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* What do you think Gov. Pat Quinn asked Santa for this year?
Snark heavily encouraged, of course. Comments composed as actual letters to Santa win extra points.
posted by Rich Miller
Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:13 pm
Sorry, comments are closed at this time.
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A chief of staff.
Comment by piling on Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:23 pm
A Red Ryder bb gun
Comment by Ralphie Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:29 pm
a spine
Comment by what the? Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:29 pm
Whatever it was originally, he’s probably changed his mind several times since.
Comment by Tom Servo Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:30 pm
A copy of AFSCME’s Christmas list for upcoming contract negotiations. Quinn owes AFSCME big. Sometime in the next four years, he’s going to have to fill it. $$$$$$.
Comment by cassandra Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:31 pm
Dear Santa,
I’ve been really good this year and want the following things:
Oooooohhh look at Kitty!
Comment by ExtraFakePatQuinn'sBrain Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:35 pm
Dear Santa,
All I want this year is for you to not forget to show up in Illinois. Really, thats it. I swear, if one more thing goes wrong here, they’re going to stone me. I can’t take it, the only sleep I’ve gotten in months is during press events when others are speaking. Please don’t let me down, I’ll even declare March 3rd as the official “Santa Day” in Illinois.
Sincerely,
Pat
Comment by Small Town Liberal Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:37 pm
I am not sure if Pat Quinn sent Santa Claus a Christmas Wish List, but, if he were off to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz, I think that he should ask for the same thing that the Scarecrow requested.
Comment by Honest Abe Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:38 pm
I would like Pat Quinn to wake up Christmas morning (or even tomorrow) and find the state is suddenly awash in cash.
Comment by Cheryl44 Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:42 pm
Dear Santa,
I would really appreciate $16 billion dollars this year and $8-9 billion a year through the end of my tenure in office. I don’t need the money for myself, its for all of my friends in Illinois. That includes this guy Mike, who I think is my friend, but I’m not always sure, so I call him my friend even though he doesn’t help me in the ways that I hope he will. Which reminds me of another friend I had, who definitely wasn’t my friend, but I had to work with him until he got arrested, and this whole money thing is partly his fault. But back to my Illinois friends who are always asking me for stuff and then get mad at me when I don’t give it to them right away, so this money will help me keep them happy, which is what I want them to be. I plan to buy them trains, which help move people around, and build and staff prisons because some of my friends are naughty, but I can’t keep them all locked up because its too crowded, but when I let some of them out early, they were bad again and I got some of the blame for that, even though I didn’t know they would be bad when they got out, and some of the money will provide health care for sick people because people do get sick, and sometimes it’s expensive to help them get better, so we need the money to help out with that and also for the schools because the kids deserve a good education because it will help them get good jobs when they grow up and good jobs are what my friends and what my state needs, because people with jobs are less likely to be naughty which keeps them out of prison, which is good, and what a state should do for its citizens, and the money will also help out with my friends retirement fund, which I am supposed to put money into, but I haven’t been able to, so I had to tell some of my friends they would have to wait before they could retire which is not nice, but its what had to happen so there would be money for schools and jobs and railroads. And the money will also help==end page 1 of 549==
Comment by Pot calling kettle Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:42 pm
Dear Santa,
Please bring me a mandate. I thought I had already received one this year, but I was clearly mistaken.
Sincerly, Pat
P.S. I will leave you some milk and cookies next to the drawer I keep my underwear in at the mansion.
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:44 pm
Oops. Anon 12:44 was me.
Comment by Downstate weed chewing hick Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:44 pm
Santa,
I have tried to be good, but it just keeps getting tougher everyday. Everyone always wants more and it is never enough. My dad just says something about herding cats, which I just do not get.
I would like a Gibson Flying V w/ a 100 watt Marshall. That way they will have to hear me. A 36 oz softball bat that I can take to meetings with Mike and John would be great. An 8-track tape of New Riders of Purple Sage doing ‘Red Neck Mother’ and ‘Panama Red’ would be great for the car.
I still believe. Your friend,
Pat
Comment by zatoichi Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:46 pm
Dear S. Claus:
This letter is to notify you of your failure to collect State of Illinois sales tax for all items produced, gifted or sold (on line or otherwise) with any connnection to Illinois. You are encouraged to take advantage of the amnesty period by paying past revenue due (back to 2004) at 6.25%.
