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• Illinois

* Speaker Madigan whispers to his chief of staff Tim Mapes at Democrat Day…

posted by Rich Miller
Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 9:53 am

Comments

1. “You think anyone will notice my pants are an inch higher than last year?”

   Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 9:55 am

2. Um, psst where’s the crowd? I’m starting to think Rauner paid them to stay away, this isn’t cool you know.

   Comment by bloval27 Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 9:55 am

3. Hey Timmy, how’s your retirement plan? Mine’s looking sweeter than a state fair caramel apple.

   Comment by Nick Danger Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 9:58 am

4. “We agreed on green this year, we talked about this.”

   Comment by The Captain Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:00 am

5. “Couldn’t we find a smaller… lawn?”

   Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:01 am

6. “If you’re with me, you’ll pull up those pants mister.”

   Comment by chi Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:01 am

7. If they try to eat, we’ll tax the feed, if they try to drive, we’ll tax the street, if the beer gets warm, I’ll tax the ice….. CAUSE I’M THE TAXMANNNNN, YEAH YEAH, the TAXMAAAAAAAA…AAANNNN

   Comment by Arizona Bob Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:02 am

8. “Where’s Franks…”

   Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:03 am

9. “Don’t look now, but you’ve got my 8 by 10 glossies stuck in your armpit.”

   Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:04 am

10. “I have ice water in my veins.”

    Comment by illinoised Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:05 am

11. “Tim. It’s Apple time. Where’s my apple?”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:05 am

12. “How am I looking for the ‘Skinniest Politician Contest’?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:05 am

13. Get me a list of every Latina cop in the ward.

    Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:05 am

14. “Wanna bet I can hike my pants up even higher?”

    Comment by KL Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:07 am

15. “What do you call these shirts again?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:07 am

16. “They’re asking ME for autographs and YOU’RE wearing sunglasses? What up with that?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:08 am

17. “Keep an eye peeled for Raunerbots.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:09 am

18. “Hate to break this to you but your hat doesn’t match your shirt. You’ll probably be on “What Not To Wear” next.”

    Comment by OurMagician Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:09 am

19. Timmy, I need an Apple Ale from the beer tent.

    Comment by Mama Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:10 am

20. “Is that a basket of apples in the back of Miller’s golf cart? Go get me one!”

    Comment by Wensicia Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:10 am

21. “I know it draws a crowd, but stop telling people you’re Sully Sullenberger.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:11 am

22. Let’s rethink this budget strategy thing, we may have lost the people.

    Comment by the old man Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:11 am

23. Get me some suspenders, my pants keep falling down.

    Comment by Not it Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:11 am

24. “Smithers, release the hounds.”

    Comment by 630 Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:11 am

25. Are we in the wrong place at the right time, or the right place at the wrong time?

    Comment by Mama Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:12 am

26. Find out where Miller got that shirt.

    Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:12 am

27. Is that a pledge pin? On your uniform?!?!!?

    Comment by Bluefish Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:13 am

28. SC is on a roll.

    “I don’t want to hear any more excuses, I said to bring the high waisted khakis. These low riders are obscene.”

    Comment by Anonymiss Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:13 am

29. “Can you believe he paid $61 K for that steer? I hope he likes $30 hamburgers!”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:13 am

30. Get me out of here. Now.

    Comment by Langhorne Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:13 am

31. Go get Miller a corn dog, beer and a pack of smokes.

    Comment by Casual Observer Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:14 am

32. That’s right…..Because me!

    Comment by Flynn's mom Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:15 am

33. “Every time I go on that Tilt-a-whirl, it gives me a wedgie.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:15 am

34. Hey Tim, you do know we are in continuous session, right?

    Comment by Jaded Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:16 am

35. You dont sweat like lapaille. That guy—sheesh.

    Comment by Langhorne Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:16 am

36. “Boy, this Mapes mannequin in our ‘Famous Democrats’ display is really lifelike.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:17 am

37. “Damn, Biss is good. Maybe we should have gone with him?”

