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* Tribune…
We can only imagine the brainstorming sessions with Quinn’s leadership team that resulted in Squeezy and his artistic rendering: an orange snake coiled around the state Capitol, his (or maybe her) forked tongue slithering into an open window ominously. Which ideas ended up on the cutting room floor? Buddy the Bankrupt Bear? The Great Disappearing Dollar, Bill? Puff the Magic Draggin’? What about Peter, Peter Pension Eater?
* The Question: Which other ideas ended up on the cutting room floor?
Have fun. Keep it clean. Thanks.
posted by Rich Miller
Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:34 am
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Rich, this is the toughest assignment yet.
You are asking … to come up with WORSE ideas than “Squeezy”.
Something WORSE. This is a “big ask”.
Heaven help us all.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:38 am
Second Coming Quinn the Pension Slayer!
Comment by Spliff Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:39 am
St. Jude?
Happy Thanksgiving, Rich and all.
Comment by Greg Blankenship Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:42 am
Cleo the Chameleon, it turns into whatever the state needs it to be…
Comment by Just saying Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:42 am
We’ve had “Hope & Change” four years ago, “Forward”- this past-election’s logo; now from the same state that brought you LINCOLN and Obama . . . . . “Back to the Futile” starring Pat ‘the Called One’ Quinn.
Comment by East Central Illinois Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:45 am
Filan the Fiscal Fritter Flayer?
Comment by Anyone Remember? Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:48 am
“Cleo the Chameleon” - - - that’s great!
Comment by East Central Illinois Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:48 am
Mikey the Scheming Leprechaun?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:49 am
Christine the Irrelevant Elepant?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:49 am
“Hands-Full and ReGrettable”
Comment by LincolnLounger Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:50 am
Um, Elephant
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:50 am
Willy, did we stop when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?
I didn’t think so.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:50 am
Actually, the Illinois is Broke crew had the first choice — Crazy Abe Lincoln, walking around with his empty pockets turned out.
Comment by wordslinger Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:50 am
BooBoo the bear looking for the picnic basket.
Comment by Past the Rule of 85 Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:51 am
Affy the asphyxiating asp?
Mikey the murderous leprechaun?
And generically, Buddy the Burrowing Badger.
Comment by The Other Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:52 am
I’m not sure what the better character would be but I can’t wait until those dozens of new legislators (who don’t even know how to file a bill) get sworn in so they can solve the mess like they promised the voters that they would.
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:52 am
===Christine the Irrelevant Elepant?===
I would add …Christine the Invisible Irrelevent Elephant.
I forget her at times…
Everyone, Shhh … AA’s rolling …
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:52 am
Patches the out of work Illinoisan
Comment by Donnie Veal Limone Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:53 am
A sober, data-driven approach that didn’t demean the debate or insult the audience and was actually written with adults in mind.
Comment by The Captain Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:55 am
I like Peter Peter Pension Eater.
Comment by Cheryl44 Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:55 am
What other ideas?
Pat: Maybe if we had an image to explain how pension costs are strangling everything around here.
Staffer: You mean, like a giant snake coiled around the capitol?
Pat: Stop drilling, you’ve hit oil!
Comment by Elo Kiddies Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:56 am
===Illinois is Broke crew had the first choice — Crazy Abe Lincoln,…===
I miss those days. Man, we were so young then.
Suzie the Legislative Sloth. She moves, but you have to watch her very carefully. Honest.
Frank the Fiscal Fish. Swimming upstream of the debt and ignoring all danger to spawn, then die.
Penny the Rainy Day Fund Puppy. Penny’s Lost! … No, Seriously Penny is lost.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:57 am
Illinois as the giving tree, continuing to give even though there is nothing left to give
Comment by Plutocrat03 Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:57 am
Peter the Prehensile Proboscis
Comment by jake Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:57 am
Careless the Cardinal — as the state bird, just walks around tossing money that grows on his tree every morning.
This was scrapped because Quinn can’t be seen as taking sides with spring training just around the corner — oh yeah, and it’s the state bird.
