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Question of the day

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* I received one of those chain e-mail jokes today. I don’t get many of these (please, don’t “help” me get more) so I don’t know how old this one is, but I thought I’d use it as the setup to our Question of the Day. It’s been edited for length…

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure — right from Day One! — that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me…….

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth?’ That’s why they call it the ‘other side.’ Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where’s my gun?

* Question: How would our state’s leaders answer the eternal question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

…Adding… Notice, I said “leaders” with an “s.” Try to come up with answers for as many people as possible, please. Thanks.

posted by Rich Miller
Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:44 am

Comments

To move the chicken to Southern Illinois awy from Springpatch forever.

Comment by blagoman Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:48 am
GOVERNOR ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
“Because there were 1.4 million uninsured Illinoisans on the other side”

Comment by GoBearsss Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:49 am
Notice, I said “leaders” with an “s.” Try to come up with answers for as many as possible, please. Thanks.

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:50 am
Sorry, Rich, there’s only one leader in this state. The rest are just no-bags and wait-and-seers.

Ok, fine, I’ll do the rest.

Comment by GoBearsss Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:51 am
Rod Blagojevich: The chicken crossed the road to prove to disbelieving citizens and legislators that the governors new $50 million unfunded initiative to set up protected ‘chicken crossings’ on all rural roads was indeed justified.

Michael Madigan: The chicken crossed the road to see if it was safe for Lisa before she attempted to cross in her bid to become the next governor.

Emil Jones: I will not allow the chicken to cross the road until it gets permission from me and gives me credit for allowing it to pass.

Patrick Fitzgerald: The chicken was wearing a wire and crossed the road so he could attend a meeting between Rezko and Blago.

train111

Comment by train111 Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:52 am
Blago campaign team:
To do things for people.
The chicken crossed the road? What was she thinking?

Hastert and Poshard:
The chicken tried to cross the road, but the road was in disrepair. We need a capital bill.

Alexi:
To put all its eggs in the family bank.

Mike Madigan, Pat Quinn, Jack Franks:
To vote for recall.

Emil:
To get to the public assistance office.

Comment by Balance Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:55 am
MICHAEL MADIGAN:
The chicken crossed the road for one reason - Governor Blagojevich. We didn’t want it to cross the road, but he has forced our hand.

EMIL JONES:
That chicken saw the light, and came over to the democratic side of the aisle, erm, road. Your chamber is driving all the chickens away. The chickens have come home to roost. This is my house!

DAN HYNES:
There were actually three different chickens that crossed the road. Four chickens, can you believe that? I can’t believe the Governor let five chickens cross the road.

ALEXI GIANNOULIAS:
My friend Barack Obama was calling me a chicken just the other day. So I took him to the hole, and he took a charge. That takes guts.

LISA MADIGAN:
I don’t know. Dad?

Comment by GoBearsss Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:57 am
Rod Blagojevich:

I’m announcing today that Illinois will embark on a plan to spend $100 billion building bypasses over every road in the state to ensure that Illinois’ chickens have safe way to cross the road.

Anyone who opposes this plan will reveal themselves as being anti-chicken. Our state legislators have gotten fat on daily breakfasts of Eggs Benedict paid for by lobbyists, so they will be hypocrites if they oppose this. I’m the only one in Illinois looking out for the needs of the chickens.

And even if the fat, egg benedict eating legislators oppose me on this, it doesn’t matter, because I will implement this plan regardless of what the uncaring legislature does.

Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Friday, May 9, 08 @ 10:58 am
My apologies to train111, but I hadn’t seen his post before I wrote mine. I guess this one was just too easy.

Comment by Don't Worry, Be Happy Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:00 am
We don’t need no damn research to find out why thge chicken crossed the road!!!!

Comment by Dan S, a Voter & Cubs Fan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:05 am
BLAGO: The chicken crossed the road that ROD BLAGOJEVICH got built and the chicken knows this because ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s name is on all of the signs by the road and so the chicken believes that ROD BLAGOJEVICH is a good governor and ROD BLAGOJEVICH knows nothing of financial improprieties and ROD BLAGOJEVICH should be elected to a third term.

