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Caption contest!

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Illinois

* From the Hard Rock Radio Network’s Facebook page…

I had a lot of trouble choosing a pic from that page. Click here and you’ll see why. It’s truly a target-rich environment.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:41 am

Comments

“Okay, I’ve got the results of the Goldberg Look-Alike Contest here. The winner is…”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:45 am
I see you went the tame route, Rich.

Comment by 300 Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:46 am
All you bases is mine!

Comment by PublicServant Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:49 am
… I did it my way..

Comment by Huh? Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:49 am
“Ohhhhhh

I hate Unions, I hate unions, I hate them like I hate a bad Merlot…

I hate Unions, I hate unions, I hate them and I want all you to know…

They’re awful, they’re evil, they’re killin’ us…

They’re takin’, not givin’, and it needs to stop…

I’ll break ‘em, just break ‘em, then we’ll see…

How shakin’, and hammerin’ was suppose to beeeeee… Ohhhhhh …. (”Everyone now!”)

I hate Unions, I hate unions, I hate them like I hate a bad Merlot…

I hate Unions, I hate unions, I hate them and I want all you to know…

We need… some breakin’… Goin’ Onnnnnn!

Boy do I hate unions!”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:50 am
“I’m rolling thunder,pouring rain. I’m coming on like a hurricane….”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:50 am
“I have here a list of Madigan’s supporters. We will not be trick or treating at their houses this year, until structural reforms are passed. This is not extreme”.

Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:50 am
“Now here’s a little ditty by The Kinks from 1965:

“So tired,
tired of waiting,
tired of waiting for yooohooohoooo…”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:51 am
“Item 1: All state employees, except for my superstar staff, must work every other Saturday without pay! We’ll call them volunteer days. …”

Comment by Norseman Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:53 am
I have in my hand a list of seventy known Democrats in the Illinois House!

Comment by After Further Review Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:53 am
Bruce Rauner reads mean tweets

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:53 am
“I’ve got money yes I do, I’ve got wealth…How about you!”

Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:53 am
Brooke pointed out that there is a picture of the governor standing next to a guy wearing an Asteroids t-shirt. People live on asteroids, and billionaire bruce doesn’t care about those people.

Also the shirt promotes violence against rocks.

Comment by OneMan Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:55 am
Pro-Union!? Who wrote this!?

Comment by Anon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:56 am
” ‘TAKE! me out to the ballgaaaame, TAKE! me out to the …’ oops, sorry. Wrong speech. Uhhh, hang on, here. OK. ‘Union bosses. The politicians that Mike Madigan controls. Turnaround Agenda.’ “

Comment by Linus Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:59 am
I know I’ve said I don’t listen to polls, but check this out… oops, wrong one. I don’t listen to polls.

Comment by ash Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:00 am
…A Strange and Terrible Saga….

Comment by My New Handle Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:03 am
I have, in my hands, a sworn affidavit confirming I will spend all the cash the Ds want to spend.
Hell, I have already spent more. Tee hee.
And BTW I have no idea where any of these agencies are or who runs them

Comment by Anonin' Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:04 am
“‘Round my Indiana homesteads wave the cornfields,

In the distance loom the woodlands clear and cool….”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:05 am
“Now, pay attention… Here’s where Goldberg gets ‘real good’…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:06 am
I approve of their taste in music.

To the post:

“And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…Testament!”

Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:07 am
“Soooo, rip off, that union label… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:08 am
PublicServant, that’s hilarious.

Comment by Dirty Red Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:09 am
It says right here: mornin, workin, spendin, legislatin, governin, etc.
See? No g’s.

Comment by Ryan Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:09 am
Where are my reading glasses?

Comment by DuPage Bard Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:09 am
A quart of one percent, unflavored greek yoghurt… Wait, what?

Oh, man, the maid must’ve taken my speech to the grocery store.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:11 am
“Four scones and seven beers ago…wait, gimme my reading glasses…”

Comment by Anonymousse Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:11 am
I am TRYING to read the fine print!

Comment by My New Handle Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:12 am
I know Al. What a good guy. I know a couple of those guys who posted too. Ha!! The man (BR) has no clue.

Comment by Tuesday's Pizza Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:13 am
“Whoever has the 1995 Mazda Miata - your lights are still on.”

