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* From a press release…
Monday morning four concerned community members dressed as elves visited Governor Quinn’s Chicago residence and set up a hydraulic fracturing rig with a large red bow attached on the front lawn. The “elves” said they were delivering a present from Santa who has been nervously watching the dangerous practice of hydraulic fracturing or fracking inch closer and closer to becoming reality in Illinois during the past year.
The elves said they were delivering the frack rig because people that live far away from where fracking is planned are the ones making the decision to bring the dangerous practice here. “We are delivering this rig today because if Governor Quinn and the other people that have opened up our state to fracking had to live next to fracking and had to obtain their water from a well I think they would not bring fracking to our state,” said Mike Durshmid of Rising Tide Chicago.
Except that southern Illinois legislators, who will be living near fracking, voted for the bill. I’d love to see those elves head down ‘yonder and put up a rig in Gary Forby’s front yard. Heh.
* I’ve been looking around today for a fresh, year-ending caption contest. This one could be fun. Here’s a photo of the “elf action”…
posted by Rich Miller
Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 12:53 pm
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I don’t care what Santa says, It’s too fracking cold to stand out here in this elf outfit!
Comment by Tequila Mockingbird Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 12:57 pm
A scene from the sequel to the 1993 Beverly Hillbillies movie, “The Beverly Hillbillies Save Christmas in Chicago.”
Comment by Leatherneck Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 12:58 pm
See, fracking is already creating jobs.
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 12:59 pm
Wait, i didnt get a chance to sign the card….
Comment by Ghost Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:01 pm
The pensioners of Illinois couldn’t afford coal so they said “get drilled” Pat!!!!!
By the way I think Forby would find it funny if you put one of those in his front yard. Just better call first so he doesn’t shoot you.
Comment by Spliff Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:05 pm
“I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part!”
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:07 pm
Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They’re each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the crud, son. I’ve got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the varsity swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode. And now they’ve set up an oil rig on the governor’s lawn!
Greg Marmalard: You’re talking about the elves, sir.
Dean Vernon Wormer: Of course I’m talking about the elves, you TWERP!
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:11 pm
I could write a number of captions to the photo involving “elf action,” “drilling,” and “fracking” — just not here.
Comment by wordslinger Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:14 pm
We’re looking for the Island of misfit LegislaToy’s.
Comment by Anonymous Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:16 pm
Quinn barely awake, rubbing his eyes and looking out the front window:
“What the frack??”
Comment by train111 Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:24 pm
“Yes, yes, this is Gov. Quinn. Yes, I did call to report a group of Santa’s elves in my front yard. Yes, I did claim the elves were erecting an unauthorized oil well. Hello? Are you there, 911? Hello? Sheesh, that’s the third fracking time!”
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:35 pm
” Chicago Roughnecks sure look different than them down yonder in the Oilpatch”
Comment by x ace Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:36 pm
We thought about just sticking with the traditional coal in his stocking, but we’re against that too.
Comment by Eve Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:37 pm
For my Springfield friends … “Yeah 911 this is Senator Tony Munoz … i want to complain about these fracking Elves … their making too much fracking noise … I already called the Director of the State Police to get rid of them so get your fracking cops down here to get rid of them!”
Comment by Spliff Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:38 pm
“…set up a hydraulic fracturing rig…”
I realize people dressing up like elves aren’t really trying to be taken seriously, but there’s no such thing as a hydraulic fracturing rig. Did they also bring a football bat?
Comment by Steve Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:44 pm
Because of a great downturn in cookie sales, Ernie and the other Keebler elves decide to moonlight as protesters on PJQ’s lawn
Comment by train111 Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:47 pm
frack me? frack you!
Comment by Ghost Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:50 pm
A lot of the comments that the anti-frackers made during the IDNR comment sessions in Chicago, Effingham, Carbondale, etc. were equally loony.
These kind of stunts are par for the course, as far as these people are concerned. To suggest that locals in Southern Illinois would refuse the an attempt at a potential economic boost from fracking is simply incorrect.
Maybe Dean Wormer will kick ‘em out of SIU.
Comment by Southern IL Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:51 pm
Quinn was going to turn the garden hose on the protestors until he realized that he would have to go to Confession on Saturday and admit to “elf-abuse”.
Comment by Anonymous Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 1:59 pm
Um, Mom? This is your littlest elf. I’ll be a little late for Christmas dinner and I’m guessing I’ll have to take a break from second semester. The cops said it would take a couple of months to get me processed out of Cook County.
Comment by Observation Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:01 pm
“I just like to protest, protesting’s my favorite”
Comment by Downstate Weed Chewing Hick Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:03 pm
Left Elf- Dang, it’s cold out here. Wish I had some heat, oh wait a minute…
Right Elf- I’m never speaking to my mother again for making me do this.
Comment by Simon Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:06 pm
I like sending our money to middle east countries because they seem to really like us.
Comment by The Mother of the 2 Girls Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:07 pm
The two southern Illinois fracking hearings had four hours of mostly locals speaking against fracking. All of three people spoke in favor. Southern Illinois legislators were representing their campaign donors on this one, not their constituents. Keep your head buried in that sand, Rich, but don’t be so sure people in Forby’s district don’t have something similar planned.
Comment by Brass Doors Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:10 pm
Sheesh, first we have to camp out in front of the State Board of Elections, now its fracking in Quinn’s front yard, and who gets the golden horseshoe nominations? Oh, it’s most certainly not the guys and gals in the elf costumes.