PATRICK FITZGERALD: Subpoena that chicken. It’s bound to give better testimony than Levine.

JIM OBERWEIS: The chicken saw some immigrants at the border and was trying to warn us!

MAYOR DALEY: Because the chicken loves children and wants a children’s museum in Millennium Park. It’s not some child-hating freak like others in this town.

Comment by Boone Logan Square Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:06 am
ROD BLAGOJEVICH:
I was in my car this morning and a chicken crossed the road, came up to my window and said, “Oh my God, it’s Mayor Daley!” Did I mention that the chicken was a little African-American girl?

MAYOR DALEY:
The chicken was attempting to avoid the racist child-haters in the 42nd Ward.

EMIL JONES:
Can I buy chicken with foodstamps? I can? Now I really gotta get me some foodstamps!

MICHAEL MADIGAN:
I don’t know because I refuse to return the chicken’s calls or meet with the chicken on any subject whatsoever. Ask Barbara.

FRANK WATSON:
The Democrat Party has run yet another taxpayer out of Illinois.

TOM CROSS:
I need to have a caucus first.

JACK FRANKS:
This is yet another reason why we must impeach Rod Blagojevich!

SUSAN GARRETT:
We don’t have chickens in Richville. How gauche.

BRANDON PHELPS:
Where’s my gun?

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:07 am
Rich Miller:

SUBSCRIBERS ONLY - Chicken’s Motivation
This post is password protected.

Comment by so-called "Austin Mayor" Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:08 am
Blago: I haven’t been watching the chicken. I am unaware of it’s motivation. The chicken is obvio….

[gets into black suv]

Comment by dan l Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:21 am
Blago: The hard working chicken was crossing the road to avoid an income tax increase that Mike Madigan was trying to impose on it.
-or-
On the other side of the road is free healthcare for all chickens.

Emil: I need a chicken! I need a chicken!

Mike Madigan had no comment about the chicken. Steve Brown did tell members of the press about the chicken recently bumping its head.

Comment by Bluefish Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:22 am
Mike Madigan: No Comment. My favorite Beatle is not a chicken, Miller. Steve….get the golf cart.

Emil Jones: The Chicken was attending the fine institution of higher learning: Chicago State. I have provided funding to make the chicken crossing the best chicken crossing of any of the state universities.

Rod Blagojevich: I never discussed a state contract with the chicken. He crossed the road out of a deep felt desire to change business as usual in Springfield.

Frank Watson: The Governor refused to meet with me again about the chicken. I’ll let you know in June.

Tom Cross: Probably like everyone else around here, the chicken is trying to give me a headache. No I have not talked to the Governor nor the chicken.

Dan Hynes: The chicken was avoiding the coming fiscal trainwreck on the other side.

Alexi: I stuffed him going to the basket and he was embarrassed.

Jesse White: I stopped paying attention to the chickens and just do my job.

LMadigan: To avoid an online predator on Myspace.

Pat Quinn: He was a hardworking signature gatherer for me and wanted to get a couple more people on the petition.

Comment by archpundit Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:24 am
Gov. Blagojevich: Today, I made Illinois a better place by getting a chicken across a road.

Sen. Jones: Because it smelled the corn a-cookin’.

Sen. Watson: Because it’s on its way to Indiana, to get one of the jobs that’s left Illinois.

Speaker Madigan: No comment.

Rep. Cross: Because it wanted to inspect the deplorable conditions on our roads, emphasizing that we need a capital bill.

Dan Hynes: Because there’s no money on this side of the road. Of course, there’s no money on the other side of the road either.

Lt. Gov Quinn: To attend a rally for chicken’s rights. It’s shameful how we treat our chickens here in Illinois. We can do better, and I have a plan to solve this problem.

William Holland: We don’t actually have confirmation that the chicken crossed the road. Moreover, the chicken appears to have shed significant feathers, had improper conversations with other chickens, and laid eggs that are undersized for the way they’re being marketed.

Comment by Gus Frerotte's Clipboard Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:28 am
Jim Thompson: We will not be using taxpayer funds for the chicken.

