Latest Post | Last 10 Posts | Archives
Previous Post: SUBSCRIBERS ONLY - Supplement to today’s edition
Next Post: Derrick Smith and MJM
Posted in:
* Revered commenter OneMan sent along this Tweet and suggested I add a difficulty factor: No Banjo references.
Have at it…
In Murphysboro today to promote free summer lunches in IL. Find out if there's one near you: http://t.co/cGQbRvaKdV pic.twitter.com/ovwA9rHg38
— Sheila Simon (@SheilaSimonIL) June 16, 2014
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:01 am
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
Previous Post: SUBSCRIBERS ONLY - Supplement to today’s edition
Next Post: Derrick Smith and MJM
WordPress Mobile Edition available at alexking.org.
powered by WordPress.
Kids, there are no free lunches
Comment by bigred1955 Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:02 am
“Remember, loyalty of the most important trait you can have in friendship. The last thing you want to be known as, kids, is a disloyal person…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:03 am
So you fill in when Governor Quinn is out of town right? That is what that nice lady who brought us pizza last week told us…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:04 am
“No, I really have nowhere to be, and have nothing to do after this…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:04 am
Little known responsibility of the Lt. Governor deciding who gets chicken nuggets and who doesn’t…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:06 am
“I could have used you three when I needed signatures last fall.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:06 am
Although she won’t begin work until January, new Murphysboro teacher’s aide Sheila Simon took some time off from her current job to introduce herself to her future students recently.
Comment by Old Guy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:07 am
“And if you pull your pleated pants up past your belly button it’s difficult to tell that you have had eaten too much free lunch.”
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:08 am
We’re out of hot dogs, can I interest you in the bologna special?
Comment by lake county democrat Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:08 am
Anyone who ever said there’s no such thing as a free lunch has never been Lt. Governor of Illinois.
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:09 am
“You thought this was free? Now, for the next 45 minutes, why you should convince your parents to vote for me, sans the musical accompaniment.”
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:09 am
No, no. My name is not Judy Baar Topinka. I am the other woman.
Comment by MrGrassroots Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:11 am
No, I am not in a Beatles Tribute band.
Comment by John A Logan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:12 am
“Yes, children, I’m certain that Lt. Governor is a more important job than Lunch Lady. Fine, don’t believe me.”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:12 am
Don’t move when I say, “Go get your lunch.” You have to wait until I say, “Simon says go get your lunch.” Got it?
Comment by The End Is Near Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:13 am
- The End Is Near -, well played!
“Daughter of a well known pol, statewide office holder, yeah, but I am not Lisa, my name is Sheila…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:17 am
(to girl with braids) “You know, I can see you inching away from the young man next to you. But don’t run away just yet - remember, your best friend might change her mind about running for student council president. And then where will you be?”
Comment by Robert the Bruce Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:19 am
“Did you know python tastes just like chicken?”
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:20 am
“You kids know anybody who’s hiring?”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM (@MisterJayEm) Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:24 am
Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Orange Whip? Three Orange Whips.
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:27 am
Anyone here need a running mate?
Comment by Plutocrat03 Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:28 am
“Oh, good question….that reference to “one near you” in the photo caption is not a reference to a free lunch program, but a reference to the one single lunch near you three children.”
Comment by anonymoose Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:31 am
I care more than your parents, vote for me.
Comment by Liberty Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:33 am
“I’m campaigning in Murphysboro today because it was as far as I could get by bicycle.”
Comment by ILPundit Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:33 am
“Lt. Governor, what are your duties at these events?”
“I’d like to thank Candidate Rauner for donating his chickens. I actually had to kill them and prepare the meals. Anything for the kids.”
Comment by Grandson of Man Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:35 am
hey are you kids familiar with the same day registration law we just passed? I want to encourage you to take advantage of that on Election Day.
Comment by hot chocolate Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:35 am
No clever comments needed.
These are good programs. But her web link is not very helpful.
Comment by sal-says Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:36 am
You’re not Scott Lee Cohen!
Comment by Jose Abreu's next homer Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:38 am
Thank you for coming to this fundraising dinner…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:39 am
“Since Gov. Quinn isn’t here, as lieutenant governor, I’ll be making the hard decisions today. And I decide — pudding cups.”-
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:40 am
Lieutenant Governor Sheila Simon speaks to the largest crowd to ever gather for a campaign event she’s held so far.