Comment by unclesam Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:59 am
My guess: porky the pension hungry pig, Pamela the pension squeezing salamander, and bubba the bloated pension loving bear
Comment by Abe the Babe Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:59 am
Since Arch, OneMan, Word and so many others have so effectively pointed out what is wrong with the Squeezy site, I went hunting for answers to RNUG’s question about rejected mascots. Here’s what I found:
Packy, the Pachyderm Pension Stomper - Rejected, raises GOP images.
Pandy, the Pension Pandering Panda - Rejected, may offend an ethnic group.
Roger Reformer, the Pension Reform Bunny - Rejected, Easter is too far away.
Rooty the Piggy, Rooting for Pension Solutions - Rejected, this is turkey season.
Tommy, the Pension Stuffing Turkey - Rejected, stuffing can be fattening.
Comment by Norseman Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:00 pm
Percy the Pension Pirate- Robbing Illinois Taxpayers’ Booty
You can see why this one didn’t make the cut, but I hear it was heavily debated.
Comment by Lil Squeezy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:08 pm
Part of the pension problem:
Dopey the Double-Dippin Dwarf
train111
Comment by train111 Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:11 pm
“Skippy” (for all the General Assemblies that have skipped making the State’s pension payments) should be cast as a member of this cartoon also.
Comment by Joe M Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:18 pm
How about the pension debt Blob covering the Capitol? It’s growing bigger and bigger every day while members of the General Assembly run screaming in all directions!
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:21 pm
“Testy, The Enlarged Pension Prostate”
– MrJM
Comment by MrJM Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:22 pm
We need Henry The Hawk,looking for tax cheats. This is so stupid. Get your Quinn the Decider code ring.
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:23 pm
Litle Red Pension Ink
Comment by Hank Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:32 pm
Piggy the Pork Barrel Politican …. oops, wrong image stealing the pension money
The Pillsbury Dough Boy with a recipe for cooking the fiscal pie … can’t be caught cooking the books
State employees milking Elsie the Cash Cow … right image but the Treasurer is already doing that Cash Dash thingie
Cheating Cobra … but Mike the Mongoose might get him
Pension Pushing Pachyderm … don’t want any elephants to remind people of the other party
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:33 pm
Mudslinging Mammoth … might get dirt on us
AFSCME Anaconda … not a nice enough snake
Two Pension Tom the (Turkey) Taker … holiday themed so too short lived
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:39 pm
Andy The Actuarial Nightmare Aardvark
Billy The Bad Bond Rating Beagle
Chitty The Choking Growth Kitty
Dingie The Downward Debt Dingo
Eve The Ever Growing Deficit Elk
Comment by OneMan Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:43 pm
Willy,
We all love to talk about the crazy politics in this state. Who else is better qualified to meet this challenge?
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:45 pm
with apologies in advance to OW ..
Willie the Wascally Wealth Wasting Weivel … nope, might be seen as an attack on the whaet farmers
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:51 pm
Calling It In Quinn
Comment by just sayin' Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:51 pm
“Tom the Terrifying Tortoise”
“Dick the Dithering Dinosaur”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:51 pm
Shirkey the Pension Holiday Elf
Comment by Anon-Partisan Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:52 pm
Steve Rhodes already suggested Stinky the Dead Fish if Rahm wants to get in on this effort.
I’ll go with:
Actuarial Asian Carp devours all other budget items by out competing native spending programs.
Comment by 47th Ward Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 12:53 pm
- RNUG -
I have been called worse, and those are by people who I consider friends!
I know we CAN do it, but this is the toughest Rich has asked.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:05 pm
Y’all have no appreciation for hard work, do you?
This is actually new and improved Squeezy 5.0
Squeezy 1.0 wasn’t even a python. He was one of those swimmimg pool “noodle” floaty-thingies you see during the summer.
Few people know this, but the good Governor propped a bright orange “noodle” against the wall behind his desk back in August. For months, he’d spontaneously whip his chair around to try different sunglasses and “looks” on poor Squeezy.