Sam Zell: Chicken or the egg? As long as I can sell them separately

Todd Stroger: Donna Dunnings told me chickens have resulted in a structural deficit.

Comment by The Doc Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:28 am
Blago: Damn good question. I propose that all poultry receive free rides on public transportation.

Dan L (I’m not a leader, but I play one on TV): Who knows why ILGOP does anything these days?

Comment by dan l Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:28 am
Blago: I am not party to that chicken crossing the road so it would be inappropriate for me to comment on it.

Blago 2: Anyone who knows me or how I do business knows that I don’t associate with cross-dressing chickens.

Fitz: We have uncovered evidence of endemic chicken crossing.

Comment by Leave a light on George Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:34 am
Mayor Daley: Chicken? What chicken? What does he want me to take down my pants?

Chicago Tribune: The chicken crossed the road to avoid taking a stand on the most important issue of the day–a Tyson recall. You must call the chicken at …-…-…. and insist that the chicken takes the correct position on the recall as it is the most important issue evah!

John Kass: The chicken was crossing the road to avoid my tough questions about a lawsuit with someone who the chicken is only marginally related. The combine strikes again!

Dawn Clark Netsch: The chicken is going to an interest group meeting that will seek to actually influence a con-con and as such must be stopped. Interests of people must not be represented when dealing with the Illinois Constitution.

Jim Edgar: Back in my day the chickens did not cross the road. I’m sorry–I didn’t hear that question about the MSI chicken

Comment by archpundit Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:36 am
BILL BLACK:
Chickens? Chickens? Why are we talking about chickens when the Democrats won’t let my bill to the floor that would lower the sales tax on gasoline?

RON STEPHENS:
Yeah. What Black said.

LOU LANG:
Mr. Black, what does the sales tax on gasoline have to do with the current debate on my very important bill to prevent chickens from crossing roads? Can we please get back to the topic at hand?

TOM CROSS:
Mr. Speaker, the Republicans request a caucus.

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:39 am
Mayor Daley: Because the chicken was trying to get a job on the other side, to escape the violence that guns bring to his neighborhood.

Senator Hendon: We don’t need a study to tell us why the chicken was trying to cross the road! He was running from the guns! No more guns!

Governor Blagojevich: What he said!

Comment by The Guild of Calamitous Intent Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:40 am
The Chicago Tribune has just reported that it was not a chicken that crossed the road but rather it is rumored that it was Tony Rezko dressed in a chicken suit trying to jump bail and escape.

Comment by Leave a light on George Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:43 am
Blago (through a spokesman–”the Governor is too busy working to get Healthcare for chickens of Illinois to comment on this”
Jesse–To sign up for Organ Donation Program that I have stressed in my tenure.
Stronger–I don’t know but I am going to put a tax on crossing the road
Madigan — Because of the failure of the Senate and the Governor to be Leaders.
Ricky–I don’t know, but it has a BAD HAIR DO!
Emil–To get food stamps for me because I am broke.
Larry Bomke–See, another job leaving Springfield, Impeach the Governor!

Comment by He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:43 am
Madigan: “Is this some kind of joke?”

Blagojevich: “It was forced to cross the road which I’ve also crossed. Mr. Cross! Save that chicken!

Jones: “It was forced to cross the road because Mr. Cross wanted to eat raw chicken. What did I say?”

Halvorson: “What Emil just said.”

Giannoulais: “The chicken crossed the road?.”

Hynes: “Worst, this isn’t the only chicken! We are seeing flocks of chickens crossing roads. Roads full of pot holes. Pot holes filled with boiling water. And Lava! Did I mention lava?”

Obama: “He didn’t say that. He said the chickens are coming home to roost, not cross the road. And I don’t only eat organic free-range chicken that has been humanely killed by bitter Pennsylvanians.”

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:43 am
Homer Simpson: “Chicken - Mmmmmm!”

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:46 am
To trick Rich Miller into calling Blago a leader!

Comment by undecided Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:46 am
DALE RIGHTER:
Mr. President! Mr. President! I move that we discharge SB 9846 from Rules Committee so that we may discuss our important Republican bill to prevent municipalites from preventing chickens from crossing roads.

