Capitol Fax.com - Your Illinois News Radar

Question of the day

Posted in:

Illinois

* Caption?

* Funniest response wins a ticket to the August 17th Chicago White Sox game vs. the Kansas City Royals. Keep in mind, of course, that lewdness could get you banned. Funny, but within our boundaries. Thanks.

Yesterday’s winner is “Tex” for this comment…

Young Quinn to Old Quinn: “Hey, check out this new briefcase…I think I’ll name her Betsy.”

Don’t get it? Tex helpfully provided a link…

Quinn’s personal frugality is well known. He’s still carrying a nearly 30-year-old briefcase nicknamed Betsy, is a connoisseur of discount hotels and brags about recycling his old state business cards by crossing out the word “lieutenant.”

If Tex cannot accept his/her ticket, our runner up is anon the phenom…

YOUNGER Pat Quinn to OLDER Pat Quinn: “Just keep sticking to sunday afternoon press conferences, populist rhetoric, support for our troops, super 8 motels, support for anything green, defying conventional political wisdom, disheveled hair, lackluster fundraising, and striped purple ties and you will do fine!”

Tex should e-mail me as soon as possible so we can figure out how to deal with this ticket.

posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:57 am

Comments

The very first Jesse White Tumbler

Comment by hmmm Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:05 am
Moses poses with Jesse White just moments after parting the Red Sea.

Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:06 am
Secretary of State Jesse White and CapFaxblog commentator bored now share a bit of levity after a tough day inspecting the Homewood driver’s license facility.

Comment by Bill Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:19 am
As an elected Illinois official, I am always willing to do my best to patronize the voter. How would you voters like me to look when I run for my next term of office? I am willing, ready, and able to volunteer for this “Extreme Makeover” if you guys want me to do so. Just let me know.

Comment by John Doe Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:28 am
Santa Claus meets with Jesse White after being denied an Illinois License because of the Real ID act

Comment by Joseph Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:35 am
In order to combat the looming darkness threatening to engulf the lands, Jesse White seeks out an alliance with the wise wizard Gandalf.

Comment by Leroy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:47 am
The winner of the first annual Jerry Garcia look alike contest. The winner gets the number 1 on the special State of Illinois Grateful Dead License Plate.

Comment by the ole preceinct captain Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:50 am
Jessie White running for Secretary of State in 2045 poses with Rich Miller of “Capital Fax” fame; both men are still at the top of their game. Although Rich has aged some, strangely enough Jessie has not.

Comment by How Ironic Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:53 am
Rich,

Just end this now and give the ticket to ‘How Ironic’

Comment by Rep. John Fritchey Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:04 am
Secretary of State Jessie White congratulates Sven Hillgerssenn, the recipient of the first complete Santa transplant operation in Illinois. Hillgerssenn thanked the Target on 159th in Orland Park for donating their Santa after the tragic mistletoe incident disrupted last year’s holiday shopping. He then asked the Secretary of State to sit on his lap and tell him if he’d been good this year. White declined without further comment.

Comment by Springfieldish Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:08 am
Would you believe twins separated at birth? (thank you to Get Smart)

Comment by Remembering when Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:14 am
The VJ host of JBTV and Jesse White guest VJ a night of old-school Wu Tang Clan video classics entitled - “A tribute to Ol’ Dirty Bastard”.

Comment by Crash Palace Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:16 am
Jesse White and Methuselah reminisce

Comment by Ghost Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:20 am
SPRINGFIELD: Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White Announces Support for “Medical” Marijuana

Comment by RightGirl Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:25 am
Today Jesse White shocked Illinois by marrying Mr. Rainbow Lovechild of Boulder Colorado. The SOS stated that they plan to settle in Chicago and after his retirement, perhaps have a few children.

The wedding was really, really groovy.

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:27 am
Jesse White reveals that the Jesse White Tumblers’ favorite band is the Grateful Dead, after the Dead Foundation makes contribution to Jesse White Tumblers.

Comment by Steve Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:29 am
After thinking it over Jesse White decides that he will co-pilot the alien craft with Jeff Goldblum in a zany, hail mary plan to save the human race from extinction.

http://content8.flixster.com/question/53/60/92/5360926_std.jpg

Comment by Kevin Fanning Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:34 am
Jesse White, perennial Illinois Secretary of State, congratulates Cards manager Tony La Russa for his team’s his 4-game sweep over the White Sox in the 2020 World Series.

