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* From the Morton Chamber of Commerce’s Facebook page…
* The Question: Caption?
And let’s at least try to avoid jokes about Rep. Jay Hoffman’s noggin, please.
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:24 am
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I found something else to hold hostage.
Comment by Ben Franklin Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:28 am
“I believe there are three things you never discuss with people…religion, politics & The Great Pumpkin” - Linus
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:28 am
Rauner and the pumpkins he controls
Comment by Honeybear Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:30 am
“I like to keep this in front of my heart so people can’t see how small my heart is.”
Comment by Keyrock Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:32 am
Moments later,… the pumpkin turned into a beautiful carriage by a Non-Union Fairy, and three farm mice became beautiful stallions under the Non-Union Fairy’s spell, and … the carriage… and stallions… took Raunerella… to the ILGOP Ball…
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:32 am
Illinois: Where we squash your hopes and dreams.
Comment by Curious Georgina Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:33 am
“I’m gonna carve this up just like those nursin’ home companies I used to own.”
Comment by Dance Band on the Titanic Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:35 am
Rauner, “Oh geez, take another. I forgot to do my ‘thumbs up’ part… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:36 am
Rauner, “You know, I have a farm. It loses money… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:37 am
Rauner, “Hey ‘Chief’? How do you like them Pumpkins?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:38 am
“now, see, this is proof that the turnaround agenda works…”
Comment by ash Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:38 am
Every time Jay starts a new freshman term, his head grows three sizes. Look how big it’s grown!
(I will avoid making comments about Jay’s noggin’ the same way the governor is not going to avoid taking the arrows, thank you very much.)
Comment by Juice Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:38 am
“This pumpkin may seem big, but Indiana pumpkins are huge. We need to be more like Indiana and have a bigger pumpkins.”
Comment by Jordan Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:39 am
“Governing is fun”. “This is what you can do all day too if you don’t work”
Comment by Tony Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:39 am
Hey, Moody’s, downgrade this pumpkin too, you know you want to!
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:40 am
Rauner, “In the past, when I visited a farm, I brought the stuffed prop dogs… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:40 am
“Governor, hold the pumpkin higher… to cover up your $500 tie… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:41 am
Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.
Charlie Chaplin
Comment by My New Handle Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:42 am
This is about the size of Goldberg’s brain
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:43 am
Rauner, “What?! …You left the Carhartt? …
What about a flannel shirt… Well, look in the ‘Prop Trunk’… Ugh… Fine, just take the picture…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:43 am
Ya know, one thing I like about Pumpkins is you can carve ‘em up, take out the pulp, and leave them a hollow shell.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:44 am
Yea I know there is a pumpkin shortage, you want pumpkins? Pass my union breaking reforms, and you can have a pumpkin. Bwaahaha
Comment by burbanite Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:44 am
Do you think we can carve this one to look like the Speaker?
Comment by anon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:45 am
Speaker I have taken the apples hostage. I will kill the queen if you do not relent. Resistance is futile.
Comment by LizPhairTax Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:45 am
Rauner, “Can you bring the pumpkin over here, these aren’t prop shoes, they’re Italian and worth more than that tractor… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:45 am
In one photo, Gov. Rauner shows literally all the steps he has taken since being elected to feed the needy.
Comment by Gooner Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:47 am
=And let’s at least try to avoid jokes about Rep. Jay Hoffman’s noggin, please.=
You mean let’s avoid all noggin jokes after that one
Comment by Get a Job!! Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:47 am
Jay Hoffman’s new scarecrow.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:47 am
This pumpkin is like the budget hold it up with one hand chock it with the other
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:47 am
I found a pumpkin Madigan doesn’t control!
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:48 am
Rauner, “Stick with me, I’ll tweet this about 10 times and your pumpkin patch will win… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:48 am
Perhaps the heaviest lifting Rauner has done since becoming governor.