EMIL JONES:
Sen. Righter, I remember back when the Republicans ran this chamber the Democrats had a chicken bill and Pate Philip would not allow it out of Rules Committee. You didn’t do anything about our chicken bill! So I don’t want to hear you complain about your chicken bill [inaudible].

FRANK WATSON:
Mr. President, the Republicans request an immediate caucus. [Throws copy of chicken bill at the podium]

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:48 am
Speaker: Because you only get one big chicken

S. Pres.: Because that chicken was playin’ chicken with my caucus

Sen. Hendon: Because that chicken was pimpin’!

Rep. Black: What I’d really like to know is why that chicken Froehlich crossed the aisle!! . . . Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for that outburst. It certainly not becoming of a member of this august body.

Comment by anon Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:52 am
Bill Black: “It wasn’t a chicken - it was a turkey!”

Bomke; “It was forced to cross by a governor out of control!”

Mayor Daley: “First, they hate children, second, they force chickens to cross roads!”

Topinka: “You wanna see a bird? - I’LL show you a bird!”

Thompson: “It’s good that we still have a chicken around to cross something that looks like a road here in Illinois.”

George Ryan: “Madigan and I had an understanding that chickens were not to cross roads while I was governor.”

Rezko: “To plea-bargain.”

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:52 am
Blago- Which time? The chicken crossed there, then it took 3 steps and crossed down there, and there, and there, and there until the farmer had had enough.
Emil- Because Blago’s chicken did.
Madigan- The chicken crossed the road to get Blago to sign the MOU guaranteeing a sidewalk overpass would be built. The chicken did not make it back.

Comment by Shallow Pharnyx Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:53 am
Blago: “Because there was a campaign contibution from Rezko from the other side of the street, and we can’t let that go to waste, can we?”

Todd Stroger: “Hey, i know that chicken. he used to work for my father. Is he on the payroll?”

Mike Madigan: “What chicken? i didn’t see any chickens. That’s a goose.”

Lisa Madigan: “If the chicken gets hot by a car along the way, I will conduct an investiagtion into how the chicken got hit, and how to prevent further chickens from suffering the same fate.”

Mayor Daley: “How the hell do I know where the bird is going. What am i, a poultry mindreader or something?”

Peter Roskam: “Not sure. But i can tell you the chicken is not just bailing out of Iraq, and is committed to the policies of President Bush”

Obama: “For a change.”

Ozzie Guillen: “The (bleeping) bird needs to learn how to hit better, and not throw to the wrong (bleeping) base. He may want to get to the other (bleeping) side, but he missed the damn sign from the 3rd base coach telling him to hold up, then he gets clipped at the (beeping) plate. He’s gotta go out there and make plays and stop (inaudable ranting….)

Comment by pickles!! Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:55 am
Blagojevich: “So, all in all, it was an ‘up’ day.”

Comment by VanillaMan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 11:55 am
Dan Kotowski Opponents: To get our guns! The chicken and Kotowski are leading a plot to give the UN control of the United States.

Kwame Raoul: The chicken was told by Frerichs that I was the next Barack Obama and interviewed me for 1 hour asking me about when I was running for President.

Carol Pankau: The chicken was curious if daylight savings time was different on the other side of the street.

Chris Lauzen: He crossed the road because it’s a horrible, horrible business and I don’t know why anyone bothers with it.

Aaron Schock: The chicken is taking a hard line by proliferating foxes to different hen houses so they will comply with our wishes.

Froelich: The chickens tormented him until he left.

Hendon: No chicken joke can out do him yesterday.

Fritchey: The chicken was a HUGE KRS One fan.

Comment by archpundit Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:04 pm
Mayor Daley: Chickens cross roads. They cross alleys. They cross highways. Everybody knows that. Why do they cross roads? One word. For the children of the City of Chicago. And chickens remember. They don’t forget. They have great rememories. Everybody knows that…

Blago: I can’t comment on any ongoing chicken-crossing. I’m not a party to any chicken-crossing. We don’t do business that way.