Comment by Six Degrees of Separation Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:34 am
“I told you I needed to meet with my opposition, not with my opposite”

Comment by Small Town Liberal Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:40 am
Before and after: Secretary of State Jesse White experienced unexpected side effects after trying a new hair loss treatment.

Comment by Ben Myers Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:43 am
I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Jesse White

Comment by Illinimax Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:44 am
The first tumbler attends the 2009 reunion.

Comment by lifer Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:46 am
Ooops sorry hmmm should have read this first

Comment by lifer Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:48 am
Jeese White nervously smiles as he is feeling a bit overdressed at his first Dead concert.

Comment by Anon92 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:51 am
AA would like to second Rep.Fritchey’s motion.

Comment by Arthur Andersen Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:55 am
“Dude, where can I get a vanity license plate for my Grateful Dead Tribute Band’s VW microbus?”

Comment by TominChicago Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:58 am
Jesse White finds proof that Rich Miller and Rick Pearson were separated at birth as he poses with their Father, Santa Claus.

Comment by Fan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:59 am
This photo with Professor Dumbledore should really score me votes with the Harry Potter crowd.

Comment by Bluefish Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:06 am
The Cheech and Chong reunion lights up the Capitol.

Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:09 am
Wishing to offer the voters clear alternatives in the 2010 Illinois constitutional officer elections, the Illinois GOP rolled out their SOS candidate today, Edgar Winter.

Comment by Downstate weed chewing hick Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:12 am
“Why Can’t we be Friends, why can’t we be friends”
Long hair/short hair, beard/clean shaven, glasses/no glasses, tie/no tie. If they can, why can’t we?

Comment by Lisle Mike Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:16 am
In an effort to cut down on fake IDs, the DMV is testing a new policy which calls for SOS Jessie White to pose in each driver license photo.

Comment by weatherboy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:18 am
Drivin’ that train, …

Comment by Balance Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:20 am
Jesse, thinking: ‘This cyber technician dude is gonna help take my SOS Web site to the next level…’

Cyber tech dude, thinking: ‘This fat contract with the SOS Office is gonna help me score a lot more weed…’

Comment by Nerds Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:20 am
“Sweet…I just gained my level 9 Secretary of State sorcerer status.”

Comment by Pleading the fifth Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:22 am
Santa didn’t make the Jesse White Tumblers team, losing out to a more agile Blitzen, but the two men share no hard feelings. The two posed for White’s annual Christmas card.

Comment by Who Else Goes Down Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:22 am
Donate Your Organs…Save a Rock Legend (and maybe prolong a certain Secretary of State’s tenure)

Comment by Bobby Jenks' Chin Hair Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:23 am
Ebony & Ivory on tour.

Comment by Fedup2 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:29 am
“So, I’m guessing your fraternal, not identical, twins.”

Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:29 am
Are you a registered beard donor?

Comment by short beard Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:32 am
Researchers in Denmark were excited to announce a new breakthrough in cloning today. They have been able to clone subjects into other races. Pictured are Jesse White and his Danish clone, Gunter Pedersen.

Comment by trafficmatt Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:35 am
“Doesn’t matter if you’re Black or White…”

Comment by Abe's Ghost Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:37 am
twins of different mothers

Comment by north shorer Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:38 am
***BREAKING NEWS***
Secretary of Jesse White filed a medical malpractice suit against a plastic surgeon formerly employed by Michael Jackson. See the attached before and after photo!

Comment by the Patriot Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:40 am
In a stunning development, the Illinois Secretary of State announced his resignation today so that he can pursue marketing a new upscale ice cream brand to be called “Ben and Jesse’s.”

Comment by phocion Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:44 am
I have to seriously rethink this organ donation criteria thing!

Comment by Forgotten Few Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:45 am
Father Time finally catches up with Jesse…

Comment by Capitol View Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:49 am
Jesse White Announces Lunar Launch To Benefit Organ and Campaign Donations

Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White today announced that he will be launched into space in honor of the 40th Anniversary of NASA Moon landing. White, pictured here with Chief Flight Engineer Dr. Cornelius Bongwater, hopes that his flight next Thursday will also launch Illinois into a new “organ and campaign donation” orbit.

