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* Your own favorite dad joke?…
Take a "gander" at FBI Springfield's visitors today! Being federally protected in combination with visiting a federal building gives them a double "web" of protection. A background check revealed dual citizenship. #CanadianGeese, #SillyGoose pic.twitter.com/4BPbTn0wsZ
— FBI Springfield (@FBISpringfield) March 9, 2021
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 2:55 pm
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Previous Post: S&P revises Illinois outlook from negative to stable based on cuts, proposed budget and “dissipated” political gridlock
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What a fowl joke.
Comment by The Opinions Bureau Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 2:56 pm
I don’t mind rain. Y’don’t hafta shovel it.
Comment by Proud Papa Bear Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:00 pm
But did they have a Real ID for access?
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:00 pm
At this office, what’s good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander.
Comment by Boone's is Back Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:01 pm
“Is this where they sell “American Human” coats, dad?
Comment by Ok Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:02 pm
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes “a parent.”
Comment by Saluki24 Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:15 pm
I don’t care if they are protected if you mess with FBI they have a sauce good for both goose and gander
Comment by DuPage Saint Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:16 pm
Duck, Duck, Goose said the FBI guy to the insurrectionists.
Comment by PublicServant Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:20 pm
Q. What do you get when you cross an elevator and an alligator?
A. An S-ca-lator!
I told my son that joke when he was 2 1/2 and we visited the Museum of Science and Industry for the first time. He had never ridden an escalator before, and theirs is 3 stories high. I could tell he was a little nervous, so I said the first stupid thing that popped into my head.
It was the first joke I ever told him, and he laughed all the way up the escalator making me tell him the joke over and over while mom took the stroller up the glass elevator, watching us laugh like fools.
At the top, he told her the joke, and then we told it to each other all day.
It’s really my only Dad Joke, but I figure if you have a really good Dad Joke, you only really need one.
Comment by Dave Clarkin Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:21 pm
Somebody has to have cleaned up the mess before that photo was taken.
Comment by Responsa Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:25 pm
It’s not ducky, but it quacks me up
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:30 pm
A man orders a large pizza. The chef asks if he wants it cut into eight or twelve slices. The man replies, eight. I don’t think I’m hungry enough for twelve.
Comment by Slugger O'Toole Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:52 pm
My son asked me to explain cloning because he didn’t think he understood the concept. I said, “that makes two of us”.
I’ll stop now.
Comment by Slugger O'Toole Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 3:57 pm
Passing a cemetery: “How many people are buried there? All of them.” Moan.You didn’t say they had to be good.
Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:04 pm
Everytime we were out for breakfast, Dad would ask the waitress if there were free coffee refills. Waitress said yes and Dad would say I’d like to order a refill please. I think it was an old WC Fields joke.
Comment by Orland (D) Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:13 pm
Definitely a flight risk.
Comment by lake county democrat Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:18 pm
When passing over railroad crossings my Grandfather would say a train must of just by, you can see the tracks.
Comment by FormerParatrooper Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:25 pm
They came for the fresh organic insect diet but felt goosed at the FOID they were offered.
Comment by Lurker Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:29 pm
Didn’t realize the Sfield FBI HQ is a no-fly zone.
Must be a Bailey for Gov rally … no masks.
Honk if you want the investigations to continue
Comment by Third Reading Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:54 pm
The last dad joke I remember my dad making:
My mom and dad got a new dishwasher for the kitchen. I asked my mom, “Hey, how’s that new dishwasher working out?” Dad said, “She talks a little too much, but does a good job.” My dad, the walking rimshot.
And my grandfather: If you said something a bit wacky or that he didn’t understand, he’d look up and say “There goes a flock of ‘em.”
Comment by kestrel Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 4:58 pm
Schmuck schmuck Bruce
Comment by AlfondoGonz Tuesday, Mar 9, 21 @ 8:41 pm
The original honkies.
Comment by Da Big Bad Wolf Thursday, Mar 11, 21 @ 9:07 am