Comment by Michelle Flaherty Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:11 pm
“Man, they got the wrong color!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:18 pm
“The gift receipt says… Um, that isn’t very Elf-like…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:19 pm
Would the anti’s rather we burn more coal? Polution sucks, but responsibly harvesting Nat gas is best solution for our energy needs.
Comment by Allen Skillicorn Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:21 pm
“Tell the elves, I signed one pension reform bill, I could call Santa if they keep this up.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:21 pm
Quinn, “Usually, I just get the coal wrapped in a purple tie. I have a lot of purple ties… just saying.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:24 pm
“It said on the box ‘Fragile’, must be Eye-Talian. It’s a major award!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:26 pm
“That must be for another Gov. Quinn. If it had a purple bow, then it would me for me.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:29 pm
I’d love to have a functioning oil well in my yard, too. Is it too late for Christmas delivery?
Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:30 pm
“It’s an Elven message…. Luca Brazi fracks with the lobbyist.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:33 pm
I think it is a creative way to call attention to a cause they believe in. It’s sad to see the anti-fracking folks continually raked across the coals (no holiday pun intended).
Comment by Springfield Wesite Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:34 pm
Our parents went to Disneyeworld on environmentalists’ donations and all we got were these fracking elf suits
Comment by train111 Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:45 pm
“On the 12th day of Christmas, Mike Madigan gave to me,
12 Pis*ed off pensioners
11 Lobbyists lurking
10 Served subpoenas
9 Facilities closing
8 Same sex couples marrying
7 Rauner homes on the housewalk
6 Pics of Oscar
5 Concealed carry permits(maybe)
4 Votes on the Illinois Supreme COurt
3 People signed up for Obamacare
2 Crabby Elves
and a fracking rig on my front lawn.”
Comment by Tommydanger Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:54 pm
This has to be better than 8th grade Constitution class….
Comment by countyline Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 2:55 pm
“Brrr. I could go for some of Pajama Boy’s hot cocoa right about now.”
Comment by Curmudgeon Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:01 pm
- Tommydanger -,
Very well done.
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:06 pm
Minimum wage? I thought this fracking gig was $11.50 plus a cold weather bonus!
Comment by zatoichi Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:23 pm
“We won’t grow up. Not a fraction of an inch.”
Comment by walkinfool Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:29 pm
@ Skilicorn: “Polution (sic) sucks, but responsibly harvesting Nat gas is best solution for our energy needs”
You know why these two elves have such a ticked off/bored with it all look on their faces?
Because no matter how hard they’ve tried to warn people it’s just not sinking in. Your comment is a good case in point.
While “responsibly harvesting” anything (including natural gas) sounds like a great idea the problem is there is NO way to “responsibly” harvest natural gas. Independent studies have shown that upwards of 5-7% of new wellbores in just Alberta, Can. leak methane directly into the atmosphere. By sheer tonnage that’s an order of magnitude greater than any ‘natural’ NG leakage (no pun intended).
The stats are estimated to grow to 30-50% of older wellbores leaking.
So, yeah, pollution sucks. Amazingly, wind turbines and solar panels don’t leak any methane or produce any pollution once installed. Go figure.
Comment by A. Nonymous Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:30 pm
OW: Many thanks and a Merry Christmas to you!
Comment by Tommydanger Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:30 pm
And to you and yours, - Tommydanger -
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:32 pm
“We are delivering this rig today because if Governor Quinn and the other people that have opened up our state to fracking…”
The biggest misconstrual of 2013 is the notion that the bill signed by Quinn “allows” fracking in southern IL. Fracking was always allowed in IL The bill signed by Quinn put further restrictions on the practice.
This false notion has been proffered by Rich, fracktivist, and industry alike. Forgotten is that fracking was already legal before the signing of the bill, and the bill itself actually made it illegal until rules are adopted.
Comment by Hamilton Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:38 pm
Frack the lawns with rigs for Pat Quinn
Fa la la la la, la la la la
‘Tis the season to be drillin’
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now, our elfin’ apparel
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
To oppose the shafts, and protest full barrels
Fa la la la la, la la la la
See the Mighty ruler before us
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Praise and join the environmental chorus
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Yet also seek the buried treasure
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Having it both ways – his greatest pleasure!
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Fast away our objection passes
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Our protest audience only Cap Fax masses
Fa la la la la, la la la la
What a stupid idea, these suits in this weather
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
Frack the rig, let’s get a drink together
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Comment by Former Titan Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 3:38 pm
- Former Titan -,
Musical gold.
“Caption?”
“I want to be a Dentist, not a Fracking Elf”
Comment by Oswego Willy Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 4:29 pm
“I wish this was a real well. At least then we could burn off some gas to keep warm!”
Comment by RNUG Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 4:34 pm
“too bad we didn’t put it on the other lawn and drill down to the stem tunnel”
Comment by RNUG Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 4:34 pm
“steam”
Comment by RNUG Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 4:35 pm
===Keep your head buried in that sand, Rich, but don’t be so sure people in Forby’s district don’t have something similar planned.===
If you subscribed, you’d know that I polled southern Illinoisans recently on this issue and they ain’t all with you.
And silly little actions like today’s will not stop what is coming. Luddites always lose.
Comment by Rich Miller Monday, Dec 23, 13 @ 4:42 pm