Hendon: Have you seen that chicken’s coop across the road? He don’t need no new coop. It’s mind-boggling.

Jones: We’re going to take the chicken that crossed the road and improve it. Make it extra-crispy.

Madigan (in a letter to House members). It has come to our attention that a chicken has crossed the road. It is my duty to inform you that this extra-constituional road-crossing….

Pat Fitzgerald: We are currently investigating allegations of endemic chicken-crossing in this administration.

Comment by wordslinger Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:06 pm
Tim Cain (Herald & Review): I don’t know ANYTHING about the chicken crossing the road to find Matt Damon. I don’t know if it saw Matt Damon. I do know a chicken most definitely won’t run into Matt Damon in a bar, AND IT SHOULDN’T GET IT’S CHICKEN HOPES UP. I don’t know anything except there will be no chicken Matt Damon interaction.

Comment by Rayne of Terror Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:06 pm
Forrest Claypool: Yet another example of widespread patronage and bloat

Abby or Rebecca: At no time has this administration engaged in road crossings involving chickens, turkeys, or any other type of poultry.

Blago: As a result of my idea, there are now 150 new chickens on the other side of the road.

Comment by The Doc Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:09 pm
Illinois Taxpayers: The chicken crossed the road to file impeachment papers.

Comment by Status Quo Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:18 pm
BLAGOJEVICH:
You know, that’s a good question. Let me answer that question with an answer. Next question?

OBAMA:
As you know, I’ve been pretty busy with this presidential campaign so I just didn’t hear anything about a chicken crossing a road. Chablis?

BILL BEAVERS:
To get a better suit!

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:21 pm
I can answer that question with an answer.

Chicken:
I crossed the road to show the Illinois State Legistator’s how to do it without getting hit by a bus. BTW. Who was that little helmut hair guy driving that bus? And why is that Madigan guy still on the other side glaring at me with his arms crossed?

Comment by Anonymous Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:23 pm
Dang Rich. You beat me by two minutes.

Comment by Anonymous Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:24 pm
Blago - The chicken did not cross the line, or road, when he asked Sen. DeLeo for Miley Cyrus tickets. Hey look, there’s another chicken (points one way and runs the other)

Daley - This is silly. Silly, silly, silly. Look at that chicken. It’s bald. Ha ha ha. And it crossed the road. Silly.

Stroger - It crossed the road because it is qualified to cross the road. Not because I once ate his cousin, his sister, and his brother. I mean, come on. Everyone else lets chickens cross the road. Boo yah.

John Kass - It heard about my great stuffed beer can chicken. Or whatever that silly recipe I talk about.

Alexi - I was not aware that chicken was going to set up an illegal operation after it crossed the road. It had a good credit score and that is why I approved his loan to cross the road.

Lovie Smith - That chicken is our quarterback.

Comment by John Paxson Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:27 pm
Madigan: The chicken didn’t cross the road for fear of getting thrown under the speeding bus, which was heading for the Mexican border.

Comment by Wacker Drive Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:27 pm
SPIN SISTERS:
We have the answer, but you’ll have to file a FOIA request, which we will most certainly deny.

KEN DUNKIN:
There’s chicken? Nobody said there’d be chicken. Cool.

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:28 pm
Blagojevich: “See? Roads. It just goes to show you that if we can provide roads for hard-working Illinois chickens like this one, they will cross them, just like chickens did when my humble, hard-working immigrant parents did”.

Madigan: “I think that’s a question that you need to ask Mr. Chicken”.

Jones: “Nobody’s ever questioned why the chicken has crossed the road before, and now everyone is asking, ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’. You want my answer? It’s what chickens do.”

Cross: “Why did the chicken CROSS the road? How about ‘why did the chicken MADIGAN the road?’”

Watson: “This is ridiculous. We’re sitting around still trying to get that question answered. ‘Why did the chicken cross the road?’ It’s a simple question, and STILL no answers from the second floor.”

Comment by Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:28 pm
Emil - For food stamps and a raise.