    Comment by AlabamaShake Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:17 am

38. Tim, why are we here?

    Comment by Joe M Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:18 am

39. ” Hey, Listen , I want somebody good - I mean very good - to plant that ….. “

    Comment by x ace Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:18 am

40. “Ear hair inspection! You fail again!”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:18 am

41. “While I will never admit it, Tim, we both know the castle is crumbling.”

    Comment by BBB Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:19 am

42. Do you think Jesse really means it this time?

    Comment by Casual Observer Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:20 am

43. Tim, lets go home. I feel naked without my suit on.

    Comment by Joe M Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:20 am

44. “I wish I’d brought my shades too. Looking directly at Miller’s shirt hurts my eyes.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:20 am

45. “What, exactly, IS a corn dog, anyway?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:22 am

46. Will you marry me?

    Comment by TronaldDump Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:22 am

47. “That tall fellow keeps staring at me. If he doesn’t stop it, gerrymander him.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:23 am

48. Have someone remove a few chairs to make the crowd look bigger.

    Comment by Sarcastic Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:23 am

49. Now I remember why I skipped this last year.

    Comment by Keyrock Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:24 am

50. “Pull up your pants.”

    Comment by Wordslinger Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:24 am

51. Tim, you need to pull up your pants, they should touch your third rib from the bottom.

    Comment by Ahoy! Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:24 am

52. Come on Tim, lend me a few more bucks so I can go on the Ferris Wheel again.

    Comment by Joe M Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:27 am

53. “The bodies are buried deep, right?”

    Comment by Tom K. Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:28 am

54. Where is Rahm?

    Comment by Mama Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:29 am

55. Maybe we should have rode up on Harleys and wore motorcycle jackets too.

    Comment by Joe M Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:30 am

56. “Write this down: ‘Look into a bill to put video poker in Porta-Potties.’”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:31 am

57. “Tim, ‘Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.’”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:33 am

58. “So, who quit staff this week?”

    Comment by TF Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:33 am

59. “I didn’t get a ‘Harumph’ outta that guy!”

    Comment by Springfieldish Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:33 am

60. Madigan: where are all my friends?
    Mapes: they’re in the front row, sir.

    Comment by Casual Observer Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:33 am

61. You said the kids dig the trousers up high…

    Comment by OneMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:36 am

62. “Then the Duke would lean forward like this and say, ‘I’m not gonna hit you, Pilgrim. I’m not gonna hit you…’”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:36 am

63. Yep. Looks like the earwig Goldberg planted has almost made it through.

    Comment by Bored Chairman Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:36 am

64. “See? I TOLD you we should have worn those plaid shirts from Farm & Fleet!”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:38 am

65. How’s my breath Tim?

    Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:38 am

66. Statler and Waldorf make an appearance at the fair to promote the new Muppet show.

    Comment by OneMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:39 am

67. He is wearing a tie-died t-shirt and riding in a golf cart. Make it happen Mapes!

    Comment by VanillaMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:40 am

68. “Sneak over and let the air out of Miller’s golf cart tires.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:40 am

69. You’re looking very masculine…

    Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:42 am

70. Where are my protestors at?

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:42 am

71. That’s Goldberg with a lip reader

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:43 am

72. Next time you set the staff vacation week….THINK!

    Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:43 am

73. Seriously??? So you’re telling me pleaded pant are no longer in fashion?

    Comment by GOP Extremist Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:45 am

74. Telling the wing man it’s time to fly

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:45 am

75. Put a tracker on the tracker

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:48 am

76. Go throw miller a biscotti

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:51 am

77. Apparently all the people that were here last year WERE here to see Quinn and not me…

    Comment by Button is broke... Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:52 am

78. Where’s your jester outfit?

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:54 am

79. “Do you think it will hurt to take my medication with a lemon shake-up?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:55 am

80. “You said there would be paparazzi. Where are the paparazzi?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:57 am

81. “Don’t move! You’ve got a hornet on your shirt. I’ll call an intern to swat it.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:58 am

82. Who’s that goat-legged fellow? I like the cut of his jib.

    Comment by 47th Ward Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:59 am

83. On the plus side, nobody is going to make me shake hands with Blagojevich this year.

    Comment by Quizzical Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 10:59 am

84. “First thing Monday morning, buy me a pair of those flip-flop things.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:00 am

85. “Did you take Rauner’s Frozen Strawberries, just like I asked?”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:03 am

86. “Shoo those Republicans away from the apple exhibit. I want to get some free samples.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:04 am

87. Thank goodness Jim Harbaugh came through on this emergency pair of khaki slacks! Shirley has been falling behind in the chores while I have been away for continuous session.

