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* From yesterday’s House floor debate…
posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:21 am
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(Thinking) I can’t believe it. Rauner’s gonna do it to me again…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:23 am
(Thinking) Ok Ron, stop your hooting…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:24 am
We’ve got the Speaker right where he wants us.
Comment by Are Ya Kiddin' Me? Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:24 am
I guess negative G-forces can plant you back into your chair
Comment by No matter where you go Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am
Channeling troubled rapper DMX
“Y’all gon make me loose my mind, up in here, up in here”…
Comment by anon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am
(Thinking) Remember, it’s for the $20 million, it’s for the $20 million…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am
I should have been a judge.
Comment by Ethos Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am
No, or Present? I think Present. Who doesn’t like Presents?
Comment by PublicServant Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am
Wake me when Lang finishes.
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am
(Thinking) maybe… Attorney General in 2018…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am
Only 3 more weeks of session and my transition to jabba the hut will be complete.
Comment by relocated Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am
71 bottles of beer on the wall, 71 bottles of beer..
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am
(Thinking) “$&@#% Tom Cross…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am
MRW you remember you left the oven on.
Comment by NIU Grad Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am
I was supposed to be in Disneyworld this week.
Comment by Stones Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am
(Thinking) I’ll never get to push that “green” button…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am
Who would have thought that losing the US Senate seat would be the highlight of my career.
Comment by Red Dog Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am
Calgon,take me away…
Comment by Shermanite Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am
(Thinking) What would Daniels do?
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am
“He won’t let the best bill out of committee. Maybe I should just give it to Jack Franks to run, and see if that will move it.”
Comment by walker Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am
I know I’m supposed to be a leader, but being a pawn is beginning to make my blood boil. Hope my head doesn’t burst.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am
“Note to self - make dental appointment. That right lower molar is starting to give me problems.”
Comment by Bogey Golfer Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:30 am
I told them Thats not a Buick.
Comment by A Citizen Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:30 am
“What’s it like to think independently?”
Comment by Precinct Captain Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:31 am
How did I end up with the worst job in Springfield?
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:31 am
Is all this worth $10,000? I think I’ll need another check…
Comment by Wensicia Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:32 am
….thought cloud….I wonder how it would have been with a Governor Dillard.
Comment by DuPage Don Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am
But I don’t wanna participate in the governing process!
Comment by Mittuns Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am
(Thinking) … and we had to sit still and take it…
(h/t - 47th Ward- the other day)
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am
I can’t believe I get paid for doing this. Is this a great country or what?
Comment by Casual Observer Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am
Of all the caption contests in the world, I had to stumble into this one.
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am
I coulda been a contenda.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am
(Thinking) … and while I’m here, I bet Cross and Willy are golfing. Again. …
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am
Can I at least get a kiss?
Comment by Michael Westen Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am
Did I forget to put the cat out? I forgot to put the cat out.
Comment by Name Withheld Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am
I don’t sweat you Mikie.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am
Why did I want this job again? Hey Poe you want to switch?
Comment by Mason born Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am
“Maybe if I sit very, very still and don’t make eye-contact…”
– MrJM
Comment by @MisterJayEm Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am
Why does everyone on the other side sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher?
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am
For he’s a jowly good fellow.
Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:37 am
(Floor Phone is ringing, Durkin thinks) I know Bruce, I know… You don’t have to keep calling… “No Green”… (Phone stops ringing, pause, starts ringing again)… (Sigh)
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:37 am
Thinking The seamstress was about an inch short on my collar line measurement.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:38 am
Why me, Lord?
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am
“I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… Hello?… hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota…”
Comment by Luggie Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am
(Thinking) We let a stranger in our house…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am
Someone should tell Willy that texting while driving a golf cart is still dangerous. As soon as we get a damn budget, I’m filing “Willy’s Law”
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:40 am
What’s with that mole on my shoulder? I should check WebMD. I need to get that checked out. I probably have skin cancer, yep, I have skin cancer. I wonder if it is too late to get the tuna fish, not really in the mood for soup. My Groupon for teeth whitening expires this weekend, better make my appointment. Did Billy Joel ever figure out who started the fire? I need a nap.
Comment by Mittuns Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:40 am
How do I backtrack on my pledge: No tax increase?
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am
Things used to be more fun around here. But, alas that was a chin ago.
Comment by A guy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am
It’s a beautiful life.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am
…Auditor General…10 year term…
Comment by Midstate Indy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am
Minions, in theaters Friday.
Comment by Mittuns Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am
What could I have done differently? This team player / lending crap is for the birds.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am
This isn’t governing.
This isn’t what I ran for.
This isn’t how I want to spend summer.
This isn’t the budget we need.
This isn’t happiness.
This isn’t a democracy anymore.
This is what happens when you agree with someone.
These aren’t the droids I was looking for.
These aren’t my pants.
This isn’t what it looks like.
This isn’t Russia.