P. Quinn
Comment by washedmyhands Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:47 pm
“A Red Ryder bb gun”
Nope, not gonna happen, Monken would put his eye out with it.
Comment by Give Me A Break Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:49 pm
Dear Santa:
Please give me the income tax hike I need, plus please have a horrible Apple Blight occur this year. I need the leverage.
Comment by Gregor Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:52 pm
A balanced budget and a new briefcase.
Comment by Ahoy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:54 pm
A brain.
Comment by Samwise Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:55 pm
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is $17 billion. In cash. Thanks.
Pat Quinn
Comment by 47th Ward Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:56 pm
Dear Santa, If you have time and I certainly understand if you do not have time and please make sure you take care of the will of the people first but if you do get around to it could you please, please give me some vision, leadership and courage?
Comment by methinks Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 12:58 pm
Dear Santa,
This year I am asking for two things instead of one. Unfortunately the rules of this board don’t permit me to specifically list what they are so I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Love,
Pat
Comment by Stones Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:00 pm
A Democratic majority in both houses of the legislature - oh crap what do you mean we already have one!
Comment by Fed-Up Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:06 pm
Political instincts.
Comment by Seriously??? Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:07 pm
Peace, love, and no more Sunday pressers…
Comment by Loop Lady Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:07 pm
Dear Santa,
I know it is considered improper for a state to be “for sale”. But what about adoption, instead? Please, please let Warren Buffett adopt Illinois. He already has way more money than he needs and he does seem to have a better track record on managing finance than we do.
Thank you in advance,
Soy Boy
P.S. you may deliver presents to both my Springfield and Chicago homes since I am not sure where I’ll be waking up on Christmas morning.
Comment by Responsa Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:08 pm
Dear Santa:
Please send me some people who know how to regulate and enforce the Gaming industry in this state. Obviously the ‘chicago attorneys’ nor the state police have any idea how to get video poker up and running. Also, give me the backbone to tell the FOP where to stick it since they didn’t even support me in the election. And while I’m writing you about this, please send me a director of the state police who is out of puberty.
Love,
Patrick
Comment by IGB Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:14 pm
Dear Santa,
I would like the following toys, not for me, but for all of Illinois:
Forget-inator - So I can make people forget when I raise taxes.
Ill-iminator - So I can make cuts without anyone noticing I am cutting what they want to keep.
Budget-inator - To make the budget so appealing that Speaker Madigan and President Cullerton love the budget so much, it will breeze through.
Debt-inator - to move the decimal point over a couple of places to make the debt smaller, “magically”.
Appoint-inator - To remove all the “bad” appointments Rod made with “good” ones, no matter who I choose (even if its a reappointment!)
Speech-inator - So when I give a speech that rambles and has no clear direction, everyone will just clap and laugh and cheer at my speeches!
Scandal-inator - to magically “poof” all the scandals of Rod, and all the bad decisions people “think” I make that snowball to petty scandals.
Map-inator - to make the “perfect map” for Speaker Madigan and President Cullerton. Yea map!
Two-Term-inator - this will keep Lisa from running in 4 years so I get two full terms …it won’t hurt her, just stun her till 2018.
That’s it Santa … oh, and a bike with tassles and a horn!
Thanks,
Pat Quinn
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:15 pm
Dear Santa:
All in all, I’ve its been a pretty up year…oh wait…All in all it’s been a pretty good year…uh…
Santa, let’s face it. With the exception of the election, it’s been a horrible year and I have no prospect of things getting better anytime soon. Is there some way you can instill confidence in our economy so that people will start buying things again and create demand and jobs?
I’ve finally come to the same conclusion as many of my critics. I’m just too inept to change things…every one of my economic stimulus programs have ended up bupkis. So, if I could ask for anything this Christmas, could you please give me some ept?
Patrick
PS: I was going to leave you some imported cookies from one of those swanky Online places, but once I realized how much the sales tax would be, and that I would have to pay it myself, you’ll just have to settle for Salerno Butter Cookies…
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:18 pm
Dear Santa,
This year for Christmas I would like to respectfully ask for the gift of a spine. As you may have noted in the past year or so, my lack of such a critical anatomical structural component has left Illinois more adrift than if the vacancy for Governor after the impeachment of my predecessor had simply gone un-filled. In addition to the actions of the past year, the lack of a vertebrae also almost cost me the election to the office as well.