Comment by hot chocolate Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:42 am
“Why yes! I did buy my pants at the Pants Past My Belly Button store!”
Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:42 am
Well done wordslinger, but the really hard decision is what kind of pudding.
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:42 am
Garfunkeled
Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:46 am
“Lt. Gov, you’re limping. Did you fall?”
“Yes, I actually slipped and fell this morning. Do you think I can get anything from the U.S. Dept. of Agriculture?”
Comment by Grandson of Man Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:46 am
Tell your dad that Judy Baar Topinka is not a shoo-in.
Comment by MrGrassroots Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:46 am
“The key to success is coattails, kids. Coattails.”
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:48 am
“Judy? My name is NOT Judy! NO soup for you!”
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:49 am
How nice for Evelyn Sanguinetti to make the hard decisions when the governor is away. I was told the same thing, but trust me, she will find out the hard way. Promises, promises, promises.
Comment by MrGrassroots Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:53 am
“And let’s not forget to thank the man in the hair net for helping serve! OK kids! All together now - Thank you Former Governor Ryan!”
“And let’s hear it for the man wearing two hair nets in the orange jump suit! Thank you Former Governor Blagojevich!”
“And let’s hear it for the guy who donated those mink capes, moose heads and Michael Jackson rock stuff to help pay for your lunches! Thank you Former Congressman Jesse Jackson Junior!”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:53 am
“So none of you are that cupcake kid? What am I doing here? I’m like the only one not on the cupcake train…”
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:54 am
What do you mean “no music class?” “My music defines me…except for today”.
Comment by A guy... Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:55 am
You might be able to read about my dad in your history books. Not sure if I’ll get a footnote or not.
Comment by A guy... Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:56 am
“No - we can’t do that. There is no prayers before this lunch. That would be against the law. BUT! We can all hold hands and tell everyone something that makes us happy!”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:56 am
“Sorry, this is a First Lady lunch program. So, who wants more boiled twine and lawn clippings?”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 9:58 am
Ok, you remember this nursery rhyme, don’t you? Repeat after me:
Simple Simon met a Quinnman,
While looking for a trail;
Says Simple Simon to the Quinnman,
Let me ride your tail.
Says the Quinnman to Simple Simon,
Show me first your loyalty;
Says Simple Simon to the Quinnman,
Indeed I have not any.
Comment by dupage dan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:00 am
“No - you have to eat that.
We can’t let you throw anything away.
No - I won’t eat it either.
No - I don’t know what it is either.
Nobody told you this was going to be a Happy Meal. This is a government lunch.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:00 am
“The cottage cheese is the gray oozy stuff.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:02 am
Well, I wake up around 10am and practice my banjo for an hour, then I go to a free lunch somewhere and then I’m usually heading home by 2 or 230 PM. I’m telling you kids, everyone should grow up and be a Lt. Governor. It’s swell.
Comment by GrandOleOpry Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:07 am
You have had your 2 bites now pass the tray over to the other kids.
Comment by Rob Roy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:07 am
“Who wants to hear me play an instrument?
No - No! I can’t tell you what it is!
Can anyone tell me what instrument this is?
Yes? You can? What?
No - it isn’t a guitar, but you are close!
OK - you?
No - it isn’t a drum, it has strings on it! Good try!
How about you, sweetie?
That’s right!
You don’t like the sound it makes?”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:07 am
“No, all my pants were in the wash, so I had to wear the cover for my musical instrument.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:09 am
“Clean your plate, grow up big and strong, and then you can go down to 17th Street for BBQ & Beer”
Comment by x ace Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:10 am
“No, I don’t think corn rows would be a good look for me.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:11 am
See kids, this is an example of what will happen if the Republicans take over. Due to drastic budget cuts, only 1 out of 3 of you will get to eat lunch so that we can pay for tax cuts. Now, who wants more tuna loaf?
Comment by Downstate Weed Chewing Hick Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:11 am
“Okay, who can tell me what the Lt. governor does? Anybody? ‘Cause I’ve been wondering myself.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:13 am
Is she still behind me?
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:14 am
“How did we come up with the name Loose Gravel? Well, the name 5 People Wearing Geezer Pants was already taken.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:15 am
“Kids - please try the little chips.
You’ll like it!
It has lots of minerals and vitamins in it that we all need to be healthy! You want to be healthy don’t you?
