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* The setup: Secretaries who work for House members have been sent to the House floor today to clean out their bosses’ desks because of a “big mouse infestation.”

The infestation was apparently caused by legislators leaving food (mostly candy) in their desks. A Republican House member announced the problem last night during session, and there are no reported mouse problems on the Democratic side of the aisle as of yet.

This is not a good thing, considering the millions of dollars spent on a truly stunning remodeling of the House chambers.

Traps will apparently be set after the desks are cleaned out.

* The question: Analogies?

Snark heavily encouraged.

posted by Rich Miller
Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:20 am

Comments

The House Democrats will also be setting traps to catch another type of unwanted guest that only sometimes appears at the capitol.

Comment by Soy Milk - Formerly Known As Napoleon has left the building Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:22 am
SO the republicans are seeking to eliminate the only new memebrs they have been able to attract lately?

Apparently the republicans are being provided too many sweet deals for their own good. perhaps they need to stop supporting the Gov on a capital plan despite the candy being dangled in front of them. After all, the only thing the Gov’s candy seems to bring them is an infestation they can do without.

Comment by Ghost Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:25 am
So these were run of the mill House mice?

Comment by Captain Flume Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:30 am
Usually where there are rats, there aren’t mice. Just saying…..!

Comment by Justice Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:38 am
Perhaps AFSCME has just set up a bunch of miniature “rat-mobiles” in the chambers as a form of protest.

Comment by Jake from Elwood Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:38 am
So the House members reaffirm that they can create a problem where none existed, but they cannot provide enough effort to fix the problem without assistance….again.

Comment by zatoichi Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:46 am
Obviously, the caterwalling among Democrats is keeping the mice from crossing the aisle. Although, apparently one rat wasn’t frightened away.

Comment by Amuzing Myself Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:54 am
THE PEOPLE OF ILLINOIS:

“Who Stole My Cheese?”

Comment by Reality Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:58 am
Next come the locusts and the frogs…

Comment by Pickles!! Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:05 am
Their secretaries cleaning up their chocolate messes? Shouldn’t that be a job for their mommas?

When you have a nickel’s worth of clout, you’ll do anything to convince people (yourself?) that it’s a dime. Big shots.

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:05 am
He sees a mouse next to his keyboard and sets off a panic?

Comment by kvf Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:05 am
One of Emil Jones favorite sayings when he sees people from our industry (I won’t say who I represent) is:

“There must be cheese in room because the rats are in the house”.

I’m just saying.

Comment by Anon Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:06 am
“A plague on both their houses!”

Comment by Captain Flume Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:07 am
You know, in the old Looney Tunes, elephants were always deathly afraid of mice.

Comment by wordslinger Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:08 am
I think that the Reps that left the food there should have had to clean out their desks. It is ridiculous what the secretaries have to do around here. . .

Comment by My Opinion Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:09 am
They’re gone and something needs to be done soon, so there’s little choice.

Now, back to the question, please.

Comment by Rich Miller Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:10 am
I assumed they were actually bats who’d chosen to leave Rep. Stephens head for better accomodations.

Comment by Frank Booth Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:14 am
Somebody better warn Emil when they set the traps or he might go after that “Gov’ment cheese”.

Comment by Irish Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:22 am
How about the mice are symbolic of the social service agencies scrambling around for crumbs to keep going after the budget cuts; able to appear only after the big shots showed up for the party and went to their comfortable homes, per diem check in hand… (cue “Someday My Prince Will Come” music)

Comment by Vote Quimby! Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:31 am
The “food” story is likely a over up. Like attracts like, and mice like hanging with mice.

Comment by Bruno Behrend Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:35 am
Picture Gov Goofy as the Pied Piper of Hamlin in full constume piping the mice out the chamber doors. Then threatening to stop playing if the House Republicans don’t support his half brained programs.
Gov. - ” I played pretty good huh? I think I look good in this hat. I wonder if Mayor Daley would let me help him pipe the rats out of the city. Did I tell you about that little girl who thought I looked like Mayor Daley? I think I will send these mice down to Harrisburg, they might need them down there. These tights show off my muscular legs, don’t you think? Did you see those AFSCME people at the fair yesterday? What was their deal anyway? Did I tell you that I got to talk to Mark Cuban at the bowling thing the other night? I think I like him for the Cub’s deal, did you know there was a donation expected for that gig? I just donated some money that I knew was laying around not being used. Did you see the look on Madigan’s face yesterday during my speech?