Comment by Team Sleep Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:14 am
Ok, this is my third envelope, left by Gov. Quinn…

… It says… Lemme read this… Ok…

It says… ‘Prepare three envelopes.’

I don’t get it.”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:15 am
“I have returned from the Thompson Center with a lease for no time”

Comment by Das Man Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:16 am
“… ‘With kindest personal regards, I remain…’…”

I don’t get it.”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:17 am
Sandack says this the list of GOP members who really believe in what I’m doing. Hey, this is only one page, 20 point font and triple spaced.

Comment by Give Me A Break Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:17 am
Nobody knows the trubba I seen…

Comment by Honeybear Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:17 am
“….we will not be moved….”

Comment by Wordslinger Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:19 am
“I got this Mick Jagger thing down now: ‘Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste….’”

Comment by A Jack Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:22 am
“And now, the Illinois Lottery’s winning numbers… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:23 am
“As the Grand Poobah of the Fellowship of Grass Bowls, I hereby declare that — on the count of three — we all turn around.”

Comment by Dome Gnome Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:25 am
“…then let it simmer at least…”

Comment by walker Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:26 am
Here are my stump speech talking points:
Corrupt government
Sham budget
Break the unions
Madigan controls…

Comment by Huh? Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:27 am
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends
We’re so glad you could attend
Come inside! Come inside! …

Rest assured you’ll get your money’s worth…

Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:28 am
“… So, make sure you vote for that best breakfast, cause if there’s one thing I know, a good breakfast starts a great day… ‘Drop Page’… Why do I say ‘drop page’… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:30 am
Dear Santa:

I’m tryin’ to be a good boy this year and been followin’ your advice to turn my life around.

I’m not askin’ for much for Christmas this year. All I want is Madigan to let me gut the state’s unions. And my poll numbers to stay above Madigan’s. And a unicorn.

Love,
Brucie

Comment by Dance Band on the Titanic Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:32 am
“An’ Naw… After pardonin’ them for all the EEvil dey done, and knowin’ their EEEvil ways are a ting of the past, for you, my constituency, I give you, the Soggy Bottom Boys… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:33 am
Whiskey’s for drinkin, and horses are for ridin’. Wait, wrong governor.

Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:37 am
Whereas I am Bruce Rauner,
Whereas I tell myself I have a mandate,
Whereas I have more money than you, and
Whereas I have some extra time on my hands,

I do proclaim myself to be the greatest governor of Illinois, and

That unions are evil, and

Madigan is the root of all evil, and

I do not have to take questions from the media, and

That I will get my Turnaround,

That black is white and white is black,

That down is up and up is down.

Comment by South Central Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:47 am
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to play a little time for you. I dedicate it to a man who doesn’t think he’s seen anything good this year. Michael Madigan, this one is for you.”

Comment by Tone Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:47 am
Iiiiiiiiiii am a man of constant sorrowwwwwww, I seen trouble all my days.

Laughed so hard OW

Comment by Honeybear Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:55 am
Thank you Mr. Chairman. For years now a growing number of my constituents have been motorcycle enthusiasts — and I have come to know them well. They have honored me with their support and with their friendship. Indeed I can proudly say some of my very best friends ride motorcycles.

However, Mr. Chairman, at this time very unfortunately I have to leave these proceedings in order to preside over a very important meeting of my own committee. But before I leave I do want to say this. These hearings on the Outlaws are in no way what-so-ever a slur upon these great helmet-less people.

Because I can state from my own knowledge and experience — that ABATE members are among the most loyal — most law-abiding — patriotic, hard-working American citizens in this land. And it would be a shame, Mr. Chairman, if we allowed a few rotten apples to bring a bad name to the whole barrel.

Because from the time of the great Johnny Strabler up through the time of Billy and Wyatt right up to the present day – motorcycle riders have been pioneers in building and defending our great nation. They are the salt of the earth and one of the backbones of this country.

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:56 am
Is you is is, or is you ain’t, my constitiency!

Comment by Honeybear Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:56 am
“Knock, knock.
“Who’s there?
“Mad again.
“Mad again who?
“Because…Madigan!”

“Ha ha ha, I crack myself up!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:58 am
You will not find the treasure you seek on account of your obstackels. Like Madigan

Comment by Honeybear Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:58 am
I shoulda put my name on a helicopter and offered rides at the state fair.