    Comment by Common Cents Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:05 am

88. “I believe I have some cow doo-doo on my wingtips.”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:05 am

89. Move to reconsider.

    Comment by walker Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:05 am

90. Release the trolls

    Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:06 am

91. “Do you really think that barbed wire behind us will keep reporters away?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:07 am

92. They tell me the Governor was seen crying Wednesday evening… Amateur!

    Comment by Triple fat Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:08 am

93. “I’ve been asked to judge the prune pie competition. Do you think there’s any hidden meaning behind that?”

    Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:09 am

94. “Are you sure you sent them memo to all the legislators I control?”

    Comment by Concerned Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:10 am

95. Next time, use the crowdsourcing app like I told you, a’ite?

    Comment by Former Titan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:10 am

96. If anyone asks just tell them we had a “moderate” turnout.

    Comment by Casual Observer Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:11 am

97. “Tim, what’s a biscuit eater?”

    Comment by Rich Miller Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:12 am

98. “I’m sorry Speaker but we had all our people here yesterday heckling the Republicans”

    Comment by Empty Suit Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:12 am

99. “I don’t care if you have to pull people off the Ferris wheel get some bodies here pronto”

    Comment by Empty Suit Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:13 am

100. “Of course I’m wearing blue you think I’m color blind”

     Comment by Empty Suit Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:14 am

101. “That boy in the Batman T-shirt called me ‘The Puppetmaster.’ Is that some new super-hero?”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:14 am

102. Where are those people that we were busing in?

     Comment by burbanite Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:16 am

103. “Why did that woman laugh when I told her we’re the Young Turks of the Illinois Democratic Party?”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:17 am

104. “Have you seen my sunglasses?”

     Comment by Cheswick Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:19 am

105. I can’t wait to go see Fallout Boy

     Comment by OneMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:22 am

106. we put the active in active adult.

     Comment by OneMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:24 am

107. Are my pants high enough?

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:25 am

108. Did you catch Styxx Wednesday? They’re still awesome!!!!

     Comment by Bogey Golfer Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:26 am

109. Who says I’m out of touch? Look at us just hanging out here with all the common folk!

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:27 am

110. Great turnout, eh?

     Mr Speaker, have you had your eyes checked lately?

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:28 am

111. “Go grab me a couple handfuls of those Jesse White pencils.”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:30 am

112. “On my signal, unleash Hell.”

     Comment by Tommydanger Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:31 am

113. That Canoe or Old Spice?

     Comment by zatoichi Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:31 am

114. “I like lamp”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:32 am

115. “Glad you wore the blue casual outdoor uniform, Tim.”

     Comment by Georg Sande Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:33 am

116. “Maybe ‘reindoctrination’ is needed for some mushrooms… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:34 am

117. “Tell the Governor when he wants to be an adult… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:35 am

118. “Tell Z that I know how to count to 71… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:35 am

119. “Tell the Governor I didn’t want to do it, but I felt I owed it to him… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:36 am

120. “Don’t look now, but isn’t that woman with the funnel cake Kim Kardashian?”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:36 am

121. “My pocket is vibrating and you’re telling me it’s a cell phone. When did I get one of those?”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:37 am

122. “Look at Goudie, melting in the heat… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:38 am

123. You were suppose to where a green shirt and a hat like mine!! Lose the glasses too!

     Comment by Union Man Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:39 am

124. “I want my golf cart running after I speak. I don’t wabt to be stuck talking… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:40 am

125. “Go up to McQueary, nice and slow, and just say, ‘Looks like rain’… “

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:41 am

126. “I dropped my caramel apple in some straw. Would you mind cleaning it off for me?”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:42 am

127. Go down the giant slide without a sack you said, your pants will not ride up you said….

     Comment by OneMan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:43 am

128. “I bid $3 for a jar of pickles. That counts for something, doesn’t it?”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:44 am

129. Smart move don’t invite anyone then just the trackers show up get there vehicle description later

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:44 am

130. ==Go down the giant slide without a sack you said, your pants will not ride up you said….==

     OneMan, that’s a classic!