This isn’t my party.
This isn’t even yoga.
This isn’t my coffee.
This isn’t a cluster - wait, yeah it is.
This isn’t Greece - just Greek-ish.
This isn’t my desk - who is that?
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:43 am
I m stuck here while I could be making rain and getting billable hours.
Comment by Austin Blvd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:44 am
Look at me over here chillin’
Comment by Levois Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:50 am
I really hope the Speaker doesn’t get mad again.
Comment by QuidditchLover1997 Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:56 am
Jim Durkin or Jim Derpin?
Comment by QuidditchLover1997 Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:57 am
If I have to suppress this yawn much longer, I’m gonna die… and no one will notice…
Comment by downstate commissioner Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:58 am
Lets see … I was first elected in 1995; 2015 minus 2005 = 20 years ago. You max out at 85% pension at 20 years. I wish GARS would hurry up and get back to me with that pension estimate …
Comment by RNUG Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:09 pm
OOps .. should have read 2015 - 1995
Comment by RNUG Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:10 pm
“When does this roller coaster stop? Great lighting effects though with all the pretty red and green lights.”
Comment by A Jack Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:11 pm
Totally worth it
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:18 pm
Warp 9, Mr. Sulu!
Comment by Gantt Chart Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:20 pm
I can’t wait for vacation
Comment by 4 percent Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:23 pm
If he signs this one I’ll freak….
Comment by Wordslinger Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:26 pm
Hmmm…Sandack does sound a bit like Terry Parke… Take me now, Lord…!
Comment by Jim Nelson Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:32 pm
“I think I’ll have Nick Nolte play me in the movie “Useless in Springfield”
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:33 pm
Is my face turning blue yet?
Comment by ihpsdm Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:38 pm
“I should’ve listened to Team Sleep. Saputo’s really isn’t that good.”
Comment by Team Sleep Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:38 pm
My older brother got a federal judgeship and all I got was this super-minority caucus.
Comment by too obvious Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:44 pm
If I threw some stuff around right now could I get a ticket to Congress too?
Comment by too obvious Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:47 pm
I can do this….I can do this….
Comment by Sunshine Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:49 pm
Rauner: “OK, Jim. Now tell them that you’re going to sit there and hold your breath until they give you what I want.”
Comment by Southside Markie Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:54 pm
(Thinking) I came back… to the Illinois House… for this.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:57 pm
(Thinking) I miss Joe Lyons in the Chair…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:59 pm
(Thinking) Welp, I could always primary Christine…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:02 pm
I swear, if there is ONE MORE ‘U-TURN’, I’m gonna vote MY WAY next time….
Comment by How Ironic Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:06 pm
(Thinking) I wish there was a caption contest to lift my spirits…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:06 pm
(Thinking) Is Lee’s picture hung straight… Like a bit… Nah, it’s the shadow
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:29 pm
“Leader Durkin, as I recall, you were once a committee chair under Speaker Madigan. We’re. You. Not!?!?!?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:31 pm
(Thinking) Oh Geez, it’s Goldberg…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:34 pm
RNUG-well played, sir.
Caption: “I don’t know if I can hold on for med-mar any more!”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:36 pm
(If I find that page who put Super Glue on the back of my chair…)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:37 pm
And now, my impression of Drew Carey before he lost weight…
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:38 pm
(Thinking) Oh geez, Christine is going to haveta vote in this again…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:40 pm
(Thinking) Don’t tempt me McSweeney, I may walk away…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:42 pm
Why me?
Comment by NewWestSuburbanGOP'er Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:43 pm
(Thinking) I can’t believe it, but I wish I was Jack Franks…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:43 pm
(Thinking) Anyone get the license plate of that Amendment that ran us over? Ugh.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm
Damn. . . Bruce told me to “sit tight” but I really have to go to the bathroom!
Comment by Suburban Dad Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm
(earworm)
Goodbye Mrs. Durkin, I’m sick and tired of working…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5Mdk2gAJpM
Comment by Bee Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm
(Thinking) Why can’t we make easy votes… like SSM or Conceal Carry anyone…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:48 pm
Oswego Willy, you are proving what I’ve posted once before: You have way, way, way too much time on your hands. You must be a legislative analyst.
Comment by DuPage Don Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:50 pm
- DuPage Don -
Nope, I actually work for Lt. Governor Evelyn Sanguinetti…
Same thing.
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:53 pm
(Thinking) Can’t Bruce get one victory, just for my sake…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:55 pm
Thinking about deals with the devil.
You dance with the devil, the devil doesn’t change, the devil changes you.
Comment by efudd Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:03 pm
(”All the girls crazy for a sharp dressed man…yeah, that’s me. Darn tootin’”)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:06 pm
(Hipster glasses, she said. You’d look cool in hipster glasses. I don’t know. Me? Cool? Was that somebody laughing at me? No, no, I guess it was just somebody snoring. Well, maybe I DO look cool. Darn straight.)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:08 pm
DD I was thinking the same thing…..job anyone? Or to use a Caddy Shack quote, “don’t you people have homes”.