Comment by South Central Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:49 am
Rauner, “Well, you tell Ms. Garrett to hold one second… I’m taking a picture… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:49 am
I fertilized this with my turn around agenda. See how productive Illinois can be with my effluence, er I mean affluence.
Comment by Vole Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:51 am
Rauner, “No, I got plenty of time for pictures, plenty of time, where should we start… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:52 am
This pumpkin represents Illinois’ bloated bureaucracy in Illinois. Let’s roll up our sleeves and rip the guts out of this bureaucracy, then we can carve a happy face on it & put a candle in it. That’s what the people want, trust me!
Comment by Get a Job!! Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:52 am
He ain’t heavy, he’s my Pumpkin.
Comment by Slippin' Jimmy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:54 am
“And they said I wouldn’t be any good at this job!”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:57 am
“This would make a good pie, Jay. Just make sure the 1% get 90% of it.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:59 am
Goldberg get over here what is this a pie or a vegetable?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 11:59 am
“Jay, toss this baby in the blender and make me a pumpkin shake, would ya?”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:01 pm
Hey this is what Ald Jobe’s tourism dept promotes. Pretty sweet huh.
Comment by Anonin' Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:02 pm
“Anybody know if these things are kosher?”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:02 pm
This is an “Illinois Government” pumpkin…way too big for its purpose, a tremendous burden to support, and it gets rotten very shortly after it’s put in service… The only way to make it useful is to take its guts out, cut out a lot of it, and put a fire in its belly…
Comment by Arizona Bob Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:02 pm
Who needs an Ag Director when we can grow beast pumpkins like this?
Comment by Solid Dwight Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:02 pm
Back off jay I’ll pick it up from here
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:04 pm
I’ll rip the guts out of this pumpkin like I’ll rip the economic guts out of Indiana.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:05 pm
HBO - “Dad’s Home State” - Season 1, Episode 83
Bruce visits a pumpkin patch, secretly wishes for the Great Pumpkin. Diana goes to work, secretly wishes Bruce would do his job. Diana’s state employee wishes out loud for a vacation. Lance tweets pictures of funny restaurant signs, Goldberg writes letters to Universities about being “downgraded”. Comedy, 55 minutes.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:05 pm
“Can ya make wine outta these things? I mean, after ya strain the seeds out, of course.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:06 pm
“I’m winnin’ and this is a great lookin’ green pumpkin!”
Comment by From the 'Dale to HP Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:08 pm
“Ya want me to judge the pumpkin pasta sauce at the Morton Pumpkin Festival? Uh, I think I’m busy governorin’ that day, right ck?”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:08 pm
“If we could get the Speaker to eat one of these every day, he’d REALLY be a regular guy.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:10 pm
No way you guy’s named this after my dog?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:12 pm
@FakeRutherfordDan - Rauner’s an amateur. Where’s the “after” picture? #CarvedMeUp
@FakeJasonPlummer - Bruce gets to have all the fun. #GoverningIsKidsStuff
@FakeSlipAndSue - Illinois is 5th in the US in pumpkin patch accidents, according to my liability waiver #MaybeNextTime
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:12 pm
“Let’s paint this bad boy red and present it to Madigan at our upcoming meeting! Heh, heh, heh.”
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:13 pm
No caption, just a suggestion to Rauner-
Let’s see some tweets with you at food pantries, childcare centers, homeless shelters, nursing homes. Honoring Mr. Vernon that day was laudable (http://www.pjstar.com/article/20151026/NEWS/151029479/?Start=1), grinnin’ over a pumpkin was not.
Comment by Anon221 Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:13 pm
No one can carve things up and empty them out like I can.
Comment by Earnest Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:14 pm
“If this one rolled away and we couldn’t find it, it’d be a Dunkin Punkin! Ha! I slay myself.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:14 pm
“Like that French lady said, ‘Let ‘em eat punkin!”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:16 pm
Two bumpkins and a Pumpkin!