Comment by Irish Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:35 am
Are they putting the traps under the desks, or on the chairs?

If it’s the chairs, they need the super-sized, jumbo, extra-large style traps.

Just a thought - how about putting a cage around every chair, and the cage door auto shuts once they sit down.

Comment by Judgment Day Is On The Way Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:36 am
“Who Moved My Cheese?!!?!?” I blame the senate; Emil’s deals have all been cheesy lately.

Comment by Gregor Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:43 am
Rich:
We need more information. Was this a big, “mouse infestation” or a “big mouse” infestation? The answer could determine which state agency has to take responsibility.

Comment by One of the 35 Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:52 am
And on the 16th floor of the JRTC, the Governor’s staff has been asked to clean out all the fundraising invitations. Apparently, there has been an infestation of state contractors and campaign contributors, attracted by the scent of pay-to-play.

The Governor’s staff has yet to comment, claiming that they are working on a plan to improve on this idea.

Comment by the Other Anonymous Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 11:56 am
Are these the little mice who sit around and wait for instructions from their leadership?

If we remove them, then we have no representation!

Comment by Louis G. Atsaves Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:00 pm
Is it really mice they’re worried about, or is it “bugs?” Or “plants”?

Comment by Bookworm Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:05 pm
This may be the only time I’d approve of testing chemicals on mice!

Comment by IllinoisBelows Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:07 pm
Who’s the leader of the House
That’s made it a mockery?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
How corrupt can we be?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E

Michael J. Mouse!

Michael J. Mouse!

Forever let us hold his banner
High! High! High! High!

Come along and sing a song
We are like rats eating cheese!
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E

Michael J. Mouse’s club
We’ll have fun
Ignoring special sessions!
High! High! High! High!

We’ll pass bills and
Watch Rod game them
As deadlines expire,
We’ll impeach him
Watch us tame him
And then we’ll retire!

Who’s the leader of the House
Plotting quietly as can be?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
Don’t expect any lunch for free,
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E

Michael J. Mouse!

Michael J. Mouse!

In 2010 let us vote his daughter
High! High! High! High!

Come along and sing a song
And join our Party!
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J. M-O-U-S-E

Just watch out for the traps!

Comment by VanillaMan Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:10 pm
Rich,

You really ought to consider closing this thread after VM’s last post. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or commit suicide after that one.

Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:33 pm
OK! OK!

Who’s the leader of the Senate
Living on food stamps?
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
Are you ready for high camp?
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S

Emil Jones!

Emil Jones!

He gave to us “The One” - Obama!
High! High! High! High!

Come along and sing his song
Enjoy the government cheese!
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S

Emil Jones’ club
We’ll have fun
Ignoring special sessions!
High! High! High! High!

We’ll pass bills and
Watch Rod game them
As deadlines expire,
We’ll defend him
Watch Emil tame him
And Emil will retire!

Who’s the leader of the Senate
Wanting you tax money?
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
He wants a Congressional seat for Debbie,
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S

Emil Jones!

Emil Jones!

In 2008 let us vote his protege Barack
High! High! High! High!

Come along and sing a song
And bounce Rod on his knee!
E-M-I-L J-O-N-E-S

Comment by VanillaMan Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 12:39 pm
OK! OK! Last one!

Who’s the leader of our State
Unpopular as the GOP?
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
One term, two terms, maybe three?
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H

Blagojevich!
Blagojevich!
Illinois is knee-deep in the ditch!
Ditch! Ditch! Ditch! Ditch!

Pay and Play along with him
$25,000 per company!
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H

Milorad’s club
We’ll have fun
Watching Cubs and John Wayne!
High! High! High! High!

We’ll “Do-Right” to bills
they pass,
for the Working Class,
We’ve got Power,
It’s amateur hour!
His head is full of hot gas!

Who’s the leader of our State
Who like to help Daley?
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H
Hey! there, Hi! there, Ho! there
“Whatever ya do, don’t impeach me!”
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H

Blagojevich!
Blagojevich!
Please indict him now Attorney Fitz!
Fitz! Fitz! Fitz! Fitz!

