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Pritzker trolls Rauner with Craigslist job ad

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* The Pritzker campaign just posted a Craigslist ad

LOST: Best Team In America

NOW HIRING: ENTIRE GUBERNATORIAL COMMUNICATIONS TEAM

Seeking Best Team in America…Take 2

JOB DESCRIPTION: The communications department is responsible for crafting effective “messaging” for the governor’s office. We are currently seeking candidates for entry level to senior positions following what some are calling a “Wednesday night massacre.” Prior team members have been unwilling to show a racist cartoon, compared abortion to Nazi eugenics, tweeted homophobic and sexist slurs, advocated for the firing of all state workers, and got into Twitter fights with reporters over spelling errors. Come on board!

Ideal applicants will have the ability to convince Illinois voters that going 736 days without a budget is good and school funding is bad. Candidates need not know how many votes it takes to pass legislation or amendatory vetoes. An ideal applicant will be a self-starter. At times, it may even feel like no one is in charge.

REQUIREMENTS: Extensive experience in radical, right-wing activism. Government experience optional. Leave your G’s at home.

DURATION: 37 days… perhaps.

ATTIRE: Steam-pressed plaid shirts and Carhartt jackets.

SALARY: Commensurate with lack of experience.

LOCATION: Springfield or under the nearest bus.

Please email resumes and cover letters to BestTeamInAmericaTake2@gmail.com.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 9:57 am

Comments

  1. Funny and true, but not something I want to hear from my next governor.

    Comment by Dome Gnome Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:01 am

  2. I love the SALARY and LOCATION lines.

    Comment by My New Handle Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:01 am

  3. “Springfield or under the nearest bus” is amazing

    Comment by PJ Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:01 am

  4. Hilarious

    Comment by How Ironic Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:02 am

  5. I applaud team pritzker. team rauner can’t respond because they don’t have enough players to field a team.

    Comment by 360 Degree TurnAround Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:02 am

  6. You ‘nember how Rauner’s Campaign Crew would troll Pat Quinn, mercilessly, daily, “hourly”, giving Quinn no chance to even breathe?

    ‘Nember?

    That was “Skyhook”

    This is “Skyhook, in reverse”…

    … and it’s delicious.

    Served cold, but o so delicious.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:03 am

  7. I like what I’m seeing. Dem with OODA loops. Keep hitting and keep them guessing.

    Comment by Norseman Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:04 am

  8. Funny and true, but not something I want to hear from my next governor.
    ====

    It’s not meant to be that serious.

    Comment by Real Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:04 am

  9. I mean that stuff is priceless. What’s been lost in all this what now becomes of the de facto Gov Proft?

    Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:05 am

  10. Oof.

    Comment by Flippy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:07 am

  11. - Real -
    I agree it’s not supposed to be serious, and I do think it’s really funny, but I think - Dome Gnome - is right that this would be more appropriate coming from some source other than a leading gubernatorial campaign. It’s not that candidates can’t be funny; it’s just that one starts to wonder what they’re doing over there when so much of what they come out with is too-clever-by-half snark.

    Comment by Commander Norton Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:07 am

  12. So, why doesn’t Rauner just cut to the chase and name Profit the Comms Director?

    Comment by Michael Westen Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:09 am

  13. Is Goldberg secretly moonlighting for the Pritzker campaign?

    Comment by Cubs in '16 Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:10 am

  14. Hilarious. Nice to see humor return to our politics after so much anger and knee-jerk ideology.

    Comment by Whatever Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:11 am

  15. hahahah that was pretty good.

    Comment by Ghost Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:13 am

  16. What a surreal time to follow politics.

    At the national level, with Trump, it’s like watching Coke ruin its brand.

    While in IL it’s like watching Pepsi compete to see if it can flame out more quickly.

    Comment by Blue Bayou Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:13 am

  17. Well, Dome Gnome, you are first to call it, “next governor”.

    Comment by wondering Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:17 am

  18. So tell me JB, how do you plan to pay for the expanded healthcare you talk about in your commercial. Maybe you’ll cut a personal check, or maybe increase taxes. And speaking of healthcare, you may want to push yourself away from the dinner table with those two massive arms of yours.

