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Caption contest!

Posted in:

• Illinois

* Keep it clean…

posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:02 pm

Comments

1. And this is the biggest that a pension should be …

   Comment by The Old Professor Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:09 pm

2. And when I’m done with the people of illinois, it’ll be this big. They will whistle when the wind blows

   Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:11 pm

3. “The problem is… when Evelyn falls… no one can catch her quick enough… “

   Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:11 pm

4. ….. and hopefully, out of all of Illinois, this tiny little group of voters that read CapFax are the only ones that realize I am not telling the truth.

   Comment by Ole' Nelson Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:12 pm

5. “Can you make it so it can be mounted on my Harley… “

   Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:12 pm

6. The pothole I hit riding my hog in Cook County was this big.

   Comment by Responsa Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:13 pm

7. I saw JB Pritzker eat three burritos in one sitting that were each this big.

   Comment by Fax Machine Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:13 pm

8. So for my next costume, can you guys make me a button this big?

   Comment by Baloneymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:15 pm

9. “Now you see it, now you don’t”

   Don’t be fooled, the card is up his sleeve.

   Comment by Joe M Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:18 pm

10. Governor Rauner demonstrates how his ‘immigrant’ grandfather made the instruments

    Comment by DEE Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:18 pm

11. “I want the camera here… so I can ride hands free on the Harley, mounted… that’s how I can look cool…”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:19 pm

12. “Can all the Raunerbots be bundled, or do have another way we can control that?”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:20 pm

13. “You can’t tell under the vest, but my waist is this big”

    Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:22 pm

14. “I took the veto pen machine like this… and I moved it… so I don’t embarrass myself anymore… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:22 pm

15. So when we “choke out” Illinois, we can take all it’s stuff and no one will know.

    Comment by Jocko Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:23 pm

16. “I take $20 million here… moved it here… and I bough two caucuses… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:24 pm

17. Can you build me a flux capacitor so I can go back in time and not do that whole purge/IPI thing?

    Comment by Baloneymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:25 pm

18. “I put all my costumes into a hamper… I shake it… like this… and whatever costume falls out first… I wear… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:25 pm

19. “So I got these ‘three envelopes’, to open when I’m in trouble… I gathered them up… put them in my fireplace… burned them… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:27 pm

20. “I took the trash can van… drove it ‘here’, but then I realized parking it ‘here’… no none can see it… so I got in it… moved it ‘there’… and that’s how you stage a good prop”

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:31 pm

21. “The script says I take the prop and hold it like, you know, in ‘The Lion King’, but I’m not feeling it… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:33 pm

22. “Capitol Fax was talking about pizza today. I like me a small lil deep dish, ‘this’ size… and a Stag Beer… “

    Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:34 pm

23. I️ kid you not. I️ have Mike Madigan neck in my hands just like this and…then I wake up.

    Comment by Former Hillrod Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:39 pm

24. His costumes are beginning to run together.
    Old timey bank teller meets Montana rancher?
    Yikes. Looks like someone forgot laundry day out at the Fairgrounds.

    Seriously, what’s with the vest lately? Did he lose a bet?

    Comment by Michelle Flaherty Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 4:54 pm

25. Someone cut the tags out of his Garanimals.

    Comment by 37B Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 5:06 pm

26. You wouldn’t believe these Chinese kids they had working on the assembly lines. No OSHA rules, no worker’s comp, it was beautiful. Watching them work, with no goggles or protective gear of any kind, picking up the crucible like *this* with just a rusty old pair of kitchen tongs, no gloves, no apron. Well I got to tell you, I was impressed.

    The best part? If one of those kids gets hurt and can’t work, they send them back to their hometown in rural whoknowswhere China and they can find ten more children to take their place before the shift even ends. Now I ask you, how can Illinois manufacturers compete with these guys?

    And Mike Madigan refuses to repeal all of those job-killing worker protections that are holding back our economy. I can’t believe I’m losing to that guy.

    Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 5:06 pm

27. After I finish shakin’ up Springfield, i’ll have a lot of time on my hands. Beginnin’ mid- January 2019 I could reshape your company in no time. I do not see many jobs here we could not transfer to my private Phillapine island where the workforce is 100% Coolie. Blow your profit margin’s out the wazzou. Know what I am sayin’?

    Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 5:34 pm

28. “…As soon as deliveries are made at the front door, you sell it out the back door at a discount. And then, when there’s nothing left, and you can’t get another loan from the bank, or buy anything on credit, you light a match…..”

    Comment by wordslinger Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 5:36 pm

29. After those veto overrides, I need a hug.

    Comment by A Jack Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 5:53 pm

30. “Like my new dress vest? It’s vintage. Diana picked it up at a yard sale in Winnetka.”

    Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 6:06 pm

31. You’re stepping over the the yellow line. Why are you stepping over the yellow line? Don’t you remember anything about the safety talk we gave you before you came out on the shop floor? We told you to never step over the yellow line.

    Comment by Huh? Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 6:12 pm

32. “I have no idea what this governor is talking about…”

    Join the club sir, join that club…

    Comment by Dr Dean Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 6:32 pm

33. Trump told me he just walks right up to them like this.

    Comment by Henry Francis Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 6:46 pm

34. Bruce: Awww, come on guys, it’s so simple. Maybe you need a refresher course.
    It’s all ball bearings nowadays. Now you prepare that Fetzer valve with some 3-in-1 oil and some gauze pads. And I’m gonna need ’bout ten quarts of anti-freeze, preferably Prestone. No, no make that Quaker State.