Comment by Northside Bunker Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:33 pm
Gov: The chicken saw what goes on Springpatch and chose to move beyond the usual politics and toward reform and renewal which was on the other side in Benton.

Jones: The chicken knew there was a pay raise for me and my wife and went and got it.

Madigan: Because Barbara was busy and I won’t cross the road if Emil in on the other side.

Cross: Because our member projects were over there.

Watson: Because Cross said there were member projects over there.

Comment by Well Give It At Try Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:47 pm
Blago: Because it was able to walk thanks to my Illinois Covered program.

Emil: Because it was on strike for a pay increase.

Madigan: Because I wouldn’t return it’s call, nothing and no one else is going to get a chance to lie again, ever!

Lisa: Because I said it was a law against chickens being on the side it was already on.

Alexi: Because it was afraid I’d hurt it in a game of “chicken.”

Franks: Because I believed there was a demand for recall throughout the state. (but it wasn’t about chicken)…

Fitzgerald: Everything crosses to cut a deal with me at some point or I will send it back to the chop house!

Comment by reasonable 1 Friday, May 9, 08 @ 12:49 pm
Although he is not now, nor will he ever be a “leader…”

KEN DUNKIN:

“The roads must be made safe from chickens crossing the road while using their cell phones!”

Comment by phocion Friday, May 9, 08 @ 1:16 pm
ROD: When the chicken crossed the tollway, did he see my name as he went through the open road tolls?

JESSE: The chicken violated the rules of the road. Throw the vehicle code at it.

DALEY: The chicken should be cooped in a wrought-iron cage and served by Charlie Trotter to the Olympics committee.

CROSS: Did someone call my name? I had nothing to do with this chicken business. Let’s save the chicken’s remains for stem-cell research.

MADIGAN: The chicken crossed the road to avoid the ugliness of Mike Flannery’s shirt.

AL GORE: The movements of poultry across busy thoroughfares is directly related to the expansion of the carbon footprint.

OBAMA: The chicken had spent far too much time in Indiana and North Carolina for his liking.

EMIL: I can barely afford chicken based on my poultry salary.

Comment by Jake from Elwood Friday, May 9, 08 @ 1:19 pm
Rich wins…

Rich any chance you would gather some of your quotes and put them on a shirt along with the QOTD?

Comment by Ghost Friday, May 9, 08 @ 1:22 pm
Gov. B: The chicken would not have had to cross the road if Speaker Madigan would allow the House to vote on the fund sweep. Without those funds, the chicken will be stuck on the other side of the road.

Madigan: We had an agreement to allow the chicken to stay on this side of the road, but the Governor has gone back on his promise.

Hendon: The House agreed to let the chicken stay on this side of the road because they new that we would end up making it cross.

Quinn: I have proposed an amendment that will let the voters decide whether or not the chicken has to cross the road.

OMB: The funds were not available to allow the chicken to stay on this side of the road. We had to make it cross over.

Gov office press release: The chicken has been picked up and taken to our new chicken support facility in Sen. Sitting on the Fence’s district and will provide needed jobs in that area.

Comment by Pot calling kettle Friday, May 9, 08 @ 1:40 pm
BO: To join the other super-delegates.

Comment by anon Friday, May 9, 08 @ 1:42 pm
Blago: The chicken couldn’t afford NOT to cross the road.

Miller: The chicken crossed the road to be with other original chickens, not the same old boring chickens.

Daley: We don’t want no chicken nobody sent.

Stroger: Look a chicken. Isn’t it pretty. Me wants its.

Madigan: I sent it.

Jones: My supermajority is ok with it.

Comment by The Ibenidiot Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:26 pm
Blagojevich: I wouldn’t know. We don’t do things that way in this administration.

Emil Jones: Because that chicken needed foodstamps and couldn’t even afford to take the bus.

Mike Madigan: Clearly the chicken cross the road because he was about to get run over by the governor’s bus (said through his spokesperson).

Tom Cross: What chicken?!