Citizens of this state fear for our collective future, and I now join them in this heightened level of concern. Without a spine, I will never be able to effectively represent them in upcoming budget negotiations with the legislative leaders, and despite all the suggested gravitas of a proposed tax hike during the campaign, I also know in my heart of hearts that massive spending cuts will be required as well if our state is to move forward.
In the event that your elves are completely out of spinal hardware, and there is insuffient time to create a new one before Christmas, then as an alternative a couple of brass spherical items might probably serve just as well. The longer I go on firing blanks however the more impotent I will appear, and that is not good for our government no matter what.
Thanks Santa for your consideration. Anything you can do would be most appreciated.
Pat
Comment by Quinn T. Sential Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:20 pm
The same thing the Cowardly Lion asked the Wizard of Oz for. “Courage”. He is going to need it during the next 4 years dealing with the deficit.
Comment by "Old Timer Dem" Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:33 pm
Dear Santa,
We’re not perfect here in Illinois, but we’re generally good girls and boys. I’ve been a good boy too. A good Soy Boy. That’s what they call me, Soy Boy. I love Soy.
Soy is the way of the future here in the Heartland. Heartland. George Strait has a song called Heartland. He really captures the spirit of good middle-American values.
There’s a lot of value in commerce, whether it’s international commerce or interstate commerce. That’s why we need to keep the locks open. And it’s why high speed rail will take a family of four in Chicago or Arlington Heights who wants to have a family vacation in Alton. They can do that if we get the rail.
We can do all that if we’re strong. Courageous. Corintians 6:13 says, “be men of courage be strong.”
And that’s how we’ll make the will of the people the law of the land.
Love,
Pat.
PS. I’d like one of those new iThingies. They don’t have cable at Motel 6.
Comment by Bill F. Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:48 pm
Dear Santa,
Like many of my constitutents, I don’t have much in my refrigerator. Can you please bring me a food basket?
Thanks,
Patrick
Comment by Anonymous Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:54 pm
- IGB - Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:14 pm:
Dear Santa:
Please send me some people who know how to regulate and enforce the Gaming industry in this state. Obviously the ‘chicago attorneys’ nor the state police have any idea how to get video poker up and running. Also, give me the backbone to tell the FOP where to stick it since they didn’t even support me in the election. And while I’m writing you about this, please send me a director of the state police who is out of puberty.
Love,
Patrick
————————–
Ha! It will never change!!!! If Illinois was a body, then the state police would be its cancer. You can’t get rid of it and it serves no real purpose!
Comment by Hilarityofseriousness Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:55 pm
Anonymous - “refridgeratior” = Hilarious!
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:55 pm
Dear Santa,
I’ve been very good this year. (Don’t believe the polls.) All I want for Christmas this year is an appointment with Speaker Madigan. Do you think you can get me in?
Your pal,
Pat
P.S.) Maybe some food for my fridge too. I already have plenty of condiments.
Comment by Ron Burgundy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:57 pm
Dear Santa,
I’ve been a good boy this year. Ruby slippers to find my way home, a brain to figure out this mess I’ve gotten myself in, a heart to help fund all the non-for-profits that are bankrupt because of the State and finally the courage to break from the Politics as Usual and actually bring the good people of Illinois a responsible government.
I understand this is asking a lot, so if you can’t deliver then just write me a big, fat check!
Your little boy all grown up.
Patty Quinn
Comment by Paul S. Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 1:59 pm
Dear Santa:
You know me, I have no right to write to you and ask for more, what with giving me the governor’s win and that Blackhawk’s win (and me getting to dance for TV) but I’m asking anyway. you know me, if it’s free, I like to do it.
Besides my usual request for the Sox to win the World Series (and then I will get to dance again) please send Mike Madigan
a heart. I don’t have much of a brain, and he has a big brain, but no heart to help my oversized heart and oversized tongue do things. So, please bring him even a tiny heart and maybe the brain you have given me will be allowed to work with the man who runs our state.
