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Question of the day

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Illinois

* Rep. Jay Hoffman tells a joke…

* The Question: Caption? And, please, keep it clean. Thanks.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:23 pm

Comments

“I told Bruce he could come down here if he could name the Metro East counties without looking… he said he’d call me me back… that was 2016…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:27 pm
“And the little girl pointed at me and said, ‘Mayor Daley!’”

Comment by Dave Dahl Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:27 pm
“The Aristocrats”

Comment by Herky Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:28 pm
You still don’t have the hands right, JB. It’s like this.

Comment by stlboy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:29 pm
You build bridge after bridge and no one calls you a “bridge builder” but you…

Comment by Alternative Logic Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:29 pm
“Bruce said if I was smart I’d turn on the Dems and Madigan and work with him to gum up the works. Well, we all saw how that worked for Franks, Dunkin, and Drury… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:30 pm
“I like Sam McCann, I do… I’m just running out of quarters to wind him up… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:31 pm
“Republicans ask me all the time, switch parties, work with Bruce, they say… I say thanks, but I like causing $&@#% problems… “

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:34 pm
“And then I told them I endorsed JB for his policies!”

Comment by People Over Parties Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:35 pm
“Being a downstate Dem is tough… not as tough as being Ivy League educated, worth hundreds of millions and pretending you can’t say the letter G…”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:38 pm
To keep it clean, all I can say is Hoffman repeats a joke once told by the late St. Clair County Sheriff Mearl Justus.

Comment by Smitty Irving Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:38 pm
“I’m really Bruce Rauner without the phony costumes, the made-up accent, and about $6-700 million less in the bank”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:40 pm
The room busts out laughing as deja vu by Dionne Warwick plays softly in the background.

Comment by Baloneymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:43 pm
“it’s punkin’ head. Not potato head.”

Comment by Boone's is Back Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:43 pm
“A biker, a farmer, and a bidness man walk into a bar…”
“All Rauner!”
“Stop ruining my jokes, JB!”

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:43 pm
“There are times I’m sure I would like to vote with the governor but it’s more fun seeing Bruce seethe and whistle Durkin to his office”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:44 pm
“Every time I vote against the governor I send a ‘punkin’ to the fairgrounds and have it placed on the Director’s House’s front lawn”

Comment by Oswego Willy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:48 pm
“I’ll never forget the first time I saw Dick Durbin, standing up on a hill, his hair blowing in the breeze — and he too proud to run and get it.”

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:49 pm
$50, same as in town.

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:50 pm
So the doctor says “there’s my thermometer! Now where the heck did my pen go?”

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:50 pm
Moe and Larry guffaw after Curly accidentally hurts his hand.

Comment by Anon0091 Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:50 pm
Rod’s in prison and Shimkus is still in Congress.

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:52 pm
Because of Mike Madigan. I mean Dwight Kay.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:52 pm
“JB, I’d take the toilets out of my house too for a $230,000 tax break but it’s hard to remove an outhouse!”

Comment by Flat Bed Ford Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:53 pm
Do you believe Blago actually thought I liked him.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:53 pm
…and Rauner says to me, Jay, wait till you hear what else in on those FBI tapes.”

Comment by don the legend Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:55 pm
And then after this claim we should put cancer warning labels on liquor bottles, he suggested Congress should ban alcohol ads from TV.

Comment by Al Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:55 pm
And I said, “hey Daniel, why the long face?”

Comment by 47th Ward Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 3:57 pm
Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?

Comment by Silicon Prairie Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:02 pm
“Wrecked Him”?
“Darn near killed him!”

Comment by Oldie But Goodie Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:03 pm
So I said to Rauner, “JB has plenty of mansions, he’ll just sell that one you fixed up in Springfield and pay some of that interest you racked up.”

Comment by don the legend Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:09 pm
“I get no respect. I played hide and seek, they wouldn’t even look for me.”

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:11 pm
“Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, ‘Doc, I keep thinking I’m a dog.’ He told me to get off his couch.”

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:14 pm
“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I’d be honest.”

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:16 pm
“And then I said, ‘no, the Carhartt looks good on you!”

Comment by Flip357 Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:19 pm
“Hey everyone, I have a joke for ya……..Rauner.”

Comment by Just Saying Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:21 pm
…and then we re-drew legislative district lines for fair and equitable voting!

Comment by Motambe Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 4:25 pm
3 guys walk into a bar, a….; well these 3…

Comment by A guy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:11 pm
Let’s see, who’s gonna grab the check? The guy with his own money or one of us with other people’s money?
We’re Democrats. Let’s roll the dice.

Comment by A guy Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:13 pm
That’s “Hoffperson” to you.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:20 pm
Who wants a brewski with Bruce?

Comment by Henry Francis Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:31 pm
Henry Francis wins.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:32 pm
Henry. I didn’t think Jay Hoffman drank.

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 5:51 pm
“I’m not a member of any organized political party-I’m a Democrat.”

Comment by DuPage Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 6:32 pm
Yes Pat, I’d like to buy a G

Comment by Wilson Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 7:02 pm
People say I look like Louie Anderson, God rest his soul, but the only jokes I have are about Rauner.

Comment by XDNR Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 7:20 pm
Look, I’ll show you again - “This is the church, and this is the steeple. Open the doors……”

Comment by Stuntman Bob's Brother Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 7:38 pm
Can u believe people still believe that Illinois democrats are looking out for their best interests

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 8:16 pm
Yeah my constituents try to contact me too

Comment by Anon Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 8:53 pm
“Rauner and those silly Republicans still think they can get us to turn on our Union and Trial Lawyer friends!!!!” LOL

Comment by For Ever True Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 9:16 pm
Heck no, I’m not on any Blago FBI tapes. Waddya think I am, some sort sort of moron! Everyone knew he under investigation by then…

Oh,um, sorry JB…

Comment by Anonymous Thursday, May 3, 18 @ 9:21 pm
Hard Rock, Coco, and Jo

Comment by SAP Friday, May 4, 18 @ 9:14 am
They really believe we are looking out the the little guy.

Comment by Stand Tall Friday, May 4, 18 @ 1:11 pm