Frank Watson: You wanna know why the chicken crossed the road?! I’ll tell you why! Because this governor ran that chicken out of this side of the road. That chicken doesn’t have a chance under this administration. Why did the chicken CROSS THE ROAD!!!! TO KEEP FROM GETTING KILLED!! THAT’S WHY!!! WOULD YOU STAY STANDING STILL ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH THIS ADMINISTRATION?! I SURE WOULDN’T. MY GOSH!!!! I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT! THIS ADMINISTRATION, WITH THE HELP OF THE LEADER IN THIS VERY CHAMBER HAS SUNK TO LEVELS UNPRECENDENTED IN ILLINOIS! IT’S A DISGRACE!!!!! AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE!!!! THAT’S WHY THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD!!!! AND I HOPE WE DON’T COME TO A DAY VERY SOON WHERE WE DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY MORE CHICKENS LEFT IN THE STATE!!!!!

Ricky Hendon: The chicken was just another rich chicken that’s too good for us regular legislators that need a raise. The chicken don’t need a raise, we do!

Andy McKenna: Stunned silence at the question.

John Fritchey: After a very long process - a year in the making - the chicken finally came to an agreement that the other side of the road is the way to go. However, I won’t pretend to suggest that the chicken is guaranteed to stay on the other side. We’ll have to see what happens. This has been a year-long process that’s long overdue and I would hope that noone would sabotage the chicken finally being able to cross the road.

Jack Franks: The chicken crossing the road is the best evidence yet that we need to impeach the governor.

Pat Quinn: It’s not Sunday. I don’t answer questions like that unless it’s Sunday.

Dick Durban: After these last seven years of President Bush, is it any wonder the chicken crossed the road?! If you were living under a Nazi regime, wouldn’t you want to cross the road to get away from it too? The responsibility of this and any other problem (perceived or real) rests squarely on President Bush and he can’t escape that.

Comment by Amuzing Myself Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:36 pm
Bill Bevers:
Because the rooster with the big nuts was on the other side

Gov B:
Because it was the best way to avoid questions

Comment by OneMan Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:40 pm
Tom Cross: My chickens crossed the road to vote for the Governor’s healthcare plan in JCAR.

Emil: My chicken crossed the road and asked to be removed as Rules Committee Chair.

Watson: My chicken crossed the road to cut a commercial for Obama.

Madigan: My chicken crossed the road to be a state agency director.

Comment by Truth Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:45 pm
Mike Madigan: I have one question for the chicken. When it reaches the other side, will it vote for me for speaker?

Dick Durbin: He was traveling across state lines to help Obama’s campaign for President.

Pat Quinn: To reach another press conference.

Jim Oberweis: To run for another elected office.

Rod Blagojevich: To bring more eggs to an economically depressed region of the state.

Bill Cellini: We need new and better roads for the chicken to cross.

Lisa Madigan: The chicken was a registered sex offender attempting to maintain the required legal distance from a school.

Barack Obama: Because the chicken was likable enough.

Comment by Sango Dem Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:49 pm
Truth, that was sharp.

Amuzing Myself, that Watson impersonation was incredible. I could hear his voice.

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:49 pm
Just read your entries, Rich! Too funny. Especially Franks!

Comment by Amuzing Myself Friday, May 9, 08 @ 2:49 pm
Blago: Obviously to get to the magnificent guverner rooster with the beautiful comb and all that testicular virility on the other side.
Madigan: More smoke and mirrors from guv - the preening rooster do nothing!
Emil: Apparently it heard there was a BBQ with plenty of free pork.
Hendon: To pick up some food stamps for Emil and Rod.
Bill: To join our magnificent governor in an on site press release announcing the first chicken crossing in the nation.
Citizen A: To get to a different computer to post a comment and not be deleted.

Comment by A Citizen Friday, May 9, 08 @ 3:17 pm
Phil Hare-om nom nom nom

Comment by Wumpus Friday, May 9, 08 @ 3:30 pm
Froehlich - Farmer Madigan had more feed and he pwomised not to send the wolves after me.

Comment by Wumpus Friday, May 9, 08 @ 3:33 pm
PATE PHILIP:
Because he didn’t belong in DuPage County.

Merry Christmas!