And hugs for all the Vets,
patrick
Comment by amalia Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:00 pm
Dear, dear, dear Saint Nicolas,
First, let me thank you for your very generous service to all of people of Illinois, from all the way from Cairo to Chicago and back. Now, rather than beat around the bush, because I know you are a very busy man this season, and millions of boys and girls must come first in line with their requests, I don’t wish to take up any more of your time than is necessary to get my request to you. So, without further ado, and with all humility and due respect, do you think that you could bring to me on Christmas day, and let us remember what this day means to Christians all over the world, could you bring to me a copy of “The Meanderer’s Guide to the Universe”. I think this will come in so handy to me as I enter into my third year of serving the people of the great state of Illinois!
Travel safely and wear your seatbelt. Best of wishes to you and yours, Patrick Quinn, Governor
Comment by vole Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:03 pm
Santa,
Since last year you gave me Bill Brady for an opponent, I don’t need anything at all this year.
Patrick
Comment by The Ghost of Shadrack Bond Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:06 pm
Dear Santa-
Thank you for providing me with the election victory that I requested last year. Your elves did a masterful job in keeping Brady’s voters away. I really can’t thank you enough.
I hate to be a pest after all you’ve done for me this past year, but…a Super 8 gift certificate, a White Sox headband, a leather repair kit and of course, the annual twelve pack of Goebel Golden Light will be just fine.
Your friend,
Patrick Q.
Springfield IL
Comment by Jake from Elwood Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:07 pm
Dear Santa,
For Christmas please take me back to the time when I was a gadfly populist. That was a lot more fun than being Governor.
Pat
Comment by One of the 35 Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:08 pm
relevance
Comment by anon Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:11 pm
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is a big bail-out from the federal government. This will allow me to use the money I collect from my tax increase to hire moe people in Illinois government. Oh, one more thing - I would like some dancing lessons.
CC: Barack Obama
Dick Durbin
Comment by Holdingontomywallet Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:11 pm
A bridle for Shelia.
Comment by Been There/Done That Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:17 pm
The magical ability to make a…decision
Comment by GetOverIt Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:19 pm
Rich, what was wrong with my posts?
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:29 pm
A miracle.
Comment by Aldyth Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:31 pm
Santa Baby,
You already gave me Blago, Burr Oak and Bill Brady, so I feel kind of funny about asking for more gifts.
I don’t know this year if I’ve been good or just lucky (always better to be lucky), but here’s just a few items I would love to see you bring down one of the Mansion’s chimneys (careful coming down; they haven’t been tuckpointed in a while).
– A new phone and unlisted number so Ed B. and Emil J. stop calling about jobs and favors after they plowed all that money into my primary campaign.
– Ron Santo’s gamer.
– Just a little respect from MJM.
– Extra-strength Ritalin before my next State of the State speech (focus, focus, focus).
– $20 billion cash (gives me a little wiggle room).
I can’t wait until Christmas Eve. I promise this year I’ll try not to eat all the cookies I leave on the mantle (watch that mantle; pretty shaky).
Love,
Gov. Pat
P.S. You might not want to land the reindeer and sleigh on the Mansion roof. Come to think of it, can you throw in a new Mansion roof?
Comment by wordslinger Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:36 pm
All the things the major characters wanted from the Wizard of Oz.
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:38 pm
Coherence
Comment by Bring Back Boone's Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:40 pm
Courage…oh, wait that one was for the Wizard behind the curtain.
Comment by Niles Township Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:42 pm
A Blago toupee.
Comment by Pat Robertson Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:52 pm
A new notebook for all those important scribbles.
Comment by Siriusly Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 2:55 pm
Been There: and a cramp in your typing finger…
Comment by Loop Lady Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:00 pm
A new tie- not purple and black.
Comment by Lefty Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:05 pm
Dear Santa,
My first wish is that all the children of the world would join hands and sing together in a spirit of peace and harmony. My second wish is for $30 million every month to be given to me tax free in a Swiss bank account. My third wish is all encompassing power over every living being in the universe. Finally, I wish for revenge against all my enemies - they should die like pigs.
Yours Truly
Soy Boy
Comment by stooges Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:10 pm
Why are my posts disappearing?
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:14 pm
Darn you, Word. I am now unable to get Santa, Baby out of my head. I keep singing snatches of it. My colleagues seem troubled by this.