“After reviewing new ethical campaign laws, the Illinois Democrats have realized that a loophole existed, allowing them to amass huge campaign war chests, if collected outside Earth’s orbit. We’ve contacted lobbyists, unions and other Democrat special interest groups and they would be willing to meet with me virtually in the International Space Station for a huge global fundraiser,” White said. “Thanks to Dr. Bongwater, and my years of tumbling experiences, I am ready to become the recipient of this massive campaign war chest.”

“As to organ donations, I expect my lunar launch to highlight my commitments in an awesome way, ya know?”

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:59 am
Mr. Garcia, how can I improve my polling numbers with your fan base?

Comment by James the Intolerant Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:01 am
Jesse White will recognize the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, by unveiling the commerative licence plate.

Comment by Third Generation Chicago Native Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:04 am
Are you the dude I need to lobby to support decriminalization of small amounts of pot? Oh, never mind man. That’s the other dude with glasses.

Comment by Another Dart fan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:04 am
Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon photoshops a before and after picture of Secretary White prior to the procedure.

Comment by rachel Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:05 am
Finally, after years of searching, Jesse and Jerry were reunited…being seperated at birth was hard on both of them, but let the healing begin.

Comment by Tex Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:07 am
Jessie White get’s visited by the ghoast of Jerry Garcia past.

Comment by ahoy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:11 am
Jessie at the pearly gates

Comment by anon the phenom Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:13 am
Edgar Winter tells Jesse White there’s no Free Ride when it comes to campaigns

Comment by Out There Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:15 am
Jessie White posed for a photo with Patt Quinns Mother.

Comment by Speaking at Will Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:16 am
IL Secretary of State Jesse White poses with former IL Governor Pat Quinn, back in Chicago after his surprise victory on the NBC hit, “I had a political meltdown, get me out of here.” Quinn’s appearance engendered broad viewer support after his failed attempt to recall fellow show participant, Mark Sanford, who revealed an affair with the show’s producer.

Comment by Watching closely Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:23 am
Jesse: Thank you for your organ donation Mr. Garcia.
White haired dude: Jerry’s dead dude.
Jesse: I’m terribly sorry.
White haired dude: no problem, Mr. Banks.

Comment by anon Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:25 am
“We are the world”

Comment by Stones Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:31 am
Not much funny about this photo

Comment by mac Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:40 am
Photo for background design of the new Ebony & Ivory license plates.

Comment by Captain Flume Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:45 am
As part of the House Resolution on Michael Jackson Jesse White and Santa join together to sing “We are the World”.

Comment by WOW Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:46 am
Sec White shows Cook County Board the danger of decriminalizing a dime bag of marajuana

Comment by Oh well Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:47 am
Does that sign behnd them say “Annual Drink and Drive Marathon”?

Comment by Downstate weed chewing hick Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:49 am
Tumblin’ and Truckin’

Comment by Amy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:51 am
Ladies and Gentlemen I am pleased to introduce the new Speaker of the House!!

Comment by ivoted4judy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:54 am
After being informed that “the most interesting man in the world” included his beard for organ donation in his country, Jesse White took great pains to find an equivalent beard in Illinois.

Comment by unclesam Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:56 am
Jesse White posses with his newly appointed legislative liason.

Comment by Breathalyzers for all Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:58 am
In his role as State Librarian, Sec. Jesse WHite Hosts a premier party for the opening of the latest Harry Potter movie, seen here posing with one of the many movie goers dressed for the event…..

Comment by Inish Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:59 am
“Oh well” wins it by a nose!

Comment by Bill Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:59 am
“living on sponge cake…”

Comment by headed to key west Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:00 am
“Sec of State Jesse White poses with his SOS predessesor George Ryan at a party celebrating the former Governor’s release from prison.”

Comment by Mitch C Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:05 am
Jesse finaly convinces Jim Edgar to return to state government, though Jim has ages somewhat.

Comment by looking to 2010 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:07 am
Jesse and Jerry reminiscing about the first time they met-International Amphitheatre, 7/25/74
Me and My Uncle
Loose Lucy
Black-Throated Wind
Loser
Beat it on Down the Line
SUgaree
Mexicali Blues
Brown Eyed Women
El Paso
Row Jimmy
WRS Prelude
WRS Part 1
Let it Grow
Around and Around

Scarlet Begonias
Big River
It Must Have Been the Roses
Jack Straw
Dark Star
Stella Blue
Johnny B. Goode
Uncle John’s Band
U.S. Blues
One More Saturday Night

Ship of Fools

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP IT’S BEEN

Comment by not on the clout list Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:08 am
Jesse White posing with Congressman Tim Johnson supporting local D.A.R.E. fund raiser.