    Comment by Brother Louie Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:19 am

  19. So did Pritzker’s crew giggle the entire time this was being typed out? Come on. Pritker’s comm director was Terry McAullife’s comm point person so none of this surprises me.

    Comment by Curl of the Burl Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:19 am

  20. Best Team of People Possible doesn’t have the same ring.

    Comment by Sonny Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:19 am

  21. Did Team Pritzker confirm it was their doing?

    Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:23 am

  22. So Brother Louie, I presume you were/are similarly bothered by the President’s lack of a clear plan for, well, anything?

    Comment by Tommydanger Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:25 am

  23. Next Level Hilarious. Doesn’t get better.

    Comment by Modem Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:26 am

  24. Yep OW, JB has the resources to troll but does he have the mettle to govern. We been down this road before, oh yeah we’re still on that road.

    Comment by Rerun Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:26 am

  25. That’s great. Keep it up, Team JB.

    Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:30 am

  26. Is the ad for JB’s toilets under antiques or household?

    Comment by City Zen Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:30 am

  27. He’s distancing himself from IPI with his words, but I look to the ——> and his Twitter timeline is exploding with IPI retweets.

    Comment by Sonny Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:30 am

  28. A hit, a palpable hit.

    Comment by IllinoisBoi Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:32 am

  29. As Norseman has pointed out, someone in JB’s team has been reading their Boyd.

    Comment by Oneman Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:33 am

  30. Good Stuff, this guy allows for this type of humor on a daily basis. Rauner just can’t get a handle on this governing stuff, and his people choice skills are really lacking.

    Comment by Retired Educator Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:35 am

  31. Get the transcript. I’m pretty sure he dug the hole a little deeper in the Q&A.

    Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:36 am

  32. Public service is so hard they only lasted 37 days. Is that Bruce under that lion pelt standing at the lectern or gd Hercules caught in a time warp and transported to modern day Naperville, I can’t tell from here.

    Comment by Sonny Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:36 am

  33. That is some grade A level snark and so richly deserved.

    And as to the whiners and attempted defenders of Rauner, “sauce for the goose” or “hoisted on your own pitard”, pick your poison. LP has been awfully quiet around here.

    Comment by Anon0091 Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:37 am

  34. - Rerun -

    If Rauner is the measuring stick, right now I can’t see any Dem announced candidate that has as their agenda the destruction of Illinois. Do you?

    Agree - 47th Ward -

    Rauner added days to this, himself, by “some believe” from his own mouth.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:39 am

  35. Ridiculous. Don’t think this will impress too many.

    Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:39 am

  36. Yes TommyD, I am very bothered by the insane actions of our President. We are headed nowhere quickly under his so called leadership. I fear that soon the entire country may look like Illinois.

    Comment by Brother Louie Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:40 am

  37. ===Don’t think this will impress too many.===

    Only those with a sense of humor.

    Comment by Cubs in '16 Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:42 am

  38. === Don’t think this will impress too many. ===

    It’s not meant to impress. It’s meant to get people to think about Rauner’s incompetence in a humorous manner.

    Comment by Norseman Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:47 am

  39. I’ve always said politics is a great spectator sport.

    Comment by RNUG Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:49 am

  40. Boy, somebody on JB’s team really knows how to write. We need political humor of this caliber in deadly serious times.

    so many great lines … under the nearest bus… with lack of experience … no budget good, school funding bad … nobody in charge.

    I want to to see this quality of writing up its game to, say, JB’s plan for the economic redevelopment of the state.

    Now that would be something.

    Comment by dbk Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:50 am

  41. Brother Louie - Pro tip - When your critique starts to focus on a candidates appearance, everything else you say that might be valid is lost.

