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Reports of my impending demise are greatly exaggerated

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Caption?

posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:03 pm

Comments

Wow.

Rauner won.

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:04 pm
How can it be the last lap when you never even did the first?

Comment by Juice Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:05 pm
Rich - you sure that 50 Cent didn’t take you out?!

Comment by Team Sleep Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:06 pm
If it was really you it would have been Rich Miller Last Call.

Comment by The Colossus of Roads Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:10 pm
Can you see your lap?

Comment by Casual Observer Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:11 pm
My first thought was they were insulting your girth. But you look marvelous.

Comment by Norseman Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:12 pm
Well your last lap was won by Dandy’s Beauty…

Comment by OneMan Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:17 pm
Mike Z: Rich… Lance… the boss says he’ll watch Rich ride the horse from the Skybox. He says for you to go on ahead and watch Rich down here.

Rich: He can’t do that; that screws up the race and fun.

Lance: Well, that’s what he said.

Mike Z: I can’t ride in the race either, Rich.

Rich: [to Mike Z] Tell Bruce it was only business. I always liked him.

Mike Z: He understands that.

Lance: [removing Rich’s hidden cannoli] Excuse me, Rich.

Rich : Can you get me off the hook, Z? For old times’ sake?

Mike Z: [shakes his head] Can’t do it, Rich.

[Z watches sadly as Rich is led by Lance and the others to the starting gate and his horse for his last lap.]

Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:18 pm
Photo caption from Rich’s visit to Chicago to find out why Ed Burke did not have the gentlemen’s club vote.

Comment by Amalia Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:22 pm
Dan Walker, Verne Gagne, Susy Crogh, and now Rich Miller?!

Comment by Upon Further Review Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:28 pm
“Rich Miller’s Last Lap”, the heartbreaking movie about the life of blogger Rich Miller who didn’t drink the Rauner brand Kool-Aid which contained the only antidote to the poisonous gas which was Working its way Right down To the end of Illinois.

Comment by former southerner Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:29 pm
Line starts with bachelor party. Maybe they left off the word “dance”?

Comment by a drop in Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:29 pm
At least they spelled your name right.

Comment by BehindTheScenes Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:30 pm
Wow
First someone shows up on Facebook with a new born
Now this
Yikes!

Comment by Anonin' Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:30 pm
===First someone shows up on Facebook with a new born===

LOL

Not mine, not mine, not mine.

Heh.

Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:35 pm
“Nothing hurts as much as you think it will. You go numb… then you wrap your belt around your wrist and get to the nearest hospital.”

Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:44 pm
They left out the last word… which was obviously, “dance.” It is a bachelor party after all.

Comment by Ducky LaMoore Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:48 pm
I guess it’s an honor to have a horse named after you, but if said horse looks like he’s on his last lap, well…

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:50 pm
Typos. Maybe supposed to be “Last Lap For Last Place Finishers”.

…or “Last Call For Last Place Finishers”.

There is a “Last Place” beer. Link: http://www.bluetarpbrew.com/beers/

Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:51 pm
You see Arlington’s Opening Day card. For a three day week, 8 races, the first 4 with 6 horses. ‘Last lap’ means for all horse racing in Illinois.

Comment by DE Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 1:51 pm
A typo - it was supposed to read:

“Rich Miller’s Last Lap Dance“

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:07 pm
You’ve seen him run, set aside a lot of extra time.

Comment by A guy Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:17 pm
“You’ve seen him run, set aside a lot of extra time.”
————–

If it’s a Pub Crawl, he moves faster….

Comment by Judgment Day Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:18 pm
Overheard at Rich Miller’s Last Lap: Bet Starry Hope across the board.

Comment by Former Titan Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:28 pm
If you put a drink in front of him he will run a lot faster!!

Comment by He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:49 pm
“Olsick Bachelor Party”. Is that how you feel AFTER you wake up married?

Comment by Nick Naylor Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:51 pm
Two words: Artificial inspiration, Cholly.

Comment by Nick Naylor Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 2:54 pm
Forget the hearse cause I’ll never die.

Comment by Cabildero Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 3:03 pm
“Not mine, not mine, not mine.”

That’s right You have been busy forcin’ some poor intern into countin’ Mike Madigan votes — groundbreakin’ journalism ain’t what is used to be

Comment by Anonin' Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 3:13 pm
The least we could do is give him a little time on the Stud Farm before sending him to the Glue Factory.

Just don’t tell the mares.

Comment by A guy Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 3:57 pm
“Place it on Lucky Dan.”

Comment by Hedley Lamarr Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 4:07 pm
Rich

I predict that Danzig Moon will win the Triple Crown this year.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 5:19 pm
Reminds me of the time several years ago when State Sen. Sam Vadalabene (Edwardsville) was at Fairmount Park racetrack to watch a horse named Senator Sam owned by a friend race. Before the race Sen. Sam (the politician) after a few beers decided he wanted to be the jockey for Sen. Sam (the horse) but was eventually persuaded that was not possible (although he was diminutive enough to be a jockey). The horse was just one of many namesakes for the senator along with buildings, streets, bike paths,etc. As I recall although Sen. Sam the politician never lost an election, Sen. Sam the horse never won a race (perhaps if Sen. Sam had been allowed to ride him maybe he would have). So maybe someday Rich Miller will get to ride Rich Miller

Comment by Hawkeye in Illinois Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 7:30 pm
“With low bets like these, how can you lose?”
“Rich Miller, renowned harness race driver, hangs up his beard.”
Cut off from the program, is a request from Balmoral for customers to contact their legislators to allow installation of mechanical slot machines to compete with all of the illegal casinos.

Comment by Vote Quimby! Wednesday, Apr 29, 15 @ 10:37 pm
===busy forcin’ some poor intern into countin’ Mike Madigan votes===

LOL

Those are my most talked-about stories at the Statehouse, and you know it.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:57 am