Comment by Out There Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:08 am
The SOS announces the release of the new “Choose Weed” license plates.

Comment by Anon Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:08 am
This isn’t a caption and this may not be obvious, but my guess is the guy on the right is really named Mr. Black, is young(30ish) and couldn’t do a somersault if his life depended on it. Besides that, I think him and Jesse could be twins.

Comment by Brothers Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:13 am
Jesse asks Noah,’What’s a cubit?’

Comment by Spiney Norman Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:14 am
Ebony & Ivory…living together in perfect harmony….

Comment by Stones Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:19 am
Presenting Illinois’ newest musical sensation, White and Whiter!

Ebony and ivory
Live together in perfect harmony
Side by side in Springfield, Illinois
Oh boy!
Why can’t we?

Comment by Lefty Lefty Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:20 am
Man, I run to the post office and Stones takes my idea!

Comment by Lefty Lefty Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:21 am
Secretary of State Jesse White, on a tour of the Howlett Building, discovers Jerry Garcia is alive and working in the far reaches of the basement.

Comment by Cheswick Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:23 am
Jesse White (ironic pictorially)thinking:
“Gad, the things you gotta do to stay on the job”

Comment by You Go Boy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:26 am
I’m sorry but there must be some mistake. I ordered one scoop of the CHERRY Garcia.

Comment by Cubs Win Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:26 am
Someone call security, this man is NOT Steve Schnorf

Comment by anon111 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:29 am
In an unusual casting decision, Jesse White and Tim Allen, fresh off the set of the Santa Clause IV, are signed for the movie version of Tom Dreesen’s “Tim and Tom, An American Comedy in Black and White”

Comment by Downstate weed chewing hick Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:29 am
Professor Dumbledore receives his Illinois broom flying license from Secretary White after admitting that Harry Potter is his grandson…but he is not sure which of his twin sons is Harry’s Dad - Rich Miller or Rick Pearson.

Comment by Suburbs Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:33 am
Sorry Lefty…great minds think alike!

Comment by Stones Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:35 am
As the result of a bizarre transporter accident aboard the USS Enterprise, Secretary White is split into his two selves.

Comment by Nick Nameless Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:37 am
Tumblin’, got my flips all in. keep tumblin’, like the do-dah man
Together, more or less in line, just keep tumblin’ on.

Lines of tumblers and the trampolines out on main street.
Chicago, Rockford, Springfield and its all on the same street.
Your typical city involved in a typical daydream
Hang it up and see what tomorrow brings.

Lockport, got a organ donor; Eureka, too close to Peoria;
Chicagos got the ways and means; but just wont let you be, oh no.

Most of the cast that you meet on the streets speak of cartwheels,
Most of the time theyre jumping and bouncing at home.
One of these days they know they better get goin
Out of the door and down on the streets together.

Tumblin’, like the do-dah man. once told me youve got to tumble always
Sometimes your jumps aint worth a dime, if you dont trampoline,

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip its been.

Comment by dave Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:38 am
Mr. White captures Blago after his escape from prison.

Comment by Capturedhim! Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:42 am
Secretary White and his new intern, the one with Benjamin Button disease

Comment by anonymous Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:52 am
White and Whiter.

Comment by Jake from Elwood Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:56 am
Rich Miller’s Dad poses with Jesse White
Note: same taste in glasses

Comment by Third Generation Chicago Native Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:57 am
Q: Some wonder how Jesse White can still do this and how long he’ll keep going.

A: He’s friends with Father Time and forrrevvveeerrr.

Comment by COPN Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:01 pm
White: No, I’m serious, this is who I certified to be the next Junior Senator from Illinois!

Comment by Anon14 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:05 pm
Devine authority behind refusal to certify Burris nomination

Comment by Anon Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:06 pm
Dude why you taxing my bong

Comment by dude Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:08 pm
Conservative Veteran to Jesse White: I know I don’t look the way you’d expect, but listen - if you decide to retire Beth Coulson would make a great SOS.

Comment by 10th Indy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:09 pm
Grateful Head(SoS)and the Grateful Dead

Comment by Reggaeman Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:22 pm
Viewing the before and after pictures of his handiwork, Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon announces, “Another Perfect Transformation!”

Comment by What the. . . Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:26 pm
Illinois Secretary of State Jesse White poses with a man born the year the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series.