Comment by soccermom Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:21 pm
Oswego Willy,
I’d say you either need to clear you cache, or you have exceeded the limits on the Rich Miller Snark Mask®
Comment by Cincinnatus Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:21 pm
Dear Santa,
If you see fit to send Coal, please make it hard coal. THis soft stuff is killing us. Second, if it is coal, please allow the EPA to keep us running our burners.
If for some reason I am on the “Good list” I would like someone else to blame next year for the mess we are in. I am running out of people.
I would also like all neighboring state blighted with floods socialist governments worse then our’s and a governor that refuses Federal money. Oh wait, got part of that already.
Anyway, I would also like a Rahm kicked off the ballot so the election of mayor is so bloody that I look normal.
Thank you santa, and remember, please drop this at the Chicago address, everyone know Chicago gov don’t live in Springfield.
Comment by frustrated GOP Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:30 pm
C-
If I did break the limit for Rich, I would hope he would tell me … you see any of my posts cincinnatus?
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:35 pm
Dear Santa,
I just wanted to thank you for that election thing. It was swell of you, and I think you’ve done plenty for me this year, so I won’t ask for anything else. I know it looked like I was doing my damnedest to lose it, but really, I was just trying to make sure everyone would think of me as a good boy. Yes, that required me to change my mind from time to time (or day to day), but I just want to keep everyone happy. After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?
Sincerely,
Pat
p.s. Speaking of changing my mind… it occurs to me that a tax increase would sure come in handy. Not for me, but for the kids. Education and all that. Thanks.
Comment by Lucky Stars Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:43 pm
OW, there’s a preset character limit to prevent certain folks from pasting in entire news stories, and to prevent weirdos from writing long nonsensical rants. Unfortunately, you exceeded that limit, so your comment was placed in moderation. I was out of the office and busy and didn’t check the que.
TMI?
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:43 pm
Dear Santa,
I believe I have been very good this year, so did the voters of Illinois. They gave me a mandate. I would like duct tape. Lots and lots of duct tape…about $13 billion.
Thank you,
Pat Q.
Comment by Mr. Peepers Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:48 pm
lol … I guess I am a wierdo! …Rich, i just didn’t want to break a rule(s) …hope you are doing better.
Comment by Oswego Willy Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 3:49 pm
Dear Santa,
Thank you for your generosity this past year. I really loved the primary win by a margin of 2 votes and played with it all summer even though the Stabby Running Mate Action Figure wasn’t very fun.
The general election win by a margin of 5 votes was delightful, and it worked really well with the Stabby Third Party Candidate Action Figure.
These gifts were great — these narrow margins are exciting! I guess what I want under my tree this Xmas is passage of my budget in the state legislature by one or two votes. If you give it to me, Santa, I promise to be a good boy all of 201l.
Thank you Santa!
Pat Quinn
Comment by Boone Logan Square Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:05 pm
Dear Santa,
I’m Gov. Pat Quinn, the governor of Illinois. You know me. I’ve been fighting all my life for the working people of this state, Illinois, the Land of Lincoln.
I was at the Lincoln Presidential Museum not long ago, in Springfield, the state capital, where I live and keep my underwear, which is how you know where a man lives. Did Rahm leave his underwear in Chicago? And I watched that hologram show. I still haven’t figured out how they did that. I asked my staff for a report, but then the campaign heated up and it kinda got lost in the shuffle sometime after I fired my pollster. Or was it my media adviser? I’m not sure. I think it was the pollster. But I think I have it somewhere in my briefcase. Where is Betsy? Oh, she’s right here. Umm… Wait… Hold on… No, that’s my lucky purple tie. I wear it because I went to Northwestern. Go Cats! And go Sox! Can’t forget the Sox. They’re my team. Barack Obama loves the White Sox. And Ozzie’s the best manager in the American League.
And may God bless America. And Illinois, the Land of Lincoln, which is bordered by the Mighty Mississippi, the longest river in the country and the biggest river in the entire nation. .
Sincerely,
Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn
Governor of Illinois
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:14 pm
Dear Santa,
As an addendum to my previous letter, please tell Pete Giangreco to stop picking on me.