Our state has sunk so low,
Lower than Death Valley!
B-L-A, G-O-V, I-T-T-C-H

Comment by VanillaMan Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 1:03 pm
There is a report of a confused mouse found in Rep. Froehlich’s desk.

Comment by Shades Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 1:23 pm
Rich-

Please stop VM before he does Tom Cross and Frank Watson.

Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 1:40 pm
Im waiting for B-L-A-G-O-J-E-V-I-C-H… hahaha… hey wait that one actually fits

Comment by Hmmmm Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 1:44 pm
State gubment needsta go onna diet!

Comment by Ahem Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 1:58 pm
Last one!

Three blind mice,
Three blind mice,
See how they fight,
Each thinks they’re right!

Illinois is bleeding red,
Passing up money from The Fed,
They’d rather bash each other in the head!
Voters believe they’ll be better off dead!

Than with these three blind mice!
Three blind mice!

Comment by VanillaMan Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:09 pm
I forgot what we named those awards you had a contest for a while back, but give one to VM. Those are too funny.

Comment by Been There Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:16 pm
OMG, VM is too funny! I say these House mice are showing the only testicular virility we’ve seen in that chamber since January.

Comment by The Mad Hatter Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:22 pm
Sure they are not rats trying to get off of the sinking ship?

Comment by Dan S. a Voter and Cubs Fan Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:29 pm
Some of the above comments are hilarious, while others strike me as a bit offensive…if not racist.

Y’all are a bunch of rats~

Comment by Black Ivy Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:35 pm
The budget has so many holes in it that it is like swiss cheese.

Comment by One of Three Puppets Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:40 pm
Garbage does attract rodents…

Comment by Wifey Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 2:56 pm
…in a related development, Chief of Staff Timothy Mapes announced today that he’s hired a cadre of retired nuns to police each aisle of the chamber to make sure NOBODY brings food into the House chamber. Armed with 24-inch rulers, the nuns have been given “whack to maim” orders.

Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 3:17 pm
Atheist turned trust fund baby Rob “Rob” Sherman filed suit in federal court this afternoon seeking to halt the posting of retired nuns inside the Illinois House Chamber to control the smuggling of food and candy into the ornate facility.

Sherman stated, “this is another clear breach of the wall between church and state which must be stopped now. I say enough of this Nunsense!”

Rep. Monique Davis, D-Chicago, who has frequently clashed with Sherman in the past, agreed with Sherman, saying “I don’t see why we can’t have retired PUBLIC school teachers keep order in the House. God knows they don’t get much of a pension here in Chicago.”

Comment by Arthur Andersen Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 4:51 pm
News at 11, the governor today announced that he considers himself the first mouse governor. In other news, the governor also appears to have a rat in the house GOP. Tom Cross declined comment, but reminded us that he is pro-choice when it comes to rodent issues.

Comment by Heartless Libertarian Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 6:27 pm
Despite the mouse problem, I suggest we allow the mice free run of the place and keep the legislators out. A timely and prudent budget is no more likely to be passed by a pack of mice then the current verminous inhabitants. Besides, providing cheese will be a whole lot cheaper than the current system of “campaign contributions”. It’s likely nothing will be accomplished by our four-legged friends - but how is that any different than the current situation?
KEEP THE MICE AND THROW OUT THE RATS!

Comment by BobW Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 6:53 pm
Yes, keep the mice. The mouse droppings could be used to create biofuel to power the governor’s reform and renewal program.

Comment by Ahem Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 7:47 pm
Mice always eat after the rats. Pecking order, don’t ya know?

Comment by Snidely Whiplash Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 8:56 pm
Republican leader Tom Cross acknowledge that he had told Republican house members to stockpile food in their desks in preparation for the upcoming “constant wave of special sessions” that Blago will be ordering now that he has learned that his State Police detail can Blackberry special session orders from running paths, hair salons, Gibson’s, skyboxes and the offices of criminal defense attorneys.

Noting that it would be tough to break Mike Madigan’s hold on House Democrats, Cross encouraged members to include candy, liquor and Raymond Poe’s fried chicken in their food stockpiles so that they might someday tempt Dems away from the fold.

Comment by Quizzical Thursday, Aug 14, 08 @ 10:07 pm
I thnk VM’s last ditty is actually what Madigan is singing to the other three leaders for talking to the “Stupid is as Stupid does” Blago.

Comment by anon sequitor Friday, Aug 15, 08 @ 8:11 am