Comment by WhoKnew Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:18 pm
“Hey, this is the same color as my buddy Donald’s hair.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:19 pm
“So I hear this year Illinois will be out of money before Morton will be out of pumpkins.”
Comment by No Longer A Lurker Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:24 pm
The Governor’s doctor called, he said it was OK for him to go to work.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:27 pm
Rauner, “Owls like pumpkins? You don’t say… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:28 pm
Governor Rauner turned up in Morton, IL disappointed after he discovered that when told he was going to be shown a “gourd union” it turned out he was just visiting a pumpkin patch.
Comment by Juice Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:31 pm
“This one will be on display for the kids when they show up for my big Halloween party at the mansion. Then, because I’m so popular, I’ll sign it and it will be on display at the State Museum.”
Comment by Austin Blvd Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:32 pm
But my fairy god mother said this would turn into balanced budget….
Comment by 'Kiddin Me? Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:32 pm
“This pumpkin is enough to fill the State’s budget. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”
Comment by Das Man Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:33 pm
“If we don’t find the money to pay the lady who sculpts the buttercow at the State Fair, we’ll just sculpt this”.
Comment by Austin Blvd Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:34 pm
Trick or trick, Illinois.
Comment by hisgirlfriday Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:36 pm
If there’s one thing I’m good at is holding things up
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:37 pm
Rauner: “What? Ck, you said this was a magic 8 ball,the company just changed its color and increased its size”
Comment by NewWestSuburbanGOP'er Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:49 pm
“Much like ‘The Great Pumpkin’ in Charlie Brown, we may never see another budget.”
Comment by Team Sleep Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:57 pm
The Great Pumpkin and the Not-So-Great Governor.
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:57 pm
Today the great pumpkin endorsed the Rauner turnaround agenda and blamed madigan for the failure to compromise on an, well basically everything. In an unrelated move governor Rauner announced subsidies to pumpkin growers who promise not to pay prevailingly wages.
Comment by Relocated Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 12:57 pm
I heard there’s a pumpkin crisis a can leverage
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:04 pm
This will never fit in my grass bowl
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:09 pm
Rauner offers Madigan yet another substantive compromise, a pumpkin, just in time for Halloween.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:20 pm
John Ackerman and two things I’d like to chuck.
Comment by Jocko Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:21 pm
“Just grinnin’, grabbin’ a gourd, and impersonatin’ a governor.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:22 pm
Seriously, no comments about Hoffman? But the resemblance is so uncanny.
Comment by truecolors Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:24 pm
“I expect a pumpkin pie by January. We could have a pumpkin pie sooner, but the Democrats won’t consider my recipes. The people of Illinois like these recipes. We are making progress, although I refuse to make a pumpkin pie until my pumpkin turnover agenda is discussed. No, I am not holding the pumpkin. I expect a pumpkin pie by January.”
Comment by Sacks Romana Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:34 pm
@FakeBruceRauner - knock knock, who’s there, orange, orange who? Orange you glad I’m not workin’ for a budget. #BadJoke #JokesOnIL
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:34 pm
BVR: “I can’t believe the color of the Watermelons that they grow down here in Morton!”
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:34 pm
The Governor receives an important mathematical lesson on the number of votes it takes to pass and overidde a bill, using pumpkins as as an example.
Comment by AC Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:39 pm
“My friends in Chicago say I’m out of my gourd.”
Comment by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:43 pm
Of course Rauner picks one of the biggest pumpkins from the gated community, ignoring the smaller, suffering pumpkins living in dangerous conditions near the road.