Comment by Not in the Know Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:09 pm
(Ant Man. That should be good. But that new Terminator was a disappointment. How the heck old IS Arnold now, anyway? Did the sign language lady just give me a Vulcan salute? No. Maybe not.)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:11 pm
(That chandelier is SO dusty.)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:13 pm
Bruce said…bite tongue…harder!
Comment by Anonymous Redux Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:15 pm
(Thinking) Can. We. Just. Vote already…
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:17 pm
i knew it was going to be a bad day when all I had left to wear for tie’s was the one quinn gave me,…. man I miss Quinn, what the heck.
Comment by hmmm Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:19 pm
(I wonder if it’s true that Catherine Kelly went to Rockome Gardens on her honeymoon?)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:23 pm
(Is that Kim Kardashian up in the gallery?)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:26 pm
(I wonder what it would be like to have a REAL job?)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:29 pm
(I don’t remember who taught me how to paint eyes on my eyelids, but man, what a swell trick. Dreamland, here I come!)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:30 pm
Thank God I’m A Legislator - Denver, enhanced by VanillaMan
Well, life in this place should be laid back
But during budget time, I’m just a political hack
They’ll tell you when to vote - don’t know jack
Thank God, I’m A Legislator
Well a simple kinda vote never did me no harm
I’m a little mushroom on this little mushroom farm
My days are filled, snoozing through every alarm
Thank God I’m a Legislator
When the budget deadlines past and the funds are zero
I pull in my head, and under my desk, I go
I’m just a sheep, so I keep it kinda low
Thank God I’m a Legislator
I’d play with your money all day if I could
But my voters and my wife would think I’m a hood
So I “grant” when I can, forget when I should
Thank God, I’m a Legislator
Well, I got me a district, finding it is a riddle
With these votes comin’ up I got to stay in the middle
Our coalition is very, very brittle
Thank God I’m A Legislator
Well I wouldn’t trade my vote, for favors or cash
I got a pension, benefits, and a campaign stash
But then you never know when your career is gonna crash
Thank God I’m a Legislator
Yeah, the governor is riding in a black limousine
A lotta union people thinkin’ he’s mighty mean
Son, let me tell you, Rauner is politically extreme
I thank God I’m a Legislator
Well, I got me a fine seat, got it from my father
Get elected without a fuss, campaigning is a bother
Last thing I need is a budget that’s getting hotter
Thank God I’m a Legislator
Well, this office was my daddy’s til the day he died
And he took me by the hand and held me close to his side
He said… ‘Smile a whole lot, and they’ll probably let you slide’
And thank God you’re a Legislator”
My daddy taught me young how to campaign and how to vote
He taught me how to speak off the cuff, to avoid a quote
Taught me how to leave my voting key, with a note Thank God I’m a Legislator
Well, I got me a fine staff, filled with free interns
When the primaries are done, we face the midterms
We promise anything until our conscience burns
Thank God I’m a Legislator!
Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:41 pm
Th th this ma ma ma massage ch chair is f f fantastic.
Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:46 pm
47th, that was pretty darned funny.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:47 pm
“But one of you… One… one ate the Frozen Strawberries…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:48 pm
Key West….here. Hmmmmm.
Comment by zatoichi Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:07 pm
I would kill him but…
Comment by Mama Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:26 pm
I gave up my vacation for this circus???
Comment by Mama Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:27 pm
Leader Durkin,
You’re a good sport, and a good guy. I wish you the best as always.
OW
Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:34 pm
“Cubs-Sox game is on. Had a chance to go but had to pass. Sitting here listening to this @$$%%^ instead.”
Comment by Bogey Golfer Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:36 pm
“Need to start buying shirts with a larger neck size. This one’s choking me.”
Comment by Bogey Golfer Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:38 pm
Mama, normally I delete comments with violent imagery.
However, yours made me laugh so hard I just couldn’t do it.
Even so, warning to everyone else, that was the exception which proves the rule.
Thanks.
lol
(Still laughing for some reason.)
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:40 pm
If I were Speaker, yes I was Speaker, I’d be pretty and witty and
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:43 pm
Where is Bost when you need him. Set my caucus free!
Comment by Anonymous Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:46 pm
I hate to jinx it, but this was the funniest caption contests we’ve had in a while.
And I just exchanged text messages with Leader Durkin. He took it quite well and said it was some funny, um, stuff.
Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:56 pm
medmar medshmar, we going to need some much stroger stuff legal if I got three more years of this
Comment by wow Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:08 pm
=====Only 3 more weeks of session and my transition to jabba the hut will be complete.====== Completely slayed me! What a way to end my Friday. I’m actually sweating from laughing so hard.. lord jesus!
Comment by Justice Torch Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:19 pm