Comment by Rich Miller Friday, May 9, 08 @ 3:46 pm
BLAGOJEVICH:
That chicken crossed the road because he is one of 72 million chickens in this state without healthcare. He was trying to get to a vet’s office that accepts state payment through our Every Fowl Covered plan. He needed a bird flu vaccine. We bought that vaccine below wholesale from France. They have some great Chardonnay from France. It’s just great. I had some in California during a fund-raising dinner of coq-au-vin before I flew back for a Bulls’ game. You ever been to a Bulls’ game? A Bulls’ game is always better when you’re flying to it with a belly full of chicken and wine.

SEN. JONES:
That chicken is trying to cross that road between poverty and prosperity by going to Chicago State University, the greatest educational institution in the state where he could learn all about feathering nests and the pecking order. I need to get me a chicken like that.

DOUG WHITLEY:
Why did the chicken cross the road??!!?? To leave the horrible business climate that is Illinois. Taxes and fees have chased 63% of our egg production to neighboring states–states that are capitalizing on our lack of leadership. Governor Blagojevich thinks he’s the c*ck of the walk, but when it comes to chickens, he’s made me madder’n a wet hen. Let’s cut the fees and get the chickens and their eggs back in Illinois’s basket!

SEN. HALVORSON:
I fully support the chicken crossing the road. In fact, I co-sponsored a bill that allows chickens to cross roads in an ethical way. The bill hasn’t made it out of committee yet, and I don’t know why. But when it does, I’ll vote for it even if I’m in Washington because I believe so very strongly in ethical chickens.

Emil, tell me when the chicken can cross. OK?

GLENN POSHARD:
The chicken crossed that road to illustrate the need for a capital plan. Our roads are in deplorable shape. Our univerisities even more so! We can’t even keep the facade on Morris Library down in Carbondale. If we could, then our students could plagiarize papers on how musical chancellors make road-crossing chickens better educated.

Comment by Fan of the Game Friday, May 9, 08 @ 3:50 pm
A few more names:

Forby: I don’t have a clue why the chicken crossed the road.

Adlai Stevenson III: The chicken crossed the road to get a feel of the “inch of pre-election asphalt.”

Richie Daley: Whaddaya mean, cross the road? Which road? Look, you wanna scrooten the chicken, go ahead! The road, scrooten that too! We go nothin’ to hide here in the great City a Chicaguh.

Stu Levine: Wha…Wha…Wha…did…di…di….di…I…I….wa…wa..wa…Tony…Tony….what was the question?

AA: To get away from Pee Wee Herman.

Pee Wee Herman: Come on AA, that was a long time ago.

Bill: The chicken crossed the road to tell the assembled media that Governor Blagojevich has done nothing wrong.

Comment by Arthur Andersen Friday, May 9, 08 @ 4:03 pm
Rep. Poe: Because we couldn’t get the frier turned on fast enough.

Rep. Saviano: Because he knew running against me was not a healthy decision.

Speaker: We will hold regional meetings around the sate to let the people know the costs of the chicken’s actions and to hear their priorities for the chicken.

Rod: I will call a special session to force the chicken to come back across the road. (It is summertime)

Comment by hmmm Friday, May 9, 08 @ 4:08 pm
GRod — The chicken crossed the road because I had the courage to make that road safe for chicken crossings.

EJones — Aw Jeez, I don’t want to talk about some chicken crossing a darn road. I’m about to go on food stamps.

PQuinn — As a matter of fact, under my ‘ChickensAcrossRoads’ initiative, Illinois is the 4th ranked state for chicken crossings.

MMadigan — It appears that a chicken may have crossed a road. We do not yet know what the significance of that may be.

LMadigan — I will protect the citizens of Illinois by preventing stray chickens, or any chickens brought in from China, to compromise the safety of Illinois motorists by crossing roads.

AGiannoulias — If you were a good looking chicken whose dad owned a bank, you’d be crossing that road too.

DHynes — Chickens cross roads for the same reason that creditors demand payment.

JWhite- What a great day for a road crossing! We should all go out and cross that road.

Comment by Quizzical Saturday, May 10, 08 @ 12:51 am