Squeezy just sat there taking it, like a giant neon Mr. Potato Head. Stuck in purgatory.
Things got really crazy when PQ began cutting staffers off during meetings and mumbling things like “Noodles the Bandit? Noooo. We need a better name than that. McSqueezemonster? Noooo… Think, man, think.”
3 months of this, folks. 3 months of good old-fashioned, nose-to-the grindstone hard work and effort.
And still you fail to appreciate the finely finished product?
What about Squeezy’s bold coloring? His epically grand name and powerfully goofy eyes? The tactically delayed press blitz?
Nothing???
The nerve of some people.
Comment by Squeezy 1.0 Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:11 pm
George the Grassroots Gorilla
Comment by OurMagician Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:15 pm
Preston the Procrastinating Primate
Comment by Stu Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:31 pm
Rascal the Retirement Racoon … na, still brings up the idea of stealing the pensions plus racoons are cute
Tom the Takeback Tick … too creepy
Grabby the Greedy Guinea Pig … too blatent
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:32 pm
Soy Boy the powerless figurehead.
Comment by J Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:41 pm
Patrick the Pension-Solving Hypnotoad.
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AOfbnGkuGc
Comment by Boone Logan Square Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:45 pm
Everybody loves Hypnotoad.
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:48 pm
Wait, Quinn has a leadership team?
Comment by Anonymous Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:50 pm
The Fiscal Grinch
Comment by Nuclear Bozo Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 1:54 pm
Greedy the Patronage Panda
Comment by Preservationist Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:13 pm
More I think about it, I like Rascal the Retirement Racoon … when it doesn’t work, he could morph into Rocky the Revenue Raiser
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:19 pm
“Shifty the Switchy Skunk!”
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:23 pm
Clubbo, the Baby Seal Killer.
If you’re going to demonize the opposition, go all the way.
Comment by Anonymice Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:24 pm
Vapid the Viper?
Pensioney the Garter Snake?
Stinky the Sidewinder?
Risky the Rattler?
Grossly-expanding-in-over-our-headsey the Cobra?
Barry the Bad Boa Constrictor?
Comment by S. Dolopoulos Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:27 pm
Quinn as “Wimpy”, the weekend (press conference) warrior saying, “I’ll gladly pay you tuesday for a government today”
Comment by dupage dan Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:30 pm
C’mon Willy, the clock is ticking.
You must be aiming to knock the wind clean outta ol Squeezy.
In the meantime:
“Steve, the Speaking Sloth”*
*often seen in the shadow and foraging with species “Mike, Michael, or Mikey” noted above.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:48 pm
Turn in Robbie Robber-
This is a stick-up! Give me all your money and I’ll be back here next week and the week after that and the week after that and…
Comment by Help Fight Crime Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:52 pm
===C’mon Willy, the clock is ticking.
You must be aiming to knock the wind clean outta ol Squeezy.===
I am on a deadline, so I am trying to juggle.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 2:55 pm
Percy the Poison-Filled Pen!
Percy has been used to not pay the into the pensions by his wicked strokes. Only a Purple-tied, Bill Zwecker-looking, long answerer to simple quesions person can lead us, and the state of Ilinois and take on Percy and run that poison ink …dry.
We all must stop Percy, before its too late!
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:00 pm
Pension Blue Meanies. Dropped because the color “blue” could indicate complete Democratic culpability. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NgvPmS6oU-U/TIRf4V6tDkI/AAAAAAAAAfM/Aq4zY4xJgF0/s1600/blue-meanie-leader.jpg
Comment by Rich Miller Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:02 pm
Grabby the Grasping Gorillia
Mikey “Never Mind, I Got Mine” the Mule … nope, to close to one party’s mascot
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:04 pm
Hello! Has anyone seen Cassie the Checkbook?
Cassie has been a naughty “note”. Cassie pays everyone from Travel Vouchers, to Post-It for our beloved state.
