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* The Illinois Tollway has a new mascot…

The newest mascot on the scene is the Illinois tollway’s Captain Tollway, a cross-eyed caped crusader with a face that only the mother of Royal Canadian Mountie Dudley DoRight could love.

It’s hard to imagine Captain Tollway experiencing life in the fast lane with i-Zoom Girl, the buxom mascot for the Indiana Toll Road’s i-Zoom toll transponder system. A Hoosier hot to trot, i-Zoom Girl’s orange hair matches the orange chevrons decorating her knee-high boots.

Still, with the Memorial Day weekend officially kicking off the summer driving season, Captain Tollway is ushering in the “Know Before You Go” campaign of the Illinois State Toll Highway Authority.

And here he is…

* Question: Come up with mascots for both the Illinois House and the Illinois Senate.

Bonus question: How about a mascot for the governor?

…Adding… Some of these responses aren’t as self-evident as you may think they are, so I’m gonna ask that you explain your nominations. Thanks.

posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:16 am

Comments

Rod Blagojevich: Wile E. Coyote - super genius
Illinois House: Road Runner
Illinois Senate: Acme (cause all their stuff breaks)

Comment by Name Withheld Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:20 am
Rod: Tennessee Tuxedo (plans never work out)
House: Cosmo from Fairly Odd-Parents
Senate: Carl from Jimmy Neutron Boy Genus (never quite with the plan)

Comment by OneMan Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:32 am
Gov: Dudley Do Right
House: Underdog
Senate: Sniveling Snidley

Comment by Levois Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:33 am
Illinois Senate: Rich Uncle Pennybags (from Monopoly) wearing the barrel outfit you get when you have to pay the $15 ‘poor tax.’
Illinois House: the ’speak-no-evil’ monkey
Governor: The Chicago Cubs. No matter the odds, he just keeps plugging away hoping someone will buy into his plan to sell all the state’s assets so he can move on to higher office.

Comment by Vote Quimby! Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:34 am
Rod: Goofy
House: Bugs Bunny
Senate: Elmer Fudd

Comment by The Three Stooges? Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:37 am
The House, Senate and The Gov.: The Three Little Pigs…

Comment by Anon Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:39 am
From the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants

Gov. - Patrick
Sen. - Mr. Crabs
House - Squidward

Comment by clj Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:40 am
House: Sigmund and the Sea Monsters
Senate: The Banana Splits
Blago: H.R. Pufnstuf

Comment by Bluefish Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:45 am
The “Soggy Bottom Boys” from “Oh brother where art thou”. The Gov. can be the leader since he is always concerned with his hair, and the house and senate are his two singers - “dumber than a box of hammers”.

Comment by Mr. Ethics Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:46 am
Why in the world does the Illinois Tollway need a mascot? Talk about a waster of taxpayer dollars. Geez…only in northern Illinois.

Comment by Deep South Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:47 am
Blagoejvich: Once a mild mannered civil servant who accidentially overdosed on testicular virility, turning him into “Barney!”, the 110 pound man of clay, (with bad back acne). When confronted by his evil nemesis, Reporter Man, Barney instantly protects himself with his toddler shields and helmet hairdo.

Senate: Once a mild mannered barnyard beast named “Figero”, he accidentially fell into a radioactive trough of tax dollars. Figero became “Porky”, the 9000 pound money hog who wallows in political mud. Smell that? That’s the Illinois Senate!

House: Once a mild mannered balding accountant named Milford Milligan who loved lawn bowling and Chex Mix, “Milly” became “Tricky”, a book balancer who disappears when bills show up in the mail. Tricky is an arch nemesis of Barney and Porky.

Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:53 am
From beloved childhood t.v. series, “the Smurfs”:

Speaker Madigan: Papa Smurf - Papa Smurf is the leader of the Smurfs, and the only Smurf who wears red. Papa Smurf brings the Smurfs to safety in times of danger and crisis. Everyone in Smurf Village turns to Papa Smurf when things go awry. Papa is always busy making magical spells and potions in his laboratory.

