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* Center Square…
Gov. J.B. Pritzker has signed Senate Bill 673, a bill that aims to help students find common ground when dealing with bullies rather than having them miss school.
Senate Bill 673 aims to help victims of bullying that are based on religion, race, ethnicity, or any other category that is identified in the Illinois Human Rights Act, instead of suspending students for bullying, school counselors and trained mediators would help guide the bully and the victim to find common ground.
Civil rights attorney and the author of the bill, Maaria Mozaffar, said this legislation finally gives students a chance to address their bullies in a non-confrontational manner.
“Think about all the students that have gone through bullying and how it scarred them because they did not know how to address it,” Mozaffar said. “This legislation gives those students a chance to deal with their problems.”
* The Question: Were you or any of your loved ones bullied in school? Tell us how it was dealt with.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:08 pm
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Teachers/administrators asked me if I wanted them to punish the kids, or call their parents. I always said no - I knew it would just make it worse. Probably not the best way to handle things all-around.
Comment by Oxfordian Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:18 pm
I was bullied as a freshman. Luckily, I had a teacher that was savvy enough to report it to the principal and a principal that out-bullied the bullies. I’m not sure if the principals tactics would be considered appropriate today, but they worked wonders in my situation. 40 years later, I am lucky enough to be able to thank the teacher and the principal every time I see them.
Comment by Downstate Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:20 pm
Over 50 years ago, was bullied in 7th grade. Was blamed for trying to defend myself. Nothing happened to the bullies.
Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:23 pm
My dad basically dealt with it similar to Ray from True Detective season 2.
Seriously though- there should be 0 tolerance for bullying. A child/ student is there to learn, not to be harassed. A students future should not be impaired because another student is bullying them. Expel them immediately and let the family figure it out.
Comment by Jim Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:25 pm
I’ve encountered more bullies in my life since leaving school than I ever met in school. Learning to stand up to them is a necessary life skill because you’ll come across them for the rest of your life.
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:25 pm
Catholic school methodology in the 70’s , bullies were dealt with using an eye for an eye. Sure the nuns/brothers punished you for retaliating, but they had tacit respect for you.
Comment by Donnie Elgin Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:37 pm
I was. Holy heck. To them, I was fat and ugly and continually, physically reminded of it, and punished for it at least weekly. Two things not covered under this law. It was terrible because there were three, always three. It was never addressed. The three went to a different HS and that’s when it ended. 4 years of awful. There is ZERO chance I would ever have sat down with them to “work it out.” What would I work out? A new haircut? Acne medicine? It’s a lovely thought, this Act. I never would have used it. That’s as true as I can claim something to be.
Comment by Miso Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:38 pm
- 47th Ward -
Quite right.
My father worked for Ma Bell and we moved around quite a bit when I was a kid. I was easy going and non-confrontational but learned I needed to fight the bully at every new school I transferred in to. Got pretty good at it. Such that as the bullies invariably were forced to work their way down the food chain to re-establish themselves after dealing unsuccessfully with me, I ended up stepping in to defend those kids as well. And there are times in this business, and in life generally, I feel I’m still doing that.
Comment by Hector Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:40 pm
Without sharing too much I am bullied extensively due to a medical condition all through my life. The part that honestly helps me is I think of the bullying that Monica Lewinsky was forced to endure all over the planet, and she has turned into a very charming adult. If she can take it and come out so wonderful, I can as well.
Comment by Just Me 2 Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:45 pm
It’s like environmental appointments and equity appointments … Feels good … Avoids solutions.
Tough to legislate morality. I do not know any solutions. I tell myself everyday ” quit hating”.
Comment by dave ristau Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:50 pm
I got the usual chubby teasing.
What was more important and troubling to me was my child acted out as a bully. I created a sign-off sheet that the teacher had to sign each day attesting to my child’s appropriate behavior. Failure to get a signature resulted in discipline that night. It worked. I only regret that it took another 20 years to discover the underlying cause of the behavior - a cry for help that was withheld because of a fear of my traditional GOP views.