But,
When Cassie is needed to pay into the Pension Fund, Cassie hides. Where can Cassie be? I know we used her to pay those silly leases …
If you see Cassie the Checkbook, get her to the General Assembly so they can write those “notes” and get pension reform back on “good paper”.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:05 pm
OW,
Think Cassie is in the Capitol catacombs?
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:10 pm
Bantie the Bantam that Balanced the Budget
Comment by RNUG Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:13 pm
Cassie was seen having lunch at Ratskeller’s last.
Gov. Quinn, “Look, a ‘pen’ and a ‘checkbook’ are just the dopiest thing I have heard yet. Tell me more about ‘Squeezy’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:13 pm
Willy, those day jobs do get in the way.
IIRC.
Very well done.
“Ty the Threatening Triceratops”
All talk, no action.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:17 pm
Tabby the Tapeworm - devours your food (revenues) before you can digest it
Comment by Capitol View Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:18 pm
AA, just two different channels of the brain working against each other, and writing “bad” ideas, on purpose, that can also be funny is not helping in my other task.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:24 pm
Danjo the Duct Tape Pension Folder:
“Hi, I am Danjo. I never use to look like this. I was always looked after, never had a worry. Then, suddenly, my folder would be hafl full and I would tear. The tearing is from all the hands stealing my precious pensions.
Sure they Duct Taped me, and that is how I got my name, but the Duct Tape is wearing thin and the hands just keep on grabbing!
What anc you do to help? Help Governor Quinn, my biggest fan, and tell the General Assembly to forget the Duct Tape and give me my obligations!
Before i get filed away, in that ‘Circular File Cabinet’ called ‘default’…”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:29 pm
When I finish with Danjo, Danjo made me sad. Poor little ripped file folder …
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:31 pm
with creative inspiration h/t to Willy, meet:
“Abby The Actuarial Abacus!”
“We need to get back to the basics in the Great State of Illinois. That’s why I’m here, as your Actuarial Abacus to teach you the basics of Illinois’ pension funding problem and how we can all add up a solution! Ready to get started, kids?
(Note: recorded by the awesome Abby Ottenhoff.)
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:31 pm
Very nice, AA.
Sonny the Sock.
Heh … I’m Sonny.
Don’t I look sunny? I have holes in the toes and a huge patch in the heel. I use to hold ALL the pension obligations for YOU. Yep. I was kept in the top drawer and every morning, when i was in the Governor’s Mansion, I would see a bright smiling face, our Governors.
Then …
Some would raid that sock drawer and stick their fat lil hands and grab my pension money.
I got torn. I get mended. I have yet to get fixed.
Don’t YOU want to help Governor Quinn and mend me, Sonny the Sock, so all of us together, can have a Sunny Day?
Fix the Pension Problem, So I can rest in Sock Drawer in Peace.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:38 pm
Quinn, “One Sock. Who has One Sock?? Ok, back to that ‘Squeezy the Python’, that has some legs to it …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:40 pm
I want the notes from the strategy session in the Governor’s Office on Squeezy…I mean, they actually had meetings and decided this was the best strategy? Really?
Comment by Commonsense in Illinois Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:52 pm
Paulie the Pension Pizza.
How youse doin.
Paulie. The Pension Pizza.
Look, dees guys, the General Assmebly. Dey keep takin’ slices. Not. Good.
My guy Pat Quinn. He’s a “made guy”. You “made” em. Now he needs some ‘elp. Youse guys, need to call dees guys ober by Der.
Stop stealing paulie Capice?
I may be a pizza, but I gotta ‘pension’ to get real hot.
Quinn, “Well, no stereotyping there. Who has that drawing of ‘Squeezy’, I want to see ‘Squeezy’ on the dome if i can.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 3:53 pm
Wendy the 3-wheel Wagon.
“Some kids love their wagons. They can count on them to haul almost anythng they can imagine.
Meet ‘Wendy’. Wendy has 3 wheels. How can Wendy do her job without the 4th wheel? Wendy is the Illinois Pension Wagon! Wendy can’t deliver all those pensions without a full 4 wheels. We need to fund Wendy to get our wagon on track.