    Comment by Michelle Flaherty Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 7:17 pm

35. Now I know I’m over the yellow line and could lose my hand, but these are the regulations that are killing our business. Working across the Mississippi you have to see that. Speaking of Iowa you know when the first Ronald Regan dinner is in 2019?

    Comment by Almost the Weekend Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 7:21 pm

36. “So when I need a vote or two, I reach in my drawer and pull out a wad like this here, and go find me a few ‘paid for’s’…..gotta git me some bigger hands lately….”

    Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 7:29 pm

37. “My grandfather was a Norwegian salmon THIS BIG.”

    Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 7:31 pm

38. “I apologize if you have a contract with the state and haven’t got paid, I’m just trying to squeeze the beast”.

    Comment by XDNR Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 7:51 pm

39. “This pretty much sums up my accomplishments as governor and I’m being generous”.

    Comment by XDNR Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:10 pm

40. “Then this walker sneaks up behind Rick….”

    Comment by Justbored Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:19 pm

41. One of the govenors people in the back doesn’t have safety glasses.

    Someone call OSHA

    Comment by Anon Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:46 pm

42. You look uneasy - you votin’ for Jeanne too?

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:53 pm

43. I know Wisconsin, Indiana and Missouri look as good to you as they do to me, right?

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:55 pm

44. Can this machine salvage my administration?

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 8:57 pm

45. Now look over here. Can you visualize the details of my idea? You gotta be quick. Let me repeat.

    Comment by zatoichi Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 9:07 pm

46. … and I put my hands like this so one knows what the other is doin’. Sometimes it works, but Madigan put some kinda force field between them.

    Comment by My New Handle Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 9:58 pm

47. Although I claim to be a Republican, I expect all Illinois taxpayers to pay higher taxes to pay for aborting humans this size or smaller.

    Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 10:21 pm

48. I had those union guys right where I wanted them but Madigan’s crony judges got in the way.

    Comment by LIberty Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 10:34 pm

49. Dressing up like Roy Moore isn’t enough, now he is learning his moves.

    Comment by DeseDemDose Tuesday, Nov 14, 17 @ 11:00 pm

50. it was already broken before I touched it

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 12:56 am

51. fully vested in the destruction of Illinois

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:03 am

52. You don’t see that swarm of bugs flying around my head

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:18 am

53. kool-aid smile

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:23 am

54. I pull things apart, not bring them together

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:25 am

55. I was shampooing my deputy’s hair, when we came up with this trip

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:30 am

56. term limits get you exited as I am

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:34 am

57. I pull the wings off flys for fun

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:36 am

58. this is what will be different in my second term

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:40 am

59. wadding up my accomplishments

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:43 am

60. it’s madigans fault, honest Indian

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:48 am

61. you know what, Diana said I was having a ball

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:51 am

62. I choose to fight

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 1:54 am

63. You seen my orb

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 2:16 am

64. poaching jobs for his govenor buddys

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 2:20 am

65. you want harris or happys joes

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 2:26 am

66. when you tell them like I do, it takes two hands to handle the whopper

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 2:40 am

67. lets just count this as a standing ovation

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 2:44 am

68. I need a bucket of water my pants are on fire

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 3:09 am

69. Playing par for his course

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 6:42 am

70. I’m going to shrink the government with term limits

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 6:44 am

71. Job creator worked up over term limits

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 6:46 am

72. I didn’t raise taxes, madigan did it to save the state from junk

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 6:50 am

73. isn’t this the town that Iowa bridge ends up at

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 6:57 am

74. I can see Iowa and parts of Russia from here

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:00 am

75. Its good to be downstate again

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:03 am

76. I have been to the far east and middle east, they like me the least

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:24 am

77. Gov. Rauner demonstrates his grasp of responsibilities of his office.

    Comment by Michelle Flaherty Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:29 am

78. I got binders full of women

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:38 am

79. Madigan turned my vest inside out

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:39 am

80. Playing with his ball of emotions

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 7:42 am

81. Don’t ask me I just got here

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 8:05 am

82. Four more years

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 8:08 am

83. Throwing GOP gang signs

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 8:09 am

84. nothing times nothing equals nothing

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 8:16 am

85. “This is how you do your hands to sing ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’”

    Comment by Nick Name Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 9:06 am

86. Poofy sleeves and my morning waist coat, I’m a pirate

    Comment by Rabid Wednesday, Nov 15, 17 @ 11:19 am

87. When evelyn go’s down I just pick her up by her head

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:02 am

88. Every king needs a queen to run with

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:08 am

89. This is how Diana goes noodling for big headed carp

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:15 am

90. Let me just wrap this up, madigan bad, me good

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:17 am

91. So I was wresling with my conscience and I won

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:35 am

92. You got to use both hands when you rip the guts out of Indiana

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:41 am

93. I just sold the patent to this to china

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:44 am

94. The Feds think I have a blind trust, and no contact

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:49 am

95. This is Illinois, I’m sure to be indicted

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 3:52 am

96. This is how you double dip in the guacamole

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 4:26 am

97. Freezing taxes is a ruse to end prevailing wage union jobs

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 4:31 am

98. When you repeat yourself as much as I do people don’t know I’m senile

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 4:38 am

99. You know what, I dream of Jennie

    Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 4:50 am

100. slite of hand sleight of mind

     Comment by Rabid Thursday, Nov 16, 17 @ 6:35 am

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