Comment by Robert the Bruce Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:47 pm
@FakeBruceRauner - if you lost a state service because of my hostage taking, RT this picture to win the pumpkin! #Gimmicks #LookAtMeICare
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:53 pm
Even though without my Turnaround Agenda we don’t grow jobs in Illinois,at least we still grow great pumpkins!🎃
Comment by DuPage Don Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:55 pm
“Did you really love the name ‘Pumpkin’ or did you name your dog after the first thing you saw?”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:56 pm
Rauner, “This is great, just great. I can only get near pumpkins when I visit three of my 9 homes, so it’s a treat, just a treat to get one… “
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 1:58 pm
“Hey Goldberg - do you think the pumpkin cannon can reach the 13th Ward from here?”
Comment by Stones Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:02 pm
Rauner, Rauner pumpkin fawner,
Has a wife he makes a frowner;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:05 pm
“ck” - “Governor, after the pumpkin picture, we have posin’ with a squash, 2 cobs of corn, 6 string beans, 3 beets, 5 asparagus, and finally 4 carrots…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:14 pm
OW @2:05 - I laughed out loud. Excellent work.
Comment by Robert the Bruce Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:14 pm
Handily smashing pumpkins
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:14 pm
“Let them eat pie!”
Comment by CharlieKratos Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:16 pm
“Fewer warts than the Illinois budget”
Comment by Jake From Elwood Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:17 pm
“Jay, when I was at Dartmouth, I had a carbuncle this big removed. Still the school record.”
JA (Sheesh. How does Diana keep a straight face?)
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:17 pm
Thanks - Robert the Bruce -
“Caption?”
“No, I’ll carve it myself thanks. I’ll bake the seeds and give them to The Owl as a reward for approved tweets”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:19 pm
Pumpkin patch behind Rauner heard screaming at the sight of the very large carving knife the governor keeps at the ready.
Comment by Amalia Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:19 pm
“Cut off the top and this would make one heckuva spit can.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:19 pm
“Jay, whatta ya call this handle at the top here?”
“Uh, we call that the stem, Governor.”
“Amazin’! They even grow their own handles.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:21 pm
“Get many guys out here in the punkin patch in white shirts?”
“You’re the first, sir.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:25 pm
“Jay, if it wasn’t for Madigan, these things would be TWICE as big.”
Comment by Streator Curmudgeon Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:28 pm
The other 99% of the pumpkins are little pumpkins but this is a big pumpkin and it is going home with me to be with its own kind. I will name it Percival and we will drink wine together while laughing at photos of old people shivering in the cold.
Comment by former southerner Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 2:52 pm
“I’ve got this celebrity thing down.”
Comment by Hedley Lamarr Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 3:09 pm
The constant grin?? I’m shakin’ up Springfield! So what if I destroy IL? I’m happy! Everybody else doesn’t matter.
Comment by sal-says Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 3:12 pm
“This is where I hid Ken Dunkin.”
Comment by Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 4:02 pm
The only thing I grew this summer was the deficit
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 4:16 pm
My cousin Mose Schrute and I grew this pumpkin. We have named it Michael. Very shortly we are going to carve it up and serve it to you know who at our November 18 meeting. We’ll see if old pumpkin head likes that part of my turn around agenda.
Comment by Dutchman Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 4:23 pm
He’s the Governor of Halloween Town, so beware that angry face on the back of his head. our situation really is a Nightmare Before Christmas.
Comment by Amalia Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 5:04 pm
This pumpkin is Springfield. I could drop it and let it break into many pieces. Or I can provide the support it needs to stay whole. Which do I do?
Comment by zatoichi Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 5:04 pm
This is almost as big as Madigan’s head!
Comment by DonaldTrump Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 5:07 pm
“Mike, put that apple aside and bite THIS.”
Comment by Stumpy's bunker Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 5:39 pm
The pumpkin has been carved. So it’s a part of my turn around agenda. It looks the same, but the inside has been gutted. I blame Madigan for this.
Comment by Pale Rider Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 6:56 pm
“I LOVE this job!!”
Comment by danray Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 7:44 pm
Rauner recalled. Replacement found.
Comment by Kasich Walker, Jr. Tuesday, Oct 27, 15 @ 8:30 pm