Sincerely,
Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn
Governor of Illinois
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:18 pm
Dear Santa,
Please send me a few billion dollars, it’s for the children, so they won’t lose the teachers and their pension plans. For me, all I want is some new underwear and a Super 8 motel card. Please send Mike Madigan tickets for an extended sea cruise, lasting at least a year. And send the Tribune a lump of coal for refusing to endorse me.
I don’t have any cookies, and the fridge is almost bare, but I’ll leave you a dish of jello.
Best Regards,
Governor Quinn
Comment by Wensicia Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:26 pm
Christmas list for Santa by Pat Quinn
- Dance lessons
- A legitimate user name for Capitol Fax Blog
- The courage never go on a reality show
- Comic books
- Tree trimmers for the mansion
- Perfume for my mom
Comment by Chessie Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:31 pm
Dear Santa,
For clarity’s sake, it was my pollster.
Sincerely,
Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn
Governor of Illinois
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:37 pm
Dear Santa -
I’m writing to ask for a new Magic 8-Ball. Mike Madigan and John Cullerton say the one I’ve been using for the past two years isn’t working. And, if at all possible, could you replace “Outlook not so good” with “May the Will of the People be the Law of the Land?”
Just to be safe, probably best not to use the roof or the elevator at the governor’s mansion. However, if something should happen and you’re injured, be forewarned that under new worker’s comp legislation advanced by the Illinois Chamber of Commerce, you no longer get to pick your doctor, the government does. His name, just in case, is Kevorkian.
Happy Christmas!
Pat
P.S. Sorry, no milk and cookies…budget cuts, shared sacrifice, and all that hoohah.
Comment by Yellow Dog Democrat Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:42 pm
Spinach to make him “big and strong”
Earplugs to mute all the banjo music from Sheila
Comment by ANON Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:53 pm
Dear Santa,
For further clarity’s sake, my pollster quit. I fired my media adviser.
Sincerely,
Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn
Governor of Illinois
Comment by Rich Miller Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 4:57 pm
==For further clarity’s sake, my pollster quit. I fired my media adviser.==
And those responsible for sacking the Blagojevich appointees have been sacked.
Comment by Ralph, the Wonder Llama Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 5:05 pm
Dear Santa -
Please ignore all of the previous letters asking for billion dollars. In my haste to write to you, I forgot my ethics training that was imposed by blago. Due to the ethics laws, I can not accept anything worth more than $75.00.
I can not accept a new spine or brain either. The hospital and surgery costs would exceed the $75 limit. Also, I don’t know anybody who is willing to be a donor.
Thanks, your buddy,
Pat
Comment by Huh? Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 5:08 pm
Dear Santa:
Please continue to bless us with CPOs/SPOs and contract monitors from the Executive Ethics Commission. If they really are dedicated, and do everything they are supposed to and everything they want to do, procurement will be sufficiently slowed to allow us to balance the budget without a tax increase. And I won’t be blamed for anything!
Thanks
Pat Quinn
Comment by In the Sticks Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 9:06 pm
LOL @ Rich 414. That classic Quinn rambling speech in search of an exit ramp genuinely gave me a big laugh out loud!
Squirrel.
Comment by Chicago Cynic Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 9:34 pm
Money from Obama to bail the State out of debt.
Comment by Zoble21 Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 10:30 pm
Dear Santa,
I’ve been a very good boy this year. I earned a mandate and want you to help me make the will of the people the law of the land. If Mike and John won’t help, you can give them coal.
Everybody says that Indiana is great so I’d like to ask you to move my man Mitch to Illinois.
Finally, just for advanced planning, I’d like to ask that you give Bill Brady a good district so he will stick around and run again in four years.
Love,
Pat
P.S. If you promise not to lay off any elves for two years, they will be in your pocket. I can send David Vaught to sit in the meeting if needed.
Comment by 4 percent Wednesday, Dec 15, 10 @ 11:00 pm
Dear Santa:
O.K. I ‘ll admit it
Please bring me a high quality hearing aid so I can listen to all the good ideas from Mike and John.
thanks
PQ
Comment by CircularFiringSquad Thursday, Dec 16, 10 @ 9:12 am
Gov. Quinn will ask Santa for the only terrestrial deposit of Unobtanium to be found under a DeKalb County farm, leading to an oil-sheikdom like boom for the state.
Comment by Eric Thursday, Dec 16, 10 @ 9:41 am