 pm
Give Jo Galloway a chance - She’s is all passion, no street smarts …

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:05 pm
5. Ed Vrdolyak- plenty of judicial system experience
4. Richard the Lionheart- another “crusader”
3. Robb Stark- “The King in the North…ern District of Illinois!!”
2. John Hathorne- Show ‘em what a REAL witch-hunt looks like
1. Ed Hanrahan- He is, after all, a precinct captain

Comment by tikkunolam Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:09 pm
David Ellis

Comment by 1776 Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:17 pm
Chris Cooper

Comment by Ivory-billed Woodpecker Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:18 pm
Danica Patrick.

Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:33 pm
It’ll be someone from outside the State of Illinois in my humble opinion.
Someone high up in the US Attys offices in Boston, NYC or another east coaster…
But my snarky side aings out for Burt Odelson.
He’s unafraid to take on the power structure, right?

Comment by Jake From Elwood Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:38 pm
Patticus Finchgerald.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 4:46 pm
Peter Francis Geraci

Comment by Reality Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 5:04 pm
because this state needs a bankruptcy expert:

-fiscally bankrupt
-ethically bankrupt pols
-leadership bankrupt

Comment by Reality Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 5:06 pm
five WORST choices:

anyone with the last name of Madigan
anyone with the last name of Daley
anyone admired by either of the above
any licensed attorney in Illinois (sorry)
any licensed attorney who’s firm has an office in Illinois

Comment by OpenlineBlog Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 5:30 pm
1. Justice Anne Burke is perfect.
2. If not, Dan Degnan.
3. Mike Kasper.
4. Flint Taylor.
5. Mara Georges.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 6:59 pm
1. Sergio Acosta
2. Mike Hood
3. Cara Smith
4. Mike Smith
5.Bill O’Brien

Comment by seriously speaking Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 7:14 pm
Stuart Levine. They could move the office to the Purple Hotel and all the prosecutors could be former rentboys.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 7:45 pm
“Prosecute ‘Em…

Someone is talking about a Burke becoming a US Attorney and it looks like it may happen soon.

To Wit: Justice Anne Burke is this/close to becoming that next US Attorney for the Northern Illinois District.

The other half of Chicago’s most Powerful Power Couple, Alderman Ed Burke is ‘Over the Moon’.

The Burkes celebrated with a hush-hush dinner with Jay Doherty. Everyone had a fabulous time.”

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 8:08 pm
Dear Seriously speaking,
We know you are really just Mike Hood.

Comment by anonymouse Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 8:49 pm
Michael Madigan
Emil Jones
Blago
Fitzgerald

Ten years later the only one left standing - Madigan

Comment by just saying Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 9:22 pm
Mike Madigan. I see no conflict in him remaining Speaker, Dem Party chairman AND taking on the responsibilities of US Atty for northern district.

Comment by Michelle Flaherty Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 9:28 pm
Lou Lang…he’d get the job done

Comment by Now whadyathink Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 10:00 pm
Joe Biden - rumor has it Obama wants to replace him on the ticket and that would be a way to ease him out

Otto Kerner - plenty of experience and he’s probably still voting in Chicago anyway

Dan Walker - again, plenty of experience but he’d have to move back to the US

Sheila Simon - at least she has an active Illinois license

Ben Miller - Former IL Supreme Court Justice … (OK, this one is semi-serious)

Comment by Retired Non-Union Guy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 10:13 pm
didn’t jessie jackson Jr go to Law school.
then he can investigate why there hasn’t been a Peotone Airport

Comment by frustrated GOP Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 10:27 pm
Perry Mason
The Thin Man
Dick Tracy
Charlie Chan
Sherlock Holmes

Comment by Mouthy Wednesday, May 23, 12 @ 11:23 pm
Stevie Wonder - He can’t see Daley either.

Comment by LongGone Thursday, May 24, 12 @ 6:37 am