So, let’s circle the wagons for Governor Pat Quinn… and Wendy the Pension Wagon, and let those General Assembly members know, a 3-wheeled wagon will never tow anything.”
Quinn, “I had a 3-wheel wagon. It’s called a wheel barrel. Can you make ‘Squeezy’ Red … no Orange!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 4:02 pm
Alfie the Amoeba. It is difficult to explain and no one wants to embrace it yet it continues to multiply.
The general public has never truly embraced the Ameoba as a mascot, but a snake!?! that’s another matter entirely.
Comment by Jake From Elwood Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 4:20 pm
“Larry the Lamp. I love it.”
“Do you really love the lamp idea?”
“I love Lamp.”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 4:26 pm
porky porcupine
everybody gets hurt
Comment by walkinfool Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 4:33 pm
==Wendy the 3-wheel Wagon.==
I think I’d like this one a little more if Wendy wasn’t my first name…
Hat’s off, Oswego; you have, again, outdone yourself.
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 4:51 pm
- Wensicia -,
Sorry about the ‘Wendy’!
Hope I made you laugh a bit today …
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:00 pm
==Hope I made you laugh a bit today==
You did; you’re the best!
Comment by Wensicia Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:07 pm
Thank you. Very kind words, I appreciate it
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:10 pm
Paulie Pizza for the win. Loss? I get so confused.
Two early rejections:
“Arthur the Accounting Aardvark!”
and
“Willy the Wonderful Wildebeest!”
Both rejected due to violent imagery and failure to meet Gov. Quinn’s stringent credibility tests.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:12 pm
==”I love Lamp.”==
#winning
Comment by Stu Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:17 pm
AA, lots of reall good ones, well done by all, including you!
We all rose to the occasion to be awful.
Yea Us!
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:19 pm
- Stu -
If we break into “Afternoon Delight” after all these bad ideas for Gov. Quinn, I may finally have to go seek some “help” from a mental health professional.
Thanks!
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:24 pm
Donny the Deposit Slip.
Why so glum, Donny?
I am SUPPOSE to be the slip used for all the money the General Assembly has to put in the Pension Requirement, but all I do is sit here!
I sit and sit, like ugly colored construction paper in a pre-school, as all the other deposit slips are printed and used like (snap) that!
Tell the General Assembly, Governor Quinn loves ugly construction paper, so let pat Quinn use Donny and let Donny … go to the Teller, and not the Shredder!
Quinn, “Shredding documents… a governor that shreds … Ok, who do we have to narrate for ‘Squeezy’ …”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:30 pm
Why didn’t they go with the cute little Tully Monster?:-)
Hey, how about Zoomy, the Pension Ramp Robot? He’s programmed to just set the bar ever higher…
The crack creative team Quinn hired could then borrow an internet image of Bender from Futurama and paint him Illini orange like the snake, and bam: he’s brand-new intellectual property, nobody will ever know….
Comment by Newsclown Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:33 pm
Nothing better than Excellence in Mediocrity.
Good fun.
Unless you’re PQ or the poor schmuck that birthed Squeezy.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:35 pm
===Unless you’re PQ or the poor schmuck that birthed Squeezy.===
You don’t think they read these, do you?
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 5:41 pm
Pat Quinn the Ed Wood of politics.
Comment by mokenavince Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 6:02 pm
Heck no, but they read the Trib.
This just in:
“Henry the Huffy Horsey!”
Whinnies and Nays all the days, but can toss you off and kick you in the a** when you least expect it.
Approach with Caution!
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 6:35 pm
How about something cool like “James General Obligation Bond”
Comment by So. ILL Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 7:39 pm
To be very clear, I know Quinn and his Crew read this blog. Everyone reads this Blog. That is a given.
My point: I always doubt they read the Dopey things I post. It is Sanrk on my end, but I don’t want my snark to be seen as a slight of Rich …
At. All.
To the post …
Dominick the Domino.
