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* Mayor Rahm Emanuel received a health screening last week…

Keep it clean, people. Thanks.

posted by Rich Miller
Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:46 am

Comments

“You only have 9.5 fingers!”

“I privatized the missing digit.”

Comment by Ravenswood Right Winger Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:50 am
No, Mr. Mayor, you have that backwards, I use MY finger …

Comment by titan Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:54 am
“You think how I dissed chik-fil-a was bad, I LITERALLY gave Arby’s the finger!”

Comment by Happy Returns Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:55 am
Moments before they were going to test the blood a voice cried out…

“Don’t touch it, it is per evil”

BTW, I think Happy Returns wins…

Comment by OneMan Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:57 am
No,no, no, use this finger. I use the other one too much for work.

Comment by Downstate weed chewing hick Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:57 am
Did they find a cure for Tourette Syndrome?

Comment by Homer J. Simpson Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:03 am
Rahm is having his most precious assets…his fingers… examined.

Comment by amalia Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:06 am
That hurt. But you seem nice, so I’m only gonna give you the ring finger.

Comment by KGB Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:09 am
No you can’t have another one, I need the rest of them

Comment by Todd Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:10 am
“You see? It’s real blood, not ice water like some claim.”

Comment by Wensicia Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:11 am
“On the outside it’s living human tissue. Underneath it’s a hyper-alloy combat chasis, micro-processor controlled…”

Comment by Adam Smith Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:11 am
“Yes, come to think of it, I guess that is odd. My middle finger, unlike my view on marriage, has always been rigidly straight.”

Comment by Downstate Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:17 am
“Hey this test wont reveal I’ve been eating Chick Fil A nonstop every day for the past few months will it? The public cant know!”

Comment by Bakersfield Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:27 am
“Holy cow! It’s Cubs blue!”

Comment by Anonymice Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:37 am
This little piggy went to D.C.
This little piggy came home
This little piggy ate the teachers union
and this little piggy…oops!

Comment by WazUp Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:44 am
So, how much superglue did you use on this new nail set?

Comment by zatoichi Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:54 am
“I #*(&%& told you I wanted the *(*&%-*&@* Band-Aid brand, not some &%(*% knock-off brand. I will #*%&# bury you for that. Do you @$*&% know who the #*&% I am?”

Comment by Ghost of John Brown Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:56 am
“I left some skin off the knuckles in Libertyville and Skokie. Worth it.”

Comment by Boone Logan Square Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:04 am
“Mr. Mayor, is blood supposed to fizz like that?”

Comment by Ron Burgundy Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:06 am
Even though people say you’re such a big one, I’m only going to give you a little one.

Comment by Tommydanger Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:32 am
“Hmmm…you have a very long life line, but it doesn’t travel down to this finger?”

Comment by D.P. Gumby Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:39 am
“So that chicken just came of of nowhere and bit you, huh? Strange that.”

Comment by wordslinger Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:44 am
Let’s hope the photographer left before the more invasive medical procedures began.

Comment by Jake From Elwood Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:01 pm
Keep in mind that finger’s insured by Lloyds of London.

Comment by Southern Illinois Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:02 pm
maybe this is why my math never works out?

Comment by bullet Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:18 pm
“This confirms it. There’s not a drop of decency in this guy!”

Comment by Palos Park Bob Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:28 pm
“How much is it to burn the fingerprints off, and does it hurt much? I’m asking for a friend….”

Comment by Newsclown Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:32 pm
Mr. Mayor, the test results are back, and it’s true you have more power in your ring finger than any other politician in Cook County.

Comment by RFR Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:36 pm
Hurry up with the bandaid before Brady blames Madigan for me getting blood on the floor.

Comment by Give Me A Break Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:50 pm
After we’re finished the baby sized sample, we are moving in for the sangre del grande special, so its time to man up:

ChicagoRedCross Red Cross says blood supply at lowest level in 15 years – USATODAY.com usat.ly/MKEvQ4#.UBaMen… via @USATODAY Can you help?

Comment by Quinn T. Sential Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:07 pm
Um, your honor, holding your middle finger and having you cough just doesn’t meet the requirements.

Comment by Judgment Day Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:09 pm
“Ah there has got to be some blood in there somewhere . . .”

Comment by G'Kar Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:43 pm
Polish or buffed? Just go easy on the on cuticles.

Comment by mokenavince Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 2:12 pm
“So your blood pressure’s very good for a man your age, but I would lay off the John Kass columns.”

Comment by ZC Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 2:47 pm
ouch!

Comment by Siriusly Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 3:24 pm
Pick one. Well anyone that’s left

Comment by One to the Dome Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 5:33 pm
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. . .

Comment by Pale Rider Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 8:38 pm
The City’s speech therapist prepares to fit Mayor Emmanuel with a prosthetic finger.

Comment by sm73 Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:00 pm