Comment by Jim Rockford Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:28 pm
So, I understand that you are having some difficulty passing the vision test, Mr. White. I think I might be able to help…

Comment by Tired of the Mess Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:31 pm
Jim Edgar travels back in time from 2050 to reveal a secret to fixing the budget to Jesse White

Comment by Oneman Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:35 pm
Secretary White, in a show of remorse for his previous backing of the embarassing Ken Dunkin, appears with his new handpicked challenger for the 5th District seat - Sven Donut.

Comment by phocion Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:36 pm
Rich Miller’s former intern and Jesse White plan a new endeavor to compete with Capitol Fax called the Secretary Says

Comment by letsbuyRichadrink Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 12:51 pm
This is your brain . . . and this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

Comment by Just Wondering . . . Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:02 pm
Pretty clever way to drive people to your blog on slow news days Rich!

Comment by Another Dart fan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:05 pm
White: “Who’s this hairy chick…..I’m gonna fire my *^&^$$ PR person….”

Comment by You Go Boy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:13 pm
Rich,

Since the BEST caption will get tickets to the Sox game, how about Cubs tickets for the WORST caption?? Think of it as punishment.

Comment by trafficmatt Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:21 pm
Ebony…and Ivory….living in perfect harmony…..

Comment by Kicker Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:24 pm
Visual Example of Reverse Polarity….

Comment by Eyes Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:26 pm
In a stunning surprise even for Illinois politics, God today endorsed Jesse White for reelection.

Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:36 pm
Terry Lutes rejoins the Jesse White administration in 2019 for White’s 6th and final term as Secretary of State.

Comment by Old Veteran Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:36 pm
Sec. White, seen here with his rarely photographed and elusive conjoined twin Barry.

Comment by Tex Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:38 pm
Geez Jerry:

If you look at the back of my head, you’ll see that I also have a ‘Touch of Grey’

train111

Comment by train111 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 1:49 pm
Disappointed he couldn’t be in Asia for the solar eclipse, the mystic hippy asks Jesse White to walk in front of the sun for him.

Comment by wc kid Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:20 pm
SOS Jesse White announces effort to cut budget by converting southern Illinois license branches to homeless shelters.

Comment by Nick Nameless Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:30 pm
Secretary of State Jesse White first discovers the dire economic circumstances while visiting Pawnee, where nothing was shakin’ on Shakedown Street… It used to be the heart of town….

Comment by Heartless Libertarian Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:48 pm
DUDE! I wanna RIDE!!!

Comment by 312 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:55 pm
Jesse White poses with his Bizarro World self, White Jesse.

Comment by Anon Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:59 pm
“Jesse, would you train the Albus Dombledore Tumblers at Hogwarts?”

Comment by Darrell Widen Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:05 pm
“Dude, Where’s my Driver’s License?”

Comment by BigDog Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:07 pm
Secretary of State White asks advice on how to stay off of the most influential political blog in the State of Illinois from the one, known to some as Obamalac….

Comment by 618er Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:11 pm
Former SOS George Ryan reported to his successor that barbers aren’t allowed into federal prisons.

Comment by Mr. Know-it-All Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:13 pm
After a quick visit to the Optometrist, Secretary of State Jesse White was pleased to present Jerry Garcia with his new Illinois Drivers License.

Comment by KenoMan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:13 pm
Jesse White “I said I wanted Cherry Garcia, not Jerry Garcia!”

Comment by PaulieM Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:25 pm
Mitch C should win. He used mine first!

Comment by siriusly Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:29 pm
Bob the ventriloquist struggled for years practicing in his mother’s basement before finding a niche with his remarkably life-like Jesse White doll. Although bookings for children’s parties haven’t taken off as planned, Bob continues to be pleased with the number of requests to perform at organ donor events and senior bingo games. Bob’s signature act is drinking a glass of water while “Jesse” extols the merits of signing up for organ donor registries.

Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:40 pm
Michael Jackson. Before and after the effects of excessive cosmetic surgery.

Comment by robertb59 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:43 pm
Rich Miller and Jesse White pose for a photograph celebrating White’s election to his 10th term as Secretary of State.

Comment by John Bambenek Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:43 pm
Jesse White and Steve Rhodes pose for pictures before embarking on a 20-city tour of Neil Simon’s The Odd Couple.