Comment by Norseman Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:50 pm
Bullying often consists of criminal acts like assault. Maybe it should not be treated exactly like a crime at a young age, but it should be taken sufficiently seriously, including no-nonsense immediate cessation with real consequences. Sitting down together sounds like a solution thought of by the bullies.
Comment by Homer Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:54 pm
I was many times. And I also stood up to those who bullied others. No tolerance for this crap.
Comment by Shytown Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 3:59 pm
Bullied on the bus everyday. Grew up and got even.
Comment by Blue Dog Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:00 pm
I was in Jr. High and up through Freshman. We weren’t very well off and my hand me down clothes stuck out. My mother was a strong turn the other cheek type who abhored the idea of fighting. My Sophomore year my Dad changed those rules and it ended. I probably would have caught a case now. Not saying it was the best way to resolve it but it did.
I will say I don’t think telling the bullies being mocked for patched up hand me downs or getting gut punched hurt me would’ve helped. No matter how good the counselor was.
Comment by Mason born Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:01 pm
===how it was dealt with===
LOL. Well this was the mid 60’s to mid 70’s so there was no “restorative justice” only schoolyard justice. As Miso said I do not think anything in the Act would have applied to me.
I was born with one eye and have had a prosthetic eye since I was 3 yrs old. As an adult it is hard to tell my good eye from my prosthetic eye. But as a growing child there were days when it was obvious. So I was an easy target. I was never physically bullied but frequently verbally bullied. And sometimes the only way to stop the bullying was to stand up to the bully and fight.
The bullying ended around sophomore year in high school when I finished growing and was a lean 6′4″ 220lbs.
Comment by Big Jer Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:01 pm
Not bullied, but my brothers and I did get in trouble for responding to things.
This is feel-good work in lieu of actually doing anything.
Comment by Morty Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:02 pm
Back in the day, wasn’t everyone bullied one or the other?
=== Non-confrontational manner===
Good luck with that. Confrontational is all some understand
Comment by Bruce( no not him) Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:06 pm
My niece was bullied at school and on social media due to something her parents did. The school did nothing to stop it. She is currently being home schooled.
Comment by Mama Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:14 pm
Yes. A lot. The school wouldn’t do anything because the bullies were athletes. We tried to talk to the parents; they refused to believe anyone but their kid.
Complaining only ever escalated my situation. The bully always can recruit friends to do his work for him and give him plausible deniability… Or, they would just jump me three on one. I’m surprised more school shootings don’t happen where it’s a bullied student pushed to the brink and trying to equalize an unequal power relationship.
My coming of age may have come during the realization the school made rules only I ever followed, and nobody really got in that much trouble for breaking them, because it was all just a big game.
Comment by Give Us Barabbas Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:19 pm
What 47th Ward said.
Of course I was bullied as a kid (and as a kid). It wasn’t terrible, just every couple of months I needed to find a way to get out of an a$$ kicking. I have a sharp tongue and often times was able to talk myself out of the jam. Sometimes I would ridicule the h-e-double hockey sticks of the bully in front of others so that if he did lay a hand on me, the social consequence on him would be harsh and he would reconsider.
Going to a teacher/principal would just make it worse. I don’t see this legislation doing much to address bullying.
Comment by Henry Francis Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:21 pm
Yes. I was bullied.
I fought back when I could, dealt with it later if I could.
Adolescence is a tough business, that’s not snark or frivolous thought.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:26 pm
This bill seems well-intentioned, but what happens to the bullied kid on the way home after the non-confrontational meeting?
Comment by Friendly Bob Adams Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:30 pm
junior high hell from girls. one small group did not like that I talked to boys….ABOUT SCHOOL SUBJECTS…and they harassed me as if I was some harlot. despite my parents talking about it with the principal nothing was done. those girls turned out to be total zeroes, so there’s that.
Comment by Amalia Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:34 pm
I was bullied. The only times the school administration chose to address it was when I did something other than just do my best to ignore it. At those times administration’s approach involved a forced apology which did not change anything, or a private effort to try to make me feel pity for the person who was bullying me. Thankfully time passes, but bullies don’t go away. Sometimes they even find employers that shield and enable them.
Children have a right to an education. I don’t think the default expectation should be that a victim owes their tormentor a reconciliation or participation in a life lesson. In instances where the bullying is related to a protected status I think that is less so.
There is no middle ground for between a bigot or a racist and their victim. Only one of them is responsible for changing their outlook or learning to remain silent about their views because others have a right to access education.
If you want to stop bullies you have to create accountability. Suspension and expulsions are probably counter productive means of accountability, but without accountability why would the bully have any serious interest in reconciliation?
Comment by Candy Dogood Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:42 pm
I made sure to be nice to everyone as a way to avoid being bullied. Kids have alot more to deal with now as social media has created a new type of bully, that isn’t as easy to confront. So the law is a step toward helping, but I’m not sure it will work. Kids are really mean these days, as anything can be turned into a meme and shared with the world.
Comment by BluegrassBoy Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:42 pm
… I fought back when I could …
Springfield 186 has a policy that anyone who fights back will be punished along with the attacker.
You’re just supposed to take it and hope a school official intervenes.
It also means school “leaders” get to take the easy way out and don’t have to adjudicate who was the aggressor.
Comment by Asteroid of Caution Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 4:43 pm
– Springfield 186 has a policy that anyone who fights back will be punished along with the attacker.—
It was the same in my day. It was worth it.
Comment by Hector Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:23 pm
My brother was tormented by the captain of the football team and his buddies because he was scrawny (not covered in this law). For an entire year I’d listen to him cry himself to sleep through my bedroom wall. I’m choking up just typing this.
Fight back? LOL - they would’ve snapped him like a twig.
I am all for restorative justice but on the surface I am skeptical of this law.
Comment by Proud Papa Bear Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:24 pm
==Sitting down together sounds like a solution thought of by the bullies.==
This. Live to bully another day. Plus so much of this happens online (perhaps anonymously) that I’m not sure schools can enforce this type of “help”.
Said before. Silly feel good legislation.
Comment by Slugger O’Toole Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:25 pm
Had a paper route as a kid. I was a little bigger than most kids and somewhat uncoordinated. A group of bullies thought it was hilarious to trip me into bushes as I collected payments. Then football came into my life. Those guys never bothered me again after several one on one full contact drills.
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:30 pm
When my son was almost three, we moved next door to a psycho mom who taught her 2 girls to shout cheers with words demeaning my son. he did not even want to play on his new swing set until I taught him to say, “If you were a happy person you would have better things to do with your time.” I explained he could not sound upset or mad when he said it. Instead he had to say it like he was stating a fact such as today is Tuesday. Each time before he went outside he had to practice his line in a loud clear voice. On day five, he came inside with a giant smile as he informed me, “It worked!”
Comment by vive Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:32 pm
– Springfield 186 has a policy that anyone who fights back will be punished along with the attacker.—
And they’ve been known to back off fast when you threaten to sue them over documented instances where they did nothing …
Comment by RNUG Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:37 pm
The new law doesn’t read like the press. Funding for mediation with removed. Mediation was removed. Restorative justice yes, but common ground/trained mediators, I’m not seeing it.
Comment by eyeball Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:40 pm
There was a bully in my second grade class, one day, he turned his sights on me and made fun of my secondhand clothes.
My teacher had a collection of glass figures on her desk.
I slipped one of them off of her desk and into the pocket of my overalls, slipped it into his desk, and went back to work in my seat unnoticed.
When she realized her glass snoopy was missing she gave everyone a chance to come forward, no one did. Then she searched everyone’s desk, found it, and took the bully out in the hallway with her paddle.
I still remember him crying as he was being dragged out the door “I didn’t do it!” It was 1977, corporeal punishment was still a very real thing in public schools.
That afternoon on the playground, I told him i was the one who framed him, and made it clear things could get much worse.
I’m not saying it was the best solution, or the right solution, but not only did I not have any more problems with bullying, I don’t think anyone else in my grade had any more problems with bullying until junior high.
Comment by Second Grade Justice Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 5:53 pm
Bullied. Yeah I was bullied, from the 3rd grade on. In jr high it seemed like I was under a pile of guys or being chased home every day- good Christians that they all were. Mom tried Judo- but I wasn’t coordinated enough.
Puberty had come a little late and in the fall of my Freshman year I tried out for the gymnastics team- and while I wasn’t much of a gymnast- I suddenly developed.
The ringleader of the kids who had stalked me since jr high had followed me to high school- he went after me one last time.
I can still feel how hard I punched him 45 years later.
We were both suspended for 3 days. My parents were very proud. That was the end of it.
Comment by West Sider Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 6:17 pm
I don’t know if I like the “find common ground” refrain.
Mediation and alternate punishments are good. But if I’m being bullied for being gay the common ground is the other kid stops being a homophobe.
Comment by Nick Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 6:26 pm
I was bullied on my grade school bus. One day the bully asked what my name was. I told him “Tom.” He said that was his name too and stopped bullying after that. Guess you don’t bully someone who is like you, if only in name.
Comment by West Side the Best Side Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 6:38 pm
7th grade. Had gone on for a couple of years. One good shot to solar plexis left one of the jerks gasping for breath as he walked away. That pretty much ended it.
Comment by Captain Obvious Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 6:46 pm
Yes - I’d say “moderately” until high school. It wasn’t a big thing for school administrators in the day and I had enough friends to put up with it until they got bored and moved on. I applaud the state for doing something but agree that the “sit down/non-confrontational” approach seems wrong. They have zero tollerance for lots of thinggs, why not bullying too?
Comment by lake county democrat Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 7:02 pm
I was bullied from 2nd grade through high school. As a kid who had been advance a grade when we moved into my little farm town and so was smaller than pretty much everyone else, fighting back was never an option until I got to senior year, by which time I wasn’t interested in anything that might jeopardize graduating and leaving said little town in my rear-viee mirror.
Comment by thunderspirit Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 7:51 pm
Schools didn’t deal with bullying at school when I was coming up. We were totally on our own.
I was a shrimp of a girl. (In old age I’m still barely 5 feet tall.) But because I knew from home life that I could take a hit from an adult, there was no danger I’d be bullied by any kid, and no way I’d let my younger siblings be bullied. One Saturday morning, out on my bike (age 9 or 10, probably) I came across a neighbor, Bobby, whom I knew had been teasing my little brother. I was prepared to fight him on sight. But we ended up circling a cul de sac together, slo-mo, a few dozen times, talking. Bobby found out the teasing wasn’t being taken well, and I realized it wasn’t malicious. We parted on good terms.
I’m still bully-proof and believe my real achievement is that I have not become a bully myself.
Comment by yinn Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 7:53 pm
I was in the last freshman class at my high school that the administration allowed to be hazed by the juniors and seniors. Most of it was pretty harmless, but you learned to not loiter in the hallways or after school. A firiend of mine got it pretty bad and transferred to a private school. The next fall we got a new principal and the word went out to lay off the frosh.
Comment by Oldtimer Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 8:19 pm
I had to learn to fight back.
Comment by We've never had one before Wednesday, Sep 8, 21 @ 10:04 pm
I ‘m sure that The Center Square is bringing this up because they’re concerned about the victims of bullying, and not because the “Save The Billionaires” movement never misses an opportunity to demonize public education.
Comment by CEA Thursday, Sep 9, 21 @ 12:30 am