    Comment by Montrose Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:54 am

  42. Tells me nothing other than he thinks the election is a joke. Tell me again JB how you plan to handle Madigan which is where the 4 prior governors failed. Oh yea, you are doing everything you can to avoid answering the only question that matters.

    Choosing between two incompetent billionaires, one in Madigan’s pocket one not, Rauner will be re-elected.

    Better get serious about real issues, real fast.

    Comment by the Patriot Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:56 am

  43. Dear “critics” of this top shelf trolling.

    Rauner’s Crew did the very same in tactics to Quinn for over a year.

    Get over yourselves.

    That’s one of the other layers of sheer genius this is.

    If that’s lost on ya… lol

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 10:58 am

  44. Tell me again JB how you plan to handle Madigan…

    Well Patriot, You don’t “handle” the leader of a co-equal branch of government. You negotiate and work with them.

    Comment by don the legend Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:01 am

  45. ==Choosing between two incompetent billionaires==

    Well, apparently Rauner’s own cheerleaders are beginning to own his culpability in that part of the narrative. It’s a start, I guess.

    Comment by Ipso Facto Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:02 am

  46. Did we forget that JB has a misdemeanor conviction for writing bad checks? Is he eligible for this job with a record?

    Comment by Did we forget Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:09 am

  47. Thanks Montrose, I am always open to learning new things. Of course, it would be hard to vote for JB, no matter what he said or promised, because any person who has so little self discipline as to let themselves become morbidly obese is not the candidate for me.

    And morbid obesity is a significant cause of the country’s healthcare costs. So before JB starts talking about expanding healthcare, he should lead by example and drop a few.

    Comment by Brother Louie Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:10 am

  48. - Did we forget -

    Do you know the difference between misdemeanors and felonies?

    lol

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:10 am

  49. Outside of getting pummeled in a political race in the late 90’s and inheriting a boatload of money, what has Pritzker accomplished?

    Comment by Piece of Work Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:10 am

  50. ==bad checks==

    Many have “736 reasons why” such outrage is clever by a half.

    Comment by Ipso Facto Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:13 am

  51. - Brother Louie -,

    Your concerned trolling for JB’ body shape is noted, LOL…

    What else ya got?

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:13 am

  52. Pat Quinn fails.

    Bruce Rauner fails.

    Get use to it. It’s a path to win, and thus trolling is part and parcel of that path.

    Using Rauner’s game plan against him so deliciously cold is fun.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:14 am

  53. For those who know they aren’t going to vote for Rauner a second time the “other” candidates are all on trial right now. I don’t think JB’s team fully gets this nuance yet and they seem to think he is just preaching to the insider choir for lols when in fact he has a much broader audience observing him for seriousness and intellectual depth. Yes, this job ad is clever and funny trolling but it sure doesn’t make me view JB as a first choice or induce me want to vote for JB for governor of a state in trouble, either.

    Comment by Responsa Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:16 am

  54. this is incredibly juvenile, no one is laughing at this second rate prank. For a Billionaire you think JB could afford to hire someone with some actual ability to produce something witty.

    Comment by iggy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:16 am

  55. Keep it up. Anything to keep 1.4% off balance is good.

    Comment by Huh? Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:16 am

  56. This is kind of dumb, and it bums me out that Jordan A probably had a hand in this; she was a solid reporter, now she’s just another flack doing bad flack things.

    Comment by A State Employee Guy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:17 am

  57. You mean he didn’t always have access to piles of money and wasn’t all that smart with how he managed what money he had in college? The horror.

    Comment by Anonish Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:19 am

  58. ===…Pritzker accomplished?===

    Pritzker and a sitting governor of Illinois for 3 fiscal years have the same amount of signed, full year, state budgets, LOL

    What else ya got?

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:27 am

  59. Signing bad checks

    Comment by Dublin Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:32 am

  60. Rauner is a disaster. No argument here.

    Here’s what else I got on JB. He is another billionaire, but he didn’t even make it himself. One of the “do as I say, not as I do” guys (think property taxes). A guy with a lot of promises that are going to cost a lot of money, in a state that still won’t be able to pay for anything but pensions even with the last income tax increase. So where is JB going to get the revenue?