Its gluten free!
It has all the fiber you need for the day!
It is free from peanuts!
It was free ranged!
It is cholesterol-free!
It is also dolphin-free!
It has no trans-fats in it!
It is locally produced too!
It is organic!
There are no red dye number two in them!
It is low in salt!
There are no growth hormones in it!
It is cruelty free!
It was picked by people earning a good wage!
Who are differently abled!
Who live an alternative lifestyle!
Who used to be in prison!
No - I haven’t the faintest idea what they are, but you really ought to try them because there isn’t anything we can find wrong with them.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:20 am
“What are you calling “gulag cuisine”, Miss I-Wanna-Free-Lunch?”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:23 am
“Has anyone washed their hands?”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:27 am
Lt. Governor Sheila Simon stars in “Him” — the much anticipated sequel to the acclaimed Spike Jonze hit.
Comment by Mittuns Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:28 am
The Pants Are Too Damn High.
Comment by Mittuns Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:29 am
“Don’t use your hands!
Use your fork.
Doesn’t work with a fork?
Use your spoon.
Too heavy for a spoon?
OK - then use your hands.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:30 am
“You kids have no idea how good you have it. When I was your age, my father had to run for office over and over again for free food.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:34 am
“Anyone who doesn’t eat their lunch, has to hear me play music Justin Bieber didn’t make famous.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:35 am
“I don’t care how big you are, you only get one lunch, Mr. Plummer.”
Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:38 am
Don’t let this happen to you! out for an improtant politic event? Use Garanimals new adult professional line to match up your outfit.
Comment by Ghost Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:45 am
“Next year kids, it will be free clothing.”
Comment by Steve Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:45 am
“I will gladly vote for you Tuesday for a cheeseburger today!”
Comment by BW Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:07 am
“My Dad was Paul Simon…..blah, blah, blah,….and my Dad, PaulSimon….blah, blah, blah, ….and then my Dad Paul Simon…….
Kids: (”And I thought Geography was boring…..)
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:27 am
These young people don’t know who my dad is? We have to get a bill to start teaching kids about former US Senators who have children running for office…
I will call it
The No Child Not Knowing My Primary Qualification Act
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:45 am
“Well, yes, there WERE several times when Republican bullies would spin his bow tie around.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:47 am
Kid w/fork: ‘You two talk with her. If I say something she will stay longer.’
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:48 am
“No, I’m afraid T-bones are not on the menu today. You’ll have to sneak into the Republican dining room for that.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:49 am
“I don’t remember how much my wrist watch cost, but I’m pretty sure it was less than $17.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 11:50 am
“See, like we budget in Illinois, this is a balanced lunch . . . for the whole table.”
Comment by Alexander Cut the Knot Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 12:00 pm
“You’ve heard of my Dad, Paul Simon? Really? Get Out! …No, he didn’t run for President with Art Gillfinkle.”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 12:03 pm
No…..not a violin….
Comment by A guy... Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 12:16 pm
The Governor will be by next week with cupcakes…
Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 12:17 pm
Hi Ya’ All, where I am from they make Meth, I mean they teach Math.
Comment by DownState Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 12:56 pm
- OneMan -, well done with the photo, tins of creative captions.
“Caption?”
“That’s ‘Simple Simon’ the Pie Man. I’m Sheila, this is breakfast…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 1:05 pm
No, I don’t play the accordion and I never did the polka with the governor.
Comment by northshore ciynic Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 2:14 pm
Yes, ketchup is a vegetable.
Comment by Lobo Y Olla Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 3:45 pm
Lt. Gov. Simon tells children participants in the Program, “Yes, kids, I just had MY free lunch, too! And wow it WAS good, wasn’t it! Well, um, what I MEAN is that I did EAT the lunch, but I REALLY didn’t have it for FREE, ha ha…um, I know, um–tell your Teacher who SAW me eating it that I will be paying the State of Illinois for it, ya know, ok (?), like tell her I’ll be tellin’ them to take a few dollars off of my next paycheck or somethin,’ok?…ha ha ha. Gotta go now. Bye!” (as she quickly exits the Premises)….
Comment by Just The Way It Is One Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:25 pm
This is what will happen under the Quinn Education Budget–one will get a good education and order the Happy Meal and the other two will say “Do you want to supersize that?”
Comment by SamHall Wednesday, Jun 18, 14 @ 10:53 pm