Comment by The Hairbrush Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:43 pm
Secretary of State tracks down real Pat Quinn

White said Quinn had been living on a commune outside Carbondale for 12 years, completely unaware that an impostor had become governor. Quinn said, “You mean I can like make laws and stuff now for real? Dude, power to the people!”

Comment by OldSmokey2 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 3:58 pm
Jesse: It’s a pleasure to meet you, VanillaMan. You’re a real throwback to the good old days. Now, how about a tune?

Comment by Bill Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 4:10 pm
The first thing Rod Blagojevich saw last Sunday morning when he woke up after a long Saturday night of drinking.

Comment by Speaking at Will Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 4:29 pm
Woah!

Comment by VanillaMan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 4:40 pm
Jesse White is pleased that Jerry Bryant joined the Illinois Secretary of State’s new First-Person Consent Organ/Tissue Donor Registry. More than twenty bald men will benefit from Bryant’s follicles.

Comment by Boone Logan Square Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 4:44 pm
Jesse White: “This is why we are pushing to reduce the cuts being made to social programs”

Comment by John Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 4:56 pm
Jesse and one of the original Tumblers.

(But seriously, I think How Ironic wins).

Comment by OT Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 5:01 pm
Secretary of State Jesse White congratulates longest waiting DMV drivers license applicant. His wait began at age 16 and ended today.

Comment by Bill McKay Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 5:09 pm
Governor, I think when 1980s Pat came to visit you yesterday and he mentioned that new-fangled drug “Rogaine” … I just don’t think he meant you’re supposed to bathe in it Governor. Just try dabbing it on and see how that works.

–

I bow to How Ironic’s early morning masterpiece though.

Comment by Rob_N Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 5:14 pm
You been farming long?

Comment by No Clout Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 5:37 pm
I can’t believe I agreed to have my picture taken with this Ole Hippy Cracker!

Comment by Windy City Hustler Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:11 pm
Jesse White: This is what Rod Blagojevich will look like when he is released from prison.

Comment by profiles in courage Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:44 pm
In response to the question, “What Does A ‘Conservative’ Democrat Look Like?”, the Democrats released this photo of Jesse White and an unidentified gentleman at a recent event. However, responses to the photo since its publication indicate that the general public are now more confused than ever before.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:49 pm
Jessie introduces the modern day Moses to save the Land of Lincoln.

Comment by Master Plan Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:55 pm
Good lord, now you know what it takes to get blogger participation…..free anything and down go the Cheeto’s and up with the wit.

Comment by You Go Boy Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 6:58 pm
Flatterer.

Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:02 pm
JW - I have had the tumbling team for 47 years and sir after your try out you are not a very good tumbler but you are a great stumbler and as we say in my neighborhood you Da’ Man

Comment by Pete Burg Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:15 pm
Seriously Dude, at your age you don’t need Greecian Formula or the Hair Club just try this….it’s medically legal in some places

Comment by one day at a time Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:33 pm
- Anon - Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 2:59 pm:

By far the best so far.

Comment by heet101 Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 7:52 pm
Meet my new Inspector General…

Comment by keepjesseoutofjail Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 8:17 pm
Jesse — Professor Dumbledore, only a powerful wizard can fix our state budget!!

Dumbledore — Sorry, even I can’t help. May the force be with you (oops, wrong movie!)

Comment by Watching Rome Burn... Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 9:34 pm
Jesse White congratulates the first recipient of the new Under-21 driver’s license, who was under 21 when he got in line…

Comment by winco Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:06 pm
In a surprise move, Jesse White endorses Rich Whitney in the 2010 Green party primary.

Comment by Vote Quimby! Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 10:19 pm
Jerry Garcia and Merl Saunders. . . together again!

Comment by Pale Rider Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:56 pm
A man in his seventies and a man from the seventies.

Comment by 2nd Try Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 12:19 am
Whose your daddy? At long last, I found mine!

Comment by Cynic Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 2:05 am
My Vote:

===anon111 - Wednesday, Jul 22, 09 @ 11:29 am:

Someone call security, this man is NOT Steve Schnorf===

LOLOLOL!!!

Comment by Mike Murray Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 6:04 am
I’m Secretary of State Jesse White. Hair and a beard can save a life. Become an organ donor today.

Comment by Anon Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 6:39 am
“Ebony and Ivory are together in perfect Harmony…”

Comment by one to the dome Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 6:49 am
White: I think we will pass on your Organ Donation Form!

Comment by He Makes Ryan Look Like a Saint Thursday, Jul 23, 09 @ 8:47 am