    He offers promises without solutions. That’s what I got.

    No lol required.

    Comment by Brother Louie Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:33 am

  61. Got cut off. Signing bad checks in college is not equal to signing government contracts in which you never intend to pay.

    Comment by Dublin Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:33 am

  62. - Brother Louie -

    Rauner won with “Shake up” and “Bring back” and not much else.

    Rauner wasn’t Quinn.

    Pritzker isn’t Rauner.

    Being a sitting governor that is sitting at 63% disapproval… it’s just reminding people “Bruce Rauner fails”

    How do I know?

    Candidate Rauner showed me.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:35 am

  63. The key takeaway here is tone. Rauner’s messaging seems to weave between anger and despair. JB’s camp uses humor and sarcasm to get their points across. Maybe that’s the benefit of being outside looking in.

    Rauner messaging has been poor since Day 1.

    Comment by City Zen Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:37 am

  64. ===Rauner messaging has been poor since Day 1.===

    That’s not true at all.

    Until Goldberg left, every day from getting the Raunerite Party (renamed in retrospect) nomination until that day Goldberg left… Rauner won just about every single day.

    Nearly every single day, Rauner won.

    Now, since Goldberg, Z, et al left, Rauner hasn’t won many, if any, days.

    Be honest to the past.

    Thanks.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 11:41 am

  65. The humor is priceless. Especially the Location…loved it. It’s a much-needed jab from the light-hearted side of the pen.

    Comment by Ma'at's Feather Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 12:04 pm

  66. =Oh yea, you are doing everything you can to avoid answering the only question that matters.=

    You forgot to add “to me” at the end.

    Comment by Pundent Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 12:45 pm

  67. Hilarious, because it is true.

    Has bruce seen it? (New catch phrase)
    Has diana seen it?

    If diana switches to a private email server, are the emails FOIA-able, if the recipient is a state employee?

    Comment by Langhorne Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 12:46 pm

  68. =Is the ad for JB’s toilets under antiques or household?=

    No, it is under the BTIA heading.

    Comment by JS Mill Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 12:49 pm

  69. So Willy, you don’t know if Pritzker has ever accomplished anything either. Good to see we agree on something.

    Comment by Piece of Work Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 12:53 pm

  70. OW-
    I would agree with that, but you got to admit this “New” Rauner is a lot more fun to watch! /s

    Comment by WhoKnew Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 1:00 pm

  71. ===you don’t know if Pritzker has ever accomplished anything either. Good to see we agree on something.===

    I guess reading is just too tough for you. It’s fundamental.

    Equating that both Rauner and Pritzker have the same amount of full year budgets signed isn’t what you want it to mean.

    When you figure out what I’m saying, get back to all of us

    ===I would agree with that, but you got to admit this “New” Rauner is a lot more fun to watch===

    It’s like a game “pick the wrong decision” and see what happens.

    *popcorn not included.

    Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 1:29 pm

  72. In a time when politics is mostly about failure, this is a gem and offered the best laugh I’ve had in months. I hope we’ll be seeing more of this.

    Comment by Aldyth Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 2:19 pm

  73. Funny Stuff by JB: see above.

    Funny Stuff by Rauner: I’ll never forget that time we kicked all those old folks out of the nursing home…..HA….and those in wheelchairs were slidin’ sideways down the sidewalk ’cause of the ice…OMG……and the geezers topplin’ over each other with the walkers a-flying…..man, what a day.

    Comment by Anonymous Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 2:35 pm

  74. This hit is award-worthy

    Comment by Shytown Thursday, Aug 24, 17 @ 6:10 pm

  75. Well, he can afford to hire plenty of good talent. They will be useful in wider contexts in the coming months.

    Pritzker vs Rauner accomplishment message: One helped start ups and created jobs, while the other dimembered companies and cut jobs.

    Comment by walker Friday, Aug 25, 17 @ 6:44 am

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