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:45 am

131. “Tim, talk to Miller about those Caption Contests. They’re starting to get on my nerves.”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:48 am

132. I know I said I didn’t want an extreme turnout. But we may have taken moderation a bit too far.

     Comment by Keyrock Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:49 am

133. “Go tell Goldberg, off the record, I love his letters, you know, unofficially.”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:49 am

134. Where are all the paid mourners, er - I mean - supporters? And what is that sound? Keening? Oh, heavens help us!

     Comment by dupage dan Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:49 am

135. is that the blue ribbon pig, or is that Rauner I smell on you?

     Comment by Amalia Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:51 am

136. Mapes: I always thought it would be Drury

     Speaker: It’s the smart move. Franks was always smarter.

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:52 am

137. we’ve got Rauner on the run, he actually believes Republican red will get him out of the Matrix.

     Comment by Amalia Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:55 am

138. Did you see the Blago impersonator?

     Comment by yeoman Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:56 am

139. “Do these pants make me look high-waisted?”

     Comment by Tommydanger Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:58 am

140. “I don’t care who it is, tell him I won’t sign those Rauner signs for anything less that 3 apples.”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 11:59 am

141. “Make like your Ray Donovan and pay a visit to the Governor.”

     Comment by Tommydanger Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:00 pm

142. “I see, so Rauner is wearing ‘SC colors. Yesterday it was Michigan’s maize and blue. It’s getting personal.”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:00 pm

143. “Why does my golf cart have a “Fire Madigan” bumper sticker on the back?

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:06 pm

144. “Here comes Evelyn, make her sign those papers you have before she talks to me…”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:09 pm

145. It’s miller time

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:35 pm

146. “Tim, do think my AFSCME green shirt is over the top? I hope Roberta likes it.”

     Comment by bluecollargal Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:42 pm

147. “See if you can find me an organic corn dog.”

     Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:43 pm

148. “Oh geez, is that Rauner on the Harley again?”

     Comment by Oswego Willy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:44 pm

149. You know why I wear my pants like this, Tim? Deez Nuts. Bofa.

     Comment by Jeff Trigg Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:45 pm

150. Go get some people off the street to fill this place up, the cricket noise is distracting

     Comment by Ghost Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:52 pm

151. Stop negotiating the governor’s about to become ill relevant

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 12:59 pm

152. “Tim, what is that under your collar, are you wearing a wire?”

     Comment by Tsavo Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:07 pm

153. Do I look like Erkel in these pants?

     Comment by Ginhouse Tommy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:30 pm

154. Does the high waist on these pants make me look old and out of touch?

     Comment by Downstate Illinois Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:31 pm

155. Where are all the Democrats under my control?

     Comment by GA Watcher Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:33 pm

156. Tim, I want you to go out and buy me a pair of cowboy boots and hat. I’m going to see Hank Williams Jr. tomorrow night.

     Comment by ToughGuy Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:43 pm

157. “I’m not one to complain, but many of these attacks are hitting me below the belt.”

     – MrJM

     Comment by @MisterJayEm Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 1:57 pm

158. Remember Timmy Boy, if I go down, you go down.

     Comment by Cook County Commoner Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 2:00 pm

159. “no, you are *not* too old for this ____!”

     Comment by bored now Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 2:13 pm

160. See whether you can scrounge up an apple here, and it better not have taffy on it.

     Comment by PublicServant Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 2:30 pm

161. Rough crowd today Tim….I was just reminded that I was the one who wouldn’t let Lisa run last time.

     Comment by Brilliant Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 3:12 pm

162. Wait until next week, we are going to sock it to Rauner.

     Comment by Anonymous Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 3:16 pm

163. Time to retire–boy do we look old

     Comment by getthis Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 3:29 pm

164. When I retire, are you going to work for Lou?

     Comment by Hedley Lamarr Friday, Aug 21, 15 @ 3:37 pm

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