Comment by Hedley Lamarr Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:58 am
“And now, with that song that’s risin’ up the charts, all the way from Erie P.A., singing ‘That Thing You Do’… the… The … The Oh-Need-Ers…”

(Tips cap to - Honeybear -)

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:02 am
“I would like to auction this piece of paper. It hasn’t been maintained very well, but I still think we can sell it.”

Comment by anon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:03 am
Mr. Governor Miser - Rankin/Bass, enhanced by VanillaMan

Rauner:
I’m Mr. NO Christmas,
I’m Mr. No Fun.
I’m like a burning Blister,
Blazing in a desert sun.

They call me Governor Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.
I’m too much!

Rauner Staffers:
He’s Mr. NO Christmas
He’s Mr. No Fun.
He’s like a twisted sister,
We’d rather shun!

Rauner:
They call me a heartless Miser,
Whatever I touch
Starts to melt in my clutch.

Rauner Staffers:
He’s too much!

Comment by VanillaMan Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:06 am
“Let’s thank some sponsors, like Portillo’s. Portillo’s. Whenever I’m done shakin’ up Springfield for a day, there’s no Strawberry shake I crave more than a Portillo’s. While I’m there, I get an array of delicious choices, and affordable for Diana and me. Portillo’s, a Chicago Hot Dog that’s really out of this word… ‘Drop. Page.’… Why does it keep saying ‘drop page’, it’s comfusin’…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:10 am
“I ain’t a man of constant sorrow,
I ain’t seen trouble all day long
We are only passengers on the last train to glory
That will soon be long, long gone.”

– Arlo Guthrie, “Last Train”

Comment by Secret Square Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:11 am
“And there wont be a state budget until my three demands are met. I want my turnaround agenda, term limits, and I want the letter G stricken from the English language.

See, you have to make one crazy demand, that way, if you get caught, you can plead insanity.

Ha…. turnaround agenda.”

Comment by Downstate Weed Chewing Hick Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:17 am
Mr. Madigan, Gimme my budget!!!!

Comment by Levois Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:20 am
- 47th Ward -, well played sir, well done.

- VanillaMan - might be the leader in the clubhouse…

“Caption?”

“And that’s why, when you join the Raunerite Party, and join my movement, Democrats and Republicans alike will shutter at are strength, our numbers, and our Carhartts… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:26 am
“Crap. How did that union bug get on here?”

Comment by Former Titan Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:27 am
“It’s a note from FedEx. Evelyn, it says those Teflon-soled shoes you ordered are out of stock.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:28 am
“Sorry, folks. I’ve just received a note that I have to leave for an urgent meeting with the Four Leaders: Moe, Larry, Curly, and Shemp!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:33 am
“Here, oh… Oh, here, she’s just fabulous, just fabulous. The writing, the imagery… ‘That’s why I find myself praying for a storm, something that will prompt a rebirth in Chicago.’. That Kristen McQueary is just great, just great…”.

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:34 am
47, I was thinking he was introducing the Sierra Boys Choir.

Comment by Wordslinger Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:34 am
“Oh, and more, much more than this
I did it myyyyy waaaayyy!”

Comment by Jocko Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:35 am
“I know, crazy huh? That’s what it says, ‘you put the whole beer can IN the chicken’. Is that even healthy? (looks at it again, closer, mumbles barely audible), ‘you put the whole beer can IN the chicken’ (speaking), Yep, the whole can… “.

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:37 am
“Scale and clean one large Asian Carp.
“Put on a board and season with salt, pepper and paprika.
“Bake in 400 degree oven for 35 minutes.
“Throw the fish away and eat the board.”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:38 am
Continuing to goad Democrats into another Blago comparison, Rauner sings Suspicious Minds.

Comment by AC Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:43 am
“Will the following hostages come forward, take a bag from the pile to my right, and put it over your head?”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 11:45 am
The radio station that posted that kicks some major @ss. Just heard AC/DC and Sevendust. Www.myradiostream.com/hardrockradionetwork

Comment by Johnny Iroc Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 12:12 pm
“I hold in my right hand a Royal Proclamation hereby decreein’ that….. Shoot! Left hand! Thanks, Ck!”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 12:38 pm
I hereby decree that until what time, if any, that I return, the Scarecrow, by virtue of his highly superior brains, shall rule in my stead…

Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 1:08 pm
The great and might Oz has spoken.

Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 1:19 pm
All ye who enter here, abandon hope.

Comment by Cheswick Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 1:20 pm
“Next up for auction… Oooooooh. The University of Illinois, Chicago…” .

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 1:21 pm
“Oooooh. This is a letter from ‘Ounce of Prevention’…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:24 pm
“This picnic is sponsored by the Illinois State Museum… Ooooooh, that got threw… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:26 pm
“I’m loyal to you, Illinois,
I’m orange and blue, Illinois,
I’ll back you to stand
With no cash in my hand
So you all pound sand Illinois”

Comment by Arthur Andersen Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:27 pm
Why am I kissing this mic? My wife is mad at me.

Comment by pool boy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:29 pm
To illustrate just how far I will budge during negotiations, I only plan to move the width of this sheet of thin paper.

Comment by Cuban pilot Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:36 pm
Hear ye, hear ye: The Turnaround Agenda is thus admended:
1. If you push something hard enough, it will fall over — Fudd’s First Law of Opposition.

2. Teslacle’s Deviant to Fudd’s Law: It comes in, it must go out.

Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:50 pm
As some day it may happen that victims must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of Turnaround offenders who might well be underground,
They’d none of ‘em be missed — they’d none of ‘em be missed.
Unapologetic statesmen of uncompromising kind,
Such as — Madigan — and Cullerton, and the Dems that they control
And AFSCE shills and Lincoln’s Papers, and also the Museum —
The task of filling up the blanks I’d rather leave to you.
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ‘em be missed — they’d none of ‘em be missed!

Comment by IllinoisBoi Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 2:55 pm
“Okay, I’ve got a few additions to my Turnaround Agenda here:

“#1: Tall guys get 50% discounts on plaid shirts;

#2: Everybody whose initials are BVR gets a card good for free strawberry milkshakes;

#3: Red neckties are herewith banned in the city of Springfield. Ha! That’ll shake things up.

#4: Pronouncin’ your G’s is optional for every citizen of Illinois;

#5: Goldberg is the new editor of Capitol Fax!”

Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 4:24 pm
What’s munger sending me a letter for?

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 6:41 pm
Let me whip this out

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 6:43 pm
Do not take the brown acid

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 6:45 pm
What it say’s here is I have to submitt a balanced budget,Goldberg!

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 6:48 pm
“And now, the names of all the kids that didn’t get into Payton Prep that my denied daughter leaped over…. Adams, Adamonowski, Anderson, Appleton,… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:12 pm
“I am legally bound to read this… Apologies… ‘Evelyn Sanguinetti has signed all waivers… The picnic grounds, this organization, all members, and non members are not liable if Ms. Sanguinetti has any type of mishap… as described in Section 7, paragraph H,… and the mishaps described on page 62 of this document’… So let’s say hello to Evelyn… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:16 pm
(reading) “I just want to say how exited I am being here. This Gynasium… is a place… Gymnasium?… Oh geez… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:22 pm
(Reading) “My visit to your cute group is sponsored by Carhartt. Carhartt, it’ll keep you warm, dry, and even make a phony look good. Carhartt, the versatile coat, for any season…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:25 pm
“Is that… Is that a… $&@#%… it’s a union bug, right on the bottom of the page…” .

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:34 pm
“As I stand here today… Closing the last of the state parks forever… I’m reminded of the poem ‘Ulysses’ by Lord Alfred Tennison… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:37 pm
“What do they mean… (Reading) …’Immediately return the prop dogs or face’… lemme see… ‘face additional fines’… I got those dogs for 3 more years… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:45 pm
“Whoa! Everyone… Attention… It says here Wisconsin is… Wisconsin is… moving. south. request. orders. … Whoa… “.

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 7:47 pm
Great news china,illinois just passed the turnaround agenda

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 8:04 pm
“Bad Merlot” was the name of a band I was in back in the early 80s….

Comment by DuPage Dave Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 9:17 pm
I regret to inform you of the resignation of my chief of staff effective immediately

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Oct 15, 15 @ 10:16 pm