Governor Blagojevich: Gargamel - The Smurfs face a most singular nemesis - Gargamel. The evil Gargamel is a wizard who spends his days trying to capture, eat, and otherwise destroy the Smurfs. Gargamel is absolutely obsessed with the Smurfs and lives for the day he is victorious over our little blue buddies.

Senate President Jones: Azrael - Gargamel has a long-suffering sidekick named Azrael (not “Azreal” or “Azrial”). Azrael is a tough, mangy cat who compounds the Smurfs’ problems when they’re being chased by Gargamel.

Comment by Kevin Fanning Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 9:53 am
the house: the brain
the senate: pinky
the guv: an ostrich

The cartoon’s famous tagline is:

Pinky: “Gee Brain, what do you want to do tonight?”

The Brain: “The same thing we do every night, Pinky- try to take over the world.”

like pinky and the brain, the house never really succeeds in it’s quest to “take over the world,” but they keep trying (each and every day).

the ostrich should be an obvious choice: the guv keeps his head buried in the sand, intentionally oblivious to the world around him…

Comment by bored now Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:00 am
Last year while riding on “the bus,” the governor compared himself to Robin Hood and put Madigan in the role of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Somebody (I think it was me) jokingly suggested that Jones might be Maid Marian.

Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:01 am
LOL

Comment by Kevin Fanning Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:04 am
Capt. Fax:
Isnt’t the real question which PR firm ripped off the Tollway with this crummy idea and how man tols will we pay to fund it?
was the company tied to:
—- University of Emil?
—- Wymaramabama?
—- SpinSisters (Retired)
—- All of the Above

Comment by Wild Bill Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:20 am
For the House, I picture a leprechaun much like the “Fighting Irish” mascot; you never know what leprechauns plan, and you can never really catch them.

For the Senate, a mastiff. They’re big, loyal, and ultimately goofy and uncoordinated.

And the Governor reminds me of the Hamburglar. He thinks he has clever plans to rob McDonaldland of its burgers, but they never really pan out.

Comment by the Other Anonymous Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:32 am
Governor: Alfred E. Neuman — What? Me worry?

Madigan: Notre Dame Fighting Irishman — scrapper, storied tradition of winning (not to open up that can of worms)

Jones: Grizzly Bear — ravenous appetite (especially for pork), deep growl, won’t back down.

For the tollway, how could they not pick John “Quarters” Boyle? He personifies the system.

Comment by wordslinger Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:51 am
Governor Gobbledygook, the Sinister Senators,and Mike’s Mighty Mice (self-explanatory?)

Comment by If It Walks Like a Duck... Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:28 am
Blago - George W. Bush channeling Alfred E. Newman
(all smart-a–es, inarticulate and without
conscience.)

Madigan - Howard Hughes (silent but deadly)

Jones - Porky Pig (Tha’a-a-a–a-at’s all, folks)

Comment by Disgusted Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:29 am
Gov-Pepe Le Pew- he tries to sweet talk everyone, but in the end he just stinks.

House-Dee-Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory-always getting in the way of the “Boy Genius”, but she is pretty useless herself

Senate-Bobby Boucher (adam Sandler from the Waterboy) as they are always carrying the gov’s water)

Comment by Wumpus Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:35 am
Gov - Captain Roddy D’Nyle - Parrot w/ Elvis hairdo who just keeps saying “Roddy Wants a Kickback” and “Who’s Public Official A? Who’s Public Official A??” over and over.

House - Lucky the Leprechaun - “They’re Always after me Member Initiatives!”

Senate - Huggy Bear - “Look Rizzod, wizzy not gonna be blunt-rollin’ health care this year.”

(Translation courtesy of www.gizoogle.com.)

Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:50 am
House: Superman
Senate: Frankenstein
Hendon: Pinochio
Gov: Mongo (from Blazing Saddles)

Comment by Ghost Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 11:52 am
I tried to come up with cartoon characters but settled on an old movie comedy team combination instead:

House: Stan Laurel
Senate: Oliver Hardy
Governor: James Finlayson

Laurel and Hardy were always trying to outdo each other and would look sillier and sillier in the process. Their famous foil James Finlayson would play the store owner, landlord, competitor etc. that would always try to outfox the other two and they in turn always tried to outfox him.

The results: Usually a huge pie fight while business gets neglected or destroyed.

The upshot: Hardy turning to Laurel and saying “This is another fine mess you’ve gotten me into” at the conclusion of the melee.

Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:30 pm
House: C3P0 (hey, everyone needs a timid, robotic yes-man around).

Senate: Jimmy Giles (Jimmy still didn’t “get the job,” and would serve as a good reminder to Emil Jones that HE doesn’t really need food stamps).

Governor: Cookie the Clown (the newest reincarnation of Bozo who’s supposed to be sitting in the governor’s mansion could use the support of Bozo’s traditional sidekick).

Comment by Snidely Whiplash Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:31 pm
I’d say the Three Stooges and assignment does not matter.

Comment by Wondering Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 12:41 pm
Governor: Governor from Blazing Saddles
Speaker Madigan: Patton’s 3rd Army
Senator Jones: Giant $$$$$$ signs flashing

Comment by decaturvoter Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:21 pm
Why not ask for a caption for the goofy Captain Tollway cartoon?

“George not swing from jungle vine now. George fly over Tollway!” Watch out for that (ooh!) overpass.

Comment by cover Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:30 pm
I am just a little surprised that Rod didn’t get a photo of his face super-imposed upon the body of Captain Tollway? Rod loves to get his name and face on every taxpayer paid for sign, object, or media photo that he can. Rod is a big believer in “Any taxpayer funded publicity is better than no publicity at all.”

For the Illinois House of Representatives mascot, it would seem that Alfred E. Neuman (What, me worry?) might be an appropriate fit. For the Illinois State Senate, perhaps Wiley Coyote (who always managed to go over a cliff in his attempts to feast on the Road Runner (the mascot of the Illinois taxpayer).

As far as an appropriate mascot for Governor Blagojevich, perhaps a bobble-head doll of George Ryan?

Comment by Mad Max Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 1:45 pm
Gov: Alfred E. Neuman ( I swear he looks just like him)

Michael Madigan: Travis Bickle ( DeNiro in Taxi Driver You talkin’ to ME?

Emil Jones: Barney Fife (Andy, it wasn’t me!)

Comment by Loop Lady Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 4:08 pm
Mad Max –
That’s funny, because I thought that the Tollway mascot was indeed a caricature of the Governor.

Comment by Truthful James Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 4:32 pm
The true question should be “Why do we even have a Captain Tollway in the first place?”

He epitomizes (in 2-D) the most buffoonish and childish elements of this administration.

The mascot is ridiculous, stupid and a colossal waste of money.

Like a lot of things in this state, unfortunately.

Comment by Come On Now Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 5:32 pm
I would like to know how much? and who got the contract to design it?

Comment by State worker w/ an MBA Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:19 pm
Look at that cartoon’s hairdo and tell me that’s not based on Rod already.

Comment by Gregor Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:38 pm
Mr. Ethics - good answer!

Comment by Southern Illinois Voter Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 8:45 pm
Governor - Cousin It
Madigan - Gomez Addams (the plan always worked in the end)
Jones - Lurch (the butler with the distinctive voice)

Comment by unclesam Tuesday, May 27, 08 @ 10:23 pm
Wonder how much they paid the advertising firm who came uo with that silly useless logo?

How about - Ripeoff Man

Comment by Tollway Dan Wednesday, May 28, 08 @ 6:53 am