While I am great for playing with your kids, fun at parties, and just fun with you buddy down the street, once I fall, in this game of “dominoes” that is called the Pension Crisis, i can’t get back up.
Be afraid of the falling dominoes …
Be afarid of Dominick!
“Hey, who took the ‘Double Blank’!”
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 7:54 pm
Ok, gotta get this to 100 …
For the Century Mark, I give you “The Magic ‘Pension’ Ball”
You shake it, you roll it, you ask it questions. The same answer comes up, and we can’t avoid it …
“Ask your legislator to work with Quinn.”
Haunting, isn’t it …
“Will I pass my Science test?”
“Ask your legislator to work with Quinn.”
“Will Sally go to the dance with me?”
“Ask your legislator to work with Quinn.”
“Should Oswego Willy lay off ‘Squeezy’ tonight?”
“All signs point no”
Yes, the “Magic ‘Pension’ Ball” can answer all our questions, by staying on message:
“Ask your legislator to work with Quinn.”
The Magic ‘Pension’ Ball, when staying on messaage is just plain boring.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 8:03 pm
Pat the Pandering Politician — difficult to distinguish from the rest of the herd.
Ozzy the Oblivious Ostrich–we’ve had our heads up–I mean in the sand for too long.
Clumsy the Metaphor–cuz I’m tired or alliteration.
By the way did anyone notice the similarity of Squeezy and Kaa from Disney’s film the Jungle Book? The “artistic rendering looked like a trace from the Disney coloring book.
Comment by eureka Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 8:47 pm
“Elvis the Evil Eraser”
A couple swipes with this pink villain and yesterday’s debts are swept off the ledger, cleaning the debits and credits for more plunder and pillage!
Willy, great work. Over the century mark again.
Comment by Arthur Andersen Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 9:44 pm
AA, well done as well…
Tomorrow, at least I need to re-calibrate to think “good” not bad.
I ususally forget what happend the day before so its not that difficult.
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 9:52 pm
Nasty The Crazy Illinois Pension Badger
“This is Nasty, the bad*** Illinois Pension Badger,
Watch it run in slow motion.
It’s pretty bad***, look, it runs all over the place.”
“Watch out, says Governor Quinn!
Ew! Its got Sqeezy the Snake!
Oh, its got our budget!
Oh my GOSH!
Oh the Illinois Pension Badger is just crazy!”
“The Illinois Pension Badger has been described by the Guiness Book Of World Records as the most fearless pension problem in the animal kingdom. It really doesn’t give a s@*t.”
“If it is hungry, it…EW! what’s that in it’s mouth? Oh, its got another Sqeezy snake? OH it runs backwards?”
“Now watch this. Taxpayers up a recession tree, but pension badger don’t care, Pension Badger don’t give a s***t. It just takes those taxpayers and eats up whatever it wants! EW! It eats their heads?”
“OH MY GOD, watch it dig - its digging? The Illinois Pension Badger is really pretty bada**. They have no regard for any budget items whatsoever. Its just grunting and, EWWW, eating anything it wants - disgusting!”
“EWWW! What is that, capital investment funds? OH thats NASTY!”
“Look. There’s a General Assembly full of icky corrupt politicians! Do you think the Illinois Pension Badger cares? Nope. Its a bada***. It don’t give a s**t. It goes right into the dome to eat its fill of General Fund monies. How disgusting is that? EWWW, its so nasty.”
“And look. The icky corrupt politicians are crawling all over the pension badger, threatening it with s**t, but the Illinois Pension Badger don’t care.”
Comment by VanillaMan Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 10:12 pm
VM!
Pretty funny stuff!
Comment by Oswego Willy Tuesday, Nov 20, 12 @ 11:45 pm
I’ve got it! This is a job for Jar-Jar Binks!
Comment by Anonymour Wednesday, Nov 21, 12 @ 2:15 am
How about—”I’ll get Mine, How are you doing”?
Comment by Marine sgt Wednesday